CVW - mom/grandma not approving

I was your mom. I knew the service academies were prestigious. I knew it was an honor to get in but really? The Navy? Sentry duty at the gate? Stuck at sea for months? Really?

You see when you send your child to college, you are sending them to college. They can come home if they fail a test or someone breaks their heart. You can can sneak up and surprise them by decorating their dorm room for their birthday. You can send a sibling up to stay with them for the weekend. You have long semester breaks where your kid can still take family vacations.... switch to a local college if the family needs them.... or come home to do their laundry if the school is close enough. But they are still your kid! The perception we have (I had) is that when they walk into Bancroft on I day, they are no longer your kid because now they belong to the Navy and the US Government! That was a hard pill to swallow!

But then there is love. I love my daughter and want her happiness more than I want my own. And then there is logic. It isn't my life to live it is hers. So I came around. Especially after CVW. I fully support her and want it because she wants it. She teases me and says that I'm more anxious about waiting for an appointment than she is. She teases me about being on this forum. What she doesn't get - yet anyway - is that this is called being a parent. I will be the best damn Mid parent, but I would also be the best damn college parent, or waitress' parent, or grandma, or whatever she chooses for her life because I'm her mom and that's just what we do. Finally, the little town of Annapolis sells itself. It is adorable!

Good luck but I'm not sure you'll need it... if the Academy is sending you invitations to visit you are the type of kid who has a lot of options and a lot on the ball. You will be successful whichever path you take.
 
I think Just Dad has addressed the salient points parents and graduates should consider when looking at the Naval Academy though I thought I might add this small story for what it’s worth. A young woman I have known for years has come up through the ranks at a very large and reputable company and now does the hiring and firing for a division of some six- hundred people. She has described to me how she interviews, on a daily basis, recent graduates from many of the elite universities. These applicants may have the education but because they lack the experience she cannot hire them. Combine that with the crushing debt that accompanies so many of these young men and women and Mom and Grandma may begin to understand why the best and the brightest are headed to Annapolis on June 29th.
 
Misconceptions about the military abound.

When I went to work for USAA, a company that serves military, veterans and their families, all new employees had to go through a week of New Employee training, no matter their previous experience or level of position for which hired. All in the same class, the new VP or entry-level hire.

Much time every day was spent on learning about the military, its culture and its people, so as to better understand and serve USAA's members. MREs were served. Veterans led discussions.

The first day, we did an exercise where we made lists of common beliefs about the military and discussed them. Given my full Navy career background, I was pretty amazed by what I heard but not surprised. I realized people got a lot of ideas from, yes, the movies! The facilitators had stats, testimonials and bios of USAA employees refuting the bulk of the misconceptions - myth-busters.

Some were:
- there's a lot of yelling and inane physical stuff
- rigid thinkers all, in an inflexible power hierarchy
- no understanding of officer and enlisted jobs and responsibilities
- women and minorities are harassed and assaulted a lot
- poorly educated or degrees from diploma mills
- no other options ("jail or the Navy"), last resort
- non-stop exposure to sudden death
- no preparation or skills that are useful in the civilian world
- a negative part of a civilian work resumé
- "not what our family does," "nice girls don't join the military"
- your co-workers are violent drones
- everyone does physical labor as a major part of their job
- leaders are mean, abusive, biased, and on a power trip
- non-stop cursing, drinking, rough behavior
- like to kill people
- caveman-level healthcare
- the money is awful, few benefits
- no control over your career
- can't have a family life
- and from my mother's most genteel, old-school Southern lady friend, back in the day, "won't those ropes ruin her hands?" And "how will she meet a nice boy to marry?"

From the vets or spouses on here, others you have heard from family or friends?

There may be snippets of truth here, as with any stereotype, and those are also true of other non-uniformed occupations.

People just get ideas in their head, and movies over the years have helped build up some exaggerated descriptions.
 
kinnem said:
To get back on track a bit, maybe Dad can help you convince Mom. DS wanted to enlist in the Marine Corps immediately after high school. Mom was dead set against it. I kept telling her privately that when he graduated he would be 18, and could do whatever he wanted without her say so. It took a while but eventually she came around with the proviso that he go to college first and go in as an officer. That's when he started looking into NROTC and the academy. Dad may also have a better handle on what it means to be in the military and can help explain that to Mom.

Above all, you need to be respectful and make your case maturely. You're not going to swing Mom to your side by arguing with her. Oh, I forgot, it doesn't matter what grandma thinks.
Click to expand...
Haha why doesn't it matter what my grandma thinks?
 
che527 said:
Haha why doesn't it matter what my grandma thinks?
Click to expand...
Because grandma can't keep you from pursuing your dream. Parents can if you're still a minor at the time. If you're over 18 at the time then you can do whatever you like. Your parents might be angry or otherwise upset, but there is actually nothing that can stop you from doing it if that's what you want.
 
che527 said:
I just got an invitation today for the Candidate Visit Weekend at the Naval Academy. I forwarded the email to my mom and dad - with only my dad supporting me and wanting me to go. I submitted a request form and all, but now I fear that I'll end up wasting my spot if my mom will not let me go. My grandma also does not approve of the military career for me either. Any advice?
Click to expand...
che527 said:
I just got an invitation today for the Candidate Visit Weekend at the Naval Academy. I forwarded the email to my mom and dad - with only my dad supporting me and wanting me to go. I submitted a request form and all, but now I fear that I'll end up wasting my spot if my mom will not let me go. My grandma also does not approve of the military career for me either. Any advice?
Click to expand...

I'm in a similar situation as you are in. Most of my family supports me going to USNA (and the CVW/NASS during my junior year) but I had a few family members who were also dead set against it. At the end of the day, it's up to what you want to do with you life. CVW was a great weekend and I learned a lot about the academy as a drag, but this isn't a requirement to receive an appointment to USNA; the same is true for NASS. Going to CVW and NASS can be expensive depending on where you are coming from so if that's why they are against it, then just remember that NASS and CVW aren't necessary for admission.

However, if you're dad is in your corner for going to either NASS or CVW, then I would definitely try to use his support to go to both. Both NASS and CVW are amazing experiences that I will never forget. It would be completely worthwhile to go just for the experience. However, with the big picture in mind, if you truly want to go to USNA, then pursue that dream. I couldn't imagine being in a normal college and wondering about what could have been. It is YOUR life; your family's opinion is important, but they should be supporting your dream of going. (Especially since the application to USNA is free) If you got into the academy, I'm certain that even if they don't support it at first, they will still proudly say that their kid is going to the Naval Academy. Keep your hopes high is all that I can tell you; I started right where you are now just a year ago and after sticking with it through the entire application process, I received an appointment to USNA. Today my grandmother who was opposed me going is starting to come around.

I wish you the best of luck in your application process and I sincerely hope that you take the opportunity to go to CVW, that you go to NASS, and get into the Class of 2022 (just a guess)
 
Take advantage of all opportunities offered to you. I went to CVW last September and I enjoyed the time. Everyone needs to keep an open mind. I think people "judge a book by its cover" is because they can't read. Stay positive and good luck!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top