@JJ2372k
Think of it as a series of conversations.
You must be resolute, respectful, patient, mature. You must listen to understand, not just refute. Accept when a parent asks about X, which seems minor, they may really be thinking “my kid could get killed.” This is something they may not be able to say aloud, and they for darn sure can’t bear to think about it. You cannot tell them it won’t happen to you. They have more life experience than you, and they know it can. There is an emotional element to this which you should acknowledge and plan for. Your parents’ job to this point has been to keep you safe, and they have a transition to make too.
- Break the news.
- Respond, respect, educate, repeat as necessary, because they may still be reeling from the “break the news,” and need time to progress through understanding to acceptance.
- Stick to your “whys.”
- Be the most adult you can be, which helps them to start the transition to seeing you as an adult. Promise yourself no eye-rolling!
- Anticipate their objections, negative impressions, lack of knowledge, and be prepared with links, printouts or “Mom, I don’t know the answer to that, I will research it and get back to you.” Don’t guess or pooh-pooh the question.
- Demonstrate you have thought beyond the 4 ROTC years and the 5-year Service obligation or beyond, and the career paths open to you, the desirability of vet junior officers in the work place, the post-9/11 GI Bill benefits, that you can get a paid-for Master’s in or out of the service, at top schools. Show them Military MoJo, Corporate Gray, MOAA Careers, Lucas Group, Bradley-Morris, Orion, Cameron-Brooks, and the many other groups and companies that support military leaders when they transition to the civilian sector. Your leadership skills, resource management, ability to perform in a high-pressure environment, your security clearance - all highly sought after. This might be one of the conversations during the “education” phase.
- As noted in another post, frame this as a step-wise process, that you have a year or two to see if ROTC and the military are a good fit for you, before committing.
- Be clear and consistent on your reasons. I agree the money aspect will not be the key. You have thought about this long and hard, you have done your research, you want to serve in uniform, this is the path that feels right to you, and you can get your college education along with preparation to serve as an officer, the “white collar” leadership and management element of the service.
- Brainstorm all the stereotypes about the military and Marines, and be prepared to combat them.
Handy reference:
General James Mattis, USMC, (Ret), NROTC grad. His recommended reading lists, of which there are several, depending on the target audience, are excellent antidotes to “crayon-eating” tropes.
https://sill-www.army.mil/USAFAS/_docs/SECDEF reading list.pdf
Above all, be patient and kind as your parents get used to the chick in their nest that wants to fly in an unexpected direction. Emotional intelligence and empathy are also desirable leadership traits.