Seriously struggling with decision to accept appointment

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babamort

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Hello everyone, I'd like to preface this by saying I would seriously appreciate anyone taking the time to give advice or a new perspective on my situation. This will be the biggest decision I've ever made and I'm hoping that some input will help me stop stressing out. It's going to be a really long post, but try to stick with me. Thank you in advance.

I received an appointment to USAFA about three weeks ago and was initially really excited. However, after countless hours of research, attending the appointee tour yesterday (4/8), and talking one-on-one with numerous grads and current cadets (firsties and doolies), I'm seriously questioning my motives for applying and whether it's the right place for me. A bit about where I'm at: I'm currently attending my second semester at local regional university with a full-ride after graduating high school a year early. I took full advantage of concurrent enrollment and will be finishing an associate's in aviation science this semester with 93 credits. This is the easy route for me; my parents work here so I'd get tuition waived regardless of my scholarship. I've really enjoyed it so far.

The only other school I applied to was USAFA. I did so because I liked the idea of a challenge, I wanted the personal growth and leadership that came with the experiences, and I really wanted to fly for the Air Force and participate in the airmanship programs. I started an application with USNA but decided I'd much rather go to USAFA for numerous reasons that I won't get into here. Prestige never really mattered to me; I've been totally satisfied with the education I've received at my relatively unknown university, and while I know that the opportunities for research and access to technology at the academy are unparalleled, I don't see how the actual quality of academics would change. Anyway, I think it's important to note that I didn't mention wanting to become an officer as a reason for applying, which brings me to my dilemma.

During the application process, I always mentioned ROTC as my backup plan, but I never ended up finishing my application for that. Honestly, it never really appealed to me; my education was already paid for, and it seemed much harder to get a pilot slot out of the program. But the fact that I'm not in/interested in ROTC seriously worries me. Everybody on here says that the academy should not be the goal, but rather a means of achieving something after. And that something is becoming an officer and serving. After a lot of reflecting, I feel like I'm much more interested in taking advantage of the opportunities at the academy rather than the idea of becoming an officer. I'm certainly not opposed to it, but given the choice between the exact same job in the military vs. as a civilian, I'd take doing it as a civilian.

Since finishing my application five months ago, I've reflected on my ethics and values and decided that I don't think flying on the front lines is for me. My family is the polar opposite of a military family, and both of my parents really value the ethics of their jobs as professors. While I have massive respect for our nation's veterans, I don't think I could live with having to drop bombs and intentionally killing other people, which limits my careers to non-combat roles. It sounds crazy to change goals like that, but I think my passion for military aviation and aviation in general has always overshadowed my values until the idea of going to pilot training became all too real. Anyway, I don't really know what I want to do long-term now. Since deciding on this, I've realized I no longer have an ultimate goal to achieve after the academy, or at least one that would be more difficult to achieve through other means (I originally wanted UPT or ENJJPT). In fact, I could now double major in physics and mechanical engineering at my current university (which would be my plan), and graduate nearly two years before I'd graduate from the academy because of all the credits I already have. If I wanted to become an officer, I could join ROTC while doing that and become the same second lieutenant I'd be if I graduated the academy, except two years earlier and without the service requirement because I wouldn't need a scholarship. Furthermore, my university has a fantastic flight training program and I'm lucky enough to have access to a college fund that could pay for it if I decided to do that as well. This perspective really makes me think that I should just keep doing what I'm already doing. After all, I know someone out there is praying for an appointment and might not have the alternative that I do.

However, both myself and my parents recognize the incredible opportunities the academy has to offer that I wouldn't be able to get anywhere else. My dad thinks I should take this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and give it a shot. If I left, my tuition waiver would always be there for me back home. The amount of character improvement and personal development I'd go through would be unreal, and it sounds amazing to me. But the academy isn't a walk in the park. I know I'd need a whole lot more than just a "give it a shot" mindset to get through four years of life at the academy. And with no real goal that the academy would uniquely allow me to achieve, I'd just be there just for the sake of being there, for the experience, for the character building. I'm unsure whether or not I'd be able to get through it given the fact that I could leave and graduate way quicker while having much more fun and freedom at my current university. The military part of it just doesn't get me all that excited. When I look at the potential class schedule I'd have lined up if I stayed home, I get excited. But I also get excited thinking about the airmanship classes, study abroad opportunities, research programs, and camaraderie at the academy. I place a huge emphasis on the value of relationships in my life and if there's one place that will form lifelong bonds, it's the service academies.

People have told me that I got in for a reason, that the Air Force and my interviewers saw something in me. I got two congressional nominations, and I'm proud of it. But I have a 35 ACT, 3.99 HS GPA, and 93 college credits with a 4.0. Part of me feels like I got in because of my academics alone, and for a place like the academy, I'd much rather have the unwavering motivation to graduate and become an officer in the Air Force over a slight advantage in academics. But the other part of me knows that graduating from USAFA would be one of the greatest achievements in my life, and I'd be immensely proud of it. I certainly wouldn't be as proud if I graduated from my current university.

I could go on and on, but I'll spare you guys. If it isn't obvious yet, I'm a really indecisive person and my thoughts on this have ping-ponged back and forth way to many times, but I think I've done a decent job summarizing the never-ending river of thoughts that has been flowing through my head over the last three weeks. Honestly, I'm worried that if I decline, I'll regret it for the rest of my life. I came here because I know most of you have been through it; you guys know who succeeds and who fails at the academy through experience. While none of you know me personally, I'm hoping that I've provided enough insight into my thoughts and motives. And seriously, thank you so much for reading this mess of a post. Any advice would mean the world to me.
 
You have laid out everything well and thoroughly, and I appreciate your excellent standard written English prose.

You entered on the journey of the USAFA application, and you learned about service, the military, the service academy, what you might be called on to do. Now that you know more, you realize it might not be a fit for you.

After reading everything you wrote, my gut feel is you do not want the part of the service academy deal that involves the “after” life as a uniformed officer, leader and military warrior. There is nothing wrong with that.

For people who attend service academies, they really have to know their “why.” That’s what gets them through the 4-year pressure cooker of “embracing the suck.” Your “why” is tenuous and is centered on the unique richness of the SA experience and doesn’t extend strongly to the path it prepares you for. Again, there is nothing wrong with that.

No doubt you are aware you can attend the first two years and walk away without any obligation. It’s designed to recognize there are people who realize service is an officer is not for them. You could certainly accept, attend, keep an open mind, and avoid the “what if” if you turned the appointment down now. People attend service academies for all kinds of reasons but perhaps are not as open about it, if it’s not the expected patriotic rhetoric. The point is to serve honorably. If there are Air Force officer career fields that interest you, that could be part of a reasonable “why.”

You chose not to pursue the AFROTC route, a viable and respected route to a commission. Think about that some more, the “why not” as compared to USAFA.

I am not going to tell you what to do. You have done a lot of thinking. Your brain, heart and gut have to align. Clearly you have the academic abilities to succeed in any number of settings.
 
I will strongly second Capt MJ's outstanding response. Here are a few of my thoughts particularly responding to some things you wrote.
babamort said:
After a lot of reflecting, I feel like I'm much more interested in taking advantage of the opportunities at the academy rather than the idea of becoming an officer. I'm certainly not opposed to it, but given the choice between the exact same job in the military vs. as a civilian, I'd take doing it as a civilian.

Since finishing my application five months ago, I've reflected on my ethics and values and decided that I don't think flying on the front lines is for me. . . . I don't think I could live with having to drop bombs and intentionally killing other people, which limits my careers to non-combat roles.
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Others may disagree, but this is a hard-stop for me. Unless you are training to be a chaplain or medic, the possibility of being on the "front lines" with the purpose of lethally defeating an enemy must always be something you could live with. You may or may not be a trigger-puller, but you are definitely aiding and abetting those who are if you aren't. If you're not prepared to do that, then you shouldn't, but IMO that means the military -- again, unless you are thinking chaplain or medic -- really isn't for you. Others might disagree, but that's how I see it.
babamort said:
If I wanted to become an officer, I could join ROTC while doing that and become the same second lieutenant I'd be if I graduated the academy, except two years earlier and without the service requirement because I wouldn't need a scholarship. Furthermore, my university has a fantastic flight training program and I'm lucky enough to have access to a college fund that could pay for it if I decided to do that as well.

However, both myself and my parents recognize the incredible opportunities the academy has to offer that I wouldn't be able to get anywhere else. My dad thinks I should take this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and give it a shot. If I left, my tuition waiver would always be there for me back home. The amount of character improvement and personal development I'd go through would be unreal, and it sounds amazing to me. . . . And with no real goal that the academy would uniquely allow me to achieve, I'd just be there just for the sake of being there, for the experience, for the character building. . . . The military part of it just doesn't get me all that excited. When I look at the potential class schedule I'd have lined up if I stayed home, I get excited. But I also get excited thinking about the airmanship classes, study abroad opportunities, research programs, and camaraderie at the academy. I place a huge emphasis on the value of relationships in my life and if there's one place that will form lifelong bonds, it's the service academies.
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Commissioning from any ROTC program, with or without a scholarship, entails a service requirement. With the Air Force, it is almost always active duty. (With the Navy it always is; with the Army, a good number go straight into the reserve components, but most also go active duty.) So if you accept a commission, the overwhelming likelihood is that there will be active service required.

As for the rest of what you wrote (bolded), I think you can achieve those things in other places than the Air Force Academy. Your academics are obviously first-rate, so why not aspire to a top-notch graduate program, for example? And there are a multitude of non-military service opportunities that build character. For example, a good friend of mine in the federal judiciary began his post-college life in the Peace Corps. TBH, that seems a lot harder to me in some respects than the military. The point is, going to a SA is a fine way to build character and lifelong relationships, but it's certainly not the only way. And there are a multitude of places that offer as good or better educational opportunities, particularly at the graduate level, than the SAs do.

Good luck!
 
First, well laid out thought process, so here are a couple of thoughts......

1. There is no path to Chaplain or medic via USAFA (to the best of my knowledge). There is med school, but that is open to very few and they are on a pre-med (think biochem majors) not engineering/physics track.

2. There is no guarantee you would be a pilot. Those ebb and flow with the times and an injury or unknown pre-existing condition could easily preclude you from flying. Very few officers fly every assignment. Nearly all will have assignments outside of the cockpit, and in reality, there is very little actual flying done in the AF. Lots of briefings, office work, PME (professional military education), staff summary sheets, etc. As a reference point, my biggest flying year in the AF was just under 500 hours for the year, most were in the 300-hour range. In my current civilian world, I fly 850 hours/year. If you want to be a pilot, especially one that doesn't put warheads on foreheads, the civilian route is a far quicker, simpler, more sure thing with much more actual flying.

3. The job of every Air Force Officer is to break things and kill people, either directly as a trigger puller or in a support role. I would argue the Chaplains are a vital part of that providing comfort and advice.

4. There is no right or wrong answer and, under no circumstances, should you second guess your decision, that is a sure way to unhappiness.

5. When in doubt, there is no doubt. Welcome to the world of adulting.....
 
My initial STRONG gut reaction to what you posted, which sounds intelligent, thought out, introspective, and researched, is the same as others have already posted.

One thing I’ll add, is that you do have two years to attend, to decide if it’s your calling or not. And not everyone feels a strong calling to military from the git go. My guys weren’t from a military background, and didn’t have a dream of being a soldier since a young age. But they were open to it, attended USNA and found their calling.

Sometimes we have to ‘just make a choice’ in life, and go all in. Not looking back. There is nothing wrong with saying yes, OR no. You will succeed whichever path you take. This is YOUR choice. And YOUR decision.

Good luck to you!!
 
I’m going to take a bit of an opposing view and say that I think you should go. As much as we want to say our almost-academy students are adults, you are young. You are young and, from my interpretation of your post, you occupy a bit of a bubble. That isn’t meant to be derogatory - bubbles are safe, known, and in some ways, homogeneous. I now live in kind of a bubble myself. You were raised by two professors at the university you now attend in the same location where you grew up. I think you could use some additional life perspective, which will be harder to obtain by staying put. I think your father thinks so too. Go to the Academy. Do your best there. Take advantage of all opportunities that interest you. See what your views are in a year or maybe two. You can always go back to where you are now, with free tuition in place. This is likely your single opportunity to attend the USAFA. I feel like you’re a bit scared of straying from your comfortable path (no knocks - the comfortable path was built by the hard work you and your parents have put in). It’s understandable and okay to be nervous about the unknown. Take the leap and see if it’s the right fit or not.
 
babamort said:
Hello everyone, I'd like to preface this by saying I would seriously appreciate anyone taking the time to give advice or a new perspective on my situation. This will be the biggest decision I've ever made and I'm hoping that some input will help me stop stressing out. It's going to be a really long post, but try to stick with me. Thank you in advance.

I received an appointment to USAFA about three weeks ago and was initially really excited. However, after countless hours of research, attending the appointee tour yesterday (4/8), and talking one-on-one with numerous grads and current cadets (firsties and doolies), I'm seriously questioning my motives for applying and whether it's the right place for me. A bit about where I'm at: I'm currently attending my second semester at local regional university with a full-ride after graduating high school a year early. I took full advantage of concurrent enrollment and will be finishing an associate's in aviation science this semester with 93 credits. This is the easy route for me; my parents work here so I'd get tuition waived regardless of my scholarship. I've really enjoyed it so far.

The only other school I applied to was USAFA. I did so because I liked the idea of a challenge, I wanted the personal growth and leadership that came with the experiences, and I really wanted to fly for the Air Force and participate in the airmanship programs. I started an application with USNA but decided I'd much rather go to USAFA for numerous reasons that I won't get into here. Prestige never really mattered to me; I've been totally satisfied with the education I've received at my relatively unknown university, and while I know that the opportunities for research and access to technology at the academy are unparalleled, I don't see how the actual quality of academics would change. Anyway, I think it's important to note that I didn't mention wanting to become an officer as a reason for applying, which brings me to my dilemma.

During the application process, I always mentioned ROTC as my backup plan, but I never ended up finishing my application for that. Honestly, it never really appealed to me; my education was already paid for, and it seemed much harder to get a pilot slot out of the program. But the fact that I'm not in/interested in ROTC seriously worries me. Everybody on here says that the academy should not be the goal, but rather a means of achieving something after. And that something is becoming an officer and serving. After a lot of reflecting, I feel like I'm much more interested in taking advantage of the opportunities at the academy rather than the idea of becoming an officer. I'm certainly not opposed to it, but given the choice between the exact same job in the military vs. as a civilian, I'd take doing it as a civilian.

Since finishing my application five months ago, I've reflected on my ethics and values and decided that I don't think flying on the front lines is for me. My family is the polar opposite of a military family, and both of my parents really value the ethics of their jobs as professors. While I have massive respect for our nation's veterans, I don't think I could live with having to drop bombs and intentionally killing other people, which limits my careers to non-combat roles. It sounds crazy to change goals like that, but I think my passion for military aviation and aviation in general has always overshadowed my values until the idea of going to pilot training became all too real. Anyway, I don't really know what I want to do long-term now. Since deciding on this, I've realized I no longer have an ultimate goal to achieve after the academy, or at least one that would be more difficult to achieve through other means (I originally wanted UPT or ENJJPT). In fact, I could now double major in physics and mechanical engineering at my current university (which would be my plan), and graduate nearly two years before I'd graduate from the academy because of all the credits I already have. If I wanted to become an officer, I could join ROTC while doing that and become the same second lieutenant I'd be if I graduated the academy, except two years earlier and without the service requirement because I wouldn't need a scholarship. Furthermore, my university has a fantastic flight training program and I'm lucky enough to have access to a college fund that could pay for it if I decided to do that as well. This perspective really makes me think that I should just keep doing what I'm already doing. After all, I know someone out there is praying for an appointment and might not have the alternative that I do.

However, both myself and my parents recognize the incredible opportunities the academy has to offer that I wouldn't be able to get anywhere else. My dad thinks I should take this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and give it a shot. If I left, my tuition waiver would always be there for me back home. The amount of character improvement and personal development I'd go through would be unreal, and it sounds amazing to me. But the academy isn't a walk in the park. I know I'd need a whole lot more than just a "give it a shot" mindset to get through four years of life at the academy. And with no real goal that the academy would uniquely allow me to achieve, I'd just be there just for the sake of being there, for the experience, for the character building. I'm unsure whether or not I'd be able to get through it given the fact that I could leave and graduate way quicker while having much more fun and freedom at my current university. The military part of it just doesn't get me all that excited. When I look at the potential class schedule I'd have lined up if I stayed home, I get excited. But I also get excited thinking about the airmanship classes, study abroad opportunities, research programs, and camaraderie at the academy. I place a huge emphasis on the value of relationships in my life and if there's one place that will form lifelong bonds, it's the service academies.

People have told me that I got in for a reason, that the Air Force and my interviewers saw something in me. I got two congressional nominations, and I'm proud of it. But I have a 35 ACT, 3.99 HS GPA, and 93 college credits with a 4.0. Part of me feels like I got in because of my academics alone, and for a place like the academy, I'd much rather have the unwavering motivation to graduate and become an officer in the Air Force over a slight advantage in academics. But the other part of me knows that graduating from USAFA would be one of the greatest achievements in my life, and I'd be immensely proud of it. I certainly wouldn't be as proud if I graduated from my current university.

I could go on and on, but I'll spare you guys. If it isn't obvious yet, I'm a really indecisive person and my thoughts on this have ping-ponged back and forth way to many times, but I think I've done a decent job summarizing the never-ending river of thoughts that has been flowing through my head over the last three weeks. Honestly, I'm worried that if I decline, I'll regret it for the rest of my life. I came here because I know most of you have been through it; you guys know who succeeds and who fails at the academy through experience. While none of you know me personally, I'm hoping that I've provided enough insight into my thoughts and motives. And seriously, thank you so much for reading this mess of a post. Any advice would mean the world to me.
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I’m another usafa candidate who’s been accepted. I have similar stats (which is to say I enjoy academics and learning in general) and I also had an incredibly similar thought process to the one you’ve laid out here.

To me, the choice is obvious, why exactly did you apply to usafa in the first place? I find it unlikely that you didn’t know what you could get out of it. Likely, you understood the character building opportunities and are the kind of intelligent person who isn’t macchiavellian or overly-ambitious, but rather a thoughtful person who would be an excellent leader. The reason you would be an exceptional leader is because of thoughts like the one you posted, you have thought this through carefully and without hubris, which leads you to question whether this is the right choice (which is what you should absolutely be doing) and then you sought out advice. You would absolutely serve well in the air force, but let me explain why I would be proud to go to USAFA, even while I did have a similar line of reasoning and questioning a while ago.

I don’t think you need to decide right now whether you want a career in the air force. And maybe that goes against the conventional wisdom, but in my mind, there is nothing wrong with doing a five and dive or maybe doing 10 years or 15 or whatever you feel comfortable with. People all the time say that if you go to a service academy, you should absolutely be gung-ho about the military and want a serious career. But I think it’s usually the cantankerous quinquagenarians that make those kinds of comments, because there are many different avenues of the military that don’t require to be a “I served two tours in JROTC 🤓☝️” kind of person. I myself am not a serious militarily-infatuated person, but I think USAFA will be an excellent choice because of the comradery, the character development, and all of the amazing opportunities the academy provides.

And I should probably emphasize the character development here, because smart kids are usually weak when it comes to making executive decisions, or following orders that don’t make complete sense, or having a disciplined schedule. And I’m not saying you are, you may be extremely skilled in those areas. But if you want the opportunity to make yourself better in many areas, set up your career for extreme success, set up yourself for extreme fulfillment- even if that means leaving the air force at some point- then I think you should go to usafa. And lastly, you also mentioned not knowing exactly what you want to do, and I think that’s all the more reason to go to usafa. The military will give you many options in general, but usafa specifically will make sure you find something you’re passionate about.

If you want to talk to other candidates about this, and believe me, there are many intelligent and kind candidates with similar feelings right now, here’s the discord link for usafa class of ‘28:

Join the USAFA Discord Server!

Check out the USAFA community on Discord - hang out with 116 other members and enjoy free voice and text chat.
discord.gg discord.gg
 
I echo Capt. MJ's wise comments. I will only add one thing, and it is simple. Not because I don't think you have a lot to ponder it's just from my personal experience. Whether or not you are attending a service academy, NROTC, or enlisting in the military you have to know that is what you want. It's perfectly natural to be nervous about your decision, but if you are at the point where you are questioning even attending/serving then I don't think it's for you. The military has tons of people that joined for the wrong reasons, and they are miserable (a friend of mine who just finished a tour as a commanding officer calls them "Sad Pandas".) I may say it too often but IMO, "If you have to ask, you already know the answer".
 
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As a college professor, I have conversations daily with young adults such as yourself, contemplating the 40-year work life that lies ahead and trying to land that perfect first job that will lead to a storybook -- and lucrative -- career.

Your post is more cogent than 90% of the thoughts I hear from students a few years older. You've turned this issue around many times over, looked at it from countless angles, poked and prodded until you've wrung it dry. I see someone who's trying to find a genuine reason to attend USAFA, above and beyond a parent's stated desire.

You've received outstanding advice above. But I don't think there's much more for you to mull. SA life is a grind, even for those who are as gung-ho as it gets. (My DD, for example, who made USNA and a commission her goal since middle school. She loved life on the Yard, but there were days and even weeks when she hated being there. It happens to the best of them.) Plebe summer and then plebe year and then the remaining three years are as difficult as they are rewarding. If your attitude going in is that you don't want to be there, multiply the negatives by 10.

Your mind is made up. Remember that it's your decision, not your father's. It's your life, not your father's. In the end, he'll be as proud of you for graduating from civilian college and embarking on a civilian career as he would be if you went the military route. Trust in that and do as your post clearly states that you desire.
 
Wake up tomorrow morning with the mindset that you have turned down your appointment and have chosen to stay at your university. If you feel remorse from that decision, then continue on the path toward USAFA. If you are at peace or content with that decision, stay where you are.

A couple of other reactions/comments from your post:

babamort said:
I feel like I'm much more interested in taking advantage of the opportunities at the academy rather than the idea of becoming an officer.
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This forum is a great place with a lot of great information. That being said, I think people with no military or academy experience can come here and get the impression that everyone at the academy is some super squared away decisive cadet with a special calling to be an officer. I might get flamed for this but I have had multiple kids attend one of the academies and I have interacted with hundreds of cadets and there are probably more of those "seeking to take advantage of the opportunities at the academy" than those on a mission to be an officer. The academies are typically great at molding those people into very capable officers by the time they graduate.

babamort said:
I don't think I could live with having to drop bombs and intentionally killing other people
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Again, a cadet who goes to the academy with this mindset from the beginning would be an extreme outlier. Your four years at the academy will likely provide a foundation with which you can appreciate and grasp your potential role in a conflict.

babamort said:
But the other part of me knows that graduating from USAFA would be one of the greatest achievements in my life, and I'd be immensely proud of it
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babamort said:
I'm worried that if I decline, I'll regret it for the rest of my life
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The above is likely true. You said you like a challenge and those things that challenge us the most are the most rewarding in life. Are you a gritty person? Will the "suck" of academy life trigger a flight instinct or an instinct to grit it out and finish what you have started? If you attend USAFA, will you be inclined to strongly desire going back to what you had? Only you can answer this question.

You sound like a great person with a good head on your shoulders. You will be successful at whatever path you choose.
 
Congratulations on your impressive accomplishments Babamort. If it’s not in your heart you won’t soar like you can. Folllow your heart.
My DS is sitting here praying and waiting for an answer to get an appointment He’s wanted this his whole life. Since he was 5yo visiting his uncle at various bases around the country. (Uncle is now a Retired USAFA Col.). My little inquisitive DS shut down the whole flight simulator machine at Edwards AFB. Don’t push that button! lol. He did. With his little flight suits he got for Xmas every year or bomber jacket.. he wants it and can taste it.
Anyway, in his heart of heart he wants to serve and wants to be at USAFA. I pray people that are half baked Do Not do this. Don’t do it . Pls leave it to people that really really want it. I hope admissions can ferret this out so we don’t lose people year over year. This is the report card of our Admissions team. What’s their attrition year over year numbers?
IMO- They should be having pointed conversations with people they have awarded prior to accepting.

Best of luck son. There’s many forks on this road. You just have to pick a direction.
 
While a Service Academy offers great opportunities, there are tremendous opportunities in many places. It sounds like your great opportunity lies in a different direction not at the Air Force Academy.
 
Some Cadets and Mids that "really want it" ultimately regret their choice and end up submitting a DOR. Happened to more than one of DCs' classmates.

Some Cadets and Mids that are not so gung ho find their motivation and are successful at the Academies and in their service.

People in this thread need to stop implying that the OP is somehow not deserving, worthy, or capable of succeeding in the Academy environment.

In the end, the OP will have to make the decision that works for them. I wish them all the best regardless of the path they choose.
 
I echo the other responses in that you are a very thoughtful and clearly bright young person. I can only offer my perspective as a grad and parent of a prospective appointee. Some thoughts I had while reading your post:

First, you note your dad thinks you should take this opportunity while you are clearly struggling with the decision. He knows you better than almost anyone but you know yourself best. I was not initially even supportive of my child's interest in USAFA. Probably because I went through it and knew what it meant. And I WANTED to go and WANTED to be there (almost) every day, even the hard days. But it is common to want to quit, I think you'd be hard pressed to find any grad who didn't have days they wanted to drive out the north gate and never look back. You need a why to keep you centered and it's better if that why is based on something more than the challenge or your worry about future regrets - not saying those are your only why's but commenting on what you mentioned. In addition, everyone will have stories to share of their friend who was there because their parents really wanted it for them and they eventually ended up leaving. You've really got to determine if there's any part of your decision that is influenced by that and decide if there's enough of you wanting it to outweigh that.

Second, the world you're entering as a young person is uncertain; Russia/Ukraine, China/Taiwan and the clear focus and planning our military is taking to prepare for engagement on a global level are real considerations. Many believe this to be a case of when not if and sooner not later. And these aren't just warmongers speaking on this. the chances you'll be a lieutenant in an Air Force that is actively engaged in combat are high and the person in the cockpit dropping the bomb is just the final step in a long process, very likely which you'd be part of, whether as a cargo pilot or a maintenance officer etc. You should consider your thoughts on that. I think you know on some level as you're very thoughtful and expressive, and your one statement that jumped out the most to me was "given the choice between the exact same job in the military vs. as a civilian, I'd take doing it as a civilian." You are being given the choice now - and consider that "regret for the rest of my life" at 18/19 is really more likely pondering the occasional "what if" when you're 51 ;) (I do this on occasion with "what if I'd gone to art school" which was the only other thing I ever really considered - but it's not turned into a lifelong regret)

Finally, you didn't really talk about what you think you'll bring, both to the Academy experience (your classmates, the organization etc) and subsequently to the Air Force. The Academy experience is not a solo one, at least not successfully or happily - it is a group exercise. This could actually help you, as you'll have immediate brothers and sisters who are there to prop you up when you can't do it yourself, but also you need to be able to provide the same for them when they need it.

I hope you find peace with whatever decision you make, your thoughtfulness and drive add to the excitement I have daily about your generation and what you'll accomplish. And you will clearly bring a lot to this world whether you go to the Academy or remain on your current path.
 
When you speak with SA grads and ask them how they enjoyed their time at USAFA/USNA/USMA you will often hear "It is a great place to be from". SAs are very difficult places to BE...even for the most dedicated. What you don't see, are the behind-the-scenes conversations Cadets have with their parents after a tough day or week. You don't see the Parents' Facebook Group anonymous posts asking other parents for suggestions on how they should talk to their DS or DD who is ABSOLUTELY distraught because EVERYTHING is so difficult. You don't see how difficult it is being surrounded by everyone who is as smart or smarter than you....as athletic or more athletic than you. Nearly 1 out of every 6 Cadets who accept an appointment leave before they graduate. SAs are extremely difficult even for the kids who have dreamed of attending their whole lives.

You sound like you are very happy with where you are now. You also sound like you don't want to serve as an officer. I would find another way to challenge yourself and build character. If you want to fly...become a commercial pilot. You sound like an intelligent and conscientious young man. You will do good things in your life....it just probably won't be in the USAF and that is fine.

Good luck to you.
 
Capt MJ said:
After reading everything you wrote, my gut feel is you do not want the part of the service academy deal that involves the “after” life as a uniformed officer, leader and military warrior. There is nothing wrong with that.
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This

USAFA, or any Service Academy, ROTC, Reserves, Guard, etc is so more than just paying for college. Upon graduation, you have to give back at least 5 years of your life. If you'd rather spend those 5 years flight training and logging hours in pursuit of a career in aviation, then there's your answer. If college is already paid for and you have a plan for logging those hours, then chase your dream and plans. If after graduation you decide you still want to do a few years in the military, they'll take you, and you'd still be able to serve as an officer relatively quickly. If your goal is to get into aviation and you're already well on your way, then stay the course.
 
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The service academies exist to train and educate people to be warfighters. It’s a principle driving force. If your personal feelings are at odds with that, then you likely have your answer.
 
I was in a somewhat similar situation this past fall. After being unable to attend USAFA due to an injury, I had to decide whether to stick with the civilian college I'd committed to or throw away that acceptance to reapply to USAFA. Like you I am an overthinker. I thought of the two paths very clinically, just searching for what made the most logical sense on paper. And I realized that my pros cons lists proved that civilian school made more sense.

I also realized that I was doing the whole thing wrong. When faced with personal decisions, most people just do what they want. They don't need a list to verify their feelings. They pick the thing they want and they go for it. Maybe those people could use some more pro/con lists in their life, but if like me you need to study cosmetology before picking a new haircut, you need fewer lists. But here's one more: It's okay to choose impulsively because 1) civilian college and USAFA are both amazing options, just for different reasons and 2) this is a personal decision about your life, and you can live your life however you want.

This, of course, is all just the opinion of a fellow appointee. I don't claim any wisdom. I give my opinion, though, because I have noticed that this forum tends toward an attitude that if your #1 life goal isn't to serves an officer then you don't belong at USAFA. Personally, I can see myself living many different lives--some as an Air Force officer, and some very far from that world. But I can only live one life, and whichever path I follow, I will throw myself into it with great passion. I don't feel that I have to be an AF officer. But I do feel that I could be a great one. I believe that all the cadets I've spoken with would agree that they don't have to be AF officers, but that they could be great ones. They chose USAFA for reasons other than the gold bars (eg challenge, camaraderie, pilot slots, athletics, free tuition).

So I don't ask you do you have to be an AF officer, but rather, could you follow that path with intense passion? If the answer is no then don't go. If the answer is mayyybe then don't go. If the answer is yes then write up a pros/cons list. If that doesn't yield an obvious answer, or you don't like what the answer is, then throw it away and go with your gut.

Since finishing my application five months ago, I've reflected on my ethics and values and decided that I don't think flying on the front lines is for me. My family is the polar opposite of a military family, and both of my parents really value the ethics of their jobs as professors. While I have massive respect for our nation's veterans, I don't think I could live with having to drop bombs and intentionally killing other people, which limits my careers to non-combat roles.
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Regarding this quote, I am also from a non-military family. I grew up in an extremely liberal area where many of my peers despised the US military. I have recognized, though, that my family and home are not me. I am my own person with my own views on the ethics of war. Maybe you should reasses whether you're letting yourself be your own person? Also I don't think all AF pilots are dropping bombs and beyond pilots there are a lot of non-combat roles. I think the question to ask is, regardless of combat vs non-combat role, would you feel comfortable supporting the AF's violence-centric mission for 5 years minimum?

Again, I can't claim to speak from a position of great wisdom. I'm no older or more experienced than you. I'm just sharing my perspective.
 
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