Dad Joke thread (everybody welcome)

[Devil Doc]

Anybody, and everybody, are you interested in a dad joke thread? And I don't mean just dads telling our magnificent jokes but everybody jump in and tell jokes about dads. I'll start.

Not really a joke but I'm the OP. I wore a Dad Joke Champion T-shirt to see my grandsons a few weeks ago. I told them what it said and meant.

Me: It means I have the best jokes.

My 4 year old grandson: Without batting an eye, looked up at me and said, "Tell us one."

I couldn't think of an appropriate joke to save my life. My 6 year old ran off to get a joke book and we spent the next 15 minutes reading jokes.

 

[OldRetSWO]

Q: Why did the Chicken cross the road
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A: To avoid listening to Dad jokes

 

[USAFA_86]

I don't know if this counts, but my dad told me that the best way to introduce myself was:

"How much does a polar bear weigh?
Enough to break the ice. Hi my name is..."

 

[brewmeist]

The memory is the second thing to go.

I forgot what the first thing is...

 

[Devil Doc]

Good ones.

 

[THParent]

I made a pencil with an eraser on both ends.


It was pointless.

 

[THParent]

Yesterday, I cut some wood just by looking at it.



I swear! I saw it with my own eyes.

 

[Twins4us]

I taught my boys to always have a "dad joke" at the ready when interviewing. It points to your ability to think quickly when asked, "Tell me a joke." With that said, here is my go-to joke.

Q - Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize?
A - Because he was outstanding in his field.

 

[Twins4us]

Might as well meld two threads together right quick...

Q - I saw a fir tree with bacon growing from it the other day.
A - Turned out to be a porkypine.

 

[THParent]

I was looking on all the TV channels for the 2021 World Origami Championships, but couldn't find it anywhere.

I should have known that it would be on paperview !

 

[brewmeist]

Maybe more of a chef joke than a dad joke...

It was so cold out this morning, the chicken crossing the road had a capon!

 

[FutureAcademyDad?]

I wish Covid-19 had started in Las Vegas.

Because what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas

 

[usafcellist2026]

I wish Covid-19 had started in Las Vegas.

Because what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas

Whoa there... I live in Vegas...

 

[Devil Doc]

What did the banana say to the dog?


Nothing. Bananas can’t talk.

 

[THParent]

What's brown and sticky?


A stick.

 

[FutureAcademyDad?]

Why did the dad cross the road?


Because that is where he hid the remote control.

 

[Dad_2024]

A Dad fish and his son were swimming along and the Dad bumps his head into a concrete wall, looks at his son and says, "Dam!"

 

[kinnem]

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back to you?



A stick

 

[Dad_2024]

How many of each kind of animal did Moses have on the Ark?



0, Noah did the Ark

 

[EEBTTF]

What do soldiers do when they find a scorpion in their tent?


In the Marines, they kill the scorpion.
In the Army, they call their CO and report the presence of the scorpion.
In the Air Force, he calls the front desk and asks why there’s a tent in his room.