Your Son/Daughter is Going Where?? Round 2

Capt MJ

Capt MJ

Serviam.
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With a nod to the OP @skismuggs who started this in the USAFA Forum a few years ago (see link, have fun reading), parents and others over the years have shared the range of reactions and comments they or their sons/daughters have received when sharing news of SA appointments, ROTC scholarships, prep school offers, desire for military service, etc.

I decided to revive it here in a more general forum, so more could see and contribute. This is a place to share the truly inane, passive-aggressive, borderline insulting or just plain ignorant comments that are a major contributor to tongue-biting injuries in the U.S. each year. This is a safe place to share, as well as perhaps get a few tips on responses. Eye-rolling emojis welcome. The brilliantly sarcastic comebacks that were never spoken are encouraged.

The original thread:

Your son/daughter goes where???

I am trying to compile a list of questions and responses from people when you talk to them about your child. Anything from the silly to the uneducated ones are fine. 1-5 sentences preferable. Thanks. Background story to this is that over the weekend, I found myself answering what i thought...
www.serviceacademyforums.com

I’ll start with a vintage item just for fun. Way back in the 20th c., as I was headed to OCS after college, my mother’s best friend worried about what “sailor work with those ropes” would do to my hands and complexion, and her deep fear I’d never get a husband. Best friend’s husband said, “You shouldn’t go where you don’t belong.” My mother said, “She’ll be just fine wherever she goes.” I know she was biting her tongue, as a woman who had been an air traffic controller at Hickam Army Air Base in WWII.

Sincere, positive and informed comments from others are welcome too.
 
These responses are common among the 99 percent who have not served or have no connection to the military. They don't know and truthfully most do not care. "Thank you for your service" is a buzz phrase because they don't know anything else to say. I cringe when somebody thanks me for my service. Don't thank me. I traveled the world on your dime and still get a nice chunk of change dropped in the bank every month merely for the act of breathing. Another cringeworthy comment is: "The US spends more on its military than the next 13 countries." Really??? Have you been out here and seen who is keeping the sea lanes open or still manning the wire in Afghanistan? I'd bet money on the probability that floating in the 6th Fleet AOR right now is our carrier strike group, the MARG with embarked MEU, maybe one British frigate and auxiliary ship, and a Spanish destroyer. The US took on the burden of saving the world and then policing it for perpetuity apparently. And that costs lots of money.
 
DS was USMA'17
I have few from both ends of the spectrum.

The group that I hated the most, "Mom and Dad must sure be proud(True!) That's awesome that he gets a free education. Will he go in the Army afterwards?"

Then at work, back in the olden days when we had in-person meetings, when doing intros, I would say our oldest son was going/ had gone to school in New York. One of my co-workers would always have to chime in, " Not just in New York, but at West Point." Then come the comments from others that I mentioned above. SMDH.
 
Most of what we as parents have experienced with our USMA '24 has been extremely positive and more folks than ever are "in tune" with the whole West Point thing.

Really, the only interesting comments that DW and I have had recently were:

1. West Point? Where is that, North Carolina?
2. West Point? Jeez, that must be expensive? 😬

There was one comment from a not so well-known neighbor a few months ago that went political about our current CIC's reported slight of the military.

I recall it was something like: "Boy you must really feel badly that our President doesn't support the military".

Dang, I mean, how do you respond to that and keep the peace in your neighborhood???

Simply went with, "Those who serve or have served, don't get involved in politics; we're there to serve the Commander In Chief."

I had seen the bumper stickers on her car and knew beforehand who I was dealing with - I think my response shut her up, but she obviously watches too much TV and believes everything she hears...what are ya' going to do???
 
From neighbors: “After that fancy boarding school, what happened? Did you run out of money?”

From the fancy boarding school: He’s turning down <fancycolleges> for the military? <major head scratching>

From us: What the hell are you thinking? Over our dead bodies! You sit your butt right down in that chair...

Eventually we came around, but it took a long, long time before we ever volunteered his choice. (I posted a few other encounters on the original thread and our emotions after he accepted an appointment on the “Whip-sawed Parent” thread. This has been a long journey for us.)

Now, when people are aghast, I just say, “OMG, I know, right? It's horrible. WTF was he thinking? Kids. Can't control 'em. Let's have another martini." ;)
 
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A1Janitor said:
The one I have gotten several times:

Them: where does your son go to college?

Me: USNA

Them: I didn’t apply but West Point offered me an appointment. I enlisted instead.

Me: Nice
Click to expand...

I've got this one a few times as well!
Once from our local Congressman's mother about her grandson.

Her: "Where is your son going to college?"

Me: "Navy"

Her: "Oh yeah, my grandson got recruited to go there but he's just going to enlist because he's more suited for the military."

Okie doke, lady!
*eyeroll emoji*
 
VelveteenR said:
From neighbors: “After that fancy boarding school, what happened? Did you run out of money?”

From the fancy boarding school: He’s turning down <fancycolleges> for the military? <major head scratching>

From us: What the hell are you thinking? Over our dead bodies! You sit your butt right down in that chair...

Eventually we came around, but it took a long, long time before we ever volunteered his choice. (I posted a few other encounters on the original thread and our emotions after he accepted an appointment on the “Whip-sawed Parent” thread. This has been a long journey for us.)

Now, when people are aghast, I just say, “OMG, I know, right? It's horrible. WTF was he thinking? Kids. Can't control 'em. Let's have another martini." ;)
Click to expand...
You have experienced the full gamut!
 
There are people who truly just don’t know anything, from lack of exposure to the military community. They draw a few bits and pieces out of what they have heard or think they know, piece it together, and offer it up in an attempt to respond in some knowledgeable way, with some awkwardly awful results. I don’t mind those too much.

It’s the ones with the snark factor, revealing bias, ignorance and a dependence on stereotypes, that grate on me. Especially if it’s done in a passive-aggressive or baiting style, with a fine overlay of smug superiority. I always wish I had COL Jessup’s (Jack Nicholson) “you can’t handle the truth” speech cued up in my phone. Perhaps not the best comeback, but the snarl is good. From “A Few Good Men”:
 
I am baffled at people who don't know about the Service Academies and how selective they are. I truly don't understand. I like the "I was going to go..." line. Ha. Second only to "you're so lucky." No such thing as luck. Luck is where opportunity and preparation cross paths. Now my blood pressure is up....
 
From our small town and school he and we really do have great support. A strong Legion post has followed his journey and they are well versed on where and what he is doing.
The other random people—- goodness a lot of Americans need to come out from under rocks and pay some attention to those who enlist and serve their country and those who choose officer paths.
I get, “so when is he done with basic?”, “where will he be stationed next week?”, “wow, no college debt—-must be nice”,
“So you must have known someone to get in there”.
At the end of the day, a smile and a nod and a quiet “ahemmmm” goes a long way to me not getting on a soapbox.
Also wine. Wine helps me not school people.
 
At a family wedding several years ago...

Guest: So where does xxxxx want to go to college?

Me: Her first choice is the Naval Academy.

Guest: Oh yeah? I think I got accepted there [would've been about 25 years earlier]. I think I got a nomination.

Me, nodding politely but not actually saying it: Uh, If you did, you would know it!
 
MidCakePa said:
At a family wedding several years ago...

Guest: So where does xxxxx want to go to college?

Me: Her first choice is the Naval Academy.

Guest: Oh yeah? I think I got accepted there [would've been about 25 years earlier]. I think I got a nomination.

Me, nodding politely but not actually saying it: Uh, If you did, you would know it!
Click to expand...
...and often, so does everyone else’s 😂
 
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