Disillusioned student here looking for advice.
When I first found out about USMMA, I thought my dream job would be working on a ship. I still think it's pretty cool, the travel and adventure is definitely appealing. But now that I'm here I've sort of stopped romanticizing things. In all honesty, the lifestyle of always being going and never being home anywhere for more than a few months now scares the absolute heck out of me. I kind of want stability later in my life. I'm a deckie, not an engineer, so shoreside employment would definitely be pretty limited if I stayed through. But at the same time, I'm afraid these feelings might be temporary and if I quit I'll regret it for a long time. Can anyone who might've had similar feelings offer some advice? Could I just be experiencing a weird form of home sickness, or are these feelings a legitimate enough reason to transfer out?
Something I haven't seen addressed yet. It would likely do you a world of good to evaluate what, specifically, about your goals is motivating and appealing for you. I mean specific, tangible factors, not your dream. (Dreams vaporize in adversity.) Try to identify why your dream job was working on a ship. What specific personal goals did it fulfill for you? Was it (just) the romance of visiting exotic ports of call? The good salary and future in the field? Are you someone who thrives on change and newness? Whatever your reasons, spend some time getting crystal clear about those. Same for medicine. Consider your personal values - what matters to you, not what you THINK should matter. Is it service? If so, how do your career choices fulfill this personal value? Was it bravery? Loyalty? Intelligence or integrity? The clearer a picture you can develop for yourself about how your future goals help you become more fully YOU, the more likely are those goals, whatever they are, to carry you through the adversity of the next four years, whether that's USMMA or State U.
What I can also say is that almost every college freshman is, or soon will be, in your shoes. You're 17-19, a young adult for sure - but you have probably not been away from home and completely, totally on your own. The bubble is gone. Add to that the massive, major "interruption" to your easygoing routine that is a life at a service academy (and not even as a plebe yet, correct??), and you would be completely nuts
not to ask, "What the hell am I doing? Here?" One of the most valuable things a young person can learn is how to
have an emotion, but not
inhabit it. All I mean by that is, you can
be upset about a test score without firing off a snarky email to your professor. (I am not saying you did or would, just giving an example to illustrate.) Similarly, you can
be surprised and disgruntled and dejected and uncertain, without having to act on those emotions
right now. This is what everyone means when they say, never leave on a bad day.
You bring up possible regrets and I think you're showing a lot of personal insight to do so. That practice (looking inside yourself) will serve you very well in your future, whatever it may be. But you're also very, very early in the game. Very few of your peers have any real idea what they'll do after four years and 300(+) sea days, and it's completely normal for you not to know how life in four years is going to look.
In the short term, you're committed for a year now. Also, if you change your mind about USMMA, the courses you take this year are mostly transferrable and will be important to your pre-health curriculum requirements. Why not stay for a year? Why not see what you're capable of, while formulating a clear set of personal goals and the clear plan to advance toward them?