My DS is having a real bad case of homesickness after this holiday break? He has a roomate who is extermely quiet and does not seem to socialize much with my DS or with anyone at all for that matter. As my Ds puts it , he says its like being in the room alone and its horrible not to have a freindship or even a conversation. He wishes he had a roomate that could help him remain positive during this hard time. Does anyone have any advice for me to give my DS, my heart is broken because he is so sad.
Homesick
- Thread starter lilcola99
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I know it's tough for you mom too. I'm glad you posted, b/c others will respond with their ideas. But for what it's worth here are some of my ideas/questions. Does he have any other friends in the dorm? Does he have another person he can talk to there, even if they aren't his roommate? Is he part of an extra curricular activities? Does his Company have any phone or skype privileges yet? Does he have people he can exericise with? I know that fatigue, lack of sunlight and lack of sleep can do a number on a person. From a physical stand point, Vitamin D is a great mood helper. B-complex helps w/ stress as long as it's not taken at night. And of course, there is also the Chaplain. I'll keep you in my prayers. Hang in there mom.
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It's a tough time at all of the academies, second semester after your first break. At CGA I used to get sick to my stomach crossing Gold Star Bridge and seeing the Chapel (always the first sight comign from PVD, heading south on I-95 over Thames.)
It will get better, I promise. You make some good friends the first year, but your best friends will start to show themselves at the end of the first year and into the second.
It wasn't until....late 2/c year and firstie year that I kind of enjoyed returning to CGA and my friends. Don't get me wrong, I liked being home with the family and relaxing, but I had made good friends over the years as well.
It's the Dark Ages, other threads for other academies have talked about it. No way to really beat it, expect keep your chin up and wait for it to be over.
It will get better, I promise. You make some good friends the first year, but your best friends will start to show themselves at the end of the first year and into the second.
It wasn't until....late 2/c year and firstie year that I kind of enjoyed returning to CGA and my friends. Don't get me wrong, I liked being home with the family and relaxing, but I had made good friends over the years as well.
It's the Dark Ages, other threads for other academies have talked about it. No way to really beat it, expect keep your chin up and wait for it to be over.
It is something that he is going to have to get used to. What happens if he signs onto a ship/boat with crew members that he doesn't like? When you go to sea, you cannot choose your co-workers and you have to live with them, 24 hours a day for weeks or months at a time. I don't know if that helps, but it is the reality.
My DS always advised that this tri (2nd) is the hardest....
You've just gone and seen the other kids at StateU yukking it up, some still have another week or two before going back to school. So, while your kid is getting ready to go back, all the old buddies are planning a ski trip or some other fling.
There are big tests coming up (or course, there ALWAYS are).
Roommates come and go. Some are great. Some are awful. Most are somewhere in the middle. The kids you DS will see the most of, however, are the folks in the same SECTION. Study w/sectionmates! REALLY study.
This is more of an emotional/psychological gut-check time.
As one of the graduates would say,
COWBOY UP!
(and good luck)
You've just gone and seen the other kids at StateU yukking it up, some still have another week or two before going back to school. So, while your kid is getting ready to go back, all the old buddies are planning a ski trip or some other fling.
There are big tests coming up (or course, there ALWAYS are).
Roommates come and go. Some are great. Some are awful. Most are somewhere in the middle. The kids you DS will see the most of, however, are the folks in the same SECTION. Study w/sectionmates! REALLY study.
This is more of an emotional/psychological gut-check time.
As one of the graduates would say,
COWBOY UP!
(and good luck)
lovethenavy
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THis post caught my eye because my mid is going to be going back to USNA on Thursday and I am feeling kind of sad too. It is hard to see them feel down, but hopefully once they back in the groove, it will be better. Do you use oovoo? My DS suggested that this might make all feel more connected. Good luck. We are all in this together, no matter what SA our kids go to. Spring break is right around the corner.
kpbaseballmom
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Cookie Cafe can Help
Please tell your DS to come to Cookie Cafe where he can socialize. Also, have him speak to Carol and Gene Guest, who run CC. Tell them the situation and they will try to introduce him to other mids. Also, there are several mothers there that can try and help by introducing him to their mids. Also, the chapel program is a good place to meet other mids and the waterfront is a great place to meet mids of every class.
All these resources will help him immensely.
Please tell your DS to come to Cookie Cafe where he can socialize. Also, have him speak to Carol and Gene Guest, who run CC. Tell them the situation and they will try to introduce him to other mids. Also, there are several mothers there that can try and help by introducing him to their mids. Also, the chapel program is a good place to meet other mids and the waterfront is a great place to meet mids of every class.
All these resources will help him immensely.
coachkerry
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Remember last year?
As your Mid to remember the struggles and hopes from last year to get to where he is now. A quiet shipmate can be a blessing when its time to study and besides even if a Plebe he can go to see other shipmates for fellowship. Another great source is the Chaplain who may be able to give him another perspective. Whatever the case is please remind him this is only a temporary issue and to think about all the adventures awaiting him when he begins his Sea Year!
He's experiencing the Dark Ages and it's a storm that will pass.
As your Mid to remember the struggles and hopes from last year to get to where he is now. A quiet shipmate can be a blessing when its time to study and besides even if a Plebe he can go to see other shipmates for fellowship. Another great source is the Chaplain who may be able to give him another perspective. Whatever the case is please remind him this is only a temporary issue and to think about all the adventures awaiting him when he begins his Sea Year!
He's experiencing the Dark Ages and it's a storm that will pass.
kp2001
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This is a tough time of year at all the Academies as mentioned by several posters above.
Having a roommate that you don't necessarily communicate well with can make it a little harder, but he can definitely work around this. I found that the more I got involved in other activities/study groups the less time I actually spent in my room. Not only did this get me out of the barracks and the direct line of sight of the upperclass, but also gave me other friends to hang out with.
I second the ideas above: Cookie Cafe (wish we had that when I was there), Chaplain, waterfront (always a haven for many!), or any number of clubs on campus. Also have him try to seek out a few friends in his section that he can potentially spend more time with.
Overall though it's tough...you go to class and it's dark, you leave class and it's dark. It feels like a rat race and you may feel like you are getting further and further behind.
I'd also recommend a regular exercise routine down in the gym if he's not doing it already. Working out can really relieve some stress!
Having a roommate that you don't necessarily communicate well with can make it a little harder, but he can definitely work around this. I found that the more I got involved in other activities/study groups the less time I actually spent in my room. Not only did this get me out of the barracks and the direct line of sight of the upperclass, but also gave me other friends to hang out with.
I second the ideas above: Cookie Cafe (wish we had that when I was there), Chaplain, waterfront (always a haven for many!), or any number of clubs on campus. Also have him try to seek out a few friends in his section that he can potentially spend more time with.
Overall though it's tough...you go to class and it's dark, you leave class and it's dark. It feels like a rat race and you may feel like you are getting further and further behind.
I'd also recommend a regular exercise routine down in the gym if he's not doing it already. Working out can really relieve some stress!
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Sports, clubs....getting out there, it all helps! 
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So as noted in general it's a depressing time of year at Kings Point - middle of the second trimester, short days, long nights, cold and gray days are also the norm. Those things affect a person's morale and having friends to talk to, study with or just hag out with are all things that are needed to keep at all positive. That said my suggestions in this case are pretty simple and straight-forward:
1) Seriously walk across or down the hall and talk to/or make a friend if his roommate is an introvert.
2) Do something - anything but get out of the dorm room and do something ACTIVE - i.e. limit or stay altogether off facebook, videogaming, etc.
3) To the extent you & he can afford it, get with a couple of friends and on one of the days in the middle of the week make that "pizza or chinese food or whatever food night" and have that stuff delivered to Vickery Gate and enjoy it just to break things up and not eat mediocre Delano Food - it's likely to become a tradition to he and his friends and something that breaks up the week and they look forward too.
4) Remind him that even if he were back home many of his friends will have gone back to school from break as well so home isn't really like "home @ break"
Hope these help. It is a hard time of year to keep positive and focused.
Sea Faring Moose Mom
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DARK AGES......
Those of us who have lived most of our lives in the Northern United States can truely identify with the Dark Ages.....this is exactly why I stayed in COLORADO when I had the chance. (reportedly 285 days of sunshine per year)
I believe the Mids from the more sunny south states have a harder time adjusting to (dum - dum - Dah - scarey music) 'the dreaded GRAY days......"
Being raised and living most of my life in IOWA I learned NEVER to make any major decisions concerning my life during the months of November to April...
The radio stations would actually count the gray days.....I was one of those who really suffered with Seasonal Depression. All my Drs. and Counselors have prescribed what was included in the former posts.
It is hard to see our kids go through this for the first time....but even here in Colorado, I go to work in the dark (6:40 AM) and come home in the dark (4:45 PM) during the Dark Ages....Be a positive and encouraging voice and MAKE SURE that you have your phone on.... My DD always calls more during this time......
Those of us who have lived most of our lives in the Northern United States can truely identify with the Dark Ages.....this is exactly why I stayed in COLORADO when I had the chance. (reportedly 285 days of sunshine per year)
I believe the Mids from the more sunny south states have a harder time adjusting to (dum - dum - Dah - scarey music) 'the dreaded GRAY days......"
Being raised and living most of my life in IOWA I learned NEVER to make any major decisions concerning my life during the months of November to April...
The radio stations would actually count the gray days.....I was one of those who really suffered with Seasonal Depression. All my Drs. and Counselors have prescribed what was included in the former posts.
It is hard to see our kids go through this for the first time....but even here in Colorado, I go to work in the dark (6:40 AM) and come home in the dark (4:45 PM) during the Dark Ages....Be a positive and encouraging voice and MAKE SURE that you have your phone on.... My DD always calls more during this time......