Enlisted and NROTC Midshipman Relationship

Joined
Jan 2, 2021
Messages
15
Currently in a difficult situation, and I am taking it to this trusted and reliable community.

I am a 4/C MIDN in NROTC ( Navy option currently on prep year, so next I'll be a 4/C again according to the Navy), and I'm talking to this one girl who is an E-3. I have been taking it cautiously at the moment, but I never could find an defined answer to if this relationship could work out. On other forum sites, I have seen answers ranging from "No, it's fraternization" to "You can marry her right before commissioning." On one forum, I saw that a Marine option girl married an enlisted marine just before she commissioned as a 2nd LT.

I am too scared to talk to my advisor about, but I got a couple questions: Will this relationship work, and if so, how? If I swapped to Marine option, could this work since its been done before?
 

Capt MJ

Formerly Known As Attila The Hunnette
10-Year Member
Joined
Sep 27, 2008
Messages
15,026
Currently in a difficult situation, and I am taking it to this trusted and reliable community.

I am a 4/C MIDN in NROTC ( Navy option currently on prep year, so next I'll be a 4/C again according to the Navy), and I'm talking to this one girl who is an E-3. I have been taking it cautiously at the moment, but I never could find an defined answer to if this relationship could work out. On other forum sites, I have seen answers ranging from "No, it's fraternization" to "You can marry her right before commissioning." On one forum, I saw that a Marine option girl married an enlisted marine just before she commissioned as a 2nd LT.

I am too scared to talk to my advisor about, but I got a couple questions: Will this relationship work, and if so, how? If I swapped to Marine option, could this work since its been done before?
It’s the military, there will be written policies.

First, your future NROTC unit will have a unit handbook or organization manual or separate policy statement. Go find it online.

There is also the NROTC parent command policy:

Trying to switch to another career path for this reason is not good head work right now. Ditto the marriage thing.

Technically, you will be the senior in this relationship. You have to think about the other person’s welfare too. You do not want to endanger their career.

Talk with your adviser. That is what they are there for. Tell them you are in the very early stages of a possible relationship, and you realized you should stop and get direction from a primary official source before it gets any deeper. They know you are new to all this.
 

UHBlackhawk

5-Year Member
Joined
Sep 22, 2015
Messages
1,925
Capt MJ has good advice as always.
I would also recommend reading the Navy regulations but also talk to a JAG. I have found that many do not really understand the entire fraternization policy beyond the initial “thou shalt not…” There are usually some caveats.
The Army regulation, for example, states that if a relationship is pre existing when one partner becomes a Cadet or attends OCS the relationship may continue until the Cadet/officer candidate changes status (gets commissioned), then the couple has a year to change status, either get married, break up, or one partner leaves the military. His makes sense…. Think of two Cadets/Midshipmen dating who are in different years. The military does not force them to break up when one is commissioned, so as long as the relationship is disclosed it is normally permitted.
Again, this is the Army policy, not necessarily the Navy policy.
 

USNA_STEM_Prof

USN CDR / USNA PROF 2024 / NROTC 2005 / Prior E
Joined
Jan 23, 2022
Messages
85
Is she an E-3 at your unit? If she's a STA-21 selectee then there's more parity between you two. You also shouldn't be scared to talk to your advisor. I know it can be intimidating and not all leaders are good ones but if you can't come to your CoC for guidance, what are they there for?

That said, just don't do it. And don't switch your service option for this reason. Nothing about your post gives me the "warm fuzzy" as we say.
 
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