Parental advice needed...please!

Maybe this was suggested. If so, disregard.

My suggestion, and insight having been through a few interested applicants in my time.

Teens change their mind at least 7,374 times per year. That's about 20 times per day. Ok, so I exaggerate. Suggest to her to apply to the academy, as well as to 4-5 other universities. Assure her that even if she gets accepted, she doesn't have to accept the appointment. Also assure her that even if she does accept the appointment, she can change her mind and cancel. Even up to the day before. Hell, she can simply not show up. Not like she's going to get in trouble. Also assure her that even if she does accept it, and does show up, she can still change her mind at any time for the entire first two years there.

Then, simply suggest to her that you'd like to make sure that she has options. You just want her decision to be based on choices, not from a lack of options. And if in the end, after receiving an appointment, she still prefers to not accept the academy, then support her 100%.

It wouldn't have bothered me if either of my kids wanted to work their way up to being the manager of Burger King. As long as it was their choice and not because of a lack of options.
 
My DD thought she wanted to go to USAFA. We visited last year during her junior year spring break. We also visited several colleges with AROTC and AFROTC programs. After leaveing the AFA she told me that she loved it and could see herself doing very well there. She then proceeded to say that she doesn't think that is what she wanted. At first it didn't make sense to me??? You loved it but it's not for you? She explained that she wanted more of a college experience and not the rigorous schedule of an academy. She still started her academy applications but stopped. She ended up applying to AFROTC, AROTC and NROTC. She was first awarded an AROTC scholarship to one of her favorite schools. She then said that isn't what she wanted. I was VERY confused again!!! She didn't want to talk about it with me but I gave her space to let her make her decision. Then the AFROTC came through and gave her a scholarship to her other favorite school. At that point both her father and I had a discussion about her choices. She told us she was going AFROTC. I think this is what she wanted all along and knew it since we stepped on the campus she was awarded the scholarship. We gave her space to make her decision and it worked out in the end....It had to be her decision and NOT ours. We helped her along the way with her decision. That is what parents are suppose to do....Help them make decisions... NOT make the decisions that will affect their adult life. If they make the wrong decision....we are there again to help them recover and move on!!


Good Luck to your DD!!
 
Maybe this was suggested. If so, disregard.

My suggestion, and insight having been through a few interested applicants in my time.

Teens change their mind at least 7,374 times per year. That's about 20 times per day. Ok, so I exaggerate. Suggest to her to apply to the academy, as well as to 4-5 other universities. Assure her that even if she gets accepted, she doesn't have to accept the appointment. Also assure her that even if she does accept the appointment, she can change her mind and cancel. Even up to the day before. Hell, she can simply not show up. Not like she's going to get in trouble. Also assure her that even if she does accept it, and does show up, she can still change her mind at any time for the entire first two years there.

Then, simply suggest to her that you'd like to make sure that she has options. You just want her decision to be based on choices, not from a lack of options. And if in the end, after receiving an appointment, she still prefers to not accept the academy, then support her 100%.

It wouldn't have bothered me if either of my kids wanted to work their way up to being the manager of Burger King. As long as it was their choice and not because of a lack of options.
BRAVO and a great advice as always!!!
 
Agree with Christcorp. My daughter also just returned from SS and was one of the students that raised their hand when asked if they were unsure. She liked many things about the AFA, but has reservations about others. But, she did say that she will apply and make her decision later if she is accepted. She voiced that she is afraid she would regret it if she did not apply and would always wonder what if. She is also going to apply to AFROTC. I am glad she went, because she is now comparing everything to AFA. She is presently at Rose-Hulman Institute in Indiana and she said she prefers the AFA hands down. One thing that really impressed her was the caliber of the cadets that she came across. She wants to be like they are. She also said, that the seniors at Rose-Hulman seem immature and sort of directionless compared to the cadets at the academy. Another thing that impressed her was the opportunities that are offered like the gliders, jumping out of airplanes and flying the small planes. She also raved about the professors she came in contact with. She said she doesn't believe she will find those activities at any other college. She will definitely have a hard time deciding, but is glad she doesn't have to make the decision today. Encourage your DD to apply anyway, she just may change her mind. Options are always good to have.
 
My kid had thought it through concerning the AFA 0r NA. Went the ROTC route at a major university. Main reason was wanting a career in the military but also wanted a college experience (not watching football games in a gym first year, being in the military day one.) Scored extremely high on every section of the AFOQT (flight simulator and military channel hours paid off I guess). SFT this summer. The choice made was the right for them and working out as planned. Friends at NA / AFA doing well but admit it is already a job for them. Full immersion from day one. For some that is the right choice for others may not be. I pushed going SA for a year or so but decided it was more important to support their choice than to force it. Some ROTC detachments are better than others. Kid picked a very competitive one.
 
Dumb question of the day: Have you asked her WHY she doesn't want to go having had such a great experience?
 
Dumb question of the day: Have you asked her WHY she doesn't want to go having had such a great experience?
We have talked to her, it seems she is giving us some gobbley-gook answers. We have decided that we will encourage her to complete the application and go from there...may be a moot point! If it comes to her having to make that decision, we will cross that bridge and help her through her concerns. If she speaks up and really is genuinely not "into" it, we will not force her!
 
Fwiw. Kids have their own logic. That doesn't mean it's bad or good. My kids are/were brats. (Military kids). They went to a few different schools and lived in a couple of different countries. My son really wanted the academy. He accepted it immediately. Money wasn't an issue because he turned down scholarships to all the other schools he applied to. Even to big name schools like Michigan State, Tulane University, and a few other distinguished universities.

My daughter on the other hand, who is older, remembered better the moving around in the military. She had excellent grades like her brother. Did the IB program also. She had the opportunity to apply and probably get accepted to the same distinguished universities. But her thing was that she didn't want to move away again. She decided not to even apply to any other school accept our local state university. She easily got accepted, and between scholarships and her becoming a resident advisor, she went to school there basically for free also.

Point is, even though I encouraged her to apply to numerous universities, including schools we talked about her whole life like MIT and others, she eventually decided that she didn't want to move away out of state, at least at that time of her life, so she only applied for state university. She did real well, graduated in 4 years, was very happy, and has a very lucrative career. At the time, it didn't make much sense for her not to apply and probably be offered some great opportunities. But in retrospect, it was her choice and with our support, she has done quite well and is happy. So as long as your child has all the opportunities they can have, it's ok if they choose something else. Financially, my daughter had the opportunity to go to just about any school in the country she wanted. She chose only to apply to our state university.

Your daughter has her reasons. As long as you encourage her to look at all her options, and to choose wisely for her, then her reasons don't have to make sense to you. My daughter was easier. She never intended to apply to a military school or career. Just support your daughter and if she ever expressed interest in the academy, then encourage her to apply. If it's never been her passion, then don't make it such a big issue. It's her life, her decision. Simply ask her what her options are so that she knows what they are and isn't overlooking something. You then will also understand her rational.
 
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