Parent of prospective midship

D

Dirk Calloway

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Hello! I am a parent to a high schooler who aspires to become a midshipman.

This makes me immensely proud at the thought of her service to our country but I am also concerned.

Aside from the obvious sacrifices of all, I am concerned about her safety as a young woman and a person of color. Any members here that are either- please share your first hand experiences.

Additionally, and I hope you can read this in the spirit that I intend, but the military doesn’t vibe with some of my own beliefs as a borderline hippy, peace, love and grave suspicion of nation building and war.

If any midshipman can share their experience if you identify as having left leaning parents (how I self identify and how my daughter does at this point) and how that’s affected your time at USNA- I would appreciate it very much.

Please know I offer these questions sincerely and with respect to the sacrifice and service you will do (or have done) for our country. Ito a joy to watch your kids become adults even when they diverge in opinions. I look forward to supporting her in whatever she decides to do. I’m so pleased she wants to be of service and be part of something bigger than herself. Thanks in advance for the feedback.
 
If you look at the Academy's class portrait, every year they increase in women and minority midshipmen. The Academy is attempting to grow in diversity and offer new perspectives. Also, every geographic area in the US is represented - so there are surely other people with different ideas. There are some guys who are pretty okay with women in the military, most are. USNA also takes sexual assault very seriously - all male midshipmen have to go to seminars about it.
 
Dear OP,

First of all congratulations to you and your family and we wish your daughter best on this incredible journey to becoming a MID and then becoming a worthy Officer in US Armed forces. I can only give you perspective of a father ( minority) who has a daughter ( plebe) at USNA. Though our family may have different ideological beliefs ( opposite to yours) but we share a common belief in a document that is US Constitution. I guess that is a good starting point.

When my family started with this journey, I had some of the same questions in terms of race, color, gender, religion But as we explored more, spoke to some of career military folks ( lot of them here on this forum) and heard their experiences, we knew this would be the best place for our daughter to grow, serve the country and be part of something bigger than herself.

Do all share the same beliefs and ideologies at USNA as our daughter, my guess is NO. But that is the best part is that they learn to work with all and start to build those bonds and friendships that transcend these minor differences.

During our application process and even now at USNA , no one cared a damn what color she is, her religion, her ethnic background or gender. What mattered was her credentials, what she brought to the table.

My recommendation is explore this forum, do a google search on some key words with forum. You will find answers and may be able to connect with few of them. @Capt MJ is one of them, I am sure she will provide you with some data points and guidance.

Wish your family the best.
 

CLASS OF 2025 STATS​

POSTED ON: WEDNESDAY, JUNE 30, 2021 9:07 AM BY MEDIARELATIONS@USNA.EDU



CLASS OF 2025 (as of June 25, 2021):


PROJECTED CLASS SIZE: APPLICATIONS:

Men ........... 838 Men ............... 11,400 Majority ...... 9,649

Women ...... 348 Women .......... 4,865 Minority ...... 6,616

Total ....... 1,186 Total .............. 16,265

WOMEN & MINORITIES:

The Class of 2025 includes 348 women (29%) and a total of 485 minority midshipmen (41%).

GEOGRAPHIC REPRESENTATION:

Midshipmen were admitted from every state in the Nation, as well as the District of Columbia, American Samoa, Guam, Northern Mariana Islands, and Puerto Rico.

INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS:

The Class of 2025 also includes 16 international students from Egypt (1), Fiji (1), Ghana (1), Indonesia (2), Jordan (1), Maldives (1), Malaysia (1), Peru (1), Philippines (2), Sri Lanka (1), Taiwan (1), Thailand (1), and Tunisia (2).

ALUMNI SONS AND DAUGHTERS:

The Class of 2025 includes 55 sons and 22 daughters of Naval Academy alumni. Eleven members of the entering class have both parents who are alumni of the Naval Academy.

EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND:

The Class of 2025 includes students from college and post high school preparatory programs, which include:

  • 209 from Naval Academy Preparatory School (NAPS) in Newport, R.I. (prior enlisted: 44 Navy and 11 Marine Corps)
  • 45 from the U.S. Naval Academy Foundation Program/Civilian Prep Program
PRIOR ENLISTED:

Navy…………....63

Marine Corps…..13

Total…………....76

USNA
 
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Our daughter is a Youngster at the Academy …. I think it’s safer there on the Yard than it is at most U.S college Campuses ... MPs with M16’s guarding the place.

Anyway, if anyone violated and seriously harmed my beautiful bird in any way, I’d first kick’em senseless with my Bad Leg … then I’d kill the bastard.
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In our son's experience at USNA he has met all manner of Midshipmen. There is no cookie cutter model and it truly is a melting pot of diversity, thought, ideals, background, economics, private/public school, prior enlisted etc. Whether you grew up in a rural setting with tending livestock as a morning chore driving a long commute to a small rural public high school (my kid), or rode the subway to an urban Tech high school (having never seen a live cow), you fit right in at USNA.

I believe that to have been true when my grandfather attended and I believe it to be true now.

In terms of safety, I would feel better about my daughter being at an academy than a U of X. Hands down, no question. Does that mean that academies are free from risks in terms of sexual harassment? Absolutely not. But in the case of our DS, the women he has bonded with have his respect and he would view them as a sister, and protect them as such.

As @txfwindian said, reach out via message to some posters. In my time here, I have reached out to some privately and gotten tremendous feedback and guidance. I have in turn paid it forward and have been rewarded by seeing the success of the families that selected USNA. That's not to say it's a smooth sail from here, rough seas will happen, but the ship seems to right itself--- that's the best part.
 
To your first point: My DD is a female and — as many have told her over the years — of ambiguous race and ethnicity (e.g. not obviously white, not obviously non-white). She’s never once mentioned that this status has affected her standing or safety, whether positively or negatively. She’s managed to have an outstanding experience 3.5 years in; has excelled academically and athletically; and has won important billets. (Knock on wood.)

She has many shipmates who are women of color who’ve had similar experiences. Doesn’t mean nothing is awry, but I do know that there’s a strong bond among mids that transcends gender or race — one that’s built on shared experiences, miseries, anxieties, adversities and triumphs. It’s that well-worn phrase of “being part of something bigger than myself.”

To your second point: We live in one of the most liberal counties in ‘Merica (I suspect you’d feel at home here). Yet every year, our left-tilting county sends its fair share to the SAs, and the nom process is quite competitive. Our MOC (dependably red as he is) speaks so proudly and genuinely about those he’s nominated each year. We’ve met several of these families, and they come from a broad political spectrum. The common denominator seems to be an appreciation for the freedoms we have, and a desire to protect our way of life and to make it even better.

In my corporate career, I traveled to places like China, Russia, Hungary, South Korea, Poland, India, Argentina, Malaysia, Turkey — not your typical enlightened North American or Western European cultures steeped in “free people, free markets.” Please trust me when I say that you would not be able to comfortably, safely and unconsciously practice your “borderline hippy, peace, love and grave suspicion of nation building and war” in those countries the way you can here. And that’s worth fighting for, isn’t it? Maybe not by you (or me) personally, but if your daughter (and my daughter) believes so, then that’s what matters.

I trust your daughter aspires to not just be a midshipman, e.g. prestigious degree, free education, snazzy uniforms. I trust that she truly aspires to be a commissioned officer; to lead our sailors and Marines, in combat if necessary; and to defend the Constitution that makes our respective beliefs possible. If that’s the case, you raised her well.
 
txfwindian said:
Dear OP,

First of all congratulations to you and your family and we wish your daughter best on this incredible journey to becoming a MID and then becoming a worthy Officer in US Armed forces. I can only give you perspective of a father ( minority) who has a daughter ( plebe) at USNA. Though our family may have different ideological beliefs ( opposite to yours) but we share a common belief in a document that is US Constitution. I guess that is a good starting point.

When my family started with this journey, I had some of the same questions in terms of race, color, gender, religion But as we explored more, spoke to some of career military folks ( lot of them here on this forum) and heard their experiences, we knew this would be the best place for our daughter to grow, serve the country and be part of something bigger than herself.

Do all share the same beliefs and ideologies at USNA as our daughter, my guess is NO. But that is the best part is that they learn to work with all and start to build those bonds and friendships that transcend these minor differences.

During our application process and even now at USNA , no one cared a damn what color she is, her religion, her ethnic background or gender. What mattered was her credentials, what she brought to the table.

My recommendation is explore this forum, do a google search on some key words with forum. You will find answers and may be able to connect with few of them. @Capt MJ is one of them, I am sure she will provide you with some data points and guidance.

Wish your family the best.
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Thanks for the thoughtful response and your service!
 
MidCakePa said:
To your first point: My DD is a female and — as many have told her over the years — of ambiguous race and ethnicity (e.g. not obviously white, not obviously non-white). She’s never once mentioned that this status has affected her standing or safety, whether positively or negatively. She’s managed to have an outstanding experience 3.5 years in; has excelled academically and athletically; and has won important billets. (Knock on wood.)

She has many shipmates who are women of color who’ve had similar experiences. Doesn’t mean nothing is awry, but I do know that there’s a strong bond among mids that transcends gender or race — one that’s built on shared experiences, miseries, anxieties, adversities and triumphs. It’s that well-worn phrase of “being part of something bigger than myself.”

To your second point: We live in one of the most liberal counties in ‘Merica (I suspect you’d feel at home here). Yet every year, our left-tilting county sends its fair share to the SAs, and the nom process is quite competitive. Our MOC (dependably red as he is) speaks so proudly and genuinely about those he’s nominated each year. We’ve met several of these families, and they come from a broad political spectrum. The common denominator seems to be an appreciation for the freedoms we have, and a desire to protect our way of life and to make it even better.

In my corporate career, I traveled to places like China, Russia, Hungary, South Korea, Poland, India, Argentina, Malaysia, Turkey — not your typical enlightened North American or Western European cultures steeped in “free people, free markets.” Please trust me when I say that you would not be able to comfortably, safely and unconsciously practice your “borderline hippy, peace, love and grave suspicion of nation building and war” in those countries the way you can here. And that’s worth fighting for, isn’t it? Maybe not by you (or me) personally, but if your daughter (and my daughter) believes so, then that’s what matters.

I trust your daughter aspires to not just be a midshipman, e.g. prestigious degree, free education, snazzy uniforms. I trust that she truly aspires to be a commissioned officer; to lead our sailors and Marines, in combat if necessary; and to defend the Constitution that makes our respective beliefs possible. If that’s the case, you raised her well.
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Thanks for this response. You’re right, we are fortunate and it has come at great expense.
 
MidCakePa said:
In my corporate career, I traveled to places like China, Russia, Hungary, South Korea, Poland, India, Argentina, Malaysia, Turkey — not your typical enlightened North American or Western European cultures steeped in “free people, free markets.” Please trust me when I say that you would not be able to comfortably, safely and unconsciously practice your “borderline hippy, peace, love and grave suspicion of nation building and war” in those countries the way you can here. And that’s worth fighting for, isn’t it? Maybe not by you (or me) personally, but if your daughter (and my daughter) believes so, then that’s what matters.
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Poland≠China, Russia, India, Argentina, Turkey or Hungary.
 
cb7893 said:
Poland≠China, Russia, India, Argentina, Turkey or Hungary.
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Having been to Poland numerous times and having had meaningful conversations with the natives, I beg to differ. It’s indeed a democratic state and member of NATO and the EU. It’s the most reformed of all the countries in the former Soviet sphere. And clearly the fiercest U.S. ally in Eastern Europe.

But many of its citizens and institutions have unapologetic — if somewhat concealed — ties to white supremacy or the old Soviet empire or anti-Semitism or Fascism, among other things. We can blame it on the country’s location at the crossroads of so much compelling and unsavory history.

None of the countries I mentioned is liberal or illiberal — classic definition — to the same degree. My point is that none of them matches the U.S. in terms of political and personal freedoms. Not even close! Though we’re doing our darndest to catch them.

Not going to get into a political debate here, since that would hijak the thread. If we disagree, so be it.
 
As someone who self identifies as a moderate at least , it’s all about service to country. And doing your share and then some.

It’s not about any particular war or foreign or domestic policy. And it’s not about good wars and bad wars. There will be a desire to serve on your DD part or there will not be.

For a few years back in the day I gave on line enlistment advice on a forum for kids thinking of enlisting.

A popular question——I want to enlist my parents dont support my decision—-how can I convince my parents?

Dont try was my answer. It’s not their decision to make or be happy with..

The parents don’t have to be comfortable with your decision or support it. In fact good for your parents if they are not comfortable with your decision.

Many a sane loving parent would have some reservations about their child joining the military.


Let your parents have that view if they want.
 
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Dirk Calloway said:
Hello! I am a parent to a high schooler who aspires to become a midshipman.
Click to expand...
Welcome. You are in the right place!

Dirk Calloway said:
This makes me immensely proud at the thought of her service to our country but I am also concerned.
Click to expand...
This reaction is pretty typical. If you weren't both proud and concerned, this would be a tough journey. Since you are, it will still be tough, but not as bad as you think.

Dirk Calloway said:
Aside from the obvious sacrifices of all, I am concerned about her safety as a young woman and a person of color. Any members here that are either- please share your first hand experiences.
Click to expand...
Again, this is a typical reaction. The concerns you have are justified, BUT your daughter will have tremendous opportunity at Navy. In many ways, she will be "safer" at Navy than at a civilian college. She will have a lot of brothers and sisters who will be looking out for her well being. It won't be perfect, but it will be better than you think. A young woman of color will often be alone, but she will also be surrounded by her brothers and sisters (without regard to color) and my kids tell me that they quickly felt that they belonged to something bigger.

Dirk Calloway said:
Additionally, and I hope you can read this in the spirit that I intend, but the military doesn’t vibe with some of my own beliefs as a borderline hippy, peace, love and grave suspicion of nation building and war.
Click to expand...
Sorry, but your "beliefs" won't really matter. Your daughter's beliefs/interests will be what matter. I'm pretty sure that Navy is not teaching "nation building" as if that is some goal of our military. It is definitely teaching war fighting. So, you'll need to accept that. If your daughter doesn't want to become a warrior, Navy is probably not a good fit. If she wants to become a warrior and feels drawn to leading in that context, it will be a great fit.

If this is a good fit for your daughter, put your own issues to the side and get behind her. Having a strong support system is very important to SA kids because life at a service academy is tough - and it has to be. Good luck to you and your daughter!!
 
Check the USNA website. There is an office of diversity and inclusion that may answer some of your questions. Contacts that she/you can reach out to. Btw, UNSA’s newest Rhodes Scholar is an African American female. Everyone there is doing big things. I cannot speak to the experience as a Mid, but I can say that diversity and inclusion initiatives are strong and present on the Yard.

adding link here: https://www.usna.edu/Diversity/

I would highly recommend reaching out, attending a CVW, getting a first hand look. Good luck!
 
Dirk Calloway said:
...I am concerned about her safety as a young woman and a person of color...
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I would ask if you're paying more attention to media narratives than what's really going on out there in society at large.

I ask this, because there are few college campuses in this country which are set up to be safer for students than the United States Naval Academy.
The campus is small (only about 300 acres). The gates are impenetrable (when they need to be), and armed guards are stationed at each one of them. To underscore their commitment to living a life of honor, midshipmen have developed and implemented their own living document known as the Honor Treatise of the Brigade of Midshipmen, which continues to be the cornerstone of honorable life at the academy today. Honor is what society can and should, be built upon. A society without honor is doomed to misery and failure.

The Brigade of Midshipmen are augmented each year with a new class - representing a diverse range of students selected from all 50 states - and echoing the very same makeup of our republic. If your daughter has what it takes to become a Midshipman, she'll find that she will instantly become part of a bigger family. She'll have a bunch of brothers and sisters who will look out for her and help her along her path and they'll expect her to do the same for them. No one gets through the academy alone. As for the person of color part - everyone in the military is green - so while it may matter to you to ask about it as a civilian, it makes no difference to us. There is just simply too much to do and too much to learn in four short years for any of that to make a difference to anyone.
 
Dirk Calloway said:
Additionally, and I hope you can read this in the spirit that I intend, but the military doesn’t vibe with some of my own beliefs as a borderline hippy, peace, love and grave suspicion of nation building and war.
Click to expand...
Military members don't make the decision to go to war or to engage in nation building. Politicians do. Time served by your daughter in the USN or Marine Corps should have no impact on your ideological sensibilities.
 
dddad said:
Welcome. You are in the right place!


This reaction is pretty typical. If you weren't both proud and concerned, this would be a tough journey. Since you are, it will still be tough, but not as bad as you think.


Again, this is a typical reaction. The concerns you have are justified, BUT your daughter will have tremendous opportunity at Navy. In many ways, she will be "safer" at Navy than at a civilian college. She will have a lot of brothers and sisters who will be looking out for her well being. It won't be perfect, but it will be better than you think. A young woman of color will often be alone, but she will also be surrounded by her brothers and sisters (without regard to color) and my kids tell me that they quickly felt that they belonged to something bigger.


Sorry, but your "beliefs" won't really matter. Your daughter's beliefs/interests will be what matter. I'm pretty sure that Navy is not teaching "nation building" as if that is some goal of our military. It is definitely teaching war fighting. So, you'll need to accept that. If your daughter doesn't want to become a warrior, Navy is probably not a good fit. If she wants to become a warrior and feels drawn to leading in that context, it will be a great fit.

If this is a good fit for your daughter, put your own issues to the side and get behind her. Having a strong support system is very important to SA kids because life at a service academy is tough - and it has to be. Good luck to you and your daughter!!
Click to expand...
Thank you! Good words.
 
My daughter is a plebe. She is not an official minority but still coming from an immigrant family (Eastern Europe).
She has voiced several typical complains to us - like being constantly busy, loads of work, lack of time, physically exhausted, food is not great, AC/heaters not working properly, lack of sleep, uncomfortable uniforms, etc.
But never ever she has mentioned that she feels unsafe or is treated poorly because of who she is. Her friends circle is very diverse - boys and girls of all origins and backgrounds. I don't think it matters to them. Just be a cool and responsible teammate. Do your work, and they'll have your back.
 
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