I was a "bully" as a cadre. Some of my friends were surprised, as I was a nice guy. Why was I bullying my new cadets? I wanted them to be prepare for the academic year? During the basic training, it was like 10 to 1 ratio of new cadets to cadre, but once the academic year started the ratio flips to 1 to 3. I could have been my usual nice person, but I wanted to make sure my new cadets to experience "bullying" for the first time after basic training. As Christcorp said, was it a bullying or training. The acts are the same, but different intention .
I could list at least 20 things that I saw and/or went through in basic and my early years, that some here would definitely consider it bullying. I don't. I didn't then, and I don't now. But that's the difference in perception.
I think there is a miscommunication going on here. Perhaps I should have used the word hazing instead of bullying. It seems people are getting caught up on the word bulling, instead of the overall message. I was talking about when the training crosses the line from acceptable, to something unhealthy and wrong.
Years ago, when my kids first started to become very competitive in sports, I read a number of articles on coaching and player development. What is and isn't effective? What is and isn't healthy? When does it go from pushing to hazing?
One of the primary topics was at what point does it go from constructive to destructive?
How to break down the barriers without destroying the potential?
How to best develop individual competitiveness and excellence but yet ensure team allegiance and awareness. (Putting team before self)
All agreed that
1) both physical and mental limits needed to be pushed and challenged
2) it is easier to determine when the physical line is crossed due to excessive or constant injuries
3) it is difficult to determine the mental line
4) the mental line can vary far more between individuals than the physical line
5) punishments and rewards are both necessary for development
6) punishments and rewards need to be balanced (by reward they don't mean a trophy for participation, but acknowledgement of surpassing or achieving a difficult task)
7) the damage from "mental line crossing" can be far greater and longer lasting than that from "physical line crossing"
I believe these principles/ideas for developing excellence apply to an athlete as well as a soldier.
So when I was talk about bullying, I am not talking about "run of the mill, going to kick your rear and make you respect me" training. I am talking about when it becomes hazing. When it is unhealthy, and is designed to break someone instead of break down someone's barriers. If you destroy the foundation, you no longer have a place to build. If you remove the extraneous and clear down to the foundation, then you can strengthen the foundation and build stronger and better than before.
I think we have all agreed that targeted and willful hazing can happen and has happened, and that it is not common in this day and age. I don't think we can agree on when exactly "training" crosses the line, but I think we all agree that there is a line out there. I also think we can agree that over time, training methods have changed, some for the better and maybe some for the worse.
Because I see this coming. By break someone, I don't mean causing someone to cry because they miss their family and home. I also don't mean making them come face to face with their weaknesses and doubts. I don't mean making them realize that the team or mission is more important than the individual. I also don't mean pushing them till they want to give up to see if they can push past the exhaustion, dig deep and keep on going despite the adversity.
I realize they all "break" at some point. But in that case "break" means to reach the lowest point (the foundation) and then start strengthening and rebuilding.
But when you break to the point where the person is destroyed, then there is no way to rebuild.