Advice for New Plebe Sponsor

Chime, runningtide, on meal ideas. It ain't just the spread, it's the company.

Ideas:

Fajitas (grilled veggies and meats plus the fixings, build your own)
Tacos
Chili and cornbread (from a mix is FINE)
Lasagna
Sloppy joes

One more thing: a crock pot might be in order. You can make food that stays hot but pretty fresh for a while, better to accommodate the comings and goings. But yeah, get the plebers involved! I remember having a great conversation about being a woman in the Navy with my sponsor mom as we chopped lettuce, tomatoes, olives, and shredded the cheese for tacos. My "brothers" and I always made a point of doing all the cleaning up, loading the dishwasher, etc. Just because you don't know how to be a gourmand doesn't mean you and your plebes can't crack open a cookbook (or prop open the 'puter to allrecipes dot com or epicurious dot com!). And don't freak out if you get a vegetarian. :smile: But I can already tell you're the adventurous type!

You're going to be so awesome. It almost makes me want to be a plebe again. (Holy buckets, what am I saying?!?)
 
runningtide --- if my plebe is lucky enough to get you for a sponsor, he will be happy to help you cook :shake: He turned into quite the chef when I went back to work full time. I'm sure there are plenty of other plebes out there who know their way around a kitchen. Thank you so much for your service to our country. I am very sorry for your loss and am most appreciative that you and your sons are willing to share your home with some of the midshipmen. I hope all of the plebes are fortunate enough to find sponsors who care as much as you do! By the way, a pot of spaghetti sauce can simmer all afternoon - just make sure they aren't wearing anything white when you serve it!
 
Hi Again;

I can't begin to thanks all of you for the continued support and outstanding advice. The meal ideas make so much sense, and even I can handle them. I love the ideas of getting the Mid's involved (without their white on...:redface:)

I do remember being over my friends house at times when they had their Mids over, and as all of you have so very clearly pointed out, the Mids really like not having a schedule to adhere to, so having simple meals that can be constructed by the Mids when they ready, rather than trying to have a more formal sitting makes so much sense. My home has a large elevated deck with trees everywhere where we Barbecue occasionally. It's a great place to hang out in nice weather and hoping the Mids will enjoy it.

On another subject, we live about 100 yards from a great waterfront marina and restaurant, the owner of which have been my friends for 20 years. If I decide to do a night out with the Mids, I'm wondering what the protocol is regarding the check. I don't assume the Mids make much money and I would be pleased to pick up the check. But in situations like this, is there any standard approach?

One more question...(for now :rolleyes:) My family belongs to a wonderful yacht club located directly on the Bay, just north of Sandy Point. We keep our 31' Grady White fishing boat in a slip, and also use the facilities like the pool, clubhouse, and outdoor gazebo and BBQ facilities on the beach. It would be a great place for the Mids to chill out and maybe get a little fishing in on the boat. I'm sure this will be addressed tonight in my training, but do the Mids have to be in their whites at the club..., or on the boat, or can they where their Navy sweats?

Anyway.....you have all been so kind to my family. Really make me proud to be a Vet and have this wonderful chance to help a few Mids as they tackle this increadble opportunity.

Keep the suggestions coming.
 
Runningtide,

You will get general guidelines about uniforms at your orientation. Unless things have changed significantly, the rules for plebes are that they can be in PT gear while at their sponsor's: jogging suits, sweatshirts/sweatpants. They will be responsible for knowing uniform regs for departing on town liberty, being in public on town liberty, and returning to the Yard. (In fact every plebe must know and be able to recite the UOD, among many other things, in chow calls.)

I thought of one more thing. Ask your plebes whether their parents are planning on attending PPW, and if not, and you are up for it, your company during their town liberty periods might be ever so gratefully accepted. (My 'rents didn't come to PPW, but between company-mates' generous parents and my sponsor family, I was still off the Yard during our liberty periods. I slept, between sheets, at my sponsor's house. It was so awesome.) They may very well be "adopted" like I was, but I like Capt MJ's idea of a sponsor open house.

LAP
 
We were new sponsors last year - although like you we had friends who had plebes and living downtown for many years, you get to know quite a bit about mids and their parents.

We've had a great time as Sponsor parents, and a lot of that really has to do with the initial match. A lot of what has already been said is really on point. Here's just a few more thoughts from our experience:

Sponsor Meet & Greet
-get your sons to stake out space in the lobby and take a blanket or something so your plebe can sit down without worry.
- take some snacks. It's an informal icebreaker and gives something to do with fidgety hands. Try to pick plebe friendly things that don't coat the fingers in orange cheese :biggrin:
-after you've gotten to hear a bit from your plebe, offer your cell phone for that rare call home. You don't want to take the attention away from getting to know your plebe, but the chance to talk without a detailer watching and a connection to people they trust at a time when they're in yet another unfamiliar situation goes a long way. It's also interesting because one of the first things they need to explain to the person on the other end is why the call is coming from such a wierd phone number and what the Sponsor family is like.
Liberty
-they don't know when they'll have true liberty. It's almost a cruel joke in the fall because they'll have "boards" to finish, watch, or be "volun-told" to go to an event, or have home football games. So what should technically be free, isn't.
-we took ours to non-white-uniform friendly places (e.g., Renn Fest) in uniform. It stood out, but interestingly it also made it possible for other Navy people to come up and talk to her about service live, the academy and such. Plus many people thanked her for making the commitment or younger people asked her questions because they were considering going. She ended up connecting and viewing her role quite differently that day.
 
I have a hard time relating to the whole sponsor thing. I'm sure it's a reflection of my bias from my years at the academy ('75-'79). Back then, the sponsor program was not nearly as robust as it is today. Few midshipmen had sponsors. Most of us just wanted to hangout with our academy friends, not a bunch of old foggies in town. From my perception, back in my day, most midshipmen used their sponsors (and I do mean used) for storing their crap, getting rides to the airport, and a place to park their car (sometimes illegally). It seemed like a rather selfish relationship, in my opinion.

Back in my day, I never felt the burning need to get away from the academy on a routine basis. I was an Aerospace Engineering major and I had better things to do with my time than to frivolously kick back in somebody's lounge chair, watch TV, and drink Cokes. I can count on one hand how many times I even utilized our company wardroom for the purpose of lounging about. As it was, there were not enough hours in the day to get things done. Then again, there's a huge difference in the academy experience when majoring in Engineering as opposed to Poli Sci.

To be fair, this is just a reflection of my personal temperament. It just wasn't something I felt like I needed. If somebody needs this sort of interaction, I'm glad it's available. I currently have two sons at the Naval Academy (Class of 2013) and I know the last thing that would interest them would be to hangout at somebody's house during what little free time they have.

It's a wonderment to me how so many people are willing to be sponsors. I'm even more puzzled at how many midshipmen want sponsors these days. It's a dramatic change from years past. Today it's the rule, in the past it was the exception.

... just a little historical perspective.
 
old fogey's basement

made me laugh. There certainly is some truth to that, but unless you attended the Academy as a tween, I'm closer to your kids in age than to you.

A lot of sponsors seem to be attached to the military one way or the other. Some of us get involved due to proximity. But sitting around the table on our deck on a nice Saturday evening in the fall, you could find a physicist, a computer engineer, an architect, a high school principal, a lawyer, an economist, a stay at home mom who speaks four languages, a landscaper, and an artist... while our kids run around and the dog begs for scraps or attention.

What we get is some perspective into what the life is like on the other side of the wall and our kids get exposed to intelligent determined college students.

What our plebe has the opportunity to do is learn from people who are applying what they may be studying, hear and participate in debates on all sorts of topics from federal budgets to , and maybe get some reminders that "civilians" and "townies" aren't all bad or unintelligent. It doesn't mean she doesn't take a nap, and never watches TV, but that's not all that goes on.

If we had a plebe that wasn't interested in hearing a discussion of Snow White and the 7 dwarves -- computers not the fairy tale -- it wouldn't be a good fit and she'd probably have been "adopted" elsewhere.
 
sorry .. bad math on my part. I'll blame it on an aging brain. And didn't get back in to correct before my edit window expired... I get that by teen standards we're all old, but there are a lot of younger sponsor families too. that was my point.
 
LongAgoPlebe

I got the skinny about the UODs last night at the sponsor meeting, so I’m clear. Looks like the plebes like to hang in PTs at the house. Capt MJ even had spare PTs for the mids for after football games, since they could not carry them in formation.
As to PPW w/o parents, I’d be more than glad if a few want to spend it with us. I understand why some parents can’t afford another expensive trip, or maybe other reasons preventing them from traveling, but I also can’t imagine a plebes fir liberty after a tough summer, and having to spend it alone in town. I’ll make sure my plebes ask around to see if any of their friends are in this situation.
Thanks again for the help.

2014sponsor

I like the idea of the snacks and the cell phone…both my boys and I will make this happen. Don’t understand the blanket issue…, I would thing we could grab a few seats after meeting and chat there. Maybe you could expand on the blanket issue.
The subject of the autumn conflict with town liberty did come up last night. In fact there was one woman that came down rather hard on commandant Capt Clark about the mandatory formations, etc, that she said limited the plebes access to their sponsors. (Maybe they just didn’t click, because I do know there are only a handful of home games and many of my friends seem to have their plebes over on at least half the Saturdays.) But we are prepared to handle whatever situation comes up. (I hope…)

Menphis9489

I can imagine over 30 years ago things were different at the yard. Some of the examples you do cite seem to be actions of upper class midshipman, like parking their cars at the sponsors. It’s true today that as the midshipman progress thru the ranks, and more privileges are granted, many of them don’t see their sponsors much or at all. And I can well understand some personalities just don’t need what a sponsor has to offer. Keep in mind that this program is primarily for Plebes, who without a sponsor have nowhere to go and kick back, in a friendly relaxed environment. Once introduced, how the relationship develops from that point between Sponsors and midshipman varies across the board, but most experienced sponsors agree it’s a rewarding endeavor for both parties, most of the time.
As to why so many plebes today request sponsors, form my point of view it’s obvious. For the most part, this is their first time away from home, and unlike colleges, their summer is 100% boot camp, with zero liberty. After seven weeks of serious pressure and detailers around every corner, the chance to get 12 hours to relax, raid the fridge, and watch a movie, in a relaxed environment, would appeal to most people. To back it up, as stated by the sponsor staff last night to a direct question from me, there are more plebes asking for sponsors, than sponsors available, but somehow the staff seems to make it work.
As to why anyone would be a sponsor, for most of us.., it’s called heart. I know many cases where the sponsor may feel abused, as you mentioned, and if it gets’s to that point, it’s time for an eye-to-eye with the midshipman. Both parties have the option to end the relationship for any reason if necessary
.
For me it’s goes beyond just helping out the plebes as they learn to adjust to a military world. I’m a Vietnam era vet that served two years in South East Asia, before being stationed back in the states. Though my tour was combat free, I lost several friends to the war. But most of all, what hit all military people serving during that time, it was coming home that hurt the worse. I remember a chartered World Airways jet filled with various service veterans returning to Travis AFB in Calif from Da Nang and Kadena . We were about an hour out of Travis when a Marine Officer (not sure the rank) got on the PA and made a brief announcement that went something like this. “Listen up……I have been asked to read this statement from the Department of Defense…., It is recommended the military personnel returning to Travis AFB from South East Asia be made aware of the anti-military climate in San Francisco, as well as many other cities throughout the country. While traveling to their next assignment, the safety of returning personnel, it is recommended that upon arrival at Travis military personnel change into civilian clothes before proceeding to San Francisco and their next duty station.”

There was more to it, but you get the point. I can also assure you that the look on this Marine combat veteran while he read this DoD statement was pure hatred and disgust. I can also affirm that after he finished, there was a resounding response from the 250 military personnel on the aircraft….”F--k them ! Latter as I got on a bus at Travis heading to San Francisco, I did not see a single civilian outfit…

Like all my military brothers and sisters that served during that terrible time in this country, I am committed to never forget the sacrifice of any man or woman that puts on a uniform, and honorably servers their country, and to do all I can to show them the respect and gratitude for their service. I never again want to see our military disrespected by the nation we are charged to protect.

So…, from my position, helping these young people is my way of saying thanks not only to them for the commitment they are taking on, but thanks to the United States Military.

Sorry for the soap box, but please accept my sincere thanks for your sacrifice and service to our country.
 
I also offer my condolences to you and your family and thank you for the wonderful service you are providing the mids and for your service in Vietnam. I am a female AF vet with a DD exploring the USCGA (at AIM this week). I can't offer specific answers to your questions, but here's what I think: People are different, so you may find that some want to be left alone to relax and enjoy some time to themselves while others may crave the company of someone who reminds them of someone from home (i.e., their Dad, grandfather, etc.). I had a very special relationship with my grandmother who I was fortunate enough to have until I was 42 years old. I went far away from home for college (but that was an hour from her), so she became my "sponsor home" when I needed a break from campus. When I enlisted, I stayed that summer with her before I went active duty. She was the one who gave me my goodbye hug when that scary military bus picked me up in the wee hours of the morning to take me to the MEPS station for processing before boarding a flight to Lackland AFB. I think part of the reason we were so close is because she had the uncanny ability to sense when I needed her attention and when I needed to be alone ... and even when I needed to sow some oats (although I totally agree with the need to stick to the rules). Just by your very nature of reaching out for advice and all of the thought you have put into preparing your place as a "home away from home", I think you will be outstanding at being able to read these Mids and offering them exactly what they need. I'm sure all will come away better, happier and rejuvenated from your company and your kind heart. Thank God for people like you ... and thank you for giving me a reason to think of my grandmother again today. The thought of her always brings a smile to my face and warmth to my heart. After the visits from your Mids, if you feel inclined to share how it went, I would love to hear about it as a follow up to this post.
 
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As to why so many plebes today request sponsors, form my point of view it’s obvious. For the most part, this is their first time away from home, and unlike colleges, their summer is 100% boot camp, with zero liberty.

I think the reason more Plebes have sponsors these days is because the academy "sells" the program more aggressively than they have in the past. It's much more organized. There is a segment of Plebe Summer set aside to hook the Plebes up with sponsors. The Plebes are left with the impression that "everybody has a sponsor."

I don't really remember anybody making a serious attempt to hook us up with a sponsor. I think we were told, "For any Plebe desiring a sponsor, there is an optional meeting in Mahan Hall at 1600." That was about it! Most of us weren't even fully aware what a sponsor was for - what we would do - what were the benefits. Instead, we just stayed in our rooms and studied our rates before evening meal formation.

There is one "skill" every midshipman must eventually master; and, if they don't master it at the academy they'll have to master it in the fleet. In my day we used to say, "Bask in the misery." Today, they say, "Embrace the suck." Sometimes you have to realize that there is just no escape. You take a step back, look at your situation and just laugh. In many ways, this is the glue that binds the midshipmen together for many years to come - they all experienced the same trials and tribulations. There is something very uniting about that. This is why people who have served together as prisoners-of-war frequently have a lifetime bond.
 
to the OP: I add my condolences to those who have expressed them so well.

Memphis, you're right that USNA "sells" the program a lot more now. As part of the PTR package for 2012, every candidate was given a form regarding sponsor preferences (smoking/non, pets/non, kids/non, etc). All of them attended the "Meet and Greet" session in Alumni Hall.

It does seem at a glance that the Mids are "using" their sponsors, but having met my Mid's sponsors many times now, they really seem to enjoy the relationships they've established with "their" Mids. They have rules to limit the "using" to what they're willing to do (i.e., rides to the airport are OK when convenient, storing things at their house - no). OTOH, when they have gone out of town on vacation, some of their upper class "sponsor kids" are often available to house/pet sit, water plants, etc. At least at their place, it's very much like a family with lots of kids, where the older ones are expected to take care of the new ones.
 
catchthefever
Great to hear from an fellow AF vet. Good luck to your DD. My son-in-law just retired (early) from the CG at a Cmdr. He was a graduate from the USCGA. I really enjoyed your description of the relationship with your Grandmother. I know how important this type of support can be for most people. I remember my first night at Lackland.., wondering why these DI's were yelling at me :confused: At 18 years old, just out of high school, it's quite a change.
I agree with some of the points Memphis9489 has made, and clearly the sponsor program does not work in all cases, but I've known so many midshipman through other friends, and many of them have carried on their relationship with their sponsors long after leaving the yard. The relationship is also one of the first many of these plebes have with an adult other than their parent, and I know at times, it's a great relief to talk things out with someone who's not a parent, but can offer an opinion or just a sympathic ear.:smile:
Thanks for the kind words...

2012mom

Very well put. I'm glad your Mid's experience has been a positive one. I hope we are able to find a few Mids that enjoy the company of my family at Maniac Manner.:shake:
 
There is one "skill" every midshipman must eventually master; and, if they don't master it at the academy they'll have to master it in the fleet. In my day we used to say, "Bask in the misery." Today, they say, "Embrace the suck." Sometimes you have to realize that there is just no escape. You take a step back, look at your situation and just laugh. In many ways, this is the glue that binds the midshipmen together for many years to come - they all experienced the same trials and tribulations. There is something very uniting about that. This is why people who have served together as prisoners-of-war frequently have a lifetime bond.
Agree completely. Those friendships forged during the adversities of Plebe Year are the ones that will remain the strongest over the remainder of one's life. No such thing as a sponsor program back in my day and my son, a Plebe in '94-'95, chose not to participate in the program and felt that it was a correct choice.
 
Sponsor Program is great and I applaud anyone willing to give up the time. It is not for every Plebe and they make their own decisions and sometimes spend a lot of time with a friends sponsor. I remember getting off that bus at Lackland. What a shock to the system. Memphis: 2LT says that at the beginning at least there is a great difference at TBS between USNA and those from other officer ascension programs. After four years at USNA has learned to "Embrace The Suck".
 
Sponsor Program is great and I applaud anyone willing to give up the time. It is not for every Plebe and they make their own decisions and sometimes spend a lot of time with a friends sponsor. I remember getting off that bus at Lackland. What a shock to the system. Memphis: 2LT says that there is a great difference at TBS between USNA and those from other officer ascension programs. After four years USNA has learned to "Embrace The Suck".

Your 2LT was familiar with that phrase? :smile:

One thing I vividly recall from my Naval Academy days is this: When on summer cruises, it was very common to have NROTC midshipmen in the mix. Things did not always go that smoothly during these cruises. It wasn't always a professional learning experience. Sometimes is was downright miserable and boring. The Naval Academy midshipmen tended to handle these inconveniences better than our "secular" counterparts. We were used to eating "sh*t sandwiches" without complaining. We would revel in the misery of it all. Lots of dark humor.

Anybody who has ever read a "Log Magazine" and got the humor - knows exactly what I'm talking about.

So, what does this all have to do with sponsors?

I'm probably leaving the wrong impression. I'm not against the sponsor program. But I think there is something to be said for learning (sooner rather than later) - that there's no place to go when your down and miserable. There's no relief. There's no place to escape. There's nobody to put their arm around you and listen to your problems. You can't just "get away from it all" and recharge your batteries. You have to charge your own battery.
 
She wasn't familiar with that phrase but they have a lot of other phrases used. She did notice the difference between other Officer Candidate TBS and those from USNA. USNA graduates seem to be a lot more laid back. They have "Seen The Elephant". I learned a long time ago to "Embrace The Suck".
 
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Memphis ... seems YOUR USNA cruising experience(s) continue(s)! I've heard so many similar sea stories. It's good you're initiating the unwashed here. Mimimizes risk of disillusionment when humor and the reality that this is somewhat "normal" are introduced.

Thanks for the introduction! :smile:

Now AF ... what the deuce is "Seen the elephant" about??? :confused:
 
Memphis ... seems YOUR USNA cruising experience(s) continue(s)! I've heard so many similar sea stories. It's good you're initiating the unwashed here. Mimimizes risk of disillusionment when humor and the reality that this is somewhat "normal" are introduced.

Thanks for the introduction! :smile:

Now AF ... what the deuce is "Seen the elephant" about??? :confused:

"Seen the elephant" = survived being stampeded by the circus pachyderm. (Overcome adversity, misery, hardship; persevered.)
 
I agree with Mumsy---DS has a sponsor family -we met them -great people -only problem is he was so worried about academics and other things plus he isnt a "meet new people well" personality type he never went to their home. Don't be discouraged if you have multiple plebes and one or more don't come over. Although he liked his family he just didn't take advantage of their hospitality last year. Now that he may be more apt to see them he feels he let them down last year and will probably never use the system. He has however been invited to go with other plebes to their sponsor homes and i think he did that once.
Thank you for everything the sponsor program made me feel better knowing if he did need someone i had a contact.
 
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