Help! My parents don't want me to be a pilot after graduation. How do I convince them otherwise?

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Shadow06

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So the subject line says everything.

My parents don't want me to be a pilot after graduation. They are literally dead set on me NOT being a pilot, and apparently they don't care what I do in the Air Force as long as I'm not in the field. They want me to work in an intelligence type of field, and I already know that I want a computer science degree as it would be pretty useful for the later future.

But, I've thought about it and I really want to be a pilot after graduation, just for the journey of that kind of life and because I love being around planes in general.

I think what they're worried about is me not being able to get a job after retiring from the military other than commercial pilot (which they are even more against than being a pilot in the Air Force). But even then, I tell them to look at all the benefits of being a pilot and they are just having none of it.

With all this being said, I know I could probably become a pilot anyway and they wouldn't be able to do anything about it, but I really don't want to be that guy.

So, I have a lot of questions:

After serving as a pilot, what jobs can I get in the civilian market that is not commercial flying? (This is the reason for the Computer Science degree)

And how else can I convince my parents that being a pilot in the Air Force is a good thing?

The fact that my parents don't want to even hear anything related to this is really messing with me right now, so I would really appreciate any advice regarding this whole thing!
 
So, the subject line says everything.

My parents are okay with me doing absolutely anything in the Air Force that is related to intelligence basically. And I will get a computer science degree because that is what I am interested in when it comes to education and knowledge.

But I really want to be an AF pilot for the journey that it would take me through. The thought of it makes me happier than working in intelligence. And I feel like I could work with computers and development on the side anyway, which I also imagine myself doing.

I think their worry is that once I retire from the AF, I won't get a job in the civilian market that's not commercial flying (which they are even more against than flying in the AF), and I guess I understand that.

But I keep trying to talk about the benefits and they don't even want to hear about it.

All this being said, I could probably just not listen to them at all and become a pilot, but I really don't want to be that guy.

So, with all these facts, how can I convince my parents that being a pilot in the AF will benefit me?

I would really appreciate any advice!
 
chirag_c said:
I could probably just not listen to them at all and become a pilot,
Click to expand...
This is your best advice. Just keep moving towards that path and see where it takes you. You might change your mind later. You might not be able to be a pilot, but you can burn that bridge when you get to it and figure out your next path then.,
 
chirag_c said:
So, the subject line says everything.

My parents are okay with me doing absolutely anything in the Air Force that is related to intelligence basically. And I will get a computer science degree because that is what I am interested in when it comes to education and knowledge.

But I really want to be an AF pilot for the journey that it would take me through. The thought of it makes me happier than working in intelligence. And I feel like I could work with computers and development on the side anyway, which I also imagine myself doing.

I think their worry is that once I retire from the AF, I won't get a job in the civilian market that's not commercial flying (which they are even more against than flying in the AF), and I guess I understand that.

But I keep trying to talk about the benefits and they don't even want to hear about it.

All this being said, I could probably just not listen to them at all and become a pilot, but I really don't want to be that guy.

So, with all these facts, how can I convince my parents that being a pilot in the AF will benefit me?

I would really appreciate any advice!
Click to expand...
... so what's your status? HS? Plebe? If still in HS, just maintain a low profile and don't make any waves with your parents. If you're in the academy, you already know the answer.
 
chirag_c said:
So, the subject line says everything.

My parents are okay with me doing absolutely anything in the Air Force that is related to intelligence basically. And I will get a computer science degree because that is what I am interested in when it comes to education and knowledge.

But I really want to be an AF pilot for the journey that it would take me through. The thought of it makes me happier than working in intelligence. And I feel like I could work with computers and development on the side anyway, which I also imagine myself doing.

I think their worry is that once I retire from the AF, I won't get a job in the civilian market that's not commercial flying (which they are even more against than flying in the AF), and I guess I understand that.

But I keep trying to talk about the benefits and they don't even want to hear about it.

All this being said, I could probably just not listen to them at all and become a pilot, but I really don't want to be that guy.

So, with all these facts, how can I convince my parents that being a pilot in the AF will benefit me?

I would really appreciate any advice!
Click to expand...
Are you by any chance the oldest child? If so, your parents have not yet experienced their CHILD becoming an adult. That’s an unknown to them. Once you move into your adult life, and proceed to make good, intelligent, well thought out decisions that move you forward towards your goal, your parents will learn to trust your decisions. It may take a while, but they will get there.

Ultimately, know you weren’t put on this earth to please your parents. This is your own life you are going to have to live and be content with. In the long run, they will be pleased to see you happy and productive.

One thing to keep in mind: joining the AF doesn’t guarantee you a pilot slot. Something to consider.
 
Is it the danger? The wild lifestyle? Being away from home? Being quite opposed to commercial flight seems to indicate an Away From Home concern, but who knows? Depending on what bothers them about aviation, some aspects could be allayed by who you are and how you live your life, but some things they just might not ever get comfortable with.

I will tell you that as a local IT guy I have stretches where I don't get home at 5:00 each night (or even 7:00) and I have relatives in other ostensibly local jobs with plenty of travel involved. Intel doesn't necessarily mean clock-punching 40 hours, and if you get attached to a deployed unit you could be away from home just as long as the fly guys but piloting a desk. My cousin flew heavies for the Air Force, which sounds safe until you look at some of the airfields in Bosnia they were using. He eventually left the service and has a mellow ground job doing training for a major bank, so being a pilot is not a life sentence if you get tired of the travel.

At some point you probably need to talk to your parents about what is the particular concern, and then address it head on. There's probably time to demonstrate your commitment to this path and exhibit the level-headedness that could lead them to trust you in larger life decisions. Most parents raise their kids with the thought of a long and interesting life to come, but not all of them consider how that life starts out. There are a bunch of How Do I Talk To My Parent threads around here, though many are centered around parents that are opposed to the entire concept of military service. Yours have a narrower concern, but read a few of them anyway for some thoughts that may help you communicate with them better, or at least become more comfortable with choosing something for yourself while showing them it wasn't an act of defiance. Good luck,. I'm sure they want the best for you, so don't give up on them even as you take your first big adult steps.
 
My husband was an F-16 pilot and now flies for a major airline. AF pilots are the best trained pilots in the world. Don’t let your parents define you. Don’t have regrets. I am almost certain you would regret not pursuing this dream.
 
I understand your parent's perspective. They want to protect you and are worried about your safety, not your financial well-being. As a retired infantry officer, I didn't want my kids to join the military. But guess what? It's who they are and trying to stop them from being themselves is like trying to protect a sand castle in the surf. I've learned to deal with it and your parents will, too. You need to do You. And that's what you tell them. That said, you're a long way away from getting a pilot slot so you might not even need to have this conversation at this point.

Financially you'll have it made as a pilot. In the military, you make more than any ground pounder and you'll be in high demand by major airlines that actually pay well (as opposed to the smaller feeder airlines).

Best of luck and Check 6!
 
Here you go

My parents absolutely don't want me to be a pilot in the Air Force. How do I convince them otherwise?

So, the subject line says everything. My parents are okay with me doing absolutely anything in the Air Force that is related to intelligence basically. And I will get a computer science degree because that is what I am interested in when it comes to education and knowledge. But I really want...
www.serviceacademyforums.com

Welcome to the forums. FYI, don’t need to post twice. People will find you!
 
I don't have much post military career knowledge, but I would say that you need to make a choice based on you want. I understand the pressure to not upset your parents, don't get me wrong. That being said, you can't live life trying to please everyone. Good luck.
 
justdoit19 said:
Here you go

My parents absolutely don't want me to be a pilot in the Air Force. How do I convince them otherwise?

So, the subject line says everything. My parents are okay with me doing absolutely anything in the Air Force that is related to intelligence basically. And I will get a computer science degree because that is what I am interested in when it comes to education and knowledge. But I really want...
www.serviceacademyforums.com

Welcome to the forums. FYI, don’t need to post twice. People will find you!
Click to expand...

Yeah, sorry about that. The first time I clicked on the button to post it seemed like the thread just vanished, so I posted it a second time and THEN it was there. Not sure why it did that.
 
chirag_c said:
Yeah, sorry about that. The first time I clicked on the button to post it seemed like the thread just vanished, so I posted it a second time and THEN it was there. Not sure why it did that.
Click to expand...
FYI, moving forward, there is an edit/delete button for a certain amount of time, available after you post. No worries just letting you know.
 
chirag_c said:
Yeah, sorry about that. The first time I clicked on the button to post it seemed like the thread just vanished, so I posted it a second time and THEN it was there. Not sure why it did that.
Click to expand...
More than likely it triggered a review by a Mod.
 
If you attend a service academy you will soon find out that you are an employee of the federal government and you no longer answer to your parents. They are not paying your tuition and have no say over what you do. Always be respectful towards your parents, but they will have as much say over your career as you have over theirs.
 
To address the career potential after a military career as a pilot, you are not limited to pilot. Pilots have ground responsibilities too, as officers. Whether you separate before you are eligible for retirement, or retire sometime after 20 years and go on to another career, you will have leadership and management experience, demonstrated ability to work in high-pressure operational situations, very likely an advanced degree, resource and workforce allocations skills, strategic planning, program/project management expertise, a security clearance (highly valued), critical thinking, process improvement, risk and gap analysis, decision-making, performance optimization - a healthy toolkit of skills. Pilots go on to many different careers because they are also officers - leaders in their service, responsible and accountable for planning and executing strategic and tactical plans to achieve objectives and results.

And - the benefit of networking within the vast SA and greater veteran network. There are an amazing number of resources available to support career transition.

Take a look at a sampling:
Service Academy Career Conference

Service Academy Career Conference

sacc-jobfair.com sacc-jobfair.com

Military Officers Assn of America (MOAA)
www.moaa.org

Transition and Career

MOAA's one-stop hub for all your transition assistance.
www.moaa.org www.moaa.org

Bradley-Morris/Recruit Military

Service Academy Career Conference

sacc-jobfair.com sacc-jobfair.com

Orion Talent
www.oriontalent.com

Careers for Transitioning Military and Veterans | Orion Talent

The best jobs for transitioning military and veterans seeking a career change.
www.oriontalent.com

Military Mojo
militarymojo.org

Military MOJO

Boutique Hiring Event specific to Degreed Veterans and Degreed Military Spouses
militarymojo.org militarymojo.org

Corporate Gray

Corporate Gray Military to Civilian Career Transition Website

Corporate Gray connects military veterans with employers through its career transition books, military job fairs, and military to civilian website.
www.corporategray.com

Veterati
www.veterati.com

MENTORS. The key to your dream career.

Veterati is a free mentorship platform for Service Members, Veterans, and Military Spouses to access unlimited mentors. Our mentors are successful professionals volunteering to serve those who have served our country. Our mission is to transform job search from a painful experience into an...
www.veterati.com www.veterati.com

American Corporate Partners
www.acp-usa.org

American Corporate Partners

Founded in 2008, ACP aims to ease the transition from the military to the civilian workforce. ACP is the only nonprofit organization engaged in national corporate career counseling for our returning military.
www.acp-usa.org www.acp-usa.org

Feds Hire Vets
www.opm.gov

FedsHireVets - OPM.gov

Welcome to opm.gov
www.opm.gov www.opm.gov

DoD SkillBridge Program

Institute for Veterans and Military Families
(IVMF) (look at the Onward to Opportunity program)

ivmf.syracuse.edu

Home - D'Aniello Institute for Veterans and Military Families

IVMF is higher education’s first interdisciplinary academic institute, focused on advancing the lives of the nation’s military veterans and their families.
ivmf.syracuse.edu ivmf.syracuse.edu

Your potential and opportunity to explore new careers is essentially limitless. Yes, you can go fly for the airlines, or become an aviation operations executive, or go work for Lockheed or do something entirely different. Thinking about a few of the military pilots I know who have gone into non-flying roles:
- entrepreneur and owner of 3 Chick Fil A franchises
- SVP with Wells Fargo Bank and then President/CEO of a business bank (hired for decision-making ability and strategic thinking)
- senior wealth management executive with a national firm
- COO for aviation operations with an international aerospace firm
- SVP for Asian military sales for a major defense aviation firm, lives in Singapore
- owner and CEO of a regional business accounting firm
- Navy test pilot who went on to become a Navy acquisition professional program manager, now an executive with an international defense company
- pilots also become astronauts…


Live your life. Show your love to your parents but set your boundary. Carve your own path.

The covering their ears/lalala part and grabbing onto whatever objections they can grasp may also be a mask covering their fear of something happening to you in the military as a pilot.

Depending where you are on the path, remind them you can go to a SA for 2 years and walk away, owe nothing, one year if on a ROTC scholarship, and that you also won’t make hard decisions about pilot until your last year or so, and you will be exposed to all kinds of career paths along the way, and you promise to be open to those.

If you are already into the commitment zone, make your decisions, tell your parents you love them, understand they have concerns, but this is your decision and your dream and your life, and while you would appreciate their loving support, you will understand if they cannot give it right now.

Boundaries. Set them. Lovingly communicate them. Get on with your life.
 
To add to @Capt MJ points, a couple of anecdotes:

I went to grad school with a former naval flight officer. Was the backseater on an F14. Bright as heck. He went on to become a highly compensated management consultant.

In corporate life, I was boss to a former P3 pilot who had attended grad school. He became a marketing stud and is now an HR stud. Published a book about leadership during his spare time.

Through a friend, I know of a former F18 pilot who rose to full colonel. He now heads the aviation department of an energy company, but doesn’t fly.

Being a military aviator develops many valuable aspects: decision making, attention to detail, analytical skill, courage under pressure. It does not limit you to life as a pilot.
 
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As others have said, your path is your decision. Be kind and loving, but do not be badgered into a career you don't want. If you aren't filling out your AFSC sheet soon, you have time. Lots of cadets change their minds about career fields while at the academy (learning more about different AF careers is a huge benefit of USAFA).

As your parents see you grow and learn more about the AF, they may change their minds, or just learn to accept you are capable of making good choices on your own. Some of my parents fears were based on lack of experience and Hollywood than reality.
 
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