When my oldest went off to college, I had a hard time realizing that I was no longer the one in charge. He was gone. I couldn't fix problems, celebrate successes or cook his favorite meal. Now, of course I didn't let on to him that I felt this way, but I felt that way all the same.
With my mid, he's my youngest and I have lived through having one son up and leave me for college
, so this was a tad easier.
My struggles are easier since he has adjusted well to the lifestyle. I also leave him little time to ***** and moan alot and construct my questions so that he has time to brag, boast and tell funny stories. He gets his whining in and I listen, but the moaning has all been regular stuff and nothing serious. I also try to only communicate via phone on Sunday when he will have some down time.
I fill my time with baking cookies and shopping for things he needs. I send a care package every 2 weeks and find the planning for the next care package helps me get through this time without him.
He is growing up and becoming much more responsible. Even though he has lived in 5 countries and traveled the world, I was still most impressed that he planned his journey to Colorado Springs this weekend for the game, and only made a phone call to me for quick advice on how to purchase the ticket online. He has joined way too many clubs in my opinion, but that is how he will meet people and he will have to figure out his own time management.
My advice to you Blackhawk Mom is to realize that you cannot be
there for him, but you can be
home for him when needed. Iniate communication less often, maybe just once a week. And give him the chance to reach out to you. DS's whining about teachers, classes eased after a week or so and now he's in a groove. As hard as it is, we must let them figure this out. I'm not saying to cease communicate with your son, but make it more of a routine and no more than once a week. (i'm being presumptuous here and assuming the phone calls are more often. My apologies if I am misreading the situation)
I am in full Thanksgiving and Christmas planning mode, cleaning his room (I have not touched that disaster until this weekend!), planning favorite meals, etc. I decided that the best thing I can do is make his time off as stress free as possible. He will have a few chores but the main focus is to enjoy the family together.
Be there for him as a support, not as a crutch and he will succeed.
-Singaporemom