"Short" being military slang for the increasingly declining number of days you have remaining in your military contract, or in the case of Vietnam War (where the term originated) the number of days left in-country before being rotated back to the USA ("DEROS"). A few I can recall.... 1. I'm so short I can walk under a pregnant ant. 2. I'm so short I can play handball against the curb. 3. I'm so short I can sit on a nickel and dangle my feet. Any others? Unenforceable Disqualifier: No looking up "short" jokes online & posting. They must be memory based, however addled by the decades.