I am a long-time lurker, but never joined until now. Thank you so much to all of the regular posters. I've learned so much from you, and I feel as if I know you after over a year of reading your comments on the forum. I appreciate what a caring group of people you are, and I really need your help right now with how to help my DS.
Long story short, he is a C4C at USAFA as of Tuesday, and he is wanting to leave ASAP. I'm afraid he is basing his decisions on emotions and is not thinking rationally at his point. He is still exhausted from BCT, and he also caught a cold at the end, so he's not feeling well.
From the best I can discern from our conversations, his main reason for wanting to leave is that he is scared and depressed and doesn't think he can make it at USAFA. He has been listening to everyone tell him how impossible it is to get your school work done along with all your other duties, and he's lost confidence in himself. I've tried to feed him facts I've learned from this forum and encourage him to stay and at least give it a try so he can see for himself what cadet life is like and base his decision on real information, but he's not listening. I've also tried to encourage him to go talk to a chaplain, but he hasn't done that yet.
My questions are, who can my son go to for counsel and when? Is there anybody there who can help him regain his perspective so he doesn't make a choice he may end up regretting? Is it best for him to start the Form 34 process so he can get some counseling, or is it better for him to try talking to people in his chain of command first for advice?
It is so hard watching him doubt himself, and my heart breaks for him when I listen to his despair over the situation he feels he's trapped in. For years he wanted to attend USAFA, become a pilot, and serve his country. To throw that dream away now, after completing BCT successfully, just doesn't make sense to me. He didn't struggle with the physical aspects of BCT, but the mental strain is what seems to be bothering him. I get it that USAFA and the military are not right for everyone, but can anyone make an informed decision based just on what it was like during BCT? We are not a military family, but we did the best we could to help him prepare for what it would be like at the Academy. Apparently, we failed him.
Also, we never pushed him to apply to USAFA. It was totally his idea, and, in fact, I tried to talk him out of it. It's not that I am against the service academies, but I was trying to make sure of his motivation. We will support him the best we can, whatever he ultimately decides. We just need to know how best to help him.
Long story short, he is a C4C at USAFA as of Tuesday, and he is wanting to leave ASAP. I'm afraid he is basing his decisions on emotions and is not thinking rationally at his point. He is still exhausted from BCT, and he also caught a cold at the end, so he's not feeling well.
From the best I can discern from our conversations, his main reason for wanting to leave is that he is scared and depressed and doesn't think he can make it at USAFA. He has been listening to everyone tell him how impossible it is to get your school work done along with all your other duties, and he's lost confidence in himself. I've tried to feed him facts I've learned from this forum and encourage him to stay and at least give it a try so he can see for himself what cadet life is like and base his decision on real information, but he's not listening. I've also tried to encourage him to go talk to a chaplain, but he hasn't done that yet.
My questions are, who can my son go to for counsel and when? Is there anybody there who can help him regain his perspective so he doesn't make a choice he may end up regretting? Is it best for him to start the Form 34 process so he can get some counseling, or is it better for him to try talking to people in his chain of command first for advice?
It is so hard watching him doubt himself, and my heart breaks for him when I listen to his despair over the situation he feels he's trapped in. For years he wanted to attend USAFA, become a pilot, and serve his country. To throw that dream away now, after completing BCT successfully, just doesn't make sense to me. He didn't struggle with the physical aspects of BCT, but the mental strain is what seems to be bothering him. I get it that USAFA and the military are not right for everyone, but can anyone make an informed decision based just on what it was like during BCT? We are not a military family, but we did the best we could to help him prepare for what it would be like at the Academy. Apparently, we failed him.
Also, we never pushed him to apply to USAFA. It was totally his idea, and, in fact, I tried to talk him out of it. It's not that I am against the service academies, but I was trying to make sure of his motivation. We will support him the best we can, whatever he ultimately decides. We just need to know how best to help him.