The Ultimate Sacrifice

[ProudUSNAParent20]

Hello,

Long-time lurker here, finally caved in and made an account. To preface this, let me say that I'm the proud parent of 2/c DS at USNA. I just want to make something clear to a lot of young applicants/people with appointments deciding on whether or not to accept:

We often only focus on the glamorous and "exciting" parts of USNA/a service academy (e.g. a free education, leadership training, etc..). However, based on my experience with my DS and my prior military experience, I wanted to shed some light on some things that I think anyone considering going to USNA should consider seriously:

You have to remember that there is a chance that you could give your life for this country. There is a sad and devastating reminder of this in Memorial Hall, with the names of all USNA alumni killed while defending their country. I know that many on this forum don't like to talk about death, but I think that if you are set on applying, you should have heart-to-heart with yourself/your parents about being okay with sacrificing your life for your country.

As my DS is approaching entering the fleet, this has become increasingly more relevant, and I can tell that he thinks about this often.

Don't want to rain on anybody's parade. Just thought I'd remind people that, when people say that USNA is not college, it's not college in not only the typical sense (more rules, etc..), but also in the fact that you will be put into harm's way after graduation, and could lose your life.

 

[usnahopeful09]

Thanks for this! Very relevant as I'm deciding between USNA and a great offer at a civilian school (where I can still do ROTC, but there's more "freedom" per se, especially if I'm on college program and can stop before 2/c year)

 

[kinnem]

Thanks for this! Very relevant as I'm deciding between USNA and a great offer at a civilian school (where I can still do ROTC, but there's more "freedom" per se, especially if I'm on college program and can stop before 2/c year)

Well you can do the same at an academy. You don't really commit until the end of your sophomore year just sayin'. You should put yourself where you'll thrive.

 

[MMA19kid]

You have to remember that there is a chance that you could give your life for this country. There is a sad and devastating reminder of this in Memorial Hall, with the names of all USNA alumni killed while defending their country. I know that many on this forum don't like to talk about death, but I think that if you are set on applying, you should have heart-to-heart with yourself/your parents about being okay with sacrificing your life for your country.

As my DS is approaching entering the fleet, this has become increasingly more relevant, and I can tell that he thinks about this often.

Don't want to rain on anybody's parade. Just thought I'd remind people that, when people say that USNA is not college, it's not college in not only the typical sense (more rules, etc..), but also in the fact that you will be put into harm's way after graduation, and could lose your life.

There's a chance you could get hit by a bus crossing the street or stabbed in the street here in America, or, you could just have a car accident. I think I was a lot safer on the DDG I was on than in my neighborhood, all things considered.

 

[uncblue94]

My DS began thinking about this after those two collisions last year. He gave it some serious thought and still chose to proceed with his application. I'm glad he considered the situation with seriousness, but I'm also proud that he continued forward.

 

[usna1985]

One of the great things about being young is that the concept of death is usually more intellectual than real. When you're 18, intellectually, you know you will die some day. But most young people don't really believe it. It's what makes young people willing -- and even eager -- to do things that we older folks would never consider doing.

So, ProudParent, you're absolutely correct in terms of what they're signing up for. But, as others have said, the military is pretty safe right now across the board and I'm not sure that young people can really internalize death as something that might really happen to them in the short term -- no matter how hard they try. JMHO.

 

[AF6872]

The young have always thought themselves immortal.

 

[kinnem]

The young have always thought themselves immortal.

Thank goodness I'm young at heart!

 

[VelveteenR]

There's a chance you could get hit by a bus crossing the street or stabbed in the street here in America, or, you could just have a car accident.

Our service men and women assume the risk of losing their lives in service of their country in addition to the everyday risks everyone is subject to.

I posted this here on the day our son accepted his appointment to USMA three years ago. It's still relevant:

I am terrified of the potential for the ultimate sacrifice. This past October, one of our son’s closest friends was killed in a jeep roll-over accident on the way back from a weekend camping trip. He was not wearing his seat belt; everyone else in the jeep walked away without serious injury. This boy’s death hit us all very hard. Over winter break, our son told me that he wanted to say a few things about my concern that he might make the ultimate sacrifice. He started off by saying, “Mom, if you’re ever standing before my flag-draped casket <mom-tears started here>, I want you to know that it’s OK to cry, it’s OK to grieve, but I want you to know that I won’t consider my death meaningless.” He went on to say, “You can have the comfort that I willingly chose this path fully understanding this potential consequence, and I’m OK with it. No matter how I died, I died pursuing a cause I believe in, and that can never be meaningless.” He said a few other things, then he hugged me for a long time and said, “This hug is for that time if it ever comes. Remember this. I will be hugging you then in spirit and always, and I hope you will remember my words and not grieve in an empty way.” He was deeply affected by the “meaninglessness” of his friend’s death from not wearing his seatbelt and tried to reassure me that I should not fear whatever he may face. We held him close over the holiday, emotionally and physically.

Of course the safety stats are in his favor, but USMA lost two cadets (cadets mind you, not commissioned officers) his Plebe year, one drowned when a military vehicle got stuck in a wash after a storm during a training exercise at Ft. Hood and one drowned attempting to save the life of a stranger over one of the breaks. The type of men and women who assume this additional risk understand what they have signed up for, but no sugar-coating it; the hazard is real and must be considered. Our son does not live in fear of this potential requirement, but he soberly and very intently considered it during his college decision-making process. I am no longer terrified for him, but I do hug him a little longer every chance I get.

Thanks for this thread, @ProudUSNAParent20. It should force all candidates to confront this glaring difference between civilian and military life, and should not be brushed aside as an inconsequential. It is not.

 

[Old Navy BGO]

Outstanding post, and a somber reminder of what we do. No trip to USNA is complete without a visit to Memorial Hall... there are too many names I recognize, include Classmates, squadron mate (9/11) , and Upperclass. I think USNA1985 hit it on the head; when you are young, you don't dwell on the risks and prospects of death. Even in peacetime, what we do can be dangerous, but there has to be a sense in trust in your training , the people around you, and your equipment. President Reagan won the hearts and minds of all the families present at our (1985) graduation speech, when he pledged to do everything he could to ensure that we had the tools and equipment necessary to do our job and get home safely.

 

[AF6872]

I walked the Vietnam Memorial with my DD when she was four. She made traces of name on paper of my friends always immortalized there . Everyone stopped while she was on my shoulders. Now CPT USMC. Memorial Hall is a great place to visit. Gives you some perspective.

 

[New@This]

I walked the Vietnam Memorial with my DD when she was four. She made traces of name on paper of my friends always immortalized there . Everyone stopped while she was on my shoulders. Now CPT USMC. Memorial Hall is a great place to visit. Gives you some perspective.

I will never forget watching a man rubbing his hand high on the wall over an entire section of names. Through tears he told his (I assume) children, "these guys here, these are all my guys." There can be much emotion surrounding the Vietnam Memorial but this was at a level never witnessed before.

 

[MMA19kid]

one drowned attempting to save the life of a stranger over one of the breaks.

That guy's death wasn't at all related to being in the Army. He died trying to be a hero at Jones Beach on Long Island, I guess they didn't teach him at West Point how to properly analyze a situation and ensure that the chances of saving the person are better than the chances of adding yourself as a casualty.

 

[THParent]

That guy's death wasn't at all related to being in the Army. He died trying to be a hero at Jones Beach on Long Island, I guess they didn't teach him at West Point how to properly analyze a situation and ensure that the chances of saving the person are better than the chances of adding yourself as a casualty.

...And to think that my wife refers to me as a "Vulcan".
Wow.

 

[Capri120]

For many cadets at any of the SAs, I think the sense of mortality begins to become more real.

For DD, at the end of Christmas break her first semester, she lost a classmate (and his father) in a flying accident. The memorial service and funeral were held at USAFA early January once the cadets returned from break; the father was a grad. I believe we had a thread about this at that time.

Then, a couple of weeks before the 2017 graduation, a firstie died in a parachute accident not related to the military or academy. Also believe this is in an older thread. DD knew this young man and talked with him several times. She mentioned how his eyes would light up any time he talked about jumping.

As she and many others have said, both died doing what they wanted to do and loved. Little solace for some. But something as parents we must learn to accept.

 

[cb7893]

one drowned attempting to save the life of a stranger over one of the breaks.

That guy's death wasn't at all related to being in the Army. He died trying to be a hero at Jones Beach on Long Island, I guess they didn't teach him at West Point how to properly analyze a situation and ensure that the chances of saving the person are better than the chances of adding yourself as a casualty.

I'm trying to visualize a WP cadet standing on the sidewalk with a calculator figuring the likelihood of success pushing a baby stroller out of the way of a bus and saving his own a$$.

Or the guys on United flight 93

Or the guys who overpowered the terrorist on the train in Belgium

Or this guy:

 

[NavyHoops]

It’s natural for a young man or woman to feel invincible. It’s part of being 17-19 and being on top of the world right now. Yes this career choice has its dangers. And its not always the combat. I have lost more friends in training accidents than I have in war. And my class has served a ton in war. The ultimate sacrifice has not only hit close to home, but hit me square in the face. I am lucky I have walked away physically healthy. Many of my friends and Marines have not. I attended 25 funerals before the age of 30 for friends, Marines, classmates, and fellow shipmates from USNA. That number is even higher now. I served as a casualty officer for two Marines. The walk to the door and the look on the faces of those who answered are engrained in my memory like nothing else. Making tough decisions in combat that could result in injury or loss... that is hard. All those things grind way more than anything else. Every time I hear of a plane or helo or service loss I always pause. When its someone in a Navy or Marine uniform I wonder if I know them or its a friend or classmate and anxiously await for the press release or my buddies to give me the info. My visits to Arlington, Memorial Hall and the USNA cemetery are always musts when I visit the area.

It’s not the prospect of death for me that ever bothered me, its the responsibility and decisions that someone could face that someone embarking on this path need to realize. It is dangerous, but so are many other professions. All of know it could happen on the drive to work or some other benign activity. Just understand that this profession is wonderful, but there are some tough parts too.

 

[Capri120]

one drowned attempting to save the life of a stranger over one of the breaks.

That guy's death wasn't at all related to being in the Army. He died trying to be a hero at Jones Beach on Long Island, I guess they didn't teach him at West Point how to properly analyze a situation and ensure that the chances of saving the person are better than the chances of adding yourself as a casualty.

I'm trying to visualize a WP cadet standing on the sidewalk with a calculator figuring the likelihood of success pushing a baby stroller out of the way of a bus and saving his own a$$.

Or the guys on United flight 93

Or the guys who overpowered the terrorist on the train in Belgium

Or this guy:

View attachment 1445

It's called "service before self".
I would venture to say that most of our cadets, mids, etc. take this to heart in a big way. They think of others before themselves, even in a life-threatening situation. Yes, some may die trying to help another. But, they did so knowing they tried.
I thought this article from USAFA goes well in this discussion. Luckily, no death involved...this time.
https://www.usafa.edu/news/72-hours-cadet-saves-suicidal-man-assists-finding-crashed-plane/

 

[VelveteenR]

That guy's death wasn't at all related to being in the Army. He died trying to be a hero

My point was not that this instance was caused by choosing to serve in the Army but as an example of the type of person who is willing to assume the additional risk of service over self. This cadet died in service to his fellow man. He assumed a risk and lost, but I doubt the family of the life he saved questions his training or his analytical skills.

 

[OtB]

When its someone in a Navy or Marine uniform I wonder if I know them or its a friend or classmate and anxiously await for the press release or my buddies to give me the info. My visits to Arlington, Memorial Hall and the USNA cemetery are always musts when I visit the area.

When you see loose change in these places, you know I’ve been there to “pay” my respect.

Fair Winds and Following Seas