Hi and welcome to the KP family!
As a parent of a newly recognized 4th class mid, I have to say that roller coaster ride is an excellent description and "Cybil" is definitely at the switch.
First, on complaining. I joke that complaining is a competitive sport at KP. My daughter corrected me - it's not a sport. They take it much more seriously than that.
I don't think there is a better description that Jamzmom's that one minute everything is great and a moment later you swear they have been possessed as they scream at you. There are times where nothing you can do is right. Mom: I sent you some more gummies. DD: What are you doing? Trying to make me fat? A month later. DD: I got the box with the speakers (after recognition). You failed! You didn't send chocolate. Mom: But you accused me of trying to make you fat!?! DD: Doesn't matter. You failed. You didn't send chocolate.
The real reason I'm adding to this thread is not just to echo everyone else. But our experience was a bit different. I read all about needing to be supportive, sending encouraging cards during Indoc. Our DD has always been the independent sort. But I figured that with all of the extra stress, she would actually want support and cheering up. She didn't! She didn't like getting cute and motivational cards. She didn't want to receive letters because then she felt like she should answer them and didn't have time. But she wanted mail. She needed us to purchase and mail many things. (Did anyone warn you that you will feel as if you are single handedly supporting the budget of the US Postal Service?) She didn't even want me coming to these forums. ("Stop stalking me! You can't understand! Don't even try!") Oh, another good one - don't send me emails. I get too many official ones and I don't want to have to deal with more. We communicate via IM. I leave it open while I'm at the computer and I wait to let HER initiate contact unless I have a specific question.
What's my point with all of that? Some KPers need to separate KP from their outside life. Be prepared for your plebe to NOT react like everyone says they will. Don't take it personally if they don't want letters or cards. Maybe our daughter just felt she needed to prove to herself that she could do it herself. I don't know. I DO know that since Recognition she's been a lot more cheerful and friendly. I'm sure that she will revert to the spawn of Satan at some point while studying for exams, if not sooner.
One last point, about academics. It is HARD! But it is also DOABLE! I'm still not sure how DD survived her first tri. Between Beat Retreat Band practices, cross country practices, physical therapy (dislocated her shoulder during Indoc) and the normal extras for plebes, there was very little time for school work. She had enough sense to ask for help when she needed it. The help is there! Then she wondered why we were so happy with her grades. Our response was that she didn't fail anything, wasn't set back, didn't need to go to summer school and wasn't on academic probation. The GPA even went up a little second tri. Let's just say that your definition of successful may shift, especially when compared to your expectations of siblings at civilian schools.
It's a difficult thing they choose to do when they go to KP. But the ties that develop between them are fantastic! When I hear DD talk about her friends and the things they do together, I know she is at absolutely the right place for her. One day she will even decide that it was worth it.
Sorry to be so long-winded!