"Short" Jokes

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Day-Tripper, Jul 6, 2019.

  1. Day-Tripper

    Day-Tripper 5-Year Member

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    "Short" being military slang for the increasingly declining number of days you have remaining in your military contract, or in the case of Vietnam War (where the term originated) the number of days left in-country before being rotated back to the USA ("DEROS").

    A few I can recall....

    1. I'm so short I can walk under a pregnant ant.
    2. I'm so short I can play handball against the curb.
    3. I'm so short I can sit on a nickel and dangle my feet.

    Any others?

    Unenforceable Disqualifier: No looking up "short" jokes online & posting. They must be memory based, however addled by the decades.
     
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  2. Capt MJ

    Capt MJ 10-Year Member

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    Um. Are we allowing a squiggle to the side, a short-free item?
    FIIGMO. (I’m not translating.). I beg everyone’s pardon. The F does stand for Finarkle. At this time.

    First one I ever learned, popped right into my head:
    “I’m so short, my boogers are stuck in my toe jam.” Courtesy of my bosun’s mates.


    Also applicable for days until detaching from current command, separation or retirement. Close relative of “__ days and a wake-up until I’m outta here.”
     
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2019
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  3. THParent

    THParent Member

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    FUBIS (I'm not translating, either.)
     
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  4. Devil Doc

    Devil Doc Teufel Doc

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    I’m so short I can sit on the edge of my ID card and my feet won’t touch the deck.
     
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  5. USMCGrunt

    USMCGrunt 5-Year Member

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    Can't recall any "short timer" quotes. I do remember lots of hand made countdown calendars - many quite creative.

    I sure remember this phrase.
     
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  6. Devil Doc

    Devil Doc Teufel Doc

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    Ten days and eggs.
     
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  7. Devil Doc

    Devil Doc Teufel Doc

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    36F8E718-3A2E-455E-AEAF-26272464BF24.jpeg
     
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  8. AF6872

    AF6872 10-Year Member

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    FIGMO: At TECH SCHOOL after 52 weeks it was "Finally I Got My Orders". As an Instructor at the last weeks of training I read out assignments to my class before formal orders. Had one from Georgia who got Augusta and before I could continue he said he could visit home when off duty. I had to inform him that it was Augusta Maine and a long commute. His "F" changed.
     
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  9. Capt MJ

    Capt MJ 10-Year Member

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    FIGMO is definitely the more genteel version of the FIIGMO I posted.
     
  10. Twins4us

    Twins4us Member

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    Not military originated but the one I recall is I'm so short, I gotta jump up to get down...I was 4'11 3/4" my freshman year in hs. Thus, I heard quite a few short jokes.
     
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  11. Jcleppe

    Jcleppe 5-Year Member

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    When my boys were much younger we were close to leaving on a trip to Disneyland, I looked over at them and said "5 days and a wake up til Disneyland" I just got blank stares from both of them until about 10 minutes later the older one yells..."Ha, I got it"
     
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  12. NorwichDad

    NorwichDad 5-Year Member

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    Last edited: Jul 13, 2019
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  13. Old Navy BGO

    Old Navy BGO 5-Year Member

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    "He's so short he has to stand on his tip toes to scratch the belly of a pregnant snake"
     
  14. Jcleppe

    Jcleppe 5-Year Member

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