First Semester Done of Plebe year

J

JTGib13

DS-USMA & USNA Appointee Class of 2020
Joined
Mar 18, 2015
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137
AN HONEST PARENT REVIEW/OBSERVATION:

My son just completed his first semester yesterday and here are a few things he mentioned on the car ride home that I thought may be useful. We discussed the past 6 months beginning with R-Day and all the way to his last exam yesterday. These may be random but I know a year ago I was looking for every bit of info as possible being a parent with ZERO military in our family!

He said looking back to BEAST, if he could do it all over again he would not look at the long lists of items that everyone suggested should be brought to BEAST. Instead he would have only brought the following items and done a much better job of making sure his bag was as light as possible on that LONG R-Day!!! He said for clothes he would have brought absolutely NOTHING except extra underwear. All the issued items are fine for BEAST according to him and the ONLY other items he would have brought beyond the required items would have been small size toiletries and Prickly Heat soap and powder. I even said: "You barely brought ANYTHING though!" And he said: "Still, I brought too much."

He said he was surprised by how cynical everyone is at West Point and as a Plebe you either love/hate it or you hate/hate---there is no in between. The Plebe requirements he hates the most are not being allowed to talk outside, having to cup his hands all of the time, having to square every corner, and daily announcements. (It's not called announcements but I can't remember the words he used but the Plebes have to do several reminders a day for everyone else in a boring monotone voice.) Honestly, he seems a little cynical himself now and almost "mad" that all of his friends are having a very different experience right now. I'm sensing a bit of regret and this is coming from a kid who has wanted this for many, many years but you can see he's now aware of the side of WP that no one really talks about openly and honestly. Just as many/most applying, he was always incredibly driven and did exceptionally well in high school. He also did well during his first semester at WP. (Please understand he considers himself a Plebe who loves/hates it! He's very proud of all that he has accomplished but as I said---I am sharing this because I see a new edge in him about some of the monotonous requirements, but he also defends them and says he understands why they are in place.) :)

Here is what I will toss in myself as a parent---please make sure your DS or DD has ALL other options in front of them so they can make an informed decision. I am sure by listening that my son does not regret it but he had a full ROTC scholarship that could have been used at several very good traditional colleges but chose WP over all of them and also over theNaval Academy so I am sure he is still very grateful for being at WP after a long journey to get there. But what I am trying to say is if your DD or DS does not get in and has very good back ups, have them read the book Succeeding by John T. Reed and they may just feel happy (and even relieved) that they were forced to choose their back up. He is a WP grad and says it like it is! His main point is don't go somewhere just to say you went there---make sure it's a good fit.

This post is in NO WAY meant to sound negative at all. I was only trying to give observations after a first Plebe semester based on things my son has shared with me. My son did very well and went into his exams with a 3.92 GPA so he stayed focused and pushed through a tough 6 months but part of me is wondering if he wishes he had used his ROTC scholarship at a civilian college. I will never know and would never ask him and I don't think he would ever admit it anyway! :) He's vary competitive and knowing him, he will finish what he started as strong as he is possibly capable of doing.

I have a lot more information but this is long enough! If you have any other questions, please ask and I'll ask him if I don't know the answer! :)

To end on a GREAT note---GO ARMY!!! My husband and I attended the Army/Navy game and it was truly amazing!!! We plan on going the next 3 years! GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE and I hope your DD and DS gets to attend their dream school wherever that may be!! :)

 
Appreciate the insights. Great info.

Your DS seems driven and very intelligent. What was the secret to his high GPA?

Did he get involved in any extracurricular and athletic activities?
 
Padre101 said:
Appreciate the insights. Great info.

Your DS seems driven and very intelligent. What was the secret to his high GPA?

Did he get involved in any extracurricular and athletic activities?
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His secret to his high GPA has always been that he budgets his time well. He did say that comparing WP to high school where he played 2 varsity sports and played in the school band was that he had a lot less time at WP and he had to budget his time better than ever. To answer your other questions, he tried walking on to the WP baseball team but he was cut in mid-September and then he joined company athletics and played basketball. He did admit that while he was following the baseball schedule he had zero free time to just shut down so after he was cut it was much easier to manage his school work. When company athletics ended, he lifted 3-4 times a week in the afternoon and was able to continue to keep up with the course load.
 
Hmmm, he's cynical already, has a love/hate relationship with the 47-month experience, and maintained a 3.9 GPA? Sounds like he's right on track for great success.

The announcements you speak of are known as "calling minutes."
 
Sledge said:
Hmmm, he's cynical already, has a love/hate relationship with the 47-month experience, and maintained a 3.9 GPA? Sounds like he's right on track for great success.

The announcements you speak of are known as "calling minutes."
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Yes---calling minutes---that's it! Thank you!! He does the imitation of it and I can see how that would wear on anyone! :) I told him he seemed on track for sure and I'm sure he was proud of his own hard work. But yes...he has some edge I have never heard before when he tells certain stories! :) Thank you for your thoughts! :)
 
I am with sledge... cynicism... he is right on track! Everyone gets it. It especially heightens as it gets cold, dark and seems to never end. Mids and Cadets are pretty famous for their cynicism and sarcasm. It changes as you grow during the experience. Congrats on a successful semester for your DS.
 
Thanks for sharing his experience. I've always sensed that this is how WP life would be and I've discussed it many times with my DD but she doesn't want to hear it anymore. She says WP will be my life. OK then. It is a tough road for them and they don't have the same college experience as, for example, my friend's daughter who has spent her entire semester having a good ole time and failed most of her classes so now has to come home. I just know no matter how they commission as an officer, they'll will secure their future. At least that's the plan!
 
JTGib13 said:
His secret to his high GPA has always been that he budgets his time well. He did say that comparing WP to high school where he played 2 varsity sports and played in the school band was that he had a lot less time at WP and he had to budget his time better than ever. To answer your other questions, he tried walking on to the WP baseball team but he was cut in mid-September and then he joined company athletics and played basketball. He did admit that while he was following the baseball schedule he had zero free time to just shut down so after he was cut it was much easier to manage his school work. When company athletics ended, he lifted 3-4 times a week in the afternoon and was able to continue to keep up with the course load.
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Thanks for the response.

I agree with the others. A healthy amount of cynicism is exactly that: Healthy. Cynicism got me through 20 years in the Army.
 
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Mere2033 said:
Thanks for sharing his experience. I've always sensed that this is how WP life would be and I've discussed it many times with my DD but she doesn't want to hear it anymore. She says WP will be my life. OK then. It is a tough road for them and they don't have the same college experience as, for example, my friend's daughter who has spent her entire semester having a good ole time and failed most of her classes so now has to come home. I just know no matter how they commission as an officer, they'll will secure their future. At least that's the plan!
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I completely agree that they all go in knowing it is an extremely difficult path chosen, but I am also sure there are MANY who are not prepared for just how tough it is. That being said, to respond about your friend's daughter who had "too much fun", my son had 3 roommates this semester and one of them failed 3 classes so he was kicked off of his sports team and one of the other ones was also very close to failing a class so that is everywhere regardless of the college atmosphere, in my humble opinion. He was a bit surprised with how many kids around him did not have a lot of drive considering how tough we all know it is to get in. Anyway, overall I believe he is happy with his choice but it is quite evident that even with all the research done and doing an overnight, and attending a camp there, it's hard for anyone to understand the day-to-day grind until they are living it. :) I know I could never have and/or never would have chosen that path so I marvel at these kids choosing such a tough route at 17 or 18 years old! Good luck to your DD!!! :)
 
The #1 life saying that my kids would give from dad is "Do the Hard thing now, so things will be easier later". My son is a Firstie this year, and I see it as kinda like a woman having a baby, you forget all the pain as you see what you have brought into this world, Plebe year is a dim but proud memory to him now. . All those "Good times" at civilian colleges often lead to a lifetime of regrets. Sorry I just can't buy into this If you haven't' Partied through College you haven't lived the "Experience".

BTW My son has had Soooo many fun and awesome experiences at USNA, I can tell you the one at civilian college is not getting the same level of fun adventures. Yeah I know its hard,
Saying #2 from Mom "Life is not fair, Get overt it!"
 
Next semester is going to be even worse, they call it "The Dark Days" cold, miserable, dreary FEB & March. Then its all down hill from there. Tough Love.;)
 
What your son is expressing is VERY normal! I doubt there are any Plebes who come home for Christmas leave saying, well that was a fun semester! He will be hearing that though from his friends who went to civie schools. He will hear about all the fun they had, the sleeping in, the partying etc. He won't have too much to add to that conversation. You will also see over the years that they will pull away from their high school friends and gravitate towards their WP friends. That too is normal.
Be prepared about his mood when he goes back. He will probably get very moody, sullen in the days before he leaves. That is normal too. He likely will not be happy about going back. He may even say that he doesn't want to go back. That too is normal. Let him be moody. Give him some space. The hardest day, as a parent (also with no family military experience) was not R-day. It was the day we put him on the plane to go back to WP after Christmas leave. They're somewhat excited about R-day. They may be scared, but they are excited about finally going to WP - their dream that they had worked so hard for to get in. After Christmas leave, they are not excited. They know what lies ahead. Winter in gloomy, cold and gray. Their mood will likely reflect that for a couple on months. Putting them on that plane, knowing that they may not really want to go back, is hard on a parent. You want your kids to be happy and you know they are not happy. They do know that this is something they need to do and they go.
Know that it does get better! Plebe year just plain sucks, but each year after that, they get more privileges, more seniority, more freedom.
My DS graduated a couple of years ago. He was never one who hated WP, he just didn't particularly like it. He will say that while he never loved it, he never regrets going there. Most grads are very proud to be a grad.
Enjoy your Plebe while he is on leave. Let him spend time with his friends. Give him some space. Don't pepper him with questions about West Point, unless he brings it up first. This is his time away from WP. Let him refuel and prepare to go back for his last semester as a Plebe.
 
forumjunkie said:
Next semester is going to be even worse, they call it "The Dark Days" cold, miserable, dreary FEB & March. Then its all down hill from there. Tough Love.;)
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Classic!! I won't share this with him!! :) I let him find out and "live it" on his own! :) Tough love is great---but I'll let someone else tell him! :)
 
buff81 said:
What your son is expressing is VERY normal! I doubt there are any Plebes who come home for Christmas leave saying, well that was a fun semester! He will be hearing that though from his friends who went to civie schools. He will hear about all the fun they had, the sleeping in, the partying etc. He won't have too much to add to that conversation. You will also see over the years that they will pull away from their high school friends and gravitate towards their WP friends. That too is normal.
Be prepared about his mood when he goes back. He will probably get very moody, sullen in the days before he leaves. That is normal too. He likely will not be happy about going back. He may even say that he doesn't want to go back. That too is normal. Let him be moody. Give him some space. The hardest day, as a parent (also with no family military experience) was not R-day. It was the day we put him on the plane to go back to WP after Christmas leave. They're somewhat excited about R-day. They may be scared, but they are excited about finally going to WP - their dream that they had worked so hard for to get in. After Christmas leave, they are not excited. They know what lies ahead. Winter in gloomy, cold and gray. Their mood will likely reflect that for a couple on months. Putting them on that plane, knowing that they may not really want to go back, is hard on a parent. You want your kids to be happy and you know they are not happy. They do know that this is something they need to do and they go.
Know that it does get better! Plebe year just plain sucks, but each year after that, they get more privileges, more seniority, more freedom.
My DS graduated a couple of years ago. He was never one who hated WP, he just didn't particularly like it. He will say that while he never loved it, he never regrets going there. Most grads are very proud to be a grad.
Enjoy your Plebe while he is on leave. Let him spend time with his friends. Give him some space. Don't pepper him with questions about West Point, unless he brings it up first. This is his time away from WP. Let him refuel and prepare to go back for his last semester as a Plebe.
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All great advice! Thank you. We drove back with another Plebe so the two of them talked the entire time about everything and I listened. I have never been one to hit him with rapid fire questions because I learned a long, long time ago that as a parent you get the most info when you let them start the conversation. :) I am happy that since he has arrived home he has surrounded himself with really good friends from high school and he's going out to lunch and dinner with friends and relaxing!! No military talk in our household so he's safe from it! I can already see and imagine that when he goes back he will be cranky!! I am expecting it!! I look at it as this has always been his choice so he needs to figure out how to get through it. :) I hope this helps some of the parents waiting to see if their DD or DS gets in and maybe it will help them through BEAST and at least the first semester! GOOD LUCK TO ALL! :) It is tough to watch but there are also times when you see the pride shine through after the hard work and it's all worth it! :)
 
Prepare for quietness as the 48 hours before reporting back approaches. As someone who has picked up USNA mids singly and in groups at BWI to ferry them back to the Yard, for any Reform after a leave period or even Sat night or Sunday afternoon, the car is very quiet. I can almost hear the stomach aches and tension starting. I tell them about how I felt exactly the same before any big new job, new duty station - to recognize this as normal, and they will be fine once they are back in it again and too busy to think. It helps. A little.

It's really hard when the reality of 7 more semesters of this are the iceberg bearing down on them, and their regular college friends' lives seem like the Elysian Fields of college years.
 
buff81 nailed it. You could replace USMA with USNA and it would be still be 100% true and why all SA grads have a connection. For the Plebe parents, take note. In another 12-24 months they will make plans for skiing over break or New Years celebrations with their buddies from WP. Many tend to gravitate towards their SA buddies as they move on in the process. WP will start to feel more and more like "home". Its where their life, friends and everything they do is. For the Plebe's on break, have fun. Relax. As jealous of your friends you are right now listening to their stories of what "real" college is like, soon enough the script will be flipped. When they hear your travels in the summer, future assignments overseas, graduating in 4 years debt free, they will be jealous of what your future holds.
 
NavyHoops hit it spot on as usual. Used to tease My Plebe/Youngster about heading home (Back to Academy) and he would get mad. As a 2nd and Firstie that is exactly how it is, after a few days of Leave he is chomping at the bit to get back to his home and his People at the Academy. Almost no common ground with old friends now, but oh the bonds he has forged there.
 
Because our son went to an east coast boarding school for high school, Plebe year was his fifth year away from home and dealing with the winter blues/grays (we live in a sunshine state). He was very sympathetic with those making all of these adjustments for the first time, so he went out of his way (and still does) to encourage the discouraged, share coping mechanisms, tutor, and just lend an ear when someone needs to vent. He thinks that homesickness is the biggest problem most Plebes face; the new grind is one thing, but that (hidden) emotional ache on top of all the changes can be brutal and going home the first time or two, back to what the Plebe misses most is, for some, a form of torture. Going home stops the ache. The prospect of returning brings dread. Eventually, as posted above, WP (or other college) becomes the new normal and perspectives shift. Plebes grow up emotionally and are able to move on. It's a process, and most make it through.

One piece of advice given to boarding school parents that I think applies here: Enjoy your student while s/he's home, but do not go overboard telling them how much you miss them--and absolutely no tears when they go back. Regardless of how hard it may be on you watching your child leave your nest, don't add to the stress by leaving your young adult with an image of parents suffering at home (especially you, mom). Leave them with a picture of you full of encouragement, smiling and proud. You can hit the bottle later. ;)
 
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parentalunit2 said:
Your plebe’s observations are as old as the hills surrounding West Point.
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I assumed that his observations are as old as the hills but hearing it more openly from my son---and for new parents---or parents with no military background---it was very new to me and I'm sure will be very new to most future parents of kids at SA's. When my son told me his plans/goals, I read and read and read as much as I could about West Point and all the service academies and I made the original post yesterday because even after all the research and reading I had done, I can honestly say, I never heard that the kids were SO miserable. I heard it was extremely tough, etc etc etc...but I had never heard that Plebes hated going back to school, or Yuks were bitter, or Cows were cranky or Firsties were the most cynical of all. So to all of you who read this and thought: "I've heard this one a million times..." I apologize that you had to read something you already knew, but to new parents OR parents hoping and praying their kids get in for whatever reason, I wanted to share some honest and open conversation that happened between my son and me so that hopefully you could have a different perspective beyond reading how great it is, and what an honor it is to get in, and how tough but rewarding it will be. There is much more to it than I think most care to share. I feel extremely fortunate that my son is doing well but a very, very, very small part of me hopes it doesn't make him hateful, resentful, and cynical about his future. My original angle was to help those people whose kids don't get in to realize that there other great options that will get your son or daughter to the same goal of becoming an officer without necessarily going through a SA so enjoy their senior year and as long as they have solid back up plans, they will be fine! :) Once again, I think WP is an amazing place and I am extremely happy that my son is where he always wanted to be. :) Enjoy the holidays with your sons and daughters!!! :D Go Army! ;)
 
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