I have a situation

F

fball100

5-Year Member
Joined
Sep 8, 2011
Messages
13
Little background about me, I am a great student and my main sport is tennis( 3 year varsity player soon to began my 4th year in the Spring). But my problem is regarding my school's varsity basketball team. I have played for 3 years now starting JV year as a sophomore and now 2 years on Varsity(I did not make the freshman team). However I have lost the respect of my varsity coach. My reasons:

1. Constantly doubts team competence and effort
2. immature and emotional
3. shows favoritism
4. Doesn't care about how actions impact others
5. Fails to develop players
6. Criticizes players who barely play/affect the game. He would probably blame some random Miami Heat bench player rather then Lebron James for losing the NBA title.
7. Pulls Bench players out immediately for mistakes, while allowing starters with equal ability to play through them. For example a bench player will score 12 points one night because he played well in limited minutes, but won't even touch the ball two days later. Its very hard to get going and loose in limited minutes especially with the stress that you might get taken out for making any mistake.
8. No other job, can't get away from high school basketball, spends 24 hours creating scouting reports and practice plans, talk about pressure to win.
9. The success we have isn't worth the unhappiness of being on the team

About 8 guys actually decide the game, but its hard to figure out why they play so many minutes when equally talented players sit and the team loses (we're 8-12 and have lost winnable games). In fact, one of those 8 players got expelled and the other didn't make grades till now. And I repeat they aren't even better than the next guy. Also, those 8 players lack leadership and are as immature as the coach, both fail to see any unhappiness on the team too. I am one of those bench players, I am also one of three team captains. I believe in order to be a leader one must play and so I believe I cannot lead this team effectively. But there is one thing I can do. I can stop this cycle and refuse to play. I'm a likable player on the team so I know it would send a message. My dad fears it will affect my West Point chances because it is quitting but I feel he already quit on me. But I think this is a great way to be true to myself and actually demonstrate some leadership for the juniors on the team who see the injustice as well. What do you think?
 
Last edited:
I don't think you need to not play... also, 1 person going on a strike is one thing, the whole bench team is another.

Before going on a strike though, you must talk to your coach. Have you done that? If so, what happened?
 
Because you are already triple-qualified AND you have four years of Varsity Tennis, I honestly think doing what you said wouldn't affect your chances that much if at all. But like BillSl said, do try and talk to your coach first. If not, get the entire bench like he said.
 
I don't think this has anything to do with USMA, but you did ask for life advice, so here goes:

As long as you are part of a team, it is your duty to give 100% in physical, mental, and emotional energy, to the best of your ability. OK, you have an idiot for a coach... guess what, one day you might have an idiot platoon leader and you don't get to "not play" or go on strike.

Life is about building patterns of behavior that will work over the long haul, in good and bad situations ... and being a good team member is close to the top of that list. You cannot be an effective leader (Officer) if you haven't learned how to be an effective follower, even of a leader you think is an idiot. There's a lot about that principle of being a good follower before you can be a good leader in the Bible, if that makes a difference to you.

So, yes, you talk to the coach. Then you talk to the coach with another player or players with you. After than, you decide if you want to remain with the team. I've got a real problem with quitting something midstream, but that might just be me. If you decide to leave the team, do so professionally and don't burn bridges. If you stay, give it your all, not matter whether it is fully appreciated by your coach. go see the movie Rudy.
 
Last edited:
^^^ Yeah what dunninla said. It might actually be of some help to the coach to know how you guys feel. He probably doesn't even realize what he's doing.
 
fball100

My son had almost the same experience with his Tennis team coach, he played all 4 years and they switched coaches during his junior year. Sounds like your coach and my son's old coach could be twins.

I take it this is your senior year and the USMA and becoming an officer is your goal. You should focus on that, try not to stress about the team or the coach. Dunninla is right, don't quit, or even "Go out on strike", your talking about High School Basketball, if you were being recruited by a Div 1 school you might look at things differently. Look around the bench, realize that these are your friends and teammates, they are the ones you should be focusing on. In a few short weeks the season will be over, it will be the last time you play high school basketball. The best thing you can do is shrug it off as just another adult that can't seem to get past his high school glory days. Trust me your about to enter a new phase of your life, one that will make high school seem a distant memory. Enjoy your fellow players, have fun when you can and be the best team player you can. In a year when you are out on a FTX or a Ranger Challenge in the rain and mud, cold, and wetter then you have ever been...Oh and loving it by the way...you will hardly remember high school at all.
Right now you are just on a stepping stone in your journey, very quickly you will take the next step and leave that one behind.

As Dunninla said this won't be the last time you encounter a superior that seems unfit. Put a smile on your face, do as he coaches, and know that soon you'll be onto much bigger and better thing. Your coach? well he'll still be a high school basketball coach living in the past without a real job. Who do you think the winner is in this situation.

I coached for several years, I ran across this type of coach a lot unfortunatly. All I can say is that any action you take will not change this guy, I don't even think talking to him would do much good. If you feel you need to do something, write a mature letter to the school AD and have as many of the senior players sign it. Give it to the AD after the season is over. Remember it is the AD that hires the coaches and it is his responsibility to monitor them. For now just stay with the team and do your best, that is what will speak volumes to your character.

As far as any action you take hurting your chances at West Point, why take the risk to make a point to someone who obviously won't get the message.
 
Last edited:
Don't quit or refuse to play--you'll find that it won't be seen as a leadership act but as . . . Quitting. As an educator, former officer, and someone who used to be involved in hiring for my company, I can tell you that quitting a sport mid-season (or an analogous activity) is seen as a red flag (of being thin-skinned, lacking "grit", etc). This is not to suggest it would hurt your SA chances, but just to highlight external perception. But most importantly, won't you respect yourself more if you gut it out? Only about 5-6 weeks left in the season, focus on being a positive leader in practice and in the locker room, and then you can hold your head up high and enjoy your spring sport.
 
Perspective from a recent SA grad -- your post comes across as rationalizing, best case, and self-serving in a harsher light. If you want to quit because you hate your coach and he's not playing you, at least don't try to dress it up as leadership or self-sacrifice. Small unit leadership is all about teamwork and you won't be showing much if you abandon your teammates and captaincy.
 
Consider this "the test"! Whether you are playing or not, if you commit to the process then follow through with it. It definitely sounds like a bad situation, but life is filled with bad situations. Its what you do with those situations that matter! Rise above! At WP and in the Army you will be tasked with many situations that require steadfast resolution and commitment! Good Luck
 
fball100 said:
Little background about me, I am a great student and my main sport is tennis( 3 year varsity player soon to began my 4th year in the Spring).
Click to expand...

out of curiosity, what area are you from? I've also played tennis all four years. Do you play USTA?
 
@fball100: Sounds like the coach isn't very good at his job. It also seems fair to say (but do not take this to the bank) that you quitting tennis team is quite unlikely to affect you USMA appointment status.

However....just my two cents: This isn't the last time in your life that you will be led by someone whom you don't respect, and whose leadership style (or lack of it) will make you crazy. Let it go, and try to be there for the juniors and other underclassmen. Give them a shoulder to lean on, and try and shield them from the direct rays of abuse. Quitting is probably something you will regret and, quite honestly, you will be missed for probably 1 practice and maybe a match, then they'll go on without you. In addition, calling a wildcat strike sounds great in a Made-for-TV movie, but in actuality it's unlikely to come off as anything more than juvenile petulance.

I'd say suck it up, get your revenge by bolstering and supporting the benchers and the scrubs, and take some solace in the fact that you and the kids you help out will likely have much more fulfilling lives than this coach ever will.
 
TheDukeOfEarl said:
@fball100: Sounds like the coach isn't very good at his job. It also seems fair to say (but do not take this to the bank) that you quitting tennis team is quite unlikely to affect you USMA appointment status.

However....just my two cents: This isn't the last time in your life that you will be led by someone whom you don't respect, and whose leadership style (or lack of it) will make you crazy. Let it go, and try to be there for the juniors and other underclassmen. Give them a shoulder to lean on, and try and shield them from the direct rays of abuse. Quitting is probably something you will regret and, quite honestly, you will be missed for probably 1 practice and maybe a match, then they'll go on without you. In addition, calling a wildcat strike sounds great in a Made-for-TV movie, but in actuality it's unlikely to come off as anything more than juvenile petulance.

I'd say suck it up, get your revenge by bolstering and supporting the benchers and the scrubs, and take some solace in the fact that you and the kids you help out will likely have much more fulfilling lives than this coach ever will.
Click to expand...

Great advice, but the poster was talking about his Basketball team, I don't think he has a problem with the Tennis Team.

Not that it matters, that good adivce could fit any athletic team.
 
Our DS has received 2 noms and LOA and appointment to USMA. He played 3 years JV soccer and the norm was anyone who stuck with it got on Varsity. Well, not the case. No explanation he was cut with a few other players. Didn't make much sense b/c he also played with the varsity team on an indoor team and select soccer on D2 level, would have made D1 on one of the top clubs in the country. Missed that opportunity b/c of attending the SLS and NASS...oh well.

Gossip...another star player out of the blue was being recruited by AFA. It was well known to the coach that our DS was also interested in AFA. So...maybe...no varsity letter...gets cut. Who knows.

Moral of the story? Who cares...he proved he was athletic which is what the academies require, not desire. Emphasized that his leadership opportunities conflicted with the sports schedule (it did) and began training on his own. Not training for a sport...training to be a soldier meaning he's added about 10lbs of muscle and is 20 lbs lighter than he used to be and it showed.

You don't "need" varsity to get in. I'm sure it's desired but you CAN make up for it in other ways and it's up to you to emphasize what you did instead. Don't get hung up on sports, make sure your grades, etc., are spot on and it's not going to be a problem. Adapt and overcome this situation...the plan is to get in, any way you have to. Don't just count on one plan of attack to get a good package together-have a back up.

Good luck and give it your best.:thumb:
 
fball100 said:
8. No other job, can't get away from high school basketball, spends 24 hours creating scouting reports and practice plans, talk about pressure to win.
Click to expand...

Assuming that what you say is true, it sounds like he would have plenty of time to figure out a way to make your life miserable. Don't think he wouldn't. With his win-loss record, he is probably itching for some success as he defines it. You have let him get in your head, so don't make him more important than he is.

I had this conversation 100's of times with son #1 from the time he was 12 years old. About 5% of humanity wants to see you do well, 75% don't care, and about 20% want to see you fail. He made it his life's work to identify the 20% and either try to change them or ruin them. He learned the hard way, but he learned.

The other thing I told him, "Never are the emotions running so high as when the stakes are so low." Which is more precious to you, basketball or the prospect of a West Point Appointment?

He is an AROTC 4yr scholarship MS I. We visited him this weekend. He loves ROTC and I quote. "It's great! All you have to do keep your mouth shut, do as you're told and work harder than everybody else."

Wish you the best of luck!
 
Jcleppe said:
Great advice, but the poster was talking about his Basketball team, I don't think he has a problem with the Tennis Team.

Not that it matters, that good adivce could fit any athletic team.
Click to expand...

D'oh! And I know you won't believe me when I say that I *first* thought it *was* basketball, but then in doing a quick re-read I somehow ended up thinking I had it backwards and I ended up on the tennis court. Thanks for your kind words and for helping to soft-land my gaffe. :thumb:
 
Must have DS read this thread, b/c this situation fits him SO WELL! Many lessons to be learned here!! fb100, just know that you are not the only one this happens to, and you have been given excellent advice as to how to handle your situation.

JCleppe is right: as you're a senior this year, in a few short months, none of this will matter anymore, as you're on to bigger and better things. Try to find something out of this situation that you can take with you for the long haul... as in "when I get to lead a team I'll try to remember to incude everyone, b/c I know how it felt to be left out." or "I will try to keep situations at hand in perspective, becuase I know how ridiculous my HS coach was when we'd ______ (fill in the blank)."

Keep your head up, and your discipline strong. Good luck!!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top