daisyflowers123
New Member
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2023
- Messages
- 2
I feel like its missing a "wow" factor and it isn't detail enough but i have no more characters to express more? Ideas?
I was a “people pleaser”, always giving in to the words of others. Never saying no, no matter how much I hated to say yes. A slave to validation and acceptance. It wasn’t always a bad thing; I was described as the “kind friend.” Kind enough to boss around. But it wasn’t my fault; Being able to help people was something that made me feel whole. Throughout my life, my dad always said, “learn how to say no.” I always uttered back with “okay...” because I never put too much thought into it. However, the more I realized how much saying “yes” all the time hurt me more than saying no, I knew something had to change.
I knew that saying yes to everything was bad, but I didn’t care. I was having fun with everything I was accepting, like joining field hockey or winter guard. As much as it was fun, I was struggling with time management. I told myself that I wouldn’t do this again next year, but I couldn’t say no when they asked, “are you going to do _ again this year?” My voice spoke without hesitation because it knew I would feel guilty if I had said anything other than yes.
After years of saying yes, I was exhausted. I didn’t know who I was since I had always done what others asked of me. Leading to my junior year, everyone was asking, “what do you want to do when you grow up?” I said I hadn’t figured it out yet, but I really hadn’t figured myself out either. Why did I not know what I wanted if I was involved in so much? I sat down outside thinking over and over on the lingering question. I hopped into my dad's car and started conversating about how my teacher asked me to join winter guard again. He then stated, “is that really something you want to do?” I thought for a second. Then replied “…Not really.”
The day after, I knew I needed to take control of my own life. I walked to class feeling the butterflies in my stomach, but I was ready. He invited me into his class, and I sat down on the old yellow chewed up couch he had. I tried to keep away from the dreaded topic for a while, but I knew I couldn’t avoid it. I eventually told my teacher that I didn’t want to join the winter guard. There was a 3 second silence that pierced right through my soul. He broke the silence with “Okay but we would really like to have you here.” I hesitated for a second, but said, “I know and I’m really sorry, but I can’t,” finalizing my decision. I felt… different somehow. I didn’t feel guilty, but moreover I felt relieved because I know I've overcome the one thing holding me back from discovering who I am.
Afterwards, I realized that I was free from the shackles of validation. My passion for helping others never faded, but I am stronger-hearted than before. Fast forward a couple months and after self-discovery, I was guided towards the future career of surgery. Although I still struggle from time to time, I have entered a new and exciting chapter of introspection and soul-searching.
I was a “people pleaser”, always giving in to the words of others. Never saying no, no matter how much I hated to say yes. A slave to validation and acceptance. It wasn’t always a bad thing; I was described as the “kind friend.” Kind enough to boss around. But it wasn’t my fault; Being able to help people was something that made me feel whole. Throughout my life, my dad always said, “learn how to say no.” I always uttered back with “okay...” because I never put too much thought into it. However, the more I realized how much saying “yes” all the time hurt me more than saying no, I knew something had to change.
I knew that saying yes to everything was bad, but I didn’t care. I was having fun with everything I was accepting, like joining field hockey or winter guard. As much as it was fun, I was struggling with time management. I told myself that I wouldn’t do this again next year, but I couldn’t say no when they asked, “are you going to do _ again this year?” My voice spoke without hesitation because it knew I would feel guilty if I had said anything other than yes.
After years of saying yes, I was exhausted. I didn’t know who I was since I had always done what others asked of me. Leading to my junior year, everyone was asking, “what do you want to do when you grow up?” I said I hadn’t figured it out yet, but I really hadn’t figured myself out either. Why did I not know what I wanted if I was involved in so much? I sat down outside thinking over and over on the lingering question. I hopped into my dad's car and started conversating about how my teacher asked me to join winter guard again. He then stated, “is that really something you want to do?” I thought for a second. Then replied “…Not really.”
The day after, I knew I needed to take control of my own life. I walked to class feeling the butterflies in my stomach, but I was ready. He invited me into his class, and I sat down on the old yellow chewed up couch he had. I tried to keep away from the dreaded topic for a while, but I knew I couldn’t avoid it. I eventually told my teacher that I didn’t want to join the winter guard. There was a 3 second silence that pierced right through my soul. He broke the silence with “Okay but we would really like to have you here.” I hesitated for a second, but said, “I know and I’m really sorry, but I can’t,” finalizing my decision. I felt… different somehow. I didn’t feel guilty, but moreover I felt relieved because I know I've overcome the one thing holding me back from discovering who I am.
Afterwards, I realized that I was free from the shackles of validation. My passion for helping others never faded, but I am stronger-hearted than before. Fast forward a couple months and after self-discovery, I was guided towards the future career of surgery. Although I still struggle from time to time, I have entered a new and exciting chapter of introspection and soul-searching.
