What else should I be doing to get an appointment if my parents are opposed to me attending the CGA?

Discussion in 'Coast Guard Academy - USCGA' started by bcfencing, Jan 2, 2017.

  1. bcfencing

    bcfencing New Member

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    Thanks for your advice on the PFE. The running is the part that comes most easily to me anyway, as I ran cross-country way back in middle school. I'll continue to improve my upper body/core strength to max or get close to max on the sit ups and push ups.

    As for my parents, I'll do my best to educate them about the Coast Guard Academy. If we can't visit it in person, I will definitely show them the website and some of the videos on it that I feel give a really good representation of the academy. It's just so hard to help them understand that this is what I feel is best for me!
     
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  2. bcfencing

    bcfencing New Member

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    Thank you. I will keep that in mind when talking to them and throughout the whole application process.
     
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  3. LineInTheSand

    LineInTheSand USCGA 2006 5-Year Member

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  4. JustABill1775

    JustABill1775 Member

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    Coast Guard doesn't "kill" anyone, if anything they save more lives and police water, less than 1% of the US military is combat arms. Don't let your parents discourage you. Do what you want, trust me you wont regret it. Keep high school grades up, its easy just budget time
     
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  5. LineInTheSand

    LineInTheSand USCGA 2006 5-Year Member

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    Just to be clear, the Coast Guard doesn't typically kill anyone, however the guns aren't to make hugging more comfortable for all involved...
     
  6. rtp9799

    rtp9799 Member

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  7. Tmamon

    Tmamon Member

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  8. 5Day

    5Day Member

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    You can attend Boys State between your HS Junior and Senior year. It will improve your leadership score.
     
  9. bluenoseshellback

    bluenoseshellback 5-Year Member

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    I'm a CGA grad who is past my 5 year commitment. Originally my parents (and their friends) were against me going to a SA. They got over it and now have CG stuff plastered all over their cars. :rolleyes:

    I turned 18 prior to R Day so at first that's how they accepted me going there. Things they realized after the fact that made them love the decision:

    * They didn't after worry about me partying during the week or skipping classes.

    * I had a good job post graduation and wasn't going to move back in with them.

    Another thing, not everyone in the CG carries guns. I've never qualified at the range and given my current career path am unlikely to do so. In fact not many officers do so past their first couple of years.

    My parents earlier fears about the military have turned into fears that I'll move to Alaska and never come back. They do have a point with that one though...
     
  10. AuxNoob

    AuxNoob CGA Admissions Partner 5-Year Member

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    It might be worth reading some of the cadet blog entries on the Academy website, if you haven't already. If possible, get your parents to read them as well (I realize this may not be realistic).

    That said, as a parent of a cadet, and one whose wife had many of the same concerns that your mom has, please feel free to PM me.
     
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  11. bcfencing

    bcfencing New Member

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    I've read some of them, maybe I'll eventually get my parents to read them as well. Right now though, my parents are trying to avoid conversations about the CGA until I research and look at some civilian schools, in the hopes that I'll give up this idea, which is not going to happen, unfortunately for them.
     
  12. 5Day

    5Day Member

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    Listen to your parents and investigate civilian schools. At a minimum you may need a civilian school as your backup plan since all of the SA are competitive. Go through the process with an open mind. Who knows you may actually find a school that is better for you than CGA.
     
  13. Hiker2021

    Hiker2021 New Member

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    Hi BCFencing.
    I was your mom in a sense. We are not a military family, but my son had always been interested in the military. When my other kids would turn on Sponge Bob, I would catch my son watching Practical to Tactical or some other program on the Military channel. But I never gave this much thought. My son (of course in my eyes) is amazing. He was raised in the church and participated in 5 international missions programs, volunteered in local missions, was a leader in his school. I thought for sure I was raising a missionary. I was encouraging med school so he could work with Doctors w/o Boarders. In grade 9 I read a text he sent to his brother expressing interest in the Air Force. I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I literally had to sit down. In that moment I could see his future and it was nothing I would have chosen for him. I convinced myself that it was a passing phase. I was so wrong. He began discussing it with others, became laser focused and here we are today with an appointment to USAFA. I tell you all of this b/c I hope you can understand that your mother's emotions are based on the strongest most powerful love for you. Be gentle. Be mature. Don't give up your dream. My faith has brought me to a place of peace about my son's choice for his future. My son needed to be able to answer a lot of tough questions from me. I pray his faith is guiding him. If you want your mom to respect this choice, you need to be sure she sees you as an adult which means behaving NOT as a typical hs student. By all means investigate all options. My son applied to 10 schools and visited everyone. We visited the last two after the appointment came through. It was almost as if he was entertaining me b/c he promised to consider all options - but he had already obtained the dream. Your mom is right. Your brain, specifically the part that is responsible for good judgement, is not fully developed until your early 20s (maybe I'm on FB with your mom:). You need to show her that regardless, you are mature - you make good decisions. Gain her trust. But most of all - be gentle - after all she loves you more than you can possibly imagine.
     
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  14. seacadetmum

    seacadetmum Member

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    Your parent's emotions may be based in love but they are also completely false. I really don't understand the idea of standing in your child's way when they have a goal like this. Someone mentioned in another thread, does she understand then when your 18 she doesn't get to control you anymore? It sounds like she's used to being "in charge" and this something completely out of her control. My advice to her would be to buckle up because once you turn 18 you can do what you want, does she want to have a great relationship with her adult child or cause estrangement?

    You are a sophomore, I would keep plugging along. You said you have a cousin in USAFA, can their mom or dad talk to your parents about the experience? Luckily you have a couple more years to get them on board!

    BTW as a pediatric nurse I get really itchy when people pull the "oh your brain isn't developed". I've met 14 year olds making end of life decisions for themselves, 16 year old mothers who are better parents then some 40 year old women, and then you have the mom who not only is 16 but making end of life decisions for her baby. I think it's offensive and a cop out when someone can't think of another reason to tell a teenager no about something.

    Keep making good decisions, stay out of trouble, do some pushups, and take any leadership opportunities you can. Even if she completely blocks you, you can still use your excellent resume to get into plenty of prestigious 4 year universities.
     
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  15. bopper

    bopper New Member

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    I would say that your mother's concerns border on paranoid and that is in your best interest to get out of under her control ASAP.
    Your father is enmeshed with her but if he is open to signing, I would do that and not be so concerned about causing a rift...You seem like a nice normal kid but your mother seems personality disordered and is trying to keep control/power over you. You can't use the same tactics that you would with a "normal" mom...You need to look out for yourself and gain independence. Otherwise it will be "We'll only pay for school near home" and "We won't pay for you to stay in a dorm". You may think I seem like I am overstating things but I have read many many stories of people on line with disordered parents and your parents fit the mold. Your Dad isn't saying anything because he doesn't want to fight your mother but that is his choice...it doesn't need to be yours.
    Tell him that you respect his choice, but he needs to let you make yours because once you are 18 you will be making it anyway and he needs to let you be free. He needs to stand up for you even if he can't stand up for himself.

    I am not saying that parents shouldn't guide their kids or make sure they really understand what they are getting into, but there is a point when you are going beyond that into toxicity.
     
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