"Devastating"? I know no polite way of responding to the use of that word in this case. I hesitate to even try because I know I can't and I have nothing but respect for your family members' service and aspirations.
Devastation is a young woman or man in a cemetary holding a child with one hand a flag with the other...and a whole lot of other things.
I am not singling you out. If nothing else, it made me look in the mirror.
Oh my! I apologize for my lack of clarity on my original post!! Yikes!!! I guess it boils down to this…after following the several threads on this topic, I thought I would throw in a micro view, a
micro view of the looming budget cut effects, as relates to
possible effects on various programs that are represented in my immediate family. I have never in a minute ignored, dismissed, or was otherwise small-mindedly concerned only with the personal effects of budget cuts! Goodness…
Many posters on this forum have offered up a lot of speculation and some hard and fast information regarding this topic – my post was a reaction to all that in that it brought up questions on a, I’ll say it again,
micro level. I did not mean to come off as small-minded and ignorant of the bigger picture regarding the budget cuts, yet I evidently did. And for that, I am deeply sorry.
It seems my usage of the word “devastating” in my post has caused a rather strong reaction. I would like to change that word, for the record, to “messed up” – messed up on the MICRO level If one or more of those things I mentioned would come to pass, it would be "mess up" …for us, for the kid, for the 92 year old, yet the “mess upness” would reach only as far as our immediate family. We work hard, either individually or as a family, to find solutions, workarounds, a different path… without upsetting everyone else’s apple carts.
Aglahad: “Don't expect the government or military to hold your hand for the rest of your life. Nothing will be handed to you in the civilian world, if you don't perform they let you go.”
Believe me…I and my entire family know only to stand on our own and never ever expect or even desire someone to “hold our hands.” Of the six mentioned who are AD currently, formerly, or “only” on the journey towards it…nothing has come easy and nothing was handed to any of them…ever. And as for the rest of us in the family, the civilian side, no hand-outs here either…ever wanted or given. Including the two youngest, who have Down syndrome.
I think that the more people there are in a family, the more chances of things going off the track for the family; they are a bigger target and there are more of them taking roads less traveled – and so even after much blood, sweat, tears, literally, and utilization of all kinds of research tools, including this Forum, there have been plenty of times where through absolutely no fault or oversight of the kid or the adult – but instead GLITCHES IN THE SYSTEM – glitches in several instances deemed very out of the ordinary by the SYSTEM, blame taken by the SYSTEM – have derailed the initial, the secondary, the tertiary, even the quad-whateverry plan. And what has happened in those because-we-are-a-large-family-and-big-target frequent instances? The kid sometimes with, sometimes without, help from the adult, finds a different way. There have been many derailments along the way, but never a surrender of the bigger goals – which is and has been for four of the older kids to serve their country first in the military and then in the civilian world someday. In some of my previous posts I have given details and asked guidance regarding only some of these “derailments.” And those I’ve shared here are only the very tip of the iceberg. Aglahad you probably have guessed by now that you have in fact found kar57’s wasp’s nest and given it a jab with your statement “Don't expect the government or military to hold your hand for the rest of your life. Nothing will be handed to you in the civilian world, if you don't perform they let you go.”
Bruno: To clarify, you said, “92 year old Dad isn't going to lose his pension.”
It’s my Mom – the 92 year old Army veteran having served in the WAC in WWII. And yes, she has indeed lost the VA pension before, not once but twice, and has only been receiving it for less than five years …on and off. Here’s the background. She and my Dad met while serving together (he, too, was enlisted Army in WWII) and married in 1945. They both were honorably discharged back when and he worked for Ford for many years and then followed his passion, not his pocketbook, into the world of newspaper journalism and for 30 years was the editor and publisher of a very small town weekly newspaper in the Midwest. While in his early 80’s he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Two years ago, at age 88, he passed away – Mom and Dad had been married for 65 years. A friend of theirs, an old Navy guy, had told them about VA benefits they could apply for – based on medical and financial need. That was about 7 years ago. I was the one who took it from there – researching, calling, writing, filling out form after form, being present for interviews and medical exams – at one point I was required to send in 1,000 pages of documentation – that is not a typo…one thousand pages – and then after almost 2 years of this “application process” – while Dad struggled mightily with his Alzheimer’s and still “cared” for Mom in their home 6 hours north of me, they were approved for Aid and Attendance pension. But it had taken too long and their situation became too precarious – financially and medically, and there was no end in sight to the requests for more information and for further review of the file, we had no choice to get them out of their house, somewhere safe, where they would receive the care and financial help they desperately needed – and so my husband and I built an addition on to our house and moved them in where I became their 24/7 caregiver – 4 ½ years ago. During their time here, the pension was first granted, then taken away, and then they were made to pay back what had been paid out to them, and then an “apology letter” came saying it was a
glitch in the system. And after the arrival of the letter, months later, the pension was reinstated. “Hurry up and wait” with all kinds of extra “disappointment” and I’d say tragic results, the “pay this back” letter came two weeks before my father passed away and although he didn’t know anything about it or much else for that matter, my mother did –she was required to sign her name on one of the forms. It was nightmarish. At any rate, I don’t, my children don’t, we as a family DON’T trust/rely on the military/government for hand-holding, or hand-outs, or have expectations of automatically/indefinitely keeping what has already been hard-fought for.
Thus,
-I leave most of the VA pension money in Mom’s account, untouched, in the not-so-unusual event that the VA will ask for it all back.
-My PLC son (former USNA candidate, former NROTC college programmer) will serve in the military and will put his Civil Engineering degree to use – somehow, some way. With the tightening of the budget belt in 2013 and drawdown in the military, PLC candidate with everything else good-to-go, not receiving a commission in 2014? After living life and observing life in this family, I see this as possible. And yes, that will be a messed up thing for him. But he is aware of this and making the smart decisions now.
-The Foundation Prep son (high grades in top-rated high school in the state and now, again, high grades in prep program, making the Supe’s list first semester, receiving an additional academic scholarship and fitness scholarship in first semester…yet mediocre SAT/ACT tests in h.s. and now, again, in prep program – problematic? Don’t know. Will he be denied again for a USNA appointment in April? Reducing numbers at the Academy has been a popular topic on this Forum. Again, not out of the realm of possibility given my experiences, my kids’ experiences, with derailments. Messed up for him? Yes. But then, he, too, maintains his goal to serve in the military, one way or another, and get a college degree, one way or another.
-Derailments for the married military couple (Marine and SEAL with baby on the way)? Personally and professionally? Common. Solutions and changes and work-arounds? Every time. Because of the nature of their jobs, I only mentioned in the original post some “mild” concerns as relates to the budget cuts regarding lives- but what weighs more heavily on me, our family, as Bruno pointed out is “the effect on the country. Our idiot politicians never understand the impact of their actions. They will still expect their soldiers to be "johnny on the spot" for their favorite crisis-du jour. They will still send soldiers, hips & airplanes into harms way, but that equipment will very likely be marginally maintained, and the people will be much less well trained. Then when they get all those soldier boys into a situation in which people will die because of those shortfalls.” Yes…that
is the bigger picture that IS devastating on a national level. It IS what keeps ME up nights.
In addition to the quite-possible-in-our-experience-so-far effects on folks close to me.
I would apologize for the long post, but it seems my short post is what got this whole misunderstanding started.
Bottom line, deep budget cuts concern many. My family and I included.