Dad Joke thread (everybody welcome)

[Rach3]

 

[VelveteenR]

 

[flieger83]

View attachment 17653

Okay, that literally had me laughing!

Good one!!

 

[StPaulDad]

Wow, it's been a busy month here in Dadland. Well done everyone. Speaking of which...


I cooked a medium-rare steak for my friend, and he said, “I like it Well Done.”
I said, “Thanks buddy. That means a lot.”

 

[Devil Doc]

People think my nose is running but it'snot.

 

[Mallard Duck]

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon today. I'll let you know.

The suspense is egg-scrutiating.
Knowing Amazon, they will get there at the ..........eggzact same time!

 

[DA2029]

Do you know why the detectvies dropped the case about the missing toilet?
"There was nothing to go on."

 

[Mallard Duck]

Do you know why the detectvies dropped the case about the missing toilet?
"There was nothing to go on."

Too messy, couldn't go with the flow, so they flushed it.

 

[Rach3]

We celebrated last night with a couple of adult beverages ...... Metamucil and Ensure.

 

[flieger83]

Okay, perhaps not "DAD" jokes but...

 

[Rach3]

 

[Devil Doc]

I saw a coupon for a discount on a vasectomy.

I clipped it.

 

[Rach3]

I saw a coupon for a discount on a vasectomy.

I clipped it.
View attachment 17715

OUCH!!!

 

[VelveteenR]

I paid good money to have DH spayed after DS was born. Who knew Home Depot would have been cheaper?

 

[Devil Doc]

 

[Capt MJ]

What Dad tells some of the jokes above to the people who call him “Dad?!” Must be their grown kids.

 

[OneLink96]

Here’s a PG one (that may already be here somewhere):

Why could the pirate not say the alphabet?

He kept getting “lost at C.”

 

[Adira]

My dad just sent me this.

 

[flieger83]

 

[Devil Doc]

I keep all my dad jokes in a:

Dad-a-Base