Hi,
So I just left USMA a few weeks back, considering all those seemingly considering outprocessing, especially those not yet at affirmation, I thought this might help someone somewhere down the line.
Since freshman year, USMA was #1 on my list. It was my dream, and I was tremendously proud of myself when I got in. I worked hard to prepare, sweated the small stuff, and missed little going into R-Day. I was sure of myself, insofar as that’s possible at this age. But when I got started, it felt off. I was bad at it, but plenty of people are, especially those without experience. The military seemed horrible, and I wanted out. Beast felt like 6 weeks of pure panic, and I didn’t think I could cope. I shook myself out of it. I wasn’t going to give up that easily. I stuck it out through Beast.
Things got better. The Academic Year gave me better opportunities to fix myself and learn, and I found things I enjoyed. Fortunately, in using these resources such as CPD and BH, I found out that what I had considered stressful moments were panic attacks. I had thought of myself as soft for months, and this revelation helped me actualize the problem and try and fix it. However, with that came some time in a dark place, and I began to consider leaving. I felt stagnant and that treatment wasn’t working. Maybe the military isnt right for me.
As I discussed it with family, friends, and mentors, I made a pact that I would not leave without a solid plan. So I set to work. Eventually, COVID times hit, and we all go home. I spend that time evaluating my options, and surprise! A shot in an awesome program in an awesome school.
But was the decision ready? Did I really want to leave?
Here I struggled for a long time. I felt there were certainly things I could do for the military, and in the end, I just wanted to do what’s right. Would leaving be selfish? What’s best for the Army here, the country, and what’s best for me? Tough ask. What I’ve come to believe is that there are multiple ways to serve your community, country, and fellow man, and many different ways to do any given thing and that some paths are better for some people. And a couple months ago, I made the decision. It’s not my path, and I’d pursue another way to “help”.
And now, a full year after first considering it, I am at peace with that decision. I wholeheartedly believe that if I had made a choice sooner, without using my resources, without exhausting my options, without a good backup plan, I would have had far more regrets then I am having now. So for those of you considering leaving this grand opportunity, my advice to you is this:
Give it time, think it through, have a plan. Lean on others when you have to, and be critical of your impulses. Because yes, some things aren’t for everyone. West Point certainly isn’t. But whether it is for you or not is a big decision, and what else to do is an even bigger one. Consider it all, and you’ll respect yourself at the end of the day, regardless of choice. Hope this helps.
So I just left USMA a few weeks back, considering all those seemingly considering outprocessing, especially those not yet at affirmation, I thought this might help someone somewhere down the line.
Since freshman year, USMA was #1 on my list. It was my dream, and I was tremendously proud of myself when I got in. I worked hard to prepare, sweated the small stuff, and missed little going into R-Day. I was sure of myself, insofar as that’s possible at this age. But when I got started, it felt off. I was bad at it, but plenty of people are, especially those without experience. The military seemed horrible, and I wanted out. Beast felt like 6 weeks of pure panic, and I didn’t think I could cope. I shook myself out of it. I wasn’t going to give up that easily. I stuck it out through Beast.
Things got better. The Academic Year gave me better opportunities to fix myself and learn, and I found things I enjoyed. Fortunately, in using these resources such as CPD and BH, I found out that what I had considered stressful moments were panic attacks. I had thought of myself as soft for months, and this revelation helped me actualize the problem and try and fix it. However, with that came some time in a dark place, and I began to consider leaving. I felt stagnant and that treatment wasn’t working. Maybe the military isnt right for me.
As I discussed it with family, friends, and mentors, I made a pact that I would not leave without a solid plan. So I set to work. Eventually, COVID times hit, and we all go home. I spend that time evaluating my options, and surprise! A shot in an awesome program in an awesome school.
But was the decision ready? Did I really want to leave?
Here I struggled for a long time. I felt there were certainly things I could do for the military, and in the end, I just wanted to do what’s right. Would leaving be selfish? What’s best for the Army here, the country, and what’s best for me? Tough ask. What I’ve come to believe is that there are multiple ways to serve your community, country, and fellow man, and many different ways to do any given thing and that some paths are better for some people. And a couple months ago, I made the decision. It’s not my path, and I’d pursue another way to “help”.
And now, a full year after first considering it, I am at peace with that decision. I wholeheartedly believe that if I had made a choice sooner, without using my resources, without exhausting my options, without a good backup plan, I would have had far more regrets then I am having now. So for those of you considering leaving this grand opportunity, my advice to you is this:
Give it time, think it through, have a plan. Lean on others when you have to, and be critical of your impulses. Because yes, some things aren’t for everyone. West Point certainly isn’t. But whether it is for you or not is a big decision, and what else to do is an even bigger one. Consider it all, and you’ll respect yourself at the end of the day, regardless of choice. Hope this helps.
