Mental conflicts

usafcellist2026

usafcellist2026

Montana State '26
Joined
Mar 6, 2021
Messages
618
Good evening everyone,

As the application process comes to a near close, as well as graduation coming up, I've been considering my options for college. So far, my top two civilian colleges I've been accepted for computer science and chemical engineering. I'm awaiting music scholarship results as my final determination. I wasn't a recipient of a nomination for USAFA, my top SA choice but I received one for USMMA. To be honest, I don't see a future for myself at USMMA. I never had an interest in the naval spectrum of the military, nor a desire to participate in the mandatory Sea Year. My parents, lets just say, aren't the best. If I'm not accepted into either SA, they want me to stay home another year and attend the local college and reapply OR enlist. I know if I stay home another year my mental health will take a turn for the worse, and I don't want to stay any longer. It's a plan right now to move in with my grandparents after I graduate, and stay with them until it's time to leave for college. They constantly are pushing the military on me, stating it's the only way I'll get my life together and have a good future. It's making me realize how much I value freedom, and I now yearn for a civilian college experience. Yes, the military is an amazing opportunity, however I don't believe it's the right fit for me after the past few months. I do want to fly, so I'm planning to do pilot training and fly commercially if I don't pursue the military path. Those are my thoughts so far, any help sorting them out would be appreciated.
 
usafacellist2026 said:
Good evening everyone,

As the application process comes to a near close, as well as graduation coming up, I've been considering my options for college. So far, my top two civilian colleges I've been accepted for computer science and chemical engineering. I'm awaiting music scholarship results as my final determination. I wasn't a recipient of a nomination for USAFA, my top SA choice but I received one for USMMA. To be honest, I don't see a future for myself at USMMA. I never had an interest in the naval spectrum of the military, nor a desire to participate in the mandatory Sea Year. My parents, lets just say, aren't the best. If I'm not accepted into either SA, they want me to stay home another year and attend the local college and reapply OR enlist. I know if I stay home another year my mental health will take a turn for the worse, and I don't want to stay any longer. It's a plan right now to move in with my grandparents after I graduate, and stay with them until it's time to leave for college. They constantly are pushing the military on me, stating it's the only way I'll get my life together and have a good future. It's making me realize how much I value freedom, and I now yearn for a civilian college experience. Yes, the military is an amazing opportunity, however I don't believe it's the right fit for me after the past few months. I do want to fly, so I'm planning to do pilot training and fly commercially if I don't pursue the military path. Those are my thoughts so far, any help sorting them out would be appreciated.
Click to expand...
You will find success anywhere you put your mind to. Make your own choice and stick with it and results will come.
 
Hey hun,
The main reason people fail out of service academies is because they don't have a reason to be there. Whether its parents or wrong life style they drop. I've seen you around and I'm like you in wanting to fly.

Home life? Kinda the same deal, it's not surprised I choose a prep school across the country. I wouldn't call it bad but well I wouldn't call it home.

Flying is home for me. I always enjoyed community service that's why I chose the military. I will be proud 4th generation air force and sure I've had my father give me a bit of pressure as the oldest. But when it comes down to those times alone or feeling alone that's when I still decide USAFA. The prep school had alot of lonely moments for me. I loved my roommates, but in a room full of crowded people I still felt alone often.

Military isn't for everyone. I do believe doing 4 years gives and experience you can't get anywhere else, yet we're a volunteer force for a reason. We value our members, even if there's room for improvement. Going the civilian path might have more unknowns but remember you can always join the military later in life.

My father joined when he was 30. He did a proud 18 years in the air force. He didn't join earlier on because he wanted to be a lawyer and help people. When he realized he couldn't help people in that way he thought about JAG and eventually just going in as a business man. He went through OTS and only retired early because of medical. He enjoyed his work because he chose it later in life, after he experienced life a bit. He originally didn't go in because he couldn't bare being away from the only "normal" thing he knew, his family.

Remember there's always next year and the year after that to reapply, enlist, go to ROTC or go to OTS. Life has no set stepping stones. One way may be harder but it doesn't make it any less worth it. "The greatest view comes after the hardest climb" wasn't on my graduation cap for nothing. Military will accept you when you are ready. It's your life getting shot at not your parents, or grandparents. In any situation I want my wingman to have my back because they want to be there. Not because their parents wanted them to be there.

We support your decision. Run towards something not away.
 
usafacellist2026 said:
Good evening everyone,

As the application process comes to a near close, as well as graduation coming up, I've been considering my options for college. So far, my top two civilian colleges I've been accepted for computer science and chemical engineering. I'm awaiting music scholarship results as my final determination. I wasn't a recipient of a nomination for USAFA, my top SA choice but I received one for USMMA. To be honest, I don't see a future for myself at USMMA. I never had an interest in the naval spectrum of the military, nor a desire to participate in the mandatory Sea Year. My parents, lets just say, aren't the best. If I'm not accepted into either SA, they want me to stay home another year and attend the local college and reapply OR enlist. I know if I stay home another year my mental health will take a turn for the worse, and I don't want to stay any longer. It's a plan right now to move in with my grandparents after I graduate, and stay with them until it's time to leave for college. They constantly are pushing the military on me, stating it's the only way I'll get my life together and have a good future. It's making me realize how much I value freedom, and I now yearn for a civilian college experience. Yes, the military is an amazing opportunity, however I don't believe it's the right fit for me after the past few months. I do want to fly, so I'm planning to do pilot training and fly commercially if I don't pursue the military path. Those are my thoughts so far, any help sorting them out would be appreciated.
Click to expand...
If you emancipate yourself (do the research), and are independent of financial support from parents, you are likely to be eligible for more college financial aid, unless your grandparents are assuming that burden of support. Think through financial support, healthcare, who pays for ypur phone/car/gas/insurance, things not covered by scholarships and other issues and have a plan if you are cutting the cord there.

It seems as if you have worked through the decision process and determined the military may not be a good fit for you. This is a good thing, to assess this decision over time and not feel you have to follow through on your initial path, and what factors seem to have emerged as deal-breakers for you. Presumably you have researched AFROTC - an excellent path that also gives you the “regular college” experience. Don’t rule that out until you have thoroughly researched it.
 
OP first good job completing arduous applications and congrats on your nomination.

I’m sorry to hear about home not being a place that feels good to you. That makes me sad. It does sound like you have support from grandparents so that is great.

You aren’t supposed to have all the answers now. So let that pressure go.

Community college is not a bad thing. On the contrary it can be a stepping stone. Our DD and I will both be getting our general associates degree this May from the same junior college. She will be 25 and I will be 51. It took a while for me but it’s a step in a direction I wanted to take.

Make sure that moving forward, you take steps in a direction that speaks to you and has a path you can see yourself on. Keep us posted.
 
usafacellist2026 said:
Good evening everyone,

As the application process comes to a near close, as well as graduation coming up, I've been considering my options for college. So far, my top two civilian colleges I've been accepted for computer science and chemical engineering. I'm awaiting music scholarship results as my final determination. I wasn't a recipient of a nomination for USAFA, my top SA choice but I received one for USMMA. To be honest, I don't see a future for myself at USMMA. I never had an interest in the naval spectrum of the military, nor a desire to participate in the mandatory Sea Year. My parents, lets just say, aren't the best. If I'm not accepted into either SA, they want me to stay home another year and attend the local college and reapply OR enlist. I know if I stay home another year my mental health will take a turn for the worse, and I don't want to stay any longer. It's a plan right now to move in with my grandparents after I graduate, and stay with them until it's time to leave for college. They constantly are pushing the military on me, stating it's the only way I'll get my life together and have a good future. It's making me realize how much I value freedom, and I now yearn for a civilian college experience. Yes, the military is an amazing opportunity, however I don't believe it's the right fit for me after the past few months. I do want to fly, so I'm planning to do pilot training and fly commercially if I don't pursue the military path. Those are my thoughts so far, any help sorting them out would be appreciated.
Click to expand...
I think US Airways started their own Pilot academy much like the Flight Attendant Academy. You can always apply. If not accepted the first time, take a flight course for six months and reapply.
 
I was informed if I don't let my parents claim me on their taxes, I will receive more financial support from college.
Capt MJ said:
If you emancipate yourself (do the research), and are independent of financial support from parents, you are likely to be eligible for more college financial aid, unless your grandparents are assuming that burden of support. Think through financial support, healthcare, who pays for ypur phone/car/gas/insurance, things not covered by scholarships and other issues and have a plan if you are cutting the cord there.
Click to expand...
My grandparents have told me that no matter what they'll always support me. They're in control of my college fund and my grandmother offered to switch my phone plan to hers and they'll cover any additional expenses that a job or scholarships won't cover. I feel extremely fortunate to have them, and I would be at a loss if they weren't at my side.
Banzaipipeline said:
I think US Airways started their own Pilot academy much like the Flight Attendant Academy. You can always apply. If not accepted the first time, take a flight course for six months and reapply.
Click to expand...
My grandfather, who flew commercial after 20 years in the Air Force, advised me to apply to the one United started when I turn 18. It's definitely an option I'm looking into.

As long as I'm away from home, I'm happy. Well, that and I'm in a music program.
 
usafacellist2026 said:
I was informed if I don't let my parents claim me on their taxes, I will receive more financial support from college.

My grandparents have told me that no matter what they'll always support me. They're in control of my college fund and my grandmother offered to switch my phone plan to hers and they'll cover any additional expenses that a job or scholarships won't cover. I feel extremely fortunate to have them, and I would be at a loss if they weren't at my side.

My grandfather, who flew commercial after 20 years in the Air Force, advised me to apply to the one United started when I turn 18. It's definitely an option I'm looking into.

As long as I'm away from home, I'm happy. Well, that and I'm in a music program.
Click to expand...
Yes, I watched it in the news when this former sheriff deputy was accepted to the pilot academy. No experience required, so there are strings attached like you can’t transfer to another airlines after graduation.
 
FlyFalcon said:
Hey hun,
The main reason people fail out of service academies is because they don't have a reason to be there. Whether its parents or wrong life style they drop. I've seen you around and I'm like you in wanting to fly.

Home life? Kinda the same deal, it's not surprised I choose a prep school across the country. I wouldn't call it bad but well I wouldn't call it home.

Flying is home for me. I always enjoyed community service that's why I chose the military. I will be proud 4th generation air force and sure I've had my father give me a bit of pressure as the oldest. But when it comes down to those times alone or feeling alone that's when I still decide USAFA. The prep school had alot of lonely moments for me. I loved my roommates, but in a room full of crowded people I still felt alone often.

Military isn't for everyone. I do believe doing 4 years gives and experience you can't get anywhere else, yet we're a volunteer force for a reason. We value our members, even if there's room for improvement. Going the civilian path might have more unknowns but remember you can always join the military later in life.

My father joined when he was 30. He did a proud 18 years in the air force. He didn't join earlier on because he wanted to be a lawyer and help people. When he realized he couldn't help people in that way he thought about JAG and eventually just going in as a business man. He went through OTS and only retired early because of medical. He enjoyed his work because he chose it later in life, after he experienced life a bit. He originally didn't go in because he couldn't bare being away from the only "normal" thing he knew, his family.

Remember there's always next year and the year after that to reapply, enlist, go to ROTC or go to OTS. Life has no set stepping stones. One way may be harder but it doesn't make it any less worth it. "The greatest view comes after the hardest climb" wasn't on my graduation cap for nothing. Military will accept you when you are ready. It's your life getting shot at not your parents, or grandparents. In any situation I want my wingman to have my back because they want to be there. Not because their parents wanted them to be there.

We support your decision. Run towards something not away.
Click to expand...
Totally agree. I’m not there obviously but I don’t think I could even get close to making it through the Academy if it wasn’t of my own motivation from what I’ve heard and researched about it. Even though my dad went he has never pressured me into it besides asking me if I wanted to go which I am grateful for.

Also can’t help but notice you will be 4th generation AF! That’s pretty cool, if I make it I will only be 3rd generation.
 
I agree with the person above who said USMMA is not a great fit for someone who dreams of aviation. It's its own place, not Almost Air Force, and you'll have trouble graduating if you're not really into the maritime life. So if you don't get in to an academy you prefer this year try to find a local school your parents approve of that offers AFROTC and walk on to the unit there. As a fallback you can work towards earning a scholarship there while you reapply.
 
Skyhawk said:
Also can’t help but notice you will be 4th generation AF! That’s pretty cool, if I make it I will only be 3rd generation.
Click to expand...
Hah yea my great grandfather was a doc in the army air corps and joined the air force when it became a thing. I believe he joined to avoid being drafted though his year was never pull.
 
usafacellist2026 said:
I was informed if I don't let my parents claim me on their taxes, I will receive more financial support from college.

My grandparents have told me that no matter what they'll always support me. They're in control of my college fund and my grandmother offered to switch my phone plan to hers and they'll cover any additional expenses that a job or scholarships won't cover. I feel extremely fortunate to have them, and I would be at a loss if they weren't at my side.

My grandfather, who flew commercial after 20 years in the Air Force, advised me to apply to the one United started when I turn 18. It's definitely an option I'm looking into.

As long as I'm away from home, I'm happy. Well, that and I'm in a music program.
Click to expand...
Make sure you check with a tax professional about who can claim who as a dependent. There are rules. And it can be a mess if they aren’t followed (speaking from experience…one of my kids thought they could claim themselves, not us, when the moved out and he did it. But was wrong. Got into a big mess he had to work through). Also, tax laws and your FAFSA are two different animal. Just make sure you check and are on the correct path as far as tax and FAFSA dependency.

Your story touches me! You sound like you have a good handle on things and a solid support system. Got me thinking about my own grandparents who were significant in my own challenging and difficult upbringing. You are blessed. And they love you dearly ♥️.

BTW….the military is t the only way to ‘get you life together’. That’s their perspective, and it’s fine and understandable for them to think this. Don’t know your situation obviously…but I was a HOT MESS in HS, and in adulthood, found my jam. I turned out great!! And your own experiences will be what make you an empathetic adult. Who you are in HS, is not who you will become. You get to choose who you will be, using the pieces of your past to propel you forward. Wrote your own story.

There is not a more exciting and wondrous time in a persons life, as when they leave the nest of their youth…enter into the young adulthood of who they are yet to be!! And especially if you are the oldest, this is all new to your parents, too. But your grandparents have been through this already with your mom/dad….such is the journey of life.

You got this 💯!!
 
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Swimmergirl2029 said:
Pursue the path that you want. This isn’t your parents decision.
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Exactly.

The OP could take out loans and pay for their own way to college. But in this case someone else is coming up with that $$$$ not the OP.

Its a rich or well off kids tough decision. Where do I go to school that parents or GPS will be paying for. And of course a desire to never enlist As a way to serve their country.

You are not unusual OP.

Most kids want freedom as you say you want, they don’t want to serve their country in the military to preserve that freedom. So they don’t.

Most HS kids who go to college like you will, have someone else pay for college.

Yours is a fairly typical problem that thousands in the US have.

Good luck on what ever civilian career you manage to get.
 
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