NSI - support for parents

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NavyHopefulMom

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Our son left early this morning for NSI phase 1. We're very excited for him and proud of him, but it's also a bit hard to let him go for nearly three weeks without any contact or sense of how things are going. I know that "no news is good news" but, oof, 18 days is a long time. I've talked to a few other parents who were struggling a bit so I thought I would start a thread so that we could support each other, and also perhaps hear from parents who have been through this already. I have a sense that this is training for parents as much as for our midshipmen since they're going to be away for much longer stretches of time when they serve. Letting go is never easy...
 
NavyHopefulMom said:
I have a sense that this is training for parents as much as for our midshipmen since they're going to be away for much longer stretches of time when they serve.
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^^This...

Consider this short separation a "warm up" for future separations. We went through this with 2 kids and know how you feel now, but it's part of them growing up and living the path they have chosen. Mine are both active duty and we have been through many of these separations including a 7+ month deployment where we had no contact of any kind other than a phone call about 6 months in letting us know everything was fine and roughly when the deployment was to end. It's not easy, but you get used to it and learn to value the time you have together that much more. Plus, each time they go away and come back you see amazing growth in them.

Not trying to downplay your feelings at all, but it will get worse and you will get used to it if your son stays on this path.

Best of luck to your son in his journey...
 
Time for parents to start their own transition from active parenting to life consulting role with each fledgling leaving the nest. As we often say here, you taught them to fly, now watch them soar. You also taught them to pick themselves up and solve their own problems, so let them. Best gift you can give them now. You will be going from pretty much knowing everything in their daily lives to progressively less, which is an adjustment, but gives you time to focus on things you’ve been wanting to do for yourselves. Best gift you can give yourselves!

We had a USNA sponsor family son, only child, who went subs. His mom, a teacher, had always enjoyed taking photographs. She took some classes, honed her artistic skills, took beautiful photographs of the natural beauty in their western state, and created notecards and other items with her shots, sold them in local stores. Won photography contests. Continued to improve her skills and enjoy the creative outlet. We have a beautiful mountain lake sunset shot framed as a gift from her. Her son was amazed and then proud, seeing his mom as other than the dedicated teacher and family driver to his events, as he watched her enjoy devoting time to her own pursuits. He helped her set up a website showcasing her work. These life cycle adjustment points create growth and opportunity for all. Focus not on what was, but what can be.
 
My son is at NSI 1 also. We had long talks before he departed about expectations. I told him to just do your best and to tap into the adrenaline for an extra push. NSI is only 3 weeks compared to the 8 weeks of Navy Enlisted boot camp. I reminded him that I went through 11.5 weeks of USMC boot camp back in the late 80's. It kind of put it in perspective that his 3 weeks will be tough but not as long as a boot camp. Just some fun competition, I did give him a warning that if he did NOT qualify expert on the pistol I would razz him unmercifully. The back story is that I was a marksmanship instructor in the USMC and we have gone to the range rehearsing the Navy Pistol Qualification course several times. My son's weak area will be pushups.

Here is a link from last year's NSI classes. Use the search bar to find NSI #1. I have no idea if/when they will post photos of our midshipmen. https://www.dvidshub.net/tags/image/nsi-2022
 
Dadof2 said:
^^This...

Consider this short separation a "warm up" for future separations. We went through this with 2 kids and know how you feel now, but it's part of them growing up and living the path they have chosen. Mine are both active duty and we have been through many of these separations including a 7+ month deployment where we had no contact of any kind other than a phone call about 6 months in letting us know everything was fine and roughly when the deployment was to end. It's not easy, but you get used to it and learn to value the time you have together that much more. Plus, each time they go away and come back you see amazing growth in them.

Not trying to downplay your feelings at all, but it will get worse and you will get used to it if your son stays on this path.

Best of luck to your son in his journey...
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This is really helpful; thank you. I'm grateful for the support and for the "warmup" :).
 
Capt MJ said:
Time for parents to start their own transition from active parenting to life consulting role with each fledgling leaving the nest. As we often say here, you taught them to fly, now watch them soar. You also taught them to pick themselves up and solve their own problems, so let them. Best gift you can give them now. You will be going from pretty much knowing everything in their daily lives to progressively less, which is an adjustment, but gives you time to focus on things you’ve been wanting to do for yourselves. Best gift you can give yourselves!

We had a USNA sponsor family son, only child, who went subs. His mom, a teacher, had always enjoyed taking photographs. She took some classes, honed her artistic skills, took beautiful photographs of the natural beauty in their western state, and created notecards and other items with her shots, sold them in local stores. Won photography contests. Continued to improve her skills and enjoy the creative outlet. We have a beautiful mountain lake sunset shot framed as a gift from her. Her son was amazed and then proud, seeing his mom as other than the dedicated teacher and family driver to his events, as he watched her enjoy devoting time to her own pursuits. He helped her set up a website showcasing her work. These life cycle adjustment points create growth and opportunity for all. Focus not on what was, but what can be.
Click to expand...
This is very beautiful, Captain MJ; thank you. We have very full creative work lives - and we have a 14-year old son still at home (yay!) - and we'll continue to focus our energy there.

What I know for sure is that DS doesn't want us to worry. He said to us multiple times before he left: "Just assume I'm having a great time." He knows it's going to be challenging, but he was born to serve with the Navy and there's no place else on earth he'd rather be right now. Remembering that helps a lot.
 
NavyHopefulMom said:
This is very beautiful, Captain MJ; thank you. We have very full creative work lives - and we have a 14-year old son still at home (yay!) - and we'll continue to focus our energy there.

What I know for sure is that DS doesn't want us to worry. He said to us multiple times before he left: "Just assume I'm having a great time." He knows it's going to be challenging, but he was born to serve with the Navy and there's no place else on earth he'd rather be right now. Remembering that helps a lot.
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DH and I, both Navy, developed a standard phrase between ourselves and with families before going on deployments or other separations. “See you soon,” usually with a “love you” riding along. No goodbyes, no mention of actual period of time, just simple and positive.
 
DS heads out for session 2 so he is enjoying beach time with friends right now (with lots of warnings to stay out of trouble). I really appreciate this thread to help me wrap my head around the future, both short term and long term.
 
DS Marine Option left yesterday as well for NSI 1. We're looking forward to attending the graduation ceremony on the 26th.

All good info in here. Believe and trust in your kids! They are some of the best this nation has and these kids want to get out from the constant protection of mommy and daddy. You raised your child to have good morals and a hard work ethic and it will be benficial for both the child and the parent!

On another topic, did anyone have trouble getting their kid to NSI? DS's unit said he was all set for his travel authorization and confirmed his itinerary. We decided to check in for his flight the day before and found out to our surprise the airline had cancelled his flight a week earlier! Ugh! We had a few moments of panic as the city we live in doesn't have a lot of options for last minute flights. Fortunately for DS, we were able to call the unit and alert them to the issue and they were able to correct it within a couple of hours! Whew. :D
 
NavyHopefulMom said:
Our son left early this morning for NSI phase 1. We're very excited for him and proud of him, but it's also a bit hard to let him go for nearly three weeks without any contact or sense of how things are going. I know that "no news is good news" but, oof, 18 days is a long time. I've talked to a few other parents who were struggling a bit so I thought I would start a thread so that we could support each other, and also perhaps hear from parents who have been through this already. I have a sense that this is training for parents as much as for our midshipmen since they're going to be away for much longer stretches of time when they serve. Letting go is never easy...
Click to expand...
Sending caring thoughts your way! Our DS is a rising 2/C & his summer cruise experience has turned into an international adventure we never imagined. We obviously can’t give specifics since he’s still gone but I thought the same thing: this isn’t all for him, the Navy is also testing us 🤣. Thankfully he’s quite communicative when he’s able to be… but it’s going to be a few weeks (approx.) of silence, which is taking a lot of getting used to. Great job starting this thread - my BFF had her son leave for a study abroad in Spain the day before our DS left. Though it’s not exactly the same experience - it kind of is as we both need to start letting go 🥺. We’ve been supporting each other - I’m so grateful for her ❤️ right now….
 
Boymomof3 said:
Sending caring thoughts your way! Our DS is a rising 2/C & his summer cruise experience has turned into an international adventure we never imagined. We obviously can’t give specifics since he’s still gone but I thought the same thing: this isn’t all for him, the Navy is also testing us 🤣. Thankfully he’s quite communicative when he’s able to be… but it’s going to be a few weeks (approx.) of silence, which is taking a lot of getting used to. Great job starting this thread - my BFF had her son leave for a study abroad in Spain the day before our DS left. Though it’s not exactly the same experience - it kind of is as we both need to start letting go 🥺. We’ve been supporting each other - I’m so grateful for her ❤️ right now….
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Thank you! 🙏🏽
 
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