I don't think you're alone -- I'm sure that sentiment is shared by many parents. I'll try to address this from a few different perspectives.
First, I want to acknowledge that I'm just a kid who doesn't know much, so take my recommendations about how you should handle all of this with a grain of salt. With that said, I know a lot of USNA parents that seem to be FAR too involved in their child's life. This may not seem possible, but I think it is... I know parents who text classmates, email professors and company officers, and resort to "helicopter parenting" due to their concern for their child. USNA is not the place for children that need to be babied -- I think we all know that. As hard as it is, I think it's great to allow your child to be independent and learn on their own. That will be vital to their development as an officer. It's good to learn to be tough. That doesn't mean you can't be there for them, it just means give them the space to become their own person. For most mids, this is the first time they leave home.
One thing I think most parents AND appointees don't realize, is that the idea of USNA being a warfighting institution is alive and well. Your children will scream "kill" in response to commands over Plebe Summer, they will learn about "the enemy," and they will be taught that being an officer implies using extreme violence to impose your will upon those who stand in your way. This is the harsh reality of what goes on here. It's not an environment where children are coddled.
I think many midshipmen are quick to become cynical, because in the day to day motions of seemingly meaningless tasks, lectures, mandatory events, etc., it's easy to lose sight of why we are at the academy. They say it's a leadership institution, but I think many of us feel woefully undertrained and unprepared. They say we're warriors, but people are out of shape, don't care about school, and don't care about their character. Somehow, academics have become the primary means of evaluation of our performance at the academy.
The "unique and wonderful environment" certainly does exist. But, everything you see online in videos are just small snippets of what actually goes on here. The day to day life might be unique and novel at first, but the shininess of it all quickly wears off. Noon meal formations that tourists and parents marvel at are just another annoying mandatory event you have to do that's keeping you from doing homework. Parades take away much needed liberty time. Wearing summer whites on the weekends getting increasingly annoying when you can't go anywhere unrecognized, and you can't eat anything without your uniform getting dirty. You get the idea.
Now....Despite all of this, I don't know anyone who has regretted their decision to come here. Even those that DOR'd don't seem to have regretted the time they spent here, even though they chose to leave the institution. Ultimately, what makes this place bad is also what makes it good. The comradeship and esprit de corps that mutual suffering creates is indescribable. One will truly understand the meaning of a friendship after going through this place. You learn to appreciate the opportunities this place provides; the places you go, the people you hear speak, the grit that you develop. I can firmly say I've become a better person because of this place. However, I don't think it's because of the institution. It's because of the people I'm surrounded by.
As a whole, what makes USNA a great place is not the institution itself, but the people that it attracts. I have a certain fondness for the people around me and the people I hope to lead some day. I think the institution is flawed in so many ways, but I still know I made the right choice by coming here.
At the end of the day, all a midshipman can do is smile through it all and make the best of it. Some of my best memories that my friends and I laugh about are the memories of the worst times we had here. You just have to have fun with it.
Is it really that bad? It can
I don't think you're alone -- I'm sure that sentiment is shared by many parents. I'll try to address this from a few different perspectives.
First, I want to acknowledge that I'm just a kid who doesn't know much, so take my recommendations about how you should handle all of this with a grain of salt. With that said, I know a lot of USNA parents that seem to be FAR too involved in their child's life. This may not seem possible, but I think it is... I know parents who text classmates, email professors and company officers, and resort to "helicopter parenting" due to their concern for their child. USNA is not the place for children that need to be babied -- I think we all know that. As hard as it is, I think it's great to allow your child to be independent and learn on their own. That will be vital to their development as an officer. It's good to learn to be tough. That doesn't mean you can't be there for them, it just means give them the space to become their own person. For most mids, this is the first time they leave home.
One thing I think most parents AND appointees don't realize, is that the idea of USNA being a warfighting institution is alive and well. Your children will scream "kill" in response to commands over Plebe Summer, they will learn about "the enemy," and they will be taught that being an officer implies using extreme violence to impose your will upon those who stand in your way. This is the harsh reality of what goes on here. It's not an environment where children are coddled.
I think many midshipmen are quick to become cynical, because in the day to day motions of seemingly meaningless tasks, lectures, mandatory events, etc., it's easy to lose sight of why we are at the academy. They say it's a leadership institution, but I think many of us feel woefully undertrained and unprepared. They say we're warriors, but people are out of shape, don't care about school, and don't care about their character. Somehow, academics have become the primary means of evaluation of our performance at the academy.
The "unique and wonderful environment" certainly does exist. But, everything you see online in videos are just small snippets of what actually goes on here. The day to day life might be unique and novel at first, but the shininess of it all quickly wears off. Noon meal formations that tourists and parents marvel at are just another annoying mandatory event you have to do that's keeping you from doing homework. Parades take away much needed liberty time. Wearing summer whites on the weekends getting increasingly annoying when you can't go anywhere unrecognized, and you can't eat anything without your uniform getting dirty. You get the idea.
Now....Despite all of this, I don't know anyone who has regretted their decision to come here. Even those that DOR'd don't seem to have regretted the time they spent here, even though they chose to leave the institution. Ultimately, what makes this place bad is also what makes it good. The comradeship and esprit de corps that mutual suffering creates is indescribable. One will truly understand the meaning of a friendship after going through this place. You learn to appreciate the opportunities this place provides; the places you go, the people you hear speak, the grit that you develop. I can firmly say I've become a better person because of this place. However, I don't think it's because of the institution. It's because of the people I'm surrounded by.
As a whole, what makes USNA a great place is not the institution itself, but the people that it attracts. I have a certain fondness for the people around me and the people I hope to lead some day. I think the institution is flawed in so many ways, but I still know I made the right choice by coming here.
At the end of the day, all a midshipman can do is smile through it all and make the best of it. Some of my best memories that my friends and I laugh about are the memories of the worst times we had here. You just have to have fun with it.
Is it really that bad? It can be if you want it to be. It doesn't have to be if you choose for it not to be.
be if you want it to be. It doesn't have to be if you choose for it not to b