Getting Cold Feet

Navy_Simp

Navy_Simp

USNA Class of 2026
Joined
Dec 3, 2021
Messages
61
Let me preface this by saying I am going to go, if for no other reason than because I don’t want to regret not going.

I accepted my offer of appointment back in December, and going to USNA has been a dream of mine for years. But as we rapidly approach I-Day, and the realization of what I’m about to do is setting in, I’m becoming more nervous about what this all entails. I am not from a military family, and am also a first generation college student. I have no experience in either of these fields and have nobody in my close circle who relates to what I want to do. I think I do want to be in the military, and I know the USNA is a great institution, but the way people describe it is just…saddening?

I’ve heard about the cynicism, the collective suck, and the grind of being there. Does being at USNA really suck that bad? My goal isn’t to have fun in college, but I am still a human who wants to be thrown a bone every now and then. What’s the point of going to USNA if I am to be miserable for 4 years of my life?

Perhaps it’s just my nerves getting to me about plebe summer but this is the biggest commitment I’ve ever signed up for in my life, and I want to make sure it’s right for me.

Any insight into the environment, challenges, and wellbeing of mids at USNA would be highly appreciated. Also, are any other 2026 Appointees feeling this way?
 
Hey! Fellow Plebe-2-Be here! I'm just as nervous as you are. What doesn't help is people telling me that I can "opt out" whenever I want.

However, I like to think of plebe summer as a really fun summer camp where you can do obstacle courses, you get to learn to sail, learn basic navy facts, and the camp counselors (aka the detailers) have a genuine interest in our well-being, safety, and they want to help us grow as leader and individuals.

Getting nerves is a good thing, it means you truly care. I would just take it day-by-day until I-day. Feel free to pm me if you wanna chat or something :)
 
Fear (or over confidence) before a big tough event is normal.

I am going to take a guess here.

When you get to USNA you will get yelled at ordered around, made to feel confused or overwhelmed, it’s part of the theater everyone goes thru. No one is really mad at you. And everyone gets this.

Once you get there you will have a room mate. My guess is that for you a prior enlisted Napster or regular Napster will ne your first room mate. Listen to them. Follow them like a puppy. They are going to help you get thru this.

On IDay the napsters will be easy to identify by their tshirts.

If mine could make it thru pleb year you can.
 
Said you and everyone else who has gone to I-Day.

You may take solace in the fact that your misgivings or trepidations are not new to the planet. At some point on that very first day you will wonder "why did I ever sign up for this?" You must know that when that happens, the person standing on your left and the person standing on your right are thinking the very same thing. It's okay. Plebe Summer is not bad. It is what you make of it. Plebe Summer is more of a test of your Detailers and their ability to execute the teaching that they have received there - in order to lead - than it is of you. Four years is not a lot of time for the Navy to make you an officer of the type this country needs. It will be like drinking from a fire hose at first, but it gets better.

You will make lifelong friends. You will grow as a person and be better prepared to take on the World than most college graduates. You will begin to see the civilian population as "soft" and grow to have a certain amount of disdain for them. That part will lessen over time and you will realize that you're doing what you're doing for them and it's a good thing for everyone because - hold on - you're actually good at what you do. How did that happen? It happens that fast. You can trust me on that.

I am a Marine. It does not define me as a human being and many people I meet never know it because I feel it's not important to them to know that unless they ask. I don't wear hats or shirts with Ooh Rah slogans on them, nor do I have bumper stickers on my car or fly a Marine Corps flag in my yard. That is not to say that I think less of my fellow Marines if they do all those things, that's not my point. My point is that it doesn't define me in my mind but it still does. There are things about me (good things, I assure you) that the Corps "did to me" that still make me chuckle to this day. The "military" made me better, is what I'm trying to say. I did not decide to make a career out of it but if I had, I would have been good at it.

The point is, I went though the sucky parts too, but my attitude at the time was that these parts suck because they're supposed to. They are making me into what they need and in the bargain I get something back.

Decades later I would do it all over again. That part of my life I have never once regretted.

Stow your feelings and get on with it. You'll be fine. You wouldn't have gotten an Offer of Appointment if they didn't believe that you would succeed there. Go, and show them that they were right.
 
Your feelings are normal. They are also feelings that your firiends going to regular college are/will experiencing, too. Your whole life you have been under the direction of others (parents). Now, it’s time to spread your wings and become a real adult. And that’s scary no matter where you are going.

Ive got a graduating firstie. He is SO HAPPY right now. We have been reflecting during our conversations of late, over the past 4 years. And what he brings up in convo’s are the MANY good times. The happy times. Amazing times. Ive also got a youngster that went through some intense stuff, but stuck with it. Now he is living his best life. And chooses to not come home for breaks, and instead stay and hang out and do fun stuff with buddies. He says his life is very similar to his ‘not college’ friends in the social arena, if not better bc of the opportunities unique to USNA that he has.

Do you talk about how amazing your high school years were? Or do you complain? It’s in our nature to verbalize the ‘bad’ and take for granted the ‘good’. There is lots and lots of good. You just don’t hear of it on a forum or group discussion. I also guarantee if you were at regular college, you would find some miserable.

If you are nervous about plebe summer? Don’t be. All you do is what they tell you. Period. That’s easy. And once it’s over, you will realize how quick it went.

Nervous is normal.
 
Watch some videos of MIDN "one second of every day" ... there are lots of smiles and laughing in there.

I went to a CIV college (top 10 engineering) and I had to grind to get work done. Sometimes were tough and I didn't have the SA aspects, nor the service commitment (which in some respects could make it more relaxing - you have a job). But keep in mind that you have chosen what I, and many, consider a higher calling and that can motivate people to do amazing things. I suspect you will do great and impress yourself with what you can achieve.
 
Navy_Simp said:
Let me preface this by saying I am going to go, if for no other reason than because I don’t want to regret not going.

I accepted my offer of appointment back in December, and going to USNA has been a dream of mine for years. But as we rapidly approach I-Day, and the realization of what I’m about to do is setting in, I’m becoming more nervous about what this all entails. I am not from a military family, and am also a first generation college student. I have no experience in either of these fields and have nobody in my close circle who relates to what I want to do. I think I do want to be in the military, and I know the USNA is a great institution, but the way people describe it is just…saddening?

I’ve heard about the cynicism, the collective suck, and the grind of being there. Does being at USNA really suck that bad? My goal isn’t to have fun in college, but I am still a human who wants to be thrown a bone every now and then. What’s the point of going to USNA if I am to be miserable for 4 years of my life?

Perhaps it’s just my nerves getting to me about plebe summer but this is the biggest commitment I’ve ever signed up for in my life, and I want to make sure it’s right for me.

Any insight into the environment, challenges, and wellbeing of mids at USNA would be highly appreciated. Also, are any other 2026 Appointees feeling this way?
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Go back and read the essays you submitted to nom sources and USNA. Think all about the responses you gave in interviews. Remind yourself that presumably you went through this complex application process to reach your goal of being prepared to serve as a Navy or Marine officer. That is the real goal, right? If that’s what you want, then this is one of the ways to get there. As the SEALs say, “The only easy day was yesterday.”

You only live 1 day at a time. Sometimes it’s best managed in even shorter periods! Minutes, if it’s that kind of day. You can do that.

A wise boss once told me, “You will never have 100% of the information you think you need to make a decision. You have to listen to brain, heart and gut, and be happy with 60% or less some times. If you make the wrong decision, own it, fix it, learn from it.” This will happen over and over again in your life with big decisions. It’s normal!

You have too much time to think about this. You have been absorbing other people’s impressions. You will experience this as YOU, uniquely. It does not suck 100% of the time. You have control about how you feel about things. You can choose to feel negative. Or not.

Once you get to I-Day and PS, you will be too mentally and physically tired to chase this around your brain. You will be in it and living it, and that is a huge leap from where you are today. You will be surrounded by people going through their version of the same thing. You will bond, laugh, cry and complain endlessly together.

It gets better. You do not live all 4 years at once. There is Plebe Summer, which is different from Plebe Year, which is different from the other 3 years. You will gain confidence with each phase, figure out how to handle it along with 1100-1200 other people.

There is a reason for the suck. It prepares you for when things REALLY suck, you know you can handle it. Most of USNA’s suck is due to inconvenience, discomfort and frustration. When things really suck (you will recognize this when you are in it, because your situation is truly dire), you will be able to call up the grit, perseverance and sheer will that carried you through the next 4 years and beyond.

Here is some interesting reading for you, from someone who also went through the same 4 years at USNA.



Are you the master of your fate?
 
Let’s start with a basic premise: War is a horrible, terrible thing. It is to be endured and survived, with victory in hand at the end. So it should not be surprising that the process of preparing to lead others in wartime — in its own relatively benign way — is something to be endured and survived. The SAs exist to train warriors, so by definition that should be no walk in the park.

There’s another prominent USNA thread going now, in which the OP shares his miseries of the past four years while simultaneously saying he has no regrets. And that, for many, sums up the experience. I’m not a grad, but DD is about to become one. And through her eyes, I’ve come to conclude that USNA is not really a miserable place. Instead, it’s a highly polar place.

The highs can be very high. The lows can be very low. There’s not a lot in between. There’s a reason on commissioning day that the grads exuberantly throw their covers high in the air — part relief, part happiness, part pride. And there’s a reason so many work so hard to get into USNA in the first place.

Another way to look at it: Let’s say elite, highly ranked civilian school has a happiness index of 70 (out of 100). USNA has a happiness index of 70. But look deeper into those numbers and you might find that the “moment in time” scores at elite, highly ranked civilian school range from 50 to 80. While the “moment in time” scores at USNA range from 30 to 100. Again, a highly polar experience.

DD aimed for USNA when she was 13. She worked tirelessly to get there. If anyone had an overly romanticized view of the place, it was her. She’s had her share of academic, athletic and emotional lows. She’s also had more than her share of academic, athletic and emotional highs. She’d say it’s what you make of it. She’s gained leadership experience that’s taken me three decades to get. She’ll leave with deep and abiding friendships. She’ll take with her memories of experiences that her civilian friends can only dream of. And this I know: She’ll leave with zero regrets.

If you want merely to be happy, perhaps elite, highly ranked civilian school is the place for you. If you want to stretch yourself, be all you can be in every aspect of your life (hat tip to Army), and feel like you truly earned that hat toss at the end, then N*OT COLLEGE may be the place.
 
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Navy_Simp said:
I’ve heard about the cynicism, the collective suck, and the grind of being there. Does being at USNA really suck that bad? My goal isn’t to have fun in college, but I am still a human who wants to be thrown a bone every now and then. What’s the point of going to USNA if I am to be miserable for 4 years of my life?
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I think it also depends on you.

DS already studied hours upon hours a day in HS along with multiple sports, scouts, etc. He wasnt a partier. He doesn't see the same prison that other MIDNs talk about since it fits his personality. Sure, plebe year had really annoying moments, especially chopping and various time-sucks when he'd rather have studied or slept. He has been pushed and challenged. But, he has said many times that he's glad he chose USNA versus NROTC at his other dream school.

Good luck to you.
 
I just remembered something: in one of my Firsties letters home during plebe summer, he wrote ‘when things get hard, I look up and around and think about how fortunate I am to be here. BC it’s a privilege many work hard for, but don’t make it’. He has done that reflection a few times over the years. And it’s true.

Sometimes, changing your thought pattern is all it takes to make someone ‘happy’. Focus on the positives. That’s a life skill that will help you over the years, no matter where you are. Or the situation. Mindset.

You will find your niche. Glee club. Fishing club. Mountaineering. Run in in the Boston Marathon. Photography. Sooooo many opportunities to have fun with like minded people.
 
MidCakePa said:
DD aimed for USNA when she was 13.
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Postscript: DD sent me two photos the other day. One of her, at 13, standing by some mids lined up for parade practice. The other of her, the prior week, lining up for parade practice.

She said the earlier photo made her smile as she contemplated that some of the officers she deals with now — MAJ _____, LT _____, CAPT _____, LT CDR _____ — might be somewhere in that very photo.
 
It isn't an easy road and your 'cold feet' certainly are not the only ones nor are they the first. But it is rewarding.

My DS is dealing with some crappola right now, and seems to complain a bit. BUT the text I woke up to at 5 am PST was this, "got invited to a secret hypersonic briefing, totally excited'.


That doesn't happen at U of X. He's in the right place, and if they appointed you, they think you will be too.
 
You can and have already done hard things. I know this, because to get where you are today....it took a lot of work, effort and dedication. Years of it. For some, that still was not enough to get the appointment to USNA. Feeling nervous for something new and challenging is normal. Congrats on being a 1st generation college student! Though you don't have experience with the military or college life, everyones experience is unique. Also, you will soon be immersed with others in the same situation as you, as a plebe. You will bond and build great relationships and help each other through the next 4 years. Try to focus on the positive things and don't get to far ahead of yourself. Our minds can work for us or against us. Your feelings are normal and it's ok to have them. I'm really glad you made this post. It helped me be aware that my son might be having some of these feelings at some point. He only received his appointment 1 week ago to USMMA after being turned down to USNA and USAFA for the 2nd year as a re-applicant even with prep school- so the excitement is still strong at the moment. I also have enjoyed reading the beautiful responses on this thread. If you are ever feeling overwhelmed and need to vent feel free to PM me. I wish you all the best and hope you can enjoy the time before leaving and find something positive each day as a plebe. It all goes so fast...once it's done.
 
Navy_Simp said:
I’ve heard about the cynicism, the collective suck, and the grind of being there. Does being at USNA really suck that bad? My goal isn’t to have fun in college, but I am still a human who wants to be thrown a bone every now and then. What’s the point of going to USNA if I am to be miserable for 4 years of my life?

Any insight into the environment, challenges, and wellbeing of mids at USNA would be highly appreciated. Also, are any other 2026 Appointees feeling this way?
Click to expand...
Take the previous posts and mix them in a bowl and then bake it. You’ll have a nice cake of advice and wisdom.

USNA and other situations will suck as much as you let it suck. Perhaps the reason for nerves is the remaining time before I-Day. Your imagination is starting to run. Don’t let it. You got the appointment you coveted and now read about how miserable people are. Stop and don’t tag on. You won’t hear from the midshipmen that will tell they never had it so good. They’re there and understand the yin and yang of the institution. They are even keeled. In my experience the ones that “suffered” most were the ones that tried to avoid suffering. Try to see the good and reap the benefits in every challenge during your four years at USNA. There will be many.

Good luck to you.
 
There are students going to "regular college" that are now questioning which college they picked and is it the right one and are dreading leaving home and everyone else will have friends already and what did I get myself into!?

It is a natural point of gaining independence and yes it is hard for everyone.
 
I think a lot of people feel this way. A lot of people also have doubts over staying once they arrive. Believe it or not, of the classmates I know who at one point contemplated leaving, most commonly it was early during 3/C year. Why? They realize that a lot of “the suck” doesn’t go away after plebe year.

Gotta enter with the mindset of longterm resilience. There are many unpleasant moments throughout the whole four year journey. Also some great parts, but they’re the exception and you need to decide if it’s worth it. You could do ROTC and get that traditional college experience and still be an officer if that’s what you’re after. Some will see that as the best of both worlds. Or if you really want the special parts of going to an Academy like the cohesion and prestige, be prepared to make some tradeoffs. I honestly think that if you want to serve, then both paths are great, just different. Keep in mind that if you go, you can always decide that it isn’t for you and bow out, and that doesn’t say anything negative about you, it just means it wasn’t the best fit, and nobody can blame an 18 year old for not making the correct choice for the next 9+ years of his/her life.

Good luck to you.
 
What’s the old saying??? “It’s a great place to be from!” Not so great when you’re there.

Definitely won’t be sunshine and rainbows. You’ll have fun at times, but as mentioned above… “Embrace the SUCK!”

You’ll be fine. Most your peers will be going through the same thing. If it was easy everyone would do it, not just the top 2%.
 
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