Help! My parents don't want me to be a pilot after graduation. How do I convince them otherwise?

Oh, another post-military pilot career:
- USNA grad, Marine helo pilot, internally transitioned to being a Foreign Affairs Officer (FAO) while a Marine, got a related Master’s on Navy dime, then went to Defense Language Institute, studied Chinese, had an immersion year in-country, was assigned as a military attaché, returned to DLI, learned 2 Indonesian languages, was assigned to Indonesia, became the prime military Indo-Pac briefer for the National Security Council (regularly briefed President 1:1 and Cabinet members), retired from the Marines as a senior officer, is now a senior fellow at a prestigious international foreign affairs think tank and an in-demand keynote speaker.

She also earned some respectable chest candy leading and flying humanitarian missions in a forward-deployed det of CH-46s from Okinawa during the 2011 Japanese tsunami recovery.


Air Force also has FAOs…
 
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chirag_c said:
So the subject line says everything.

My parents don't want me to be a pilot after graduation. They are literally dead set on me NOT being a pilot, and apparently they don't care what I do in the Air Force as long as I'm not in the field. They want me to work in an intelligence type of field, and I already know that I want a computer science degree as it would be pretty useful for the later future.

But, I've thought about it and I really want to be a pilot after graduation, just for the journey of that kind of life and because I love being around planes in general.

I think what they're worried about is me not being able to get a job after retiring from the military other than commercial pilot (which they are even more against than being a pilot in the Air Force). But even then, I tell them to look at all the benefits of being a pilot and they are just having none of it.

With all this being said, I know I could probably become a pilot anyway and they wouldn't be able to do anything about it, but I really don't want to be that guy.

So, I have a lot of questions:

After serving as a pilot, what jobs can I get in the civilian market that is not commercial flying? (This is the reason for the Computer Science degree)

And how else can I convince my parents that being a pilot in the Air Force is a good thing?

The fact that my parents don't want to even hear anything related to this is really messing with me right now, so I would really appreciate any advice regarding this whole thing!
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what about drones?

My parents don't want me to fly either but they like the idea of flying drones. I would prefer to fly planes in person but I am considering drones because of computer science as well and combining the two is kinda cool.
 
hopefulacademycandidate said:
what about drones?

My parents don't want me to fly either but they like the idea of flying drones. I would prefer to fly planes in person but I am considering drones because of computer science as well and combining the two is kinda cool.
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Any career decision influenced by parents that does not align with your own personal dream I would argue is a bad decision. Are drones cool? Sure. Do they do good work? Of course. Does the feeling of flying drones compare to raging at 500kts at 300ft through Alaskan mountain valleys as you try to fight your way to the target? No.

If you don't believe me, believe this. Every year we get tons of drone operators trying to cross train to be pilots. We don't see pilots wanting to cross train to operate drones. There is a reason for that.
 
JohnMcLane said:
I understand your parent's perspective. They want to protect you and are worried about your safety, not your financial well-being. As a retired infantry officer, I didn't want my kids to join the military. But guess what? It's who they are and trying to stop them from being themselves is like trying to protect a sand castle in the surf. I've learned to deal with it and your parents will, too. You need to do You. And that's what you tell them. That said, you're a long way away from getting a pilot slot so you might not even need to have this conversation at this point.

Financially you'll have it made as a pilot. In the military, you make more than any ground pounder and you'll be in high demand by major airlines that actually pay well (as opposed to the smaller feeder airlines).

Best of luck and Check 6!
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I don’t understand there opposition, follow your heart, not your helicopter parents….
 

Capt MJ said:
Oh, another post-military pilot career:
- USNA grad, Marine helo pilot, internally transitioned to being a Foreign Affairs Officer (FAO) while a Marine, got a related Master’s on Navy dime, then went to Defense Language Institute, studied Chinese, had an immersion year in-country, was assigned as a military attaché, returned to DLI, learned 2 Indonesian languages, was assigned to Indonesia, became the prime military Indo-Pac briefer for the National Security Council (regularly briefed President 1:1 and Cabinet members), retired from the Marines as a senior officer, is now a senior fellow at a prestigious international foreign affairs think tank and an in-demand keynote speaker.

She also earned some respectable chest candy leading and flying humanitarian missions in a forward-deployed det of CH-46s from Okinawa during the 2011 Japanese tsunami recovery.


Air Force also has FAOs…
Click to expand...
My "road roommate" for my final "at-sea" reserve tour - 4 yrs on a Battle Group Staff was a former F-14 pilot (Harvard NROTC grad) who went to law school after active duty. His civilian job was as a very senior member of his state legislature and probably future senate candidate.

Our CO was a former F-4 NFO whose civilian job was running a company that he started which provided 2nd opinions for Psych patients being committed. Our sister unit CO was a former P-3 pilot (my USNA classmate) who after serving as a White House military aide had gone to law school and was a very high profile lawyer in NYC. He is currently General Counsel of the Dept of the Navy.

My company classmates and I recently met for a reunion - here are what the aviators did after military (flying) service:
1 A6 pilot - did 20 yrs in the USN, then law degree and now practicing contracts law

1 more A6 pilot who finished his 20 in the USNR, also law school and was a lawyer for the gov't of large mid-Atlantic state.

1 F14 Pilot Topgun grad and was the Navy tech advisor (and appeared in) the first Topgun. Then became a major Real Estate
Developer in Southern Cal.

1 more A6 pilot who did 20 in the USN and then moved over the be a test pilot for NASA.

I P3 pilot (My roommate who started out as a SWO) finished 20 in the USN and then flew for a major airline until retiring from that job.

1 F4 NFO (another roommate) who left the USMC after 10 yrs and finished in the USNR. Worked in the Aerospace industry and
eventually became president of a Division that built Rockets for NASA
 
Go after what you want to do!
I 100% dislike flying. White knuckle it every flight. When my son came home from college freshman year and asked if we'd pay for flight lessons, he was thinking of trying for a pilot slot, I cringed. But it's not my life to live. He succeeded. He has a Mechanical Engineering degree so after his 10, he has great options on what he'd like to do. Remember---- it's 10 years AFTER you get your wings. So much in life can change, the industry can change......

Am I absolutely thrilled he's an AF Pilot, ummmm not so much, but I am absolutely proud.

I am sorry your parents are not supportive on your ambitions and dreams.
 
chirag_c said:
So the subject line says everything.

My parents don't want me to be a pilot after graduation. They are literally dead set on me NOT being a pilot, and apparently they don't care what I do in the Air Force as long as I'm not in the field. They want me to work in an intelligence type of field, and I already know that I want a computer science degree as it would be pretty useful for the later future.

But, I've thought about it and I really want to be a pilot after graduation, just for the journey of that kind of life and because I love being around planes in general.

I think what they're worried about is me not being able to get a job after retiring from the military other than commercial pilot (which they are even more against than being a pilot in the Air Force). But even then, I tell them to look at all the benefits of being a pilot and they are just having none of it.

With all this being said, I know I could probably become a pilot anyway and they wouldn't be able to do anything about it, but I really don't want to be that guy.

So, I have a lot of questions:

After serving as a pilot, what jobs can I get in the civilian market that is not commercial flying? (This is the reason for the Computer Science degree)

And how else can I convince my parents that being a pilot in the Air Force is a good thing?

The fact that my parents don't want to even hear anything related to this is really messing with me right now, so I would really appreciate any advice regarding this whole thing!
Click to expand...

Getting out of the service with say 12 years of USAF officer experience, and a highly marketable degree from a great college, you'll be able to articulate the systems/ technology you've worked with from any airframe to pursue a position that would utilize your education, years of experience, I do think technology/ management consultant/ general management to lead personnel are areas which they seek people with your leadership experience, technical acumen, organization, leadership abilities, ability to convince/ champion for direction. You'd also be recruitable to Boeing et al. Search linkedin for USAF grads/ AF Officer alum and see where they landed - reach out to them about their career paths - see who responds.

There is a lot out of your control at this time, regardless of what you want. AFROTC scholarships - no SA or ROTC scholarship for that matter, are guaranteed for 4 years. Air force is known to yank scholarships after 2 years for people meeting grades, standards, fitness standards, etc. Much is is ahead of you that you don't need to decide now - if you don't want to be a pilot, declare that, and if you have a CS degree, I see no worries and you'll be sucked into cyber or CS like fields - air force has many non pilot/ non rated positions for leaders. It's often the opposite where people want that pilot slot but don't get it.

I have children your age and there is so much pressure on y'all to define your next 25-40 years at 17. You don't have to do that. LEARN about careers, get trained, see what appeals to you through training, and try a flight lesson or 5 to see if you have any interest in flying- eventually. For now, breathe, get your college apps in, enjoy your senior year, and good luck to you.

Overall, I would encourage you to keep discussing concerns with your parents, and work together to define how you'll treat each other when all of you are adults - which is soon. It's a hard transition for some, but they've given you a platform and you're likley off to a great start - soon you'll spread your wings and fly and make mostly your own choices. It's your life. Good luck with working that out - know your parents likely just love and care for you and want the best, but at some point the cord can be cut and you'll be pilot in command of your airframe/life.
 
You don't have to get your parents to agree. I would suggest being vague... "I am going to investigate all my career options."
You will be an adult and you will be in the military.... your parents can't tell you what to do.
 
Shadow06 said:
After serving as a pilot, what jobs can I get in the civilian market that is not commercial flying? (This is the reason for the Computer Science degree)
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after 8 years duty service as a pilot, you just cannot be a computer engineer for sure, since CS industry changes so fast, every year is different. But, I don't think you would still want to be a CS engineer on that time, since there will be so many other opportunities for an retired AF pilot .
 
Xdian said:
after 8 years duty service as a pilot, you just cannot be a computer engineer for sure, since CS industry changes so fast, every year is different.
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I would disagree with that. I spent 40 years in the industry and always stayed on the bleeding edge. The fundamental building blocks never change. It's simply a matter of picking up new languages and techniques; while using the same old building blocks to create solutions. I've done that when the need arose after several years of retirement. Mission accomplished in two weeks.

I don't disagree about the opportunities for retired AF pilots
 
Choose your on path. Your parents aren’t at USAFA nor will they receive a commission and serve. YOU are! Choose a career path in which you really want to serve. Worry about what happens after the military as you near the end of your military career. Good luck and Semper Fi
 
My recommendation is do what excites you. It’s not their career, it’s yours. If you pick some field just to make your parents happy you likely to make yourself miserable. Why do you want to be in the Air Force? I think you said to fly. Imagine yourself a few years from now in the Air Force and NOT flying. Doesn’t make any sense does it?
 
mascara_mom said:
Go after what you want to do!
I 100% dislike flying. White knuckle it every flight. When my son came home from college freshman year and asked if we'd pay for flight lessons, he was thinking of trying for a pilot slot, I cringed. But it's not my life to live. He succeeded. He has a Mechanical Engineering degree so after his 10, he has great options on what he'd like to do. Remember---- it's 10 years AFTER you get your wings. So much in life can change, the industry can change......

Am I absolutely thrilled he's an AF Pilot, ummmm not so much, but I am absolutely proud.

I am sorry your parents are not supportive on your ambitions and dreams.
Click to expand...
In the 🎯, mom
 
Here’s my own story as an anecdote regarding career twists and turns:

USN enlisted (Electrician’s Mate) followed by NAPS & USNA. I had every intention of making the military a career.

Studied political science at USNA, service selected USMC Ground.

Served as a Logistics Officer, finished on recruiting duty. HATED recruiting duty, resigned my commission.

Worked in telecommunications as a middle manager for a few years and HATED corporate America.

Approaching 22 years in the fire service, positioned for promotion to Deputy Chief this summer in a major metropolitan fire department (there are less than 25 serving in this rank in our department). I have LOVED every second of my firefighting career.

The moral of the story is to take advantage of every opportunity the military throws your way. Enjoy what you’re doing in the moment. Do something cool because it’s something cool that YOU want to do!

If you obsess about planning every step of your journey and justifying it to anyone other than yourself, you run the risk of not enjoying the ride!
 
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