Re-Applying After Being Separated

[justdoit19]

Aqua Rain had a series of issues that may or may not apply to other mids. I hope he/she (maintaining anonymity) has found happiness and success.

Most of the "old timers" on this forum have lots of experience with issues mids go through, either as a former mid, parent of a mid, senior officer at USNA, etc. Being perfectly honest, these are probably better sources of advice and information than a mid who separated nearly a decade ago. We stay on these boards year after year in order to help folks like you. Do reach out.

Hopefully mom @Murlisik comes back….y’all really are a GREAT resource! We had a plebe leave, early, no parental outreach at all. POOF they were just gone. I really think, that while parents are not there, their support and ability to be a sounding board is important. Especially during plebe summer/year. And those new-to-this parents need to know how to support their struggles. My own had his issues, and if I hadn’t ‘talked him off the ledge’ so to speak, with the help of others, if he didnt have us for cheerleaders (NOT enablers), his outcome may have been very different. And i do wonder if the outcome for this other plebe we lost, would have been different had we (battle buddies…here on the forum, and state clubs, etc) had the opportunity to help the parents, help their plebe.

 

[armypanda_]

Hopefully mom comes back….y’all really are a GREAT resource! We had a plebe leave, early, no parental outreach at all. POOF they were just gone. I really think, that while parents are not there, their support and ability to be a sounding board is important. Especially during plebe summer/year. And those new-to-this parents need to know how to support their struggles. My own had his issues, and if I hadn’t ‘talked him off the ledge’ so to speak, with the help of others, if he didnt have us for cheerleaders (NOT enablers), his outcome may have been very different. And i do wonder if the outcome for this other plebe we lost, would have been different had we (battle buddies…here on the forum, and state clubs, etc) had the opportunity to help the parents, help their plebe.

Their parents might not have been supportive or something... that sucks

 

[justdoit19]

Their parents might not have been supportive or something... that sucks

I was speaking to @Murlisik, who is a Mid Mom

 

[armypanda_]

I was speaking to @Murlisik, who is a Mid Mom

Sounded like you were talking to the forum abyss. Your second sentence says “Y’all” who is not referring to murlisik, and then you explain a general story; you can just be honest and say you never asked for my opinion or something.

 

[justdoit19]

Sounded like you were talking to the forum abyss. Your second sentence says “Y’all” who is not referring to murlisik, and then you explain a general story; you can just be honest and say you never asked for my opinion or something.

Hey not sure why this is going wonky, my second sentence “yall’ refers to the “old timers” from the SAF, that I quoted?

I was just trying to clarify that i was tagging onto the current convo, meaning the current mom who posted, vs the looong gone OP, as I already mention to mom in my initial post. She is a new member and often new members don’t catch the date of posts.

BTW, I feel deeply for this mom. Been there. Not sure why you are jumping on me or correcting my grammar if indeed it’s incorrect. And I’m not at all telling you I want asking your opinion. People here know I greatly support all opinions….all are welcome and make the forums even better. I was clarifying the zombie post vs new mom. That’s all. Nothing personal towards you.

 

[Usnavy2019]

And to make this developmental, @armypanda_ , a quality expected in the professional world is that when you encounter new groups (like SAF), it serves one well to listen, observe, and ask questions initially. Part of that observation period is understanding who the big fish in the pond are. SAF is quite welcoming to new members, but as with any organization, when a new member doesn't treat established members with civility, it gets noticed. I'm not saying you're uncivil at all, but a "sorry for the confusion" or a "gotcha" would have been sufficient.

Let's make it all water under the bridge. Learning has hopefully occurred and we can all go back to our regularly scheduled programming.

 

[usna1985]

Back to the current mid mom, it is very common for plebes to struggle, some more than others. Those of us who've been through USNA and come out the other end will tell you that plebe Ac Year (NOT PS) is the hardest part of your time at USNA. Within that, the first 8 weeks of Ac Year and the months of Jan/Feb are the absolute worst. Though some struggle much later.

The good news is that the "bad times" almost always end. Today, if you want to stay and put in the effort, USNA will do its utmost to support you (which wasn't the case in my day).

The above said, there are some people for whom USNA is the wrong place -- they will be happier and more successful following a different path. I personally don't think one has sufficient perspective in August of plebe year to make that assessment. So it's providing the plebe -- and parents -- tools to help get through those tough times until the sun comes out again. If the current mid's mom is an upperclass, different set of circumstances, so different advice.

We "old-timers" aren't necessary "big fish," but we are typically older and wiser and have seen and done a lot more than most of the younger and newer posters. And, as noted, we stay on this forum primarily to impart that wisdom.

 

[Heatherg21]

@Murlisik I hope you stick around and seek support from SAF posters. It is normal for Plebes to struggle. For sure. Mine had medical stuff and injury during his plebe 1st semester and that added to the normal burdens of plebe year. The dark ages of Jan/Feb are horrible for many, that too is a rough patch (pro tip, send Cavalry Cookie deliveries, check them out on FB or google).

Please feel free (once you have enough posts) to private message me, or anyone for help/counsel/soft place to vent. I have had posters here be my saving grace when DS was going through rough patches. I also have gained true lifelong friendships via this forum. Looking forward to meeting up with one of them next weekend at 2/C weekend.

Thankfully, DS is doing well and on his way. Cannot believe 2/C year is here already. The hard times do get smaller in the rearview mirror according to him.

Also, as @justdoit19 has mentioned before, please feel comfortable reaching out to your state parent club. I am a board member of ours and my job is to mentor plebe parents. They can be a tremendous resource for you. No matter how much I love my best friends, their kids are at regular college, missing class, and going to parties. They cannot possibly fathom the rigor that your DS/DD faces every day. Or, the tremendous opportunities that DS/DD can have moving forward.