Mental Struggles of Doolie Year

raimius said:
Are you part of any clubs or extracurricular groups? That is where a lot of friendships and support groups are formed. If your squad isn't clicking, is it partly because people are not hanging out? You might be able to organize stuff to get people together (formally or just on the spot). A lot can happen if you just constantly invite people to the gym, on a run, to grab dinner etc.
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I would have to agree with this! My DS is also an Doolie and his saving grace is his extracurricular group. They have dinner every day together and they socialize on Friday evenings. They are definitely his lifeline!

To the OP: Are you in any groups? Also, the Sponsor family or going with someone else to their Sponsor family is a great recommendation :) change of scenery works wonders.

And as people said above, this is all by design and things will definitely get better in the coming months and especially after recognition. You got this!
 
Hey Doolie, Upperclassman here. I felt the same way as a doolie, totally isolated, alone, and stressed out. I genuinely considered leaving the Academy as a 4deg but I stuck it out and my new squadron is everything I wished for and more. Great friends with people inside and outside of my class, plenty of SAR movie nights and whatnot. I get it's lonely. I get it's stressful. But if you don't give up it will be worth it.
 
Agree with others to talk to chaplains. What about talking to your squad peers? My DD is a peer, and I can connect you to her if you don't feel comfortable talking to your peers or have not made a connection with them. She did not have an easy breezy time last year so she can relate. Talking to the peers in her squad allowed her to have a normal college connection without frat. It will get better after Rec which seems like a long way away. You will also switch squads next year which is I know also seems like a long way away, but things will change. Getting off base whenever you can is really helpful via a sponsor family or borrowing a car from an upperclassman. Does your squad do dine-outs? My DD looked forward to these too.
 
It's my understanding that many Doolies are struggling. I'm not on the FB Parent Page (not on FB at all) but I do know from DS that this seems to be the norm. I echo the recommendation of joining an Extracurricular group,
 
Cider42 said:
For what it's worth, know that you have many people rooting for you "back home" and beyond....particular as a NWP 21er (my DD is your classmate). There aren't too many channels through which to show this support, but know that it is there and we are cheering for you to succeed. We are incredibly proud of what it took to stay focused after that initial "disappointment" of not getting a direct appointment in 25....but you stayed committed to the pathway and chose to go up the mountain last fall. Then you endured the delayed start with the forest fires and all that drama. Then you made it through the spring at home...probably explaining to many friends what on earth you were doing back home!...and patiently waiting for that appointment letter or call from your Congressman. Then I-Day, BCT, A-Day, and now its nearly Thanksgiving. While the months ahead may look dark, look back at the foundation you've built for yourself and be proud of it. We are proud of you.

Are you able to get off base on Sundays to your sponsor's home? That has worked well for my DD. If not, PM me and I'll connect you...maybe you can join her one of these weekends. It's very chill there and they are a generous family. Keep taking it in small chunks as much as possible...meal-to-meal, day-to-day.... As for workouts, see if you can change up your routine a bit to at least get some gym time doing something.

You got this.
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Cider42,

Lots of help available. Couple of things to consider:

1. Speak with your Coach. All Doolies are assigned a coach their C4C year. These coaches are C3Cs; therefore, they too have just recently gone through their Doolie year and likely will relate to some of your concerns/feelings. It is their responsibility to help you through this year and provide guidance when needed.

2. Look for a 'Teal Rope'. As you may, may not know, Cadets have the opportunity to become a peer counselor. At USAFA these cadets wear a teal rope around their arm to signify that they have gone through the training and met the certification requirements to provide support to cadets that need it. Their support is confidential - all you have to do is seek them out.

3. USAFA's Chaplains Office is there for support. You can always reach out to them too for support.

4. Find a club or a hobby that will allow you to engage your colleagues outside of military, leadership, physical and academic requirements.

I wish you the best of luck... my experience is that AFTER recognition life gets A LOT better and things relax a little bit!
 
AFBoyMom said:
Cider42,

Lots of help available. Couple of things to consider:

1. Speak with your Coach. All Doolies are assigned a coach their C4C year. These coaches are C3Cs; therefore, they too have just recently gone through their Doolie year and likely will relate to some of your concerns/feelings. It is their responsibility to help you through this year and provide guidance when needed.

2. Look for a 'Teal Rope'. As you may, may not know, Cadets have the opportunity to become a peer counselor. At USAFA these cadets wear a teal rope around their arm to signify that they have gone through the training and met the certification requirements to provide support to cadets that need it. Their support is confidential - all you have to do is seek them out.

3. USAFA's Chaplains Office is there for support. You can always reach out to them too for support.

4. Find a club or a hobby that will allow you to engage your colleagues outside of military, leadership, physical and academic requirements.

I wish you the best of luck... my experience is that AFTER recognition life gets A LOT better and things relax a little bit!
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Just some clarification, Teal Ropes help people with situations such as SA, harassment, and victim support. PEERS, who have dark blue ropes, are who you describe. :)

OP, you got this. Doolie year is tough, it definitely is, but remember that everyone around you is either going through it with you or has already done it. Good luck.
 
KiwiBird said:
Just some clarification, Teal Ropes help people with situations such as SA, harassment, and victim support. PEERS, who have dark blue ropes, are who you describe. :)

OP, you got this. Doolie year is tough, it definitely is, but remember that everyone around you is either going through it with you or has already done it. Good luck.
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AFBoyMom said:
Cider42,

Lots of help available. Couple of things to consider:

1. Speak with your Coach. All Doolies are assigned a coach their C4C year. These coaches are C3Cs; therefore, they too have just recently gone through their Doolie year and likely will relate to some of your concerns/feelings. It is their responsibility to help you through this year and provide guidance when needed.

2. Look for a 'Teal Rope'. As you may, may not know, Cadets have the opportunity to become a peer counselor. At USAFA these cadets wear a teal rope around their arm to signify that they have gone through the training and met the certification requirements to provide support to cadets that need it. Their support is confidential - all you have to do is seek them out.

3. USAFA's Chaplains Office is there for support. You can always reach out to them too for support.

4. Find a club or a hobby that will allow you to engage your colleagues outside of military, leadership, physical and academic requirements.

I wish you the best of luck... my experience is that AFTER recognition life gets A LOT better and things relax a little bit!
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Thanks @KiwiBird for chiming in. I was going to do the same regarding PEER and Teal Rope clarification. Peers are a great resource that allows a normal college aged convo. Highly recommend reaching out to a PEER.
 
Cicak2463 said:
Hello all,

I just wanted to ask if anyone had any advice for getting through Doolie year while feeling so mentally burdened. Right now, I just feel completely isolated and lonely. I feel emotionally disconnected with the other Doolies in my squadron, and, of course, we can't really talk to upperclassmen like friends because of frat. The Academy pushes Doolies to just get the "stupid" out of their systems now, so most people I know just jack around all the time and don't give a crap. The rest are so focused on not messing up school or training that they can't be personable people beyond their studies. I have one of each for my roommates. Neither of them is emotionally in tune with others, so I can't talk to either of them when I really need to or when I'm just having a bad day. I've been physically injured the entire semester, so I haven't been able to work out until 2 weeks ago. I'm just getting back into it, and I am struggling so hard with running. I feel like there's nobody to turn to for anything and that there's no way to find good friends here, especially as a Doolie. Nobody is happy here, and it feels like there's no escaping it. One of the upperclassmen said this is the lowest morale they've seen in the wing ever. I'm sure it'll get slightly better what with the Army win, but it doesn't change that we're going into the dark ages. Quite honestly, I'm worried that I won't feel any better even after next semester. Any advice on how to handle this and not just get into a mental spiral downwards?
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Our DS is a runner and just recently found time to go to the gym. He too said he has nobody to run or workout with and hasn't found friends yet. Your story sounds similar to our DS situation. He goes to El tutoring in the evenings, but goes to the gym at different times between 2-5:30 pm. Maybe you can show up at the treadmills and and ask some of the cadets if they'd like to be a running/workout partner. He's also looking for someone to practice soccer skills with. He said it's a problem now finding friends because of the rules with Doolies going to other Squadrons.
 
Wolf? said:
I’m a 26er too. I thought I had it the worst feeling like this/that. I’m a direct so it’s less connections/friendships for me coming into this new environment . It has began to drag down other areas of my life. My roomate is from NWP too. I feel the same way tho/:.
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Our son is a 26er and is experiencing what you 2 are experiencing. Very bad moral this year and the Squadrons in general and especially the Doolies aren't meshing well together. I'm hearing it from many parents of Doolies and Sophmores this year how bad it is. It doesn't help when some Squadrons do lots of things together and celebrate and then some Squadrons are extremely strict and do little to nothing fun together. To a parent, it's obvious which Squadrons are the fun ones and which ones do nothing....just monitor their Instagram pages, posts and stories. Our cadet gets along well with the upperclassman, but there's a fine line due to the frat rules and he doesn't click with the Doolies in his Squadron. He's made it on the Superintendent's List and he doesn't even want the Doolies in his Squadron to know.
 
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