Essay Revision - Non-ROTC

Discussion in 'ROTC' started by mfrey, Apr 20, 2016.

  1. mfrey

    mfrey Member

    Mar 13, 2016
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    I am in the process of applying for NROTC/AFROTC and I was wondering if anyone would be interested in reading my essays? (Both for ROTC and regular college admissions) So far I have written one Common app essay and one NROTC essay.

    Let me know and I will PM you the essays.

    Thank You!
  2. Anthony B.

    Anthony B. Proud 4-year AROTC Scholarship recipient

    Apr 12, 2015
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    I don't know if I would be your best bet in editing or revising them for you but some tips that I have gotten along the way are

    Always have two different people edit them because one might pick up on something the other missed
    Have an English teacher read it over
    Make the essay branch specific stating why you want to be a Naval officer or Air Force officer specifically not just why you want to be an officer in general
    Mention some personal goal that you have that the armed forces can help you achieve
    Brag a little bit
    AROTC-dad likes this.
  3. rocatlin

    rocatlin Member

    Jan 24, 2013
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    As stated:
    English teacher for grammar and flow
    Multiple people to read it -- and that know you
    Willingness to serve and then target specifically why in on particular branch
    Genuine confidence but not cockiness

    Most importantly...make sure the person in your essay matches the person that shows up at your side of the interview table. No one on the forum can really give insight to who you are. Be genuine.
  4. txpotato

    txpotato Member

    Jan 10, 2013
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    Just a thought re asking an English teacher to read your essay... IF you do, please consider giving her/him a gift card when you're done. Please don't just assume that because she's an English teacher that she has the time or the inclination to read student essays in her spare time. You might consider contacting the English department at your local college or university and asking if there's a grad student who's interested in making some extra dough.
  5. Dckc88

    Dckc88 Member

    Dec 10, 2015
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    My suggestion is get the content first, then have an English teacher or someone in your family that is good at grammar do a final read. I don't know about Navy or AF, but for Army, the space was very small, only so many characters allowed, so getting the content concise and hammered out prior to worrying about structure is my suggestion, or you will be going back and forth.

    Another idea, a couple of my daughter's schools did not have an essay prompt instead just wanted a short writing sample, she re-used her ROTC essay with a short explanation of what it was.

    An ROO also suggested making sure to mention how she would benefit the Army, instead of just focusing on what she would get from it and why she wanted it, just an idea.

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