Speaking to Parents

My wife was totally against it and she still is even though in less than two weeks he gets to find out what plane he is going to fly in the Air Force. That said, both of us support him in anything he wants to do. My wife cried more (joy) during his commissioning ceremony than when he graduated. He mentioned he wanted to join AFrotc prior to leaving for school. My wife was totally against it but she knew that going against it would only push him into it so it was my job to stop him. I never told him he shouldnt do it but I did tell him he should finish freshman year and then join if interested. Of course he didnt listen and joined anyway. The thing is that we could have technically stopped him by threatening to cut off paying for his school but that is something we could never do as education always comes first. His major wasnt going to allow him to have a scholarship and honestly his grades were good but not great so he wasnt going to pay for school by going trhough Rotc. In the end, unless your parents decide to cut you off, they really have no control if you go through Rotc or not. I would try to explain to them why you want to do so and try to deal with their worries but in the end you should do what you want. Sure they have the financial means to stop you, but assuming that doesnt happen, respectly tell them what you are going to do and hope they will get on board later down the line.
 
JJ2372k said:
Hi everyone,

I was hoping to receive some advice from the parents out there. I am currently looking to pursue NROTC MO in pursuit of a commission into the Marine Corps. I am very passionate about becoming an Officer in the Corps, however, my parents are not. To the parents, what helped you to trust your child to make the decision? If you had no qualms about it, why was that, and if you were reluctant about the idea of your child joining the Corps, what helped you overcome your doubts?

Thank you very much, this is very important to me and I would greatly appreciate any advice.
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I was quite surprised (in a good way) when my oldest DS, just starting his 3rd year of college & whom had never spoken about military service, asked me to help him apply for OCS to become an Army 2nd lieutenant after graduation.

I was former Marine Corps, enlisted, but never pushed any of my kids to enlist. The wife wouldn't have been happy if I did. And I didn't want to be one of those dads who make their kids a carbon copy of themselves.

At the end of the day, it's your life & a lot of 18 year olds have made far worse decisions than opting to serve in the Marines. Though not all people might agree. It seems your parents fall into this category.

My motivation wasn't to "serve" - it was to be a badass. I was thinking about enlisting in the Army after high school. My father had me speak to a friend whom been in the Army in Vietnam. He said the Army was a good choice, particularly in peace time, but advised me to stay away from the Marines. "They're just a bunch of killers." he said. I nodded but he had unknowingly made my decision final - Semper Fi! I was at the USMC recruiter the next day. Not politically correct, but a true story.

P.S. Is Annapolis a consideration?
 
Day-Tripper said:
JJ2372k said:
Hi everyone,

I was hoping to receive some advice from the parents out there. I am currently looking to pursue NROTC MO in pursuit of a commission into the Marine Corps. I am very passionate about becoming an Officer in the Corps, however, my parents are not. To the parents, what helped you to trust your child to make the decision? If you had no qualms about it, why was that, and if you were reluctant about the idea of your child joining the Corps, what helped you overcome your doubts?

Thank you very much, this is very important to me and I would greatly appreciate any advice.
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I was quite surprised (in a good way) when my oldest DS, just starting his 3rd year of college & whom had never spoken about military service, asked me to help him apply for OCS to become an Army 2nd lieutenant after graduation.

I was former Marine Corps, enlisted, but never pushed any of my kids to enlist. The wife wouldn't have been happy if I did. And I didn't want to be one of those dads who make their kids a carbon copy of themselves.

At the end of the day, it's your life & a lot of 18 year olds have made far worse decisions than opting to serve in the Marines. Though not all people might agree. It seems your parents fall into this category.

My motivation wasn't to "serve" - it was to be a badass. I was thinking about enlisting in the Army after high school. My father had me speak to a friend whom been in the Army in Vietnam. He said the Army was a good choice, particularly in peace time, but advised me to stay away from the Marines. "They're just a bunch of killers." he said. I nodded but he had unknowingly made my decision final - Semper Fi! I was at the USMC recruiter the next day. Not politically correct, but a true story.

P.S. Is Annapolis a consideration?
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Regarding Annapolis, I gave it some thought, but realized ROTC fit me better than a service academy, experience wise
 
Hey guys, unfortunately I don’t think I will be able to apply this year as I will need parental consent for parts of the application. I plan on applying for the sideload my freshman year. Thanks for the advice
 
Go for it. When you become 18 you will be 100% in control of your own life. But are you sure they won’t sign the papers? At least ask them. A Marine must be brave!

When my father enlisted in the Navy during WWII, he was under age. The only reason my grandmother - - who was against him enlisting - - signed the papers is that my father was so skinny (6’2” 137lbs) that she thought they wouldn’t take him. They did.
 
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NJROTC-CC said:
Go for it. When you become 18 you will be 100% in control of your own life. But are you sure they won’t sign the papers? At least ask them. A Marine must be brave!

When my father enlisted in the Navy during WWII, he was under age. The only reason my grandmother - - who was against him enlisting - - signed the papers is that my father was so skinny (6’2” 137lbs) that she thought they wouldn’t take him. They did.
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Haha... I have been asking... to the point of them threatening to disown me. It’s a tough situation. I don’t expect them to support me, ever, I just was hoping to apply for the scholarship at least. I’ve been working hard for years, I suppose another year won’t hurt
 
@JJ2372k - I can't remember the application details fully but my suggestion is to get them to agree to let you apply and see if you get it before having to make the go/no go decision. You may be worried about something you need not worry about. You can always turn it down, they may change their mind, or you turn 18 and make your own decision.
 
Since things have gotten to this point one might consider reminding them that when you turn 18 you will be legally able to do this without their permission. I wouldn't do this in a challenging way but more akin to pointing out a fact.

In out house Mom didn't want DS to go into the military. He had been planning on enlisting with some buddies. There was plenty of arguing about it. I would privately remind my bride that he would be 18 when he completed high school and she would be unable to stop him. It took a while but she came around on the proviso that he he do college first, and become an officer. That's when the NROTC application got started. And today his Mom is so proud of her Marine son.

If you gently remind your folks of this perhaps they'll come around, but I'm sure it will take time.
 
Not sure if I’m actually offering anything helpful here, but have the resistant parents (I gather it’s moved beyond reluctant) talked to a Marine recruiter? When someone applies for Annapolis the process often begins with a BGO (USNA recruiter) coming to speak to the family and answering questions. I realize NROTC didn’t have the same thing. But maybe you could find a Marine willing to do this? I guarantee your parents will listen. Even you may learn something from hearing their questions and/or the Marine answers.
 
What is their objection? Are they against the Military in general? If you care to share, you might get some good advice about how to respond to them. There are really good, seasoned people here who have probably already dealt with whatever their specific objection is.

Visiting with a recruiter is a REALLY good idea, imo. This is their job! They will have answers for your parents objections.

Im also curious: are you an only child? If not, what’s your birth order? That could play into their objections.

Hopefully it’s not just an ‘argument’ now, where no one is actually listening. That can happen in conflict. A 3rd person (recruiter) can help moderate if that’s where your at.

Bless you for your passion!!
 
justdoit19 said:
What is their objection? Are they against the Military in general? If you care to share, you might get some good advice about how to respond to them. There are really good, seasoned people here who have probably already dealt with whatever their specific objection is.

Visiting with a recruiter is a REALLY good idea, imo. This is their job! They will have answers for your parents objections.

Im also curious: are you an only child? If not, what’s your birth order? That could play into their objections.

Hopefully it’s not just an ‘argument’ now, where no one is actually listening. That can happen in conflict. A 3rd person (recruiter) can help moderate if that’s where your at.

Bless you for your passion!!
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It's my experience that this isn't something that you can reason with. It's an emotional issue for most. "My DD or DS could get seriously injured, maimed, or killed." Generally there are no reasons one can give to take that fear away. Since it's an emotional issue it takes similar arguments and time for them to get used to the idea, if they can. But who knows? Perhaps facts from a recruiter can do the trick.
 
justdoit19 said:
What is their objection? Are they against the Military in general? If you care to share, you might get some good advice about how to respond to them. There are really good, seasoned people here who have probably already dealt with whatever their specific objection is.

Visiting with a recruiter is a REALLY good idea, imo. This is their job! They will have answers for your parents objections.

Im also curious: are you an only child? If not, what’s your birth order? That could play into their objections.

Hopefully it’s not just an ‘argument’ now, where no one is actually listening. That can happen in conflict. A 3rd person (recruiter) can help moderate if that’s where your at.

Bless you for your passion!!
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As Kinnem said, it really is just a fear of what could happen, and to be quite frank, the intangibles of honor and giving back to my country don’t intermingle with their values too much. And I am the oldest of 4, so they also don’t want my siblings looking at me thinking the military is okay. I will hopefully be able to have a sit down with my Coordinating Officer, it is the next step.
 
In my case, many years ago, my parents’ objection was that they did not think a military career matched their definition of “success.” In their minds, success was almost entirely based on how much money one made. And, what they didn’t seem to get was that serving in the military was not going to necessarily be a lifelong career for me. It was just something i wanted to try out for a while and i wanted to serve my country.

Maybe your parents have other dreams for you too. You can try to explain that serving for while does not mean a life sentence.
 
Will you be 18 before the official deadline to apply? My daughter sent in her application 2 days before the deadline and received the 4 yr NROTC scholarship. She just finished her first year and is very happy with her decision. Over the last few weeks she’s been on a ship, a submarine, a helicopter and soon a jet. What a great experience! As a bonus she’s attending her dream school. Her sister is attending dental school on a Navy scholarship. Another sister lives in NYC. I worry about each of them. However, my role as helicopter parent has ended and l am excited to see what they choose for themselves. Best of luck to you.
 
@JJ2372k ,

I don't really have much to add. My wife and I didn't even know our son applied for the Army ROTC 4yr scholarship until after he received it. We didn't have much to say other than to remind him of the 8-9 years of obligation to what can seem like an arbitrary institution. He didn't join in order to defend the constitution. He joined because of all the opportunities that he could take advantage of during college and after commissioning, and happily assumes the obligations there of. (@Nomad91 hit he nail on the head.) No one who knew my son would have ever pegged him to be a soldier. He is almost 4 years into his Active Duty obligation and he has just signed up for what would probably be a minimum of another 4 when it's all said and done.

Everything I know about NROTC-MO I know from @kinnem , so results may vary. What I can add is that there are few places other than the military where a fresh faced college graduate can walk from the graduation stage into a full time good paying job with a full, generous slate of benefits and (most important) the immediate opportunity to manage people and really expensive equipment. That is something your parents cannot refute.

Wish you the best of luck!
 
JJ2372k said:
Hey guys, unfortunately I don’t think I will be able to apply this year as I will need parental consent for parts of the application. I plan on applying for the sideload my freshman year. Thanks for the advice
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Don't forget the Army has way more scholarships than Marine Corps. Lots more funding. Available at far more colleges too. Just saying.
 
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