Late to the party, but here are somethings I would say.
1. As stated you can wait up to 6-9 months before reporting.
That being stated. What is your AFSC? Are you going rated? Those schools are a year long and to be polite it is Sunday noon through Friday 5 p.m that if you want to be really dedicated there will be little time to spend with each other. Some days it is up at 5, home at 5, eat dinner, study and chair fly until 10-11.
~ Many of the guys/gals are single, and it may mean that she is lonely during the day because it is hard to make friends with student wives if there aren't many there.
~~ Bullet and I were engaged when he went to UNT, we decided that it was best for me to stay back in NJ (he was in Cali) for that year. I would fly out every 4 weeks to see him. Our DS, was also engaged during UPT in TX (Del Rio) and because of employment opportunities there they decided that she should stay back in NC. She flew out every month for a long weekend.
~~~ 1 other reason for this decision was we knew we would not live by our family for many years. You do not realize how deep those roots are planted until you truly leave. The going out there for 4-5 days every month was easy to do when you do the mind game. Week 1...there with you. Week 2...just saw them last week. Week 3...I will see them soon. Week 4...I am leaving this week. Plus, you can skype everynight unlike Bullet and I. (1988)
2. If you are going non-rated, you may have a school too, but it will probably be shorter. 3-6 months. Anything under 6 months is considered TDY. TDY means no base housing, but you can stay in the bachelors Qs, even if you are married.
~ If you have to wait until Nov. to report and the school is 5 months with your permanent 1st duty station report date in April. Than, you both need to ask/discuss:
~~ A. How hard it will be even if she can finish out her degree via online courses when mid-semester you move to start your training. Don't fool yourself, a 3 day travel, means she really will need to be 10 days in front of her assignments due. Hard to submit an assignment when you are on the road. The 1st days if it is a TDY, you will need to find housing off base. Another 2 to set up house (furniture, food, etc). Than add in how long it will take cable to be set up...otherwise she is living at Starbucks. Repeat again in 5 months. Both times she could be looking at either mid terms or going into finals.
~~ B. After 4 years of earning that degree, does she really want to miss that moment of "walking" for graduation? Will she fly back for it, or just say, I left already and now it really is only a piece of paper.
Finally, I agree with Capt. They never will take into account the non-military spouse when it comes to base assignments, UNLESS, you are looking into something that you don't want...Exceptional Family Member...that is usually health issues.
~ I have had friends that have had to go this route, and I am talking major medical issues...needing to be at a higher tier hospital/medical care than the base/town you are going to can offer...i.e. cancer comes to mind quickly.
I think you can go to every forum for insight, but this is a really personal decision that only you two can make it. She needs to be brutally honest with you regarding her own desires/fears.
~ She may inside feel that she would like to stay back until she graduates, but worried you will be upset if she chooses that path over you. She may waiver one day than she wants to start life with you at the 1st base if you don't have a TDY school, and the next day want to stay back until she graduates.
~~ You have time...lots of time. If you commission in May, it will be rare even for non-rated to leave before Oct. Orders are cut typically 6 weeks, so next Aug.
Trust me, I walked down the road for a year of my life without Bullet, at a time where there was no Skype, no cell phones, calling Cali from NJ cost $1 a min (you didn't talk long), but I think it was the best thing ever for us, especially for his career. I had to live life for long periods without him, something I did as an AF wife over and over again. It made me stronger.
Did I miss him like crazy? Of course I did, but when he said he had to go TDY for 4 months, I knew we could survive it because we already did it before. For us because we did survive long distance for a year, this was a walk in the park anytime he did any TDY.
Good luck