Worried DS is giving up on Academy dream to jump at NROTC Scholarship

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uncblue94

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We're not a military family, so know very little about all these things. DS has dreamed of USNA since he was tiny--we're still CPR, so dream is not dead. But now he's received an NROTC scholarship and admission at Yale. Clearly, Yale is an incredible option, and he's so excited that he's certain he'll be at Yale next year. He's not saying this, but I suspect he has given up on an appointment to the Academy. However, I'm afraid that if he receives one, he might still choose Yale. We hate to see him give up on a dream, and wonder if there will be any negative to his Naval career if he commissions out of NROTC vs. USNA?
 
uncblue94 said:
We're not a military family, so know very little about all these things. DS has dreamed of USNA since he was tiny--we're still CPR, so dream is not dead. But now he's received an NROTC scholarship and admission at Yale. Clearly, Yale is an incredible option, and he's so excited that he's certain he'll be at Yale next year. He's not saying this, but I suspect he has given up on an appointment to the Academy. However, I'm afraid that if he receives one, he might still choose Yale. We hate to see him give up on a dream, and wonder if there will be any negative to his Naval career if he commissions out of NROTC vs. USNA?
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Congrats to DS! We're in the same boat. (See what I did there?) Except, if the appointment comes through, it'll be gladly accepted. I don't think the source of commission makes much difference in promotions. Could it? Maybe. But there are too many other factors in promotions to know. Essentially, it's the same game as trying to get into the SA; be the best you can be, and make sure that your raters reflect it in your record. There's nobody who cares more for your career than you do. There's plenty of O-6 and Flag O's that are NROTC. Good luck! We should be finding out imminently!
 
Agree with Maplerock. If your DS wants to be a Naval officer and this is the path your DS is most comfortable with, that is the path he should take - and it is a great opportunity.

USNA is a great opportunity as well, but not the best fit for everyone. I have a DD at USNA and DS on NROTC MO scholarship at a SMC, so they compare their lives on the few occasions they are home together. Both say that there are things they love and hate about where they are but wouldn't want to be in the other's situation.

There are pros and cons to both paths and what is right for one person may not be true for another. NROTC will get him to the same destination and once he commissions it won't matter where he came from. It will be his performance that matters.
 
I have read and spoken with young folks who have gone each route. Each option has its own advantages and disadvantages. One young man I know was disappointed not to get an academy appointment but went with AFROTC at Rutgers - he has finished, commissioned, and is now on active duty training as a pilot. He loves how his path turned out for him; had great experiences as a traditional college student and much more freedom than he would have had at the academy. My own DD knew that the highly structured routines, rigidity, and lack of freedom at the academies would not have been suitable for her at all - she is happy at a college of her choice participating in Army ROTC.

Every student is different and has to try to assess where they think they would fit best and thrive. I hope he can have overnight visits at both and talk with as many students as possible if it turns out that he gets to make a choice between Yale and USNA. In my opinion, your son is throwing nothing away be choosing to attend Yale!
 
Performance, performance, performance is the key to a successful career. Commissioning source matters little in that area. I never knew where my JO’s were commissioned unless they told me or they wore their ring.
 
One thing I realize and channel is MY (or counselor, or teacher, or friend group, or....) wishes vs HIS. I opine when he asks. And I offer advice when I believe his line of thinking needs a seasoned, mature approach he simply cannot have bc of his age (ie: my DS was leaning at one time to our local NROTC bc of a 2yr gf relationship...that requires some guidance from my mature, seasoned experience). I do not envy any of these young people who have to make these difficult and very different decisions! I never had these opportunities.

I tell my kiddos “it’s not a problem until it’s a problem”. In your situation, it’s not a problem yet. Accepting his NROTC scholarship (CONGRATS, btw!!) has no bearing on the outcome of USNA appointment. Accepting NROTC doesn’t mean he has given up on USNA. I would suspect it’s a HUGE relief to him to have that option!!!! And that will do wonders to ease the disappointment of not receiving appointment should that occur. You and he are truly blessed.

Lots and lots of discussion about ROTC vs USNA commissioning, and all I have read says NO difference. Fantastic for your son to have such an amazing opportunity. Sometimes it just takes a while to process a different path in life than what we have planned for. I suspect with time perhaps Yale will be the new dream, should that be the route taken.
 
Absolutely no difference in which path you choose to commission. Academy grads may have a leg up in some areas the first couple years, but NROTC grads will be better in other ways. In any case, in the early years anyway, promotion is more of a time-in-service thing... at least thru Lt jg. or 1st Lt. Some folks thrive in one environment and some in another. What's important is thriving where you attend college. Also college is 4 years. Navy Active Duty is 5 or more. And when you do leave there is life after that. Either institution would put him on the right life path.
 
I hope this doesn't come off as condescending.... Is the USNA his dream, or your dream? Either way, he has an excellent plan B. Congrats.
 
Sometimes kids' plans/dreams change as they are exposed tonew things they've never dreamed of. Perhaps Yale never entered his realm of dreams until he actually got accepted. That's a great opportunity he has and as mentioned by people above, it won't impact a Naval career. He should think too about if he wants a regular college life/social experience or the Academy style. They are two different experiences. My oldest was all for the Air Force Academy - we live near it, we've sponsored cadets, saw Obama speak at a graudation, go to Mass at the Community Chapel, etc. But after we did a college tour (including Yale) and it came time to apply, he decided that he'd rather have ROTC and a typical college experience.
Congrat sto your son - and Yale is a cool place, it was my favorite college that I've visited with any of my kids.
 
DanGir said:
I hope this doesn't come off as condescending.... Is the USNA his dream, or your dream? Either way, he has an excellent plan B. Congrats.
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This is a good point. When my DD told me she had decided that she didn't want to go to an Academy and wanted to do ROTC, I admit that I was disappointed. I kept questioning if she was really sure? She emphatically said she was sure of her decision. I felt she was giving up a wonderful opportunity. Fast forward 4 years, she will be commissioning into the Navy in 6 weeks. She has loved her college experience and NROTC. I asked her if she has any regrets of not going to the Academy and she does not.
 
Rather than focusing on any potential, impossible to predict, impact on a down the road career, your son should be focusing on what he wants for the next four years. When my son was fortunate enough to have the choice between SAs and NROTC/AROTC at Ivies, my only input on the ultimate choice was that I was incredibly proud of how hard he had worked to get to that point and he could not go wrong with whatever choice he made.
 
Before my daughter received her notification of appointment, we did a visit at her plan B school and spent time with the ROTC folks there. I was super impressed with them. While she was doing her interview with the PMS, the ROO answered all my questions. I wanted her to get an appointment because it was what she wanted, but I would have been really happy if she had chosen ROTC. I think your son has an incredible opportunity to go to a great school and commission when he graduates.
 
kinnem said:
Absolutely no difference in which path you choose to commission. Academy grads may have a leg up in some areas the first couple years, but NROTC grads will be better in other ways. In any case, in the early years anyway, promotion is more of a time-in-service thing... at least thru Lt jg. or 1st Lt. Some folks thrive in one environment and some in another. What's important is thriving where you attend college. Also college is 4 years. Navy Active Duty is 5 or more. And when you do leave there is life after that. Either institution would put him on the right life path.
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I agree with everything above except the leg up part.
When I got to P-cola I thought the Academy folks would have a leg up. A large number of them were making up for lost party time. The didn't have to manage work/life balance at the Academy. I was really surprised how much a lot of them went out. I have spent a lot of time in P-cola over the last few months, nothing has changed.
College is a right of passage. Can you leave your folks and finish something on your own? Attending an Academy is only a half step. You still have "parents."
Don't go to class? You will be standing tall. Failing a class and you will be forced into study hours. Going out for night drinking with your buddies or studying for an exam is not something you face at the Academy until your senior year and even then it's a weekend choice not Tuesday night.

I have always said, if you had to push your child to perform, an Academy is a great transition. If your child is self motivated, let them take the next step to maturity in a normal college environment.

A chance to go to HYPSM? wow. Very tough to turn down.

Make sure they attend Bulldog days. See the school, hang out with the MIDs. To me it won't be a tough choice.
OS
 
Oldsalt said:
The didn't have to manage work/life balance at the Academy
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I agree with OS.

I was pretty worried about my DS choosing a "normal" university and not having an Academy or SMC regimentation over his head to keep him on task. Lo and behold, my DS surprised me at balancing AROTC, academics and two part time jobs over the last three years.

I am confident that when he commissions next year, he will have refined the work/life balance skills pretty darn well. This has worked out well for him, for the next cadet or mid, it might not?

EVERY kid is different!
 
Oldsalt said:
kinnem said:
Absolutely no difference in which path you choose to commission. Academy grads may have a leg up in some areas the first couple years, but NROTC grads will be better in other ways. In any case, in the early years anyway, promotion is more of a time-in-service thing... at least thru Lt jg. or 1st Lt. Some folks thrive in one environment and some in another. What's important is thriving where you attend college. Also college is 4 years. Navy Active Duty is 5 or more. And when you do leave there is life after that. Either institution would put him on the right life path.
Click to expand...

I agree with everything above except the leg up part.
When I got to P-cola I thought the Academy folks would have a leg up. A large number of them were making up for lost party time. The didn't have to manage work/life balance at the Academy. I was really surprised how much a lot of them went out. I have spent a lot of time in P-cola over the last few months, nothing has changed.
College is a right of passage. Can you leave your folks and finish something on your own? Attending an Academy is only a half step. You still have "parents."
Don't go to class? You will be standing tall. Failing a class and you will be forced into study hours. Going out for night drinking with your buddies or studying for an exam is not something you face at the Academy until your senior year and even then it's a weekend choice not Tuesday night.

I have always said, if you had to push your child to perform, an Academy is a great transition. If your child is self motivated, let them take the next step to maturity in a normal college environment.

A chance to go to HYPSM? wow. Very tough to turn down.

Make sure they attend Bulldog days. See the school, hang out with the MIDs. To me it won't be a tough choice.
OS
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That is excellent advice, particularly about attending a HYPSM and about maturing. I've seen the latter in my son. He has to balance studying, finding time and places to eat (e.g., lunches aren't part of his meal plan, now he is in a dorm with a kitchen and next year will be in an aprtment so he has to buy groceries and learn to cook, etc.), know when to say yes to a beer with non-ROTC buddies vs. studying, having to pay rent - the list goes on.
 
As a former enlisted guy from the Navy, watching all 3 of my children go through this process and having had / have the chance to work with officers every day from every commissioning source I would agree 100% w/ Captain MJ & Kinnem.

Quite frankly yea you get some “training” to become an officer but you become an officer when you get salty. Just because you put a butter bar on out of USNA, Yale, or wherever you still need the wisdom of the salt. This is slightly different for stay 21 or LDO’s as they have been salted.
 
Can't go wrong either way, but Yale will open up worlds and forge valuable relationships that will serve him well beyond the military.

At Yale your son will meet and learn from some of the best minds operating in a wide variety of disciplines and cultural pursuits, and his classmates will include many of the nation's future political, business and cultural leaders. It's really an extraordinary opportunity that retains all of the upside for his intended Naval career.
 
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