Is this for real? USAFAPS

[dontactuallybelong]

Hi. Sorry in advance for this weird and long post. I'm not sure where else to ask this. I'm going to try and avoid as many specifics as possible, because I don't want to give out too much identifying information. My child has a friend currently at USAFAPS who did some dumb stuff after they had committed, but before they left for Colorado. Nothing that would constitute a felony, but still pretty dumb. My child was romantically/sexually involved with this person while still a minor and this person is an adult. I'm not thrilled about it, but I don't feel my child was abused or taken advantage of, and she doesn't seem to either. We are talking 17 and 18, not some 14 year old. It ended amicably and both kids have been very mature about it all. My child also witnessed this person drink and use marijuana shortly before they left, and that occurred in front of several witnesses. They did not provide drugs or alcohol to my child, and I'm thinking they must have passed their drug screen already. To me, it seems like a dumb mistake by an otherwise decent kid. There has been a lot of gossip around town about whether this person "deserves" to be there, and it appears someone may have reported misconduct to the Prep School. Supposedly they are sending representatives to speak with teenagers including my child, but we've heard nothing directly from anyone credible. So far it's just a bunch of busybodies and teenagers talking. The student has not told my child anything about this, but supposedly they know about it. My questions are: Is that even something the AFA would do? Do they ever interview friends about behavior outside of school? Would they approach a student and tell them they were going to interview their friends back home?If it is true, I am not inclined to allow them to speak to my child. The "sex with a minor" portion of the accusations would be difficult to prove without our cooperation. I'm not comfortable with strangers talking to my kid about this. My concern is whether that would cause the cadet candidate further problems if they decide it is best to admit what happened and work through whatever disciplinary process there is. I don't think my child should bring it up with this person, because communication is very limited and I don't want to add ridiculous stress from home to this person's already stressful time if it's just worthless gossip. I also think it could cause further problems if it seemed like they are "getting their stories straight". I believe this person would not ask my child to lie for them. Is something like this be a big deal to the school, since it didn't even happen at the school? Is this something a student could be dismissed for? I'm not interested in ruining some kid's life over this. I'm also curious if the accusations of a third party could affect the likelihood of this person getting an appointment. Hopefully someone here is knowledgeable. Thank you.

 

[kinnem]

I don't know if this is normal or not. I could see where they might be worried about drug use. I recommend just answering the questions truthfully. I wouldn't volunteer anything if not asked. If it's a topic your kid doesn't feel comfortable with (eg. sex) she should just tell them she doesn't feel comfortable discussing that. They certainly can't make you answer their questions. It's not a court of law.

 

[NavyHoops]

They can't make you answer any questions. The only time anyone has asked any questions along these things would be if you are listed as point of contact for a security clearance. They are drug tested a great deal at the SA. He may or may not get caught. Generally third party items would not compel something like this unless they approach the young man and he lies or he they suspect he is lying on a security clearance documentation. No requirement to answer, you can respectfully decline.

 

[dontactuallybelong]

Thanks for the replies. The whole thing sounds like either a jealous ex, or someone who just likes to spread gossip in a small town, so I'm going to assume nothing will come of it. Don't know much about SAs, but it seems like there are some VERY strong opinions about who "deserves" to be there and who doesn't, especially when it comes to recruited athletes. I know I don't have to answer any questions, and I wouldn't allow them to speak to my kid. I would probably have an attorney draft a letter requesting we not be contacted again if someone actually did. I was more wondering if this is in any way a plausible story we've heard. I don't want to be involved in any of it, to be honest. I guess we will just wait and see what happens.

 

[repatriot]

I would not sweat it, and my advice would be not to discuss further... would also advise the cadet not to discuss and not to answer any questions.