Teachers turning SA appointments against me

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bubblyroses

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Joined
Feb 4, 2022
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Ever since I got into the SAs and told my teachers about them, I feel like that very fact has been turned against me as a way to justify heightened expectations. A few examples:

- I'm definitely not the fastest on my swim team but I'm not slow either. I improved a lot this season but my coach mentioned to the assistant coach that he'd have thought i'd "be faster for someone who's going to west point" (not indicative of my decision, that's where he thinks I want to go).

- A teacher scheduled a meeting during my morning free block, and I asked if we could schedule the next one during a free block that wasn't in the morning because I'd had my study halls eaten up by meetings, athletics, and theater productions so I worked later into the night than normal. I tried to tell him about how busy I was and he wasn't willing to listen and cut me off to say "for someone who wants to go to west point you're sure complaining a lot about not being able to sleep in" (again, not indicative of my choice, that's just the name that my teachers have remembered).

- We took a walk during stats class to the woods near school to take some measurements and collect data, and I said it was hot outside and my teacher literally said "you can't complain, you're going to the military." Sure, he laughed, but did he mean that?

Maybe i'm reading too much into these comments but it almost feels like my appointments have been weaponized in such a way that I'm somehow not allowed to complain about anything at all or that I should be better at everything or know how to tolerate more than others because I got into a SA, but that's all I did: get. in. I applied to college just like everyone else, and yeah I had to jump through the nomination, cfa, dodmerb hoops to qualify for an appointment, but AS OF NOW I am just like any other high schooler. I appreciate the prestige people have lent to my appointments because I am really proud of the work I've put in, but I am not attending a service academy and haven't had that real, military rigidity instilled in me, so I'm sorry if I want to take advantage of one of the last sleep-ins I have left in my academic career. Everyone keeps telling me to enjoy my senior year and that's what I'm trying to do.

Sorry for the lengthiness of this rant, it's just something I've been feeling for a while and I wanted to know if someone else had some other perspective that I'm maybe not seeing.
 
bubblyroses said:
Ever since I got into the SAs and told my teachers about them, I feel like that very fact has been turned against me as a way to justify heightened expectations. A few examples:

- I'm definitely not the fastest on my swim team but I'm not slow either. I improved a lot this season but my coach mentioned to the assistant coach that he'd have thought i'd "be faster for someone who's going to west point" (not indicative of my decision, that's where he thinks I want to go).

- A teacher scheduled a meeting during my morning free block, and I asked if we could schedule the next one during a free block that wasn't in the morning because I'd had my study halls eaten up by meetings, athletics, and theater productions so I worked later into the night than normal. I tried to tell him about how busy I was and he wasn't willing to listen and cut me off to say "for someone who wants to go to west point you're sure complaining a lot about not being able to sleep in" (again, not indicative of my choice, that's just the name that my teachers have remembered).

- We took a walk during stats class to the woods near school to take some measurements and collect data, and I said it was hot outside and my teacher literally said "you can't complain, you're going to the military." Sure, he laughed, but did he mean that?

Maybe i'm reading too much into these comments but it almost feels like my appointments have been weaponized in such a way that I'm somehow not allowed to complain about anything at all or that I should be better at everything or know how to tolerate more than others because I got into a SA, but that's all I did: get. in. I applied to college just like everyone else, and yeah I had to jump through the nomination, cfa, dodmerb hoops to qualify for an appointment, but AS OF NOW I am just like any other high schooler. I appreciate the prestige people have lent to my appointments because I am really proud of the work I've put in, but I am not attending a service academy and haven't had that real, military rigidity instilled in me, so I'm sorry if I want to take advantage of one of the last sleep-ins I have left in my academic career. Everyone keeps telling me to enjoy my senior year and that's what I'm trying to do.

Sorry for the lengthiness of this rant, it's just something I've been feeling for a while and I wanted to know if someone else had some other perspective that I'm maybe not seeing.
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Here’s your perspective: 3.5 months from now, you will be so busy, you won’t care, and this will all be in your past life.

Some people have to pick away passive-aggressive style at things they don’t understand, or at shining paths opening up in front of people while they might feel stuck.

Tactics:
Assume positive intent.
Smile brilliantly and don’t respond.
Or, “You are absolutely right, I have many challenges facing me, and all this will seem unimportant when I am dealing with them.” Said in a neutral tone. Smile brilliantly.
- Wrong foot them by changing subject or complimenting them on something you can sincerely say. “I’ve been meaning to tell you how much I learned when you showed us “X,” and I appreciate your support of me as I have chosen to take the hard road of a service academy.” Thanking people for what they SHOULD have said or done and smiling pleasantly demonstrates you sailed right over whatever pettiness they were trying to tangle you in. Smile brilliantly - your path is leading away from them.
 
bubblyroses said:
Ever since I got into the SAs and told my teachers about them, I feel like that very fact has been turned against me as a way to justify heightened expectations. A few examples:

- I'm definitely not the fastest on my swim team but I'm not slow either. I improved a lot this season but my coach mentioned to the assistant coach that he'd have thought i'd "be faster for someone who's going to west point" (not indicative of my decision, that's where he thinks I want to go).

- A teacher scheduled a meeting during my morning free block, and I asked if we could schedule the next one during a free block that wasn't in the morning because I'd had my study halls eaten up by meetings, athletics, and theater productions so I worked later into the night than normal. I tried to tell him about how busy I was and he wasn't willing to listen and cut me off to say "for someone who wants to go to west point you're sure complaining a lot about not being able to sleep in" (again, not indicative of my choice, that's just the name that my teachers have remembered).

- We took a walk during stats class to the woods near school to take some measurements and collect data, and I said it was hot outside and my teacher literally said "you can't complain, you're going to the military." Sure, he laughed, but did he mean that?

Maybe i'm reading too much into these comments but it almost feels like my appointments have been weaponized in such a way that I'm somehow not allowed to complain about anything at all or that I should be better at everything or know how to tolerate more than others because I got into a SA, but that's all I did: get. in. I applied to college just like everyone else, and yeah I had to jump through the nomination, cfa, dodmerb hoops to qualify for an appointment, but AS OF NOW I am just like any other high schooler. I appreciate the prestige people have lent to my appointments because I am really proud of the work I've put in, but I am not attending a service academy and haven't had that real, military rigidity instilled in me, so I'm sorry if I want to take advantage of one of the last sleep-ins I have left in my academic career. Everyone keeps telling me to enjoy my senior year and that's what I'm trying to do.

Sorry for the lengthiness of this rant, it's just something I've been feeling for a while and I wanted to know if someone else had some other perspective that I'm maybe not seeing.
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Is this a trolling post? I would expect someone going to West Point to have thicker skin.
 
Not the same thing at all, but my son's French teacher burst out laughing incredulously when another student told them in class that my son was appointed to WP. Let's just say French is not son's strong suit. 🙂. Son and his friends got a lot of laughs out of that
 
Just my perspective as a parent who is watching her daughter , who gets up every day at 0430 hours to go to swim practice (she just competed in our state championships and was a finalist) prior to her classes starting at 0800 and then stays late after school at track practice for an additional two hours and has not heard anything from USMA , an institution she has wanted to attend since she was ten , she would be happy to have a service academy appointment being “weaponized” against her…
 
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Brings to mind this oldie but goodie.

@bubblyroses, you may or may not end up at an SA. But if you do, brace yourself for what others may say behind your back or to your face, whether you’re a cadet/mid or a commissioned officer. Leadership is a lonely thing, and social media only exacerbates the, ahem, negative feedback that one receives. Thick skin and a strong (but humble) sense of self goes a long way.

Whatever it is that people say to you or about you, please don’t call it “weaponizing” — not a word to be used lightly by someone contemplating the profession of arms.
 
bubblyroses said:
- We took a walk during stats class to the woods near school to take some measurements and collect data, and I said it was hot outside and my teacher literally said "you can't complain, you're going to the military." Sure, he laughed, but did he mean that?
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This is one of my personal favorites. As if being in the military somehow makes you actually enjoy being too hot/too cold. Everyone can complain, everyone WILL complain.
 
I appreciate the various comments and perspectives on this post. The general idea I am getting is that I should toughen up and brace myself for worse at the academies, and I will do so.
Rereading my post it does sound quite silly and I apologize to anyone whom I may have rubbed the wrong way. In the long run I am going to forget these things and they won't matter, so I definitely was being overly sensitive.
Going back to my wonderful lesson from Capt MJ earlier today about "looking right and looking left," I am continually learning about my impacts on others and appreciate the brutal honesty of this forum because I wouldn't learn any other way. Seriously, thank you all for your input and I apologize again.
 
@bubblyroses , everyone at times will vent and feel sorry for themselves just a bit. It's great to recognize this and objectively look at yourself and try to better yourself, which is why you are SA bound!

No need to tell you what you are getting into for BCT, Beast, Plebe summer, etc. But here is a great post to remind you when you are there:

People at the Academy

Are the people at USAFA nice? I’ve been looking into applying but I’m a bit worried about upperclassmen picking on Doolies.
www.serviceacademyforums.com
 
bubblyroses said:
I appreciate the various comments and perspectives on this post. The general idea I am getting is that I should toughen up and brace myself for worse at the academies, and I will do so.
Rereading my post it does sound quite silly and I apologize to anyone whom I may have rubbed the wrong way. In the long run I am going to forget these things and they won't matter, so I definitely was being overly sensitive.
Going back to my wonderful lesson from Capt MJ earlier today about "looking right and looking left," I am continually learning about my impacts on others and appreciate the brutal honesty of this forum because I wouldn't learn any other way. Seriously, thank you all for your input and I apologize again.
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You will figure it out. For some fun, head over the the “Your Son Or Daughter Is Going Where?” thread. That will give you some entertainment.

Your Son/Daughter is Going Where?? Round 2

With a nod to the OP @skismuggs who started this in the USAFA Forum a few years ago (see link, have fun reading), parents and others over the years have shared the range of reactions and comments they or their sons/daughters have received when sharing news of SA appointments, ROTC scholarships...
www.serviceacademyforums.com
 
Banshee Mom said:
Just my perspective as a parent who is watching her daughter , who gets up every day at 0430 hours to go to swim practice (she just competed in our stateI championships and was a finalist) prior to her classes starting at 0800 and then stays late after school at track practice for an additional two hours and has not heard anything from USMA , an institution she has wanted to attend since she was ten , she would be happy to have a service academy appointment being “weaponized” against her…
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I am very sorry to have spoken of my appointments in this light while your DD is awaiting her's. I do not know her but she sounds very hardworking and motivated from your description, and I am wishing her and your family the best of luck and praying for some good news and that BFE for you all. Also congratulations to her for being a finalist! Swimming is not easy, and I understand that. I train at 0600 but that's nowhere near 0430, so that's some real dedication on her part.
 
bubblyroses said:
I appreciate the various comments and perspectives on this post. The general idea I am getting is that I should toughen up and brace myself for worse at the academies, and I will do so.
Rereading my post it does sound quite silly and I apologize to anyone whom I may have rubbed the wrong way. In the long run I am going to forget these things and they won't matter, so I definitely was being overly sensitive.
Going back to my wonderful lesson from Capt MJ earlier today about "looking right and looking left," I am continually learning about my impacts on others and appreciate the brutal honesty of this forum because I wouldn't learn any other way. Seriously, thank you all for your input and I apologize again.
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There is a concept called “Shadow of the Leader.” We all cast one. This is all part of growth and maturity.

BTW, military people are always complaining about something among ourselves.
 
bubblyroses said:
I am very sorry to have spoken of my appointments in this light while your DD is awaiting her's. I do not know her but she sounds very hardworking and motivated from your description, and I am wishing her and your family the best of luck and praying for some good news and that BFE for you all. Also congratulations to her for being a finalist! Swimming is not easy, and I understand that. I train at 0600 but that's nowhere near 0430, so that's some real dedication on her part.
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Thank you . It’s very difficult as a parent, as I’m sure your parents also feel at times , to watch your child work so hard for something and not achieve it , especially when it has been a long time goal. This is a very fraught time for many on this forum who are still waiting for either the BFE (hopefully) or the TWE. I congratulate you on your accomplishments , appointments to three service academies is indeed very impressive, in my district , we are limited to only one choice for a nomination . I believe you will be successful wherever you decide to attend , you are willing to listen to advice , reflect and learn. Again, many on this forum are not in as fortunate a position as you are and emotions are running high (well, they are in my house ), so just maybe a little awareness of that . Good luck to you in all your future endeavors .
 
Banshee Mom said:
Thank you . It’s very difficult as a parent, as I’m sure your parents also feel at times , to watch your child work so hard for something and not achieve it , especially when it has been a long time goal. This is a very fraught time for many on this forum who are still waiting for either the BFE (hopefully) or the TWE. I congratulate you on your accomplishments , appointments to three service academies is indeed very impressive, in my district , we are limited to only one choice for a nomination . I believe you will be successful wherever you decide to attend , you are willing to listen to advice , reflect and learn. Again, many on this forum are not in as fortunate a position as you are and emotions are running high (well, they are in my house ), so just maybe a little awareness of that . Good luck to you in all your future endeavors .
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Not meant to be snarky, at all, but another suggestion, is for those that are “tense”, to stay off forums and social medias. Parents included. You or your DD/DS won’t miss anything. It’s tough to read stuff when your emotions are ‘running high’. Been there, done that, myself! Sometimes it’s easier and healthier to ‘unplug’.
 
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justdoit19 said:
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Not meant to be snarky, at all, but another suggestion, is for those that are “tense”, to stay off forums and social medias. You or your DD/DS won’t miss anything. It’s tough to read stuff when your emotions are ‘running high’. Been there, done that, myself! Sometimes it’s easier and healthier to ‘unplug’.
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I agree . DD has stayed away from it , she’s also been pretty busy , I am the guilty party . I think reading that the majority of appointments would come out in March and here we are at the end of March , I’ve been on this site more often . Not taking it as snark at all .
 
Now here is a way to see the reaction you are getting as a very positive response from your teachers. Even if they don’t know how to express it.

if you wanted to be looked at like every other college bound student in your class you should have picked State, U or Tech to attend. No one would give an extra care about your choice if you had.

If you had gone after a regular college you would be seen as a normal maybe above average student and the world is full of them. Even if you were trying for an officer military route.

Yes there are many routes to success in life and to an officers commission.

The SAs are different. They are looked on very differently. No matter what those around you say or how you hear what they say the motive behind those comments are ——awe. Maybe disbelief mixed in.

You are going to be looked at differently if you attend a SA.

People will correctly wonder if you are cut out for this, if you will succeed , or if you will be home a few weeks after IDay looking to apply to a local college.

People you know in life are going to be thinking about you in a way they would have never done if you had picked State U or Tech.

If you wanted to be treated like everyone else you should have picked a different path. Get used to people looking at you differently.
 
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