Norwich Class of 2027 thread

[banjoppd]

Any parents of rooks out there?

Rook week is over and classes began today. My DS is definitely struggling with rook life. I know this is totally normal but man, it's tough to hear how beaten down he feels. He's a tough kid, great student, disciplined, and was so excited to start this lifestyle. All of that is gone right now. He says the PT is easy and he's got a great roommate. It's the cadre that is relentless with all the yelling & lambasting that's wearing him down. He watched his roommate get yelled at for like 3 minutes for a small mistake. Yesterday my DS got yelled at for cracking a smile at something funny. I know this is all par for the course - I'm just trying to put it all in perspective.

Rook Arrival Day had a common theme throughout - don't quit! At the time, I didn't have the slightest concern that he would want to. Now I see him sliding down that slippery slope and I don't know what to say to encourage him. It'll end soon? The yelling doesn't mean anything? It'll get better? I don't even know if any of that is true.

I'm hoping (praying) as classes start up - and he's in the dorms less - that he'll get enough space to clear his head and find his spark again. The good news is, the campus chapel is a safe haven where no yelling is allowed. He said he'll be going there a lot

Trust the process. Trust the process.
Hopefully recognition is at Christmas break.

 

[wnsham96]

Rook mom here, I feel your pain. Now I know why all of the older moms were posting on the Facebook groups that they were praying for us the night before rook arrival. My DS said it was a tough, tough week. He started emailing us today and said going out to class has made it a bit better. He’s joining a club to get away from it too. I think they have to find a way to stay out of the barracks during the day to avoid this. Library, academic buildings etc

Also tell him to bond tightly with his roommate so they can support each other. They need that to get through. Same with the rest of the squad and platoon. Bond and support each other in tough times.

Also, the counseling and wellness center is a place to just go talk to someone about managing the stress. It’s a support that’s provided by Norwich for the cadets to use.

That’s all I’ve got. I’ll be thinking of you and your rook. Hopefully it gets better!

Thank you @Milarmymarinelady for sharing your experience with me. My DS has already determined that the best way to minimize the cadre interaction is by getting involved in a variety of clubs, going to the chapel, and staying out of the dorms as much as possible. So that will be his strategy.

Thankfully he's got a great roommate. We met him and his parents while we were there for Rook arrival day. Seems like a real sweet and humble kid, no drama, but my DS says he's also struggling. I hope he pushes through, because I think they could really have a lasting friendship.

He did mention the wellness center, but feels like there is no opportunity to go there. Maybe it's different now that Rook week is over. Thankfully, I received an email from him last night that said he loves his classes and he was feeling a lot better than the week before.

I do send him an email every night with some encouraging words. I think that's helped some.

 

[wnsham96]

A few others aren't quite equipped for the rigor for whatever reason. They take the yelling a bit too seriously, homesickness becomes unbearable, the worry of tomorrow morning's wake-up clouds their view of the long-term gain and the long-term goals they set just a few months before.
Some quit before they get the chance to celebrate Rook Recognition. Others spend time in the chapel, seek counseling with the chaplain, pull together with friends, take it one day at a time, and go on to graduate and eventually say the same thing that most graduates of SA's and SMC's say "It was a tough place to be, but a great place to be from."

The trick as a parent is to know when the anxiety is perfectly normal and requires a tough-love approach, and when it may indicate a slide toward depression. That's always difficult, but especially from a distance. I wish I could provide more help with that. My wife and I weren't, and you likely aren't any better prepared to recognize the difference than our kids were prepared for the culture shock.

Our son's now a senior. He kicked butt at Advanced Camp this summer, is well-adjusted to Norwich, loves the local ski slopes, and seems well on his way to a solid degree and commission. He still occasionally wonders why he didn't take his scholarship to State Party U, but he can smile when he admits that.

Best wishes to you.

Yes, I feel he was taking all the yelling too seriously (and too personally). It really shook him up, which surprised me because he had just completed FLC a couple of weeks before.

Yes, depression is always on my radar, because his older sister was in and out of hospitals for a few years as we tried to stabilize her mental health. (She's doing great now, and just recently got married!) Our DS, however, is a totally different personality and I've never been concerned about it with him. Until now, at least. My eyes are wide open for any signs that might present themselves. And thankfully, our family knows how to talk about it.

I'm doing my best to stay outside the circle and just watch and listen from a distance. My tendency is to pick up the phone and talk to someone - make sure my kid is getting treated fairly. Make sure this isn't going beyond the appropriate boundaries. I know my kid, and this isn't like him to feel defeated and want to give up.

But, I won't do that. I'll just keep encouraging him, supporting him, motivating him the best way I can. Keep pointing him to his end goal and cheering him on. Give him lots of space to learn how to adapt and navigate this new world on his own. Because, I know he can.

Thank you for sharing your son's experience. I know there are hundreds of other stories just like his, which is why I'm just trusting the process. I have yet to meet or converse with a Norwich cadet or alumnus who didn't think it was all worth it.

 

[dddad]

But, I won't do that. I'll just keep encouraging him, supporting him, motivating him the best way I can. Keep pointing him to his end goal and cheering him on. Give him lots of space to learn how to adapt and navigate this new world on his own. Because, I know he can.

This! And, he will get through it.

 

[ELCID1995]

Any parents of rooks out there?

Rook week is over and classes began today. My DS is definitely struggling with rook life. I know this is totally normal but man, it's tough to hear how beaten down he feels. He's a tough kid, great student, disciplined, and was so excited to start this lifestyle. All of that is gone right now. He says the PT is easy and he's got a great roommate. It's the cadre that is relentless with all the yelling & lambasting that's wearing him down. He watched his roommate get yelled at for like 3 minutes for a small mistake. Yesterday my DS got yelled at for cracking a smile at something funny. I know this is all par for the course - I'm just trying to put it all in perspective.

Rook Arrival Day had a common theme throughout - don't quit! At the time, I didn't have the slightest concern that he would want to. Now I see him sliding down that slippery slope and I don't know what to say to encourage him. It'll end soon? The yelling doesn't mean anything? It'll get better? I don't even know if any of that is true.

I'm hoping (praying) as classes start up - and he's in the dorms less - that he'll get enough space to clear his head and find his spark again. The good news is, the campus chapel is a safe haven where no yelling is allowed. He said he'll be going there a lot

Tell him to treat all of the yelling as just a game and never take it personally. Remind him that he is not going through this alone. He must embrace the suck. That's how I got through Knob Year at The Citadel over 3 decades ago.

 

[USMC8993]

My DD is doing alright, she voiced some frustration after the first week about the Cadre and the seemingly pointless extended yelling for no reason but I reminded her that there is a reason even if the reason is just for them to tolerate without knowing a reason. He roomate quit and she got a new one this past Sunday. I also reminded her that it's not personal, she's in it together with her rook sibs and to focus on academics. Soon she will have club hockey and she also is currently trying out for the Cold Weather Mountain Club. She's dealing with some pain in a couple joints and I hope that it's nothing serious. The toughest part is not being able to communicate with them regularly. I worry about the workload of rookdum, sports, clubs and academics. She seems like she is happy with it and is seeking more opportunities. Just told her to pace herself...it's early.

 

[USMC8993]

I'll be curious to hear what my DD has to say at the weekly phone call this week. I know the INDOC for the clubs end today...she went for the Cold Weather Mountain Club and haven't heard a peep from her all week. So my questions will be about classes and clubs.

 

[wnsham96]

I'll be curious to hear what my DD has to say at the weekly phone call this week. I know the INDOC for the clubs end today...she went for the Cold Weather Mountain Club and haven't heard a peep from her all week. So my questions will be about classes and clubs.

My DS was originally excited about going out for Ranger Company, but after learning more about other clubs he decided to try MCW. Yesterday he sent me a 3-sentence email that said, "Good evening. MCW is rough. We climb mountains."

We were having nightly emails during Rook week and then he fell off the radar. Now I'm lucky to get a 3-sentence email once a week

He's doing better now, still hates the yelling but he's trying to stay busy and out of the dorms to minimize the exposure. He said that he and his roommate keep each other sane by laughing about how ridiculous it can be.

I can't wait to see him at Parent's Weekend in October. I just hope he doesn't sleep the whole time.

 

[banjoppd]

My DS was originally excited about going out for Ranger Company, but after learning more about other clubs he decided to try MCW. Yesterday he sent me a 3-sentence email that said, "Good evening. MCW is rough. We climb mountains."

We were having nightly emails during Rook week and then he fell off the radar. Now I'm lucky to get a 3-sentence email once a week

He's doing better now, still hates the yelling but he's trying to stay busy and out of the dorms to minimize the exposure. He said that he and his roommate keep each other sane by laughing about how ridiculous it can be.

I can't wait to see him at Parent's Weekend in October. I just hope he doesn't sleep the whole time.

Try and get VRBO with an extra bedroom. He and his rooks brothers will just catch up on sleep. I wouldn’t make plans to go anywhere. They have to wear a uniform.

 

[JDBx3]

Tell him to treat all of the yelling as just a game and never take it personally. Remind him that he is not going through this alone. He must embrace the suck. That's how I got through Knob Year at The Citadel over 3 decades ago.

Yes. Here is a psychological trick: When being yelled at, look through or past the person doing it and focus on a real or imaginary dot, spot or mark on the wall or anything in the backdrop behind the person yelling. You can still hear what is happening, but it has the effect of ratcheting down the intensity level dramatically and you are able to remove yourself from the situation while still being present and capable of responding if necessary.

 

[wnsham96]

Try and get VRBO with an extra bedroom. He and his rooks brothers will just catch up on sleep. I wouldn’t make plans to go anywhere. They have to wear a uniform.

Yes, I booked an Airbnb so he could have his own room! At least he'll get some privacy for a couple of days.

 

[wnsham96]

Yes. Here is a psychological trick: When being yelled at, look through or past the person doing it and focus on a real or imaginary dot, spot or mark on the wall or anything in the backdrop behind the person yelling. You can still hear what is happening, but it has the effect of ratcheting down the intensity level dramatically and you are able to remove yourself from the situation while still being present and capable of responding if necessary.

Good tip! I've told him that he has control over his thoughts and nobody else. He can choose how he processes the yelling. I have mentioned a similar strategy of having a secondary focus when he's being yelled at, so his mind is not prioritizing what is being said. Thankfully, they are not allowed to look directly at the cadre when they are being spoken to, and I think this is helpful.

 

[USMC8993]

My DS was originally excited about going out for Ranger Company, but after learning more about other clubs he decided to try MCW. Yesterday he sent me a 3-sentence email that said, "Good evening. MCW is rough. We climb mountains."

We were having nightly emails during Rook week and then he fell off the radar. Now I'm lucky to get a 3-sentence email once a week

He's doing better now, still hates the yelling but he's trying to stay busy and out of the dorms to minimize the exposure. He said that he and his roommate keep each other sane by laughing about how ridiculous it can be.

I can't wait to see him at Parent's Weekend in October. I just hope he doesn't sleep the whole time.

Same here...communications have really diminished. We get a 10 min call on Sunday and that's it. We made a point to ask her to at least check her email and give a short reply to let us know she saw it. She says she is so busy she is getting to-go meals twice a day. Says she is a Rook PSG (some sort of leadership duty) that adds to her list of things she has on her plate but so far she seems to be handling it. Sent out 14 lbs of healthy snacks today. When you think about it, what they are going through is a remarkable experience. My Marine Corps boot camp was 13 weeks, but I wasn't also simultaneously going to college fulltime and playing a sport and joining an additional specialty unit for even more yelling and challenges. It will also probably be 15+ weeks before they get recognized.

 

[USMC8993]

Is there a limit to when they can wake them up? Getting a bit worried about sleep deprivation while she is engaged in academics. I'm being told that on several occasions she has had to get up at 0400 or 0430. I thought 0530 was the earliest they could get them up.

 

[Milarmymarinelady]

Is there a limit to when they can wake them up? Getting a bit worried about sleep deprivation while she is engaged in academics. I'm being told that on several occasions she has had to get up at 0400 or 0430. I thought 0530 was the earliest they could get them up.

I don’t know about a limit, but ours told us this past Sunday that he’s now getting up at 0445 to be on the wall at 0500. It was 0530… I hope they’re able to adjust and get to sleep earlier if needed. It’s hard to watch them go through all of this, but trying hard to trust the process.

 

[Michael_T]

I don’t know about a limit, but ours told us this past Sunday that he’s now getting up at 0445 to be on the wall at 0500. It was 0530… I hope they’re able to adjust and get to sleep earlier if needed. It’s hard to watch them go through all of this, but trying hard to trust the process.

Is there a limit to when they can wake them up? Getting a bit worried about sleep deprivation while she is engaged in academics. I'm being told that on several occasions she has had to get up at 0400 or 0430. I thought 0530 was the earliest they could get them up.

Just to put both of you at ease, I can offer some clearance, as a NU '26 student, although I am not cadre, wake up was moved to earlier, as AROTC PT was moved to earlier, to allow Rooks and other cadets to have time to get breakfast before formation, and in many cases, students having 8 AM classes, didn't allow adequate time to get breakfast. This being said, even though wake up is earlier, lights off is also earlier, instead of 2200, it's now 2130, to allow for the time gap, in missing sleep.

 

[Milarmymarinelady]

Oh this is great news, Ty Michael! Hope your year is going well. I’m glad to see you’re still around here giving us info from time to time. My rook seems to be doing ok. He’s emailing us less and less which I think is good. Fingers crossed for all of the rooks and cadets that things are going well for all.