Comissioning, Orders, and a lot of random questions about them.

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kisha41474

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Hi,

My son will be commissioning in (I can't believe this) just over a week. I have asked what guests need to wear (inside ceremony) and his answer, was based on his watching previous commissions, a lot formal. Cadre as at least as of yesterday, not advised them on dress for guests not in a uniform. He is supposed to be asking, but he is very busy with all the paperwork, so do not know for sure when he will get back to me, and I need to know if I have to shop. I had planned on wearing an ankle length dressy but, spaghetti strapped dress (same as I wore to DH retirement ceremony) but, DS has me a little bit worried. Any input while I wait on him would be great.

Next question, he obviously knows his first duty station, and called to see what he needs to get on waiting list (he is married), they told him he at least has to have his rip. All of his previous orders for anything, from field training to flight physical have come to him 24-48 hours before he has to be there. He is under the impression this will not change, again based on observations. For him as an individual, this really isn't a big deal, but when you add in spouse, and the need of TMO, which again needs a rip, causes a problem. In this case, I'm more worried about my DIL than about him getting to duty station. If it stays the normal 24-48 hours, there will be no way to get TMO set up before he leaves.
I know now, housing will not make exception, but we are unsure about TMO. He is working on finding that out as well, but he is Wing IG right now, and cadre recently put him in charge of a few more things, and sadly, just being IG kept him busy enough, add in paperwork for ROTC to commission and his extra duties, getting information to me is not a priority for him (No, I have no problem with that, his main concern is his wife as it should be). So I'm a little impatient, and also wanting to plan out if my DIL's mom and I are going to go help her out with TMO they currently live with 2 room mates, lots of eyes needed to ensure TMO doesn't pack wrong items, all previous AD can probably understand that LOL.

Do any of yall have experience with a difference of actually getting a rip, or your orders for first duty station faster than he has normally gotten orders? His report date is almost exactly 2 weeks after commissioning, and from his understanding, his EAD is his report date.

Any information yall can give me would be awesome. The times he does call me, I really just want to enjoy the call, he's going to undergrad pilot training, so my calls will become few and far between, and due to his training schedule, and how far away they will be, they want to focus on paying off loans, visit home could be a couple of years. That's why I just want to cherish my calls now, I know pathetic, but extremely proud mom LOL
 
With respect to the ceremony and what to wear.....Does your son's unit have a website or Facebook page that has posted pictures from prior commissioning events? If so, you might get an idea on how other people have dressed. It isn't much, but it might help to reassure you. It sounds like what you are planning on wearing is just fine.
 
Congratulations! You have every right to be proud. He wouldn't be where he is without you.

Since my son was, and is, single I can't help with most of your questions. I can say that as long as you wear your Sunday best to the commissioning ceremony you'll be just fine. I wore a sports coat and slacks to one indoor commissioning, shirt and slacks to another (which was much more informal for various reasons), and slacks, white shirt and tie to DS's as it was outside and rather hot. The wife wore a skirt, blouse and jacket to that one. Most Dads are in suits... at least at the commissioning ceremonies I've been to indoors. Sports coat and slacks would be just as acceptable.
 
Oh yeah, your son's a big boy now. He can work out the other stuff. His spouse should be nagging him to find out. You should play a more "regal role". :)
 
There are a lot of YouTube videos showing commissioning ceremonies. Check out some in the general region of your DS's college and you should get to see a realistic view of how parents dress.

I am certain you will look proud and radiant!

Congratulations!
 
kinnem said:
Oh yeah, your son's a big boy now. He can work out the other stuff. His spouse should be nagging him to find out. You should play a more "regal role". :)
Click to expand...
Oh she is nagging, but she is also getting to that "my first time as a mil spouse moving alone" overwhelmed stage. They had it all planned out for TMO, right up until, he realized that he likely wouldn't get orders sooner than he normally does. Everyone in his det, is under the same impression of that same 24-48 hour out frame, so while she nags on some, I'm just looking to see if any others have had different experiences on getting their orders to their first duty station. A lot of his talks to me do end up him being worried about her having to do it all on her own. He remembers more how a PITA TMO is that she does, as her dad retired a lot earlier than his. (He actually told a cadet last year EMPTY YOUR TRASH CAN, they will pack it, he didn't, talked to my son and he said I told you so lol)
 
Same here with Kinnem, I wore a suit and tie with my wife wearing a nice dress. Kinnem is spot on “Sunday best “ is the way to go. Not sure of AF tradition but keep in mind you may be up in stage with him if you are pinning on his rank. Congratulations to you all.
 
Oh they should definitely be pinning on the Lt bars. I didn't get to do that. Mom pinned on one bar and his girlfriend pinned on the other. I got to help with his white gloves and cover. Six months later the girlfriend broke up with him. DAMN HER!!! :D
 
My DS commissioned last May...NROTC. I wore a dress and flats...men wore suits or sport coats. Sunday best is fine.

As far as the move, as soon as your son gets his orders...schedule...do not procrastinate. Depending on time of year, it can take some time...for my sons first move, it look 3 weeks from scheduling to pick up his stuff...he was already gone and had to arrange for someone to be there. It took almost 2 weeks from pick up to deliver. He packed what he would need immediately in his car...thank goodness for air mattresses. This move was South Bend to Pensacola. He just moved again at the end of March...got his orders on Wednesday...movers were there on Tuesday..so 6 days....and he moved on Thursday. The movers delivered the following Friday so this time was only 1 week without his stuff...this move was Pensacola to Corpus Christi. I can only say the sooner he schedules the better.
 
He called me yesterday, confirmed Sunday best also called today on way to pick up cap and gown LOL . So hopefully I still fit that dress ha ha! Right now he has it set for his little sister (11) to pin bars on his cover, his wife on shoulders. He MIGHT have his grandfather do one. My hubby is going in uniform, and is his first salute. Grandfather is 2nd, and the great grand dad who retired a chief is going to be there too. Graduation is huge I know, but the commissioning is just going to be amazing to see how he went from no military, to him and fiancee agreeing on him doing ROTC -their first adult joint agreement his grown up I love her, her opinion matters (they got married on 8th anniversary high school sweet hearts) to all of a sudden wanting to be a pilot. Missing it first round, but making supplemental. It's been an up and down GPA changing of majors (final major applied mathematics) Changing schools, missing a year of ROTC to get his AA to transfer to new University and through it all, he worked his tail off. And to top it all off, they just had their joint AROTC AFROTC awards companies giving little scholarships etc, and the school giving out 3 to only those in the top 25% of class. He won 1,000 for distinguished service in AFROTC! Ok, sorry I'm a pathetic sharing all his crap proud mom-forgive me, but that boy fought hard for all he wanted-on his own(well and his wife) Thanks for helping me out some. I think her mom and I will just drive to Tally and help his wife on her first not the daughter TMO move without her husband. First, and probably not last as we all know =o)
 
Oh, he will go as fast as he can, he just has to be in TX to start it, and she will be in Tallahassee. The stuff will probably get to him, before she does. He's already working with cadre to get all he needs for specific POA's for her, so she can get her ID card, and work easier with TMO. I was orginally going to say WOW 2 weeks for delivery? But realized the trek from South Bend to P-Cola (I'm about 30 mins from there) Summer moves are horrid, I don't know how other branches do it, but AF has started trying to do most during summer, we call is PCS season. But, when we retired last year, TMO was at our house in SC July 3 packing, 5th loading and unloading in here in FL on a Sat July 8. I really think that was fastest PCS ever. Of course it helped, we own our house here, so all we had to do was have our tenants out, no waiting for a house lol
 
A couple of things.
1. Congrats
2. The 1st salute.
~ Is your husband doing his oath?
~~ At our DS's they allowed them to do a private oath prior to the OFFICIAL commissioning. My DH (ret 05) did it. It was very emotional because they commissioned 25 yrs to the date, from the same AFROTC det. It was held at the AF memorial in DC, so there were strangers watching them. Thus, for my DS his 1st salute was to my DH.
~~~ If your DH is not giving the oath and their det does it like our DS's det. The unit will all stand up at the same time and take their oath of office. His 1st OFFICIAL salute will be to the NCOIC where he hands them his silver dollar.
3. Pinning on.
~ There are actually 4 people that can pin him on. He will be wearing his blues, including the jacket. For our DS, nobody did his cover, he did it. His GF (now wife) did one shoulder, I did the other. His brother and sister did the epaulets on his shirt.
~~ At his det. the commissioning cadet actually do not pin on new butter bars for their cover. As a POC a cadet commissioning that year will buy a butter bar for the cadet they have bonded with over the years. During those last 2 yrs. they wear inside the cover. On the day of their commissioning they then take that butter bar and use it after commissioning. In turn, the butter bar that they used for the OFFICIAL commissioning is handed over to another cadet in the det. You still buy the bars, but they never use it for themselves.
4. PCS
~ Since you stated that he is going to UPT and TX, the chances are he is going to He!! Rio. I highly doubt he is going to have any problem getting on base housing. Most UPT students are not married making the Qs more of a housing issue, and even with that the single ones that want BOQs get them.
~~ Bullet and I moved 11 times over 21 yrs. The only times we had TMO delivery issues were when we PCSd from overseas (UK and AK), otherwise our stuff was waiting for us before we got to the next base.
~ I would be wrong not to advise you that as newlyweds they should be financially savvy and do at least a partial DITY. I highly doubt that he is going to hit his weight limit for the move. If he is going to TX, fill that car up with as much as he can. Take it to a weight scale and weigh the car empty, than put in his luggage, play station games/console/controllers, towels, linens, pots, pans etc. Go back and weigh the car again.
~~~Be smart about it. Towels weigh nothing and takes up room in the car, but their 25lb dumbbell can fit under the car seat. TV may seem smart, but it is safer to have them move it...insurance reasons if it breaks, plus it takes up too much room. Plus, let's be real if he has to stay in the TLF for a few days, they have a tv, towels, etc.
~~~~ I would also say that depending on the moving company they maybe a stickler for the rules. No liquids, no open cereal, no spices (perishable, and also can create a rodent issue) Those items cost a lot to replace. If he DITYs than that 1/2 bottle of shampoo goes with him, and not in the garbage, and they will pay for it.
5. Orders
They CHANGE!
~ Typically he will get his RIP dropped 6-9 weeks prior to his PCS. This is also the time he can sign up for base housing.
~~ DS's changed 3 times.
6. POA
~ The AF is very protective over this aspect. He needs them to give her a SPECIAL POA. They do not like to do this at all. A SPECIAL allows her access to everything including his checking account. A regular POA might not be good enough if they are going to be in 2 sep. states.

Now in the end I have to agree with kinnem. It is great that you want to support them, but they are married, and at a certain point you need to step back. I mean this with the most kindness, but sometimes good intentions can feel over bearing and create resentment. Your DS is going to be in charge of a multi million dollar aircraft. Let me repeat that sentence...he is going to be in charge of a multi million dollar aircraft. Trust him. let him fly on his own and he will soar.
~ Yes, we, as parents want to be the net to catch them, but he has a wife now.
~ We will always be there when they need us, but when the bad flight happens, it will be her that he calls..

Trust me, I get it more than most ----DW of an AF officer (F15E WSO) for 21+ yrs, and now a Mom of an AF pilot.

I wish the best for your family
 
I appreciate your info on how soon your son's det got their orders. I wish my son's det got them that far out, he is less than 4 weeks out.
The commissioning between the det sounds totally different as well, I am glad your husband got to his oath, however as a SNCO, my husband just gets to salute, and yes, it will be him doing salute, and getting silver coin. And cover seems to be way different between the dets too. As I said, his sister is pinning on his cover. He got the info (and has seen 3 ceremonies) so, he made his choice of what he wanted to do.

The rest, I think somewhere you missed (not sure how when I mentioned first salute, and you said it in your post) that I too, although now retired, am a military spouse.
The type of answers/tips you gave, were not something I asked or needed, shoot, he doesn't even need it. He lived it.

I came asking about dress code, and thought hey, while I'm here, lets see if anyone knows some of what he hasn't been able to find out yet, and somehow to some that equals me shoot I dunno what yall think, do things for him? Run his life? Be a mom that imposes on his marriage?!?
I didn't ask how he should set up TMO, I didn't ask how he should get his wife an ID card, I didn't ask how he should set up to be at his first base on time, I didn't ask how he needs to enroll his wife into DEERS, or any other of the multitude of things he has to do, that he knows exactly what to do, and OMG if he has questions, guess who he calls?!? ME! OMG if SHE has questions, guess who one of the people she calls is??!? ME!

I appreciate the answers to info I was really hoping for, especially dress (that of course he found out after I asked) I really do. But, if my child AND his spouse feel comfortable asking me a question they aren't sure of, there is no problem with me answering them, or even saying hey...I don't know, you work your resources and I'll find some too. It has nothing to do with not letting go, or not letting him grow up, or feeling like I need to be his net. It's about respect, knowledge, and love. They know they can come to me. Because you know what she would be doing if she didn't have me and her parents? Joining one of the FB Spouse pages, where you never know if your going to make a friend, or get attacked. He would be asking same questions, of either now, cadre, or in TX, however, possibly his maybe sponsor, or it could turn up like a lot of times, your sponsor just is worthless. They have a bank of information at their fingertips, from people they love and trust. And there's not a darn thing wrong with them, or me working with them to find out an answer, or someone elses experience. Yes, I lashed out, quit assuming things, and that is what was done here. A mom asks questions-oh lets tell her to let him grow up, he's going to call his wife now not you- btw yes, he will call his wife first-but you can also bet as long as it's not a weekend, and he can find the time he's going to call me. Just like he does now. Her first, me second, it's him, what he does, and as long as she is first not a thing wrong with it.

And, trust me, we know, and so does my son. While he's going to be the pilot, he knows, without maintenance, he wouldn't be flying anything. A rare gift for a new pilot.
DW USAF R/SMSgt 462/2w1 (weapons F-16 AC130 Spectre) 25+years
DD USAF R/MSgt F-15 Crew Chief
DGD USAF R/CMSgt
My son may be changing the legacy, but we are a legacy, we get it more than most.
May look snarky, but all I did was same as you, just with rest of family. Things to think about before you post.
 
My son comissions May 11 and supposed to go to UPT in mid June. From what I read, when you to move, you are supposed to go to the base's moving office ( i am sure it has a real name) and get permission and forms to do the DITY moving. However, when you when you go from from home to your first base (the moving office headed by my wife said yes:) ) there is no one to ask. I am sure I am asking this wrong, but can you do the DITY move without getting official permission to do so. I read up on getting your car weighed in an offical place with no gas and then have it weighed with a full tank and everything you plan to move. They all say to do this as you can makes some money on the deal. Our issue is the car in now back east and will have to be driven back to California after graduation. Then in June he is going to have to drive from California to UPT . That is a crazy lot of mileage and driving. Our thought is to drive the car after graduation to a city close to his UPT base and leave in in storage for a month. Then he would fly to that city in June and drive the rest of the way to his UPT base. That would probably mean he wouldnt getting any money for the move. One, because the distance between storage and base will probably be under 4 hours if not less and more importantly I doubt he has more than 150 pounds of stuff to bring anyway. Dont know if they reimburse for flight, but that would probably be the only real expense. Would lose out on moving money but definitely save mileage and time . He was supposed to go in October and all of sudden they moved it to June. Driving back and forth wouldnt have been such an issue over three months, but driving from East to West in May and then West to East again in June is crazy.
 
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