Personally, when I had children I got out after 13 years to raise my kids.
This is very true for many people at different points of their life.
Bullet could have stayed in or gotten different commands, but they came with a price, and that price was up rooting the kids within a yr at middle/high school grades. We sat down together and made a decision together. He rejected command offers because he could not ask the kids to move 7 months later.
He bailed (retired) because if he stayed we knew that we would litter our children across the country. As a cadet think about it, if your folks move to a new state while you are a C4C would you have any friends there? Of course not! You would have no ties to that town, except for your family. That new base would not be home to you, for you your friends would be in the town you graduated from and at 18/19 you want them more than the folks. Now, understand that as parents you could retire in VA, Child 1 graduated in TX, Child 2 graduated in CA and Child 3 graduated in FL. None of you would be near each other and the children who may not go military will live their lives and rarely see their siblings in the different state.
I am a brutally honest person. I will say that Bullet could have gone much farther in his career, but I held him back. I happily moved and wiped tears away from our kids eyes, but I did put my foot down when he approached 19 and said we will be old and gray "do you want to visit our children living in different states?" "Do you want to litter them around the world for you?" He was offered a command 8 mos after hitting the station, but we would have had to move again. It would have been the
3rd HS for DS1 as a Soph. On top of that we would PCS again before he graduated. In other words at least
4 HS, MAYBE 5! I just could not do that no matter how much Bullet loved the AF. Bullet also decided that no matter how much he loved the AF he loved us more.
I know that is harsh, but it is also important to understand what the family members give up so you can live your dream.
I have no regrets because I am a vocal spouse, and I loved every minute, but like I said I believe I called the ball and told Bullet it is now time to understand we as a family put life on hold for your dream, and the dream needs to end. I gave up a career,the kids moved and made new friends all for "your dream". No regrets, because without his dream I would have never lived in England, the kids would have never seen AK or KS or NC. HOWEVER, it is important to acknowledge that you are a family. We may suck it in and follow you around to follow your dream, but we are not baggage.
I think it is also important to listen to the spouse. If she hates the life don't fool yourself, she is not going to change and your marriage will suck. I was fortunate, Bullet always included my opinions in his decisions, down to the pt where he would call and say I have a good deal TDY do you mind if I go? (I always laughed, always said yes, but I appreciated him asking).Military marriages fail IMHO because the AD member is self absorbed and believes their career takes priority over the family.
I loved every second, maybe if we had kids later (I was pregnant with DS 1 when Bullet was an O1---born when he was O2, DD when he was O2 and DS2 when he was O3) I would have said "YES" to PCSing 7 months later, but had we accepted the assignment our eldest would have gone to
4 High Schools in 4 yrs, and the military is not worth that toll on a child.
I met Bullet the night after my HS graduation, we were college sweethearts. I remember walking down the aisle and my biggest concern was he would die in a crash. 20 yrs later and I realize that my fear was idiotic. I CHOSE to marry him, OUR children had no choice. They were forced to live the military life, not only that but at a young age they were expected to understand crap (PCS, TDY and REMOTES) that adults have problems with reconciliation.
Want to know who the real military heroes are? The children because they never had a choice or an option, they just accepted this is life, be it 8 schools or moving as a jr in hs and missing prom, they just said OKAY! Imagine moving as a jr in MAY you can't take the SAT because you are living in a hotel and in a new town, thus you are forced to wait until September when the SAT board starts again....SORRY you are behind the 8 ball, because you moved!