WP Personal Life

Thinking

5-Year Member
Joined
May 24, 2010
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2
Maybe this is a dumb question, but im seriously considering WP, and this topic resides heavily on my mind. Are relationships common between the cadets, or do the men typically go outside of the school for girlfriends? Also, are the women at WP considered lesser-than/ less desirable? Any advice/story you may offer is of great appreciation, as this is kind of a deal breaker for me. God Bless!
 
If this is a "deal breaker" for you, I would seriously reconsider the reasons why you want to attend a service academy. There are some callings that are greater that hooking up in college.
 
i think it is unfair to criticize the poster for the question. yes an academy is more than hooking up, no questions there. but it is normal for a young person at this age to want some sort of relationship- this is a crucial time in our lives. also, with the military commitment after the academy, people's relationships and family lives are severely impacted. to deny that this is a factor in decision making would be to deny reality.

give the poster the facts and situations, and allow them to decide what is right for them.

in my case, i know that the military does not allow me to have the sort of family life that i hope to have in my 20's (children, etc). it also doesn't allow me to be as feminine or as much of a "woman" as i would like to be on a daily basis. this is not a citicism of the military, it is how it should be. but it is still the reality of military life. for these reasons i had to make some of the toughest decisions of my life in turning down USMA, USAFA, and 4 year full tuition AROTC and NROTC scholarships to Notre Dame. the academy had been my dream since middle school. but i had to look at the "bigger picture". that does not mean that my desire to serve my country was not, and does not remain sincere
 
Many, many cadets have relationships with other cadets while at USMA. The chapels are very busy graduation weekend! Some cadets steer clear of dating other cadets, as it can get very complicated very quickly. My son has stated that he would never date another cadet, as he plans to be the only officer in his future marriage. He does not want to worry about dual deployments and being posted away from each other. Not all feel as he does, obviously. Your question would be a good one to ask cadets at a WP visit.
 
I find this question to be a very good one. Relationships are important at any age but for the young adult.....its hardwired socially, emotionally and physically. As the mother of a daughter heading to WP I have often wondered about these isuues. Will she marry into the military? Will she have opportunity to meet non-military? Will she postpone marriage and children because of her choices? Will she always be miles away from her dear beloved mother?:wink: I think about her longterm future constantly in regards to these issues. Ultimately, it was her decision and I believe any female (or male for that fact) should carefully consider the future ramifications on relationships and family. It will have bearing.
 
are the women at WP considered lesser-than/ less desirable?
Be honest. explain what you mean by this.

The women at West Point are as varied as the males - although there are probably more female athletes than male athletes. Some are tom boys, some are "girlie". Some will date a cadet and some will not. They are very much like other college aged women.

Cadets do date but there are rules. Plebes can only date plebes. Female plebes especially need to remember this because some upper class males will prey on the plebes. Upper class males who chase after plebes do this because they can't get an upper class female to date them. I think in military school both males and females learn to look at each other as cadets - not just members of the opposite sex.
Female cadets tend to grow platonic relationships with male cadets more at the academies than at a civilian college.

Male cadets find girls off post to date - there are colleges in the area (Vassar, Marist and Columbia), they meet their friends sisters etc.
 
As parents of a candidate (leaving shorting for the beast experience) we've been at the Academy quite a few times the past few months and it is our opinion that the males and females reflect a cross-section of young men and women. Some are cute, some are drop-dead gorgeous and the balance look like the rest of us.

The most striking element we've experienced is how very, very cordial, warm and responsive to us. Even a small smile in greeting when approaching someone on the sidewalk elicits a "Good morning!" rather than the downturned eyes as experienced on some other campuses we visited.
 
I would say that being a cadet and being in the military would actually help your chances of getting a relationship rather than hinder it. Or so I've been told :rolleyes:
 
Thanks for the replies guys, and as to the question about what i meant regaurding "less desirable" women, i read somewhere that the guys look down upon the female cadets and more of a plan z when it came to a serious relationship.
 
Thanks for the replies guys, and as to the question about what i meant regaurding "less desirable" women, i read somewhere that the guys look down upon the female cadets and more of a plan z when it came to a serious relationship.

Yes, most of us knew that that is what you meant. There are a good many male cadets who feel that way. Many don't feel that way. It's an individual viewpoint.

Ultimately, I found that if a guy really liked a girl, his real friends supported him, and he didn't much care what anyone else thought.
 
Many, many cadets have relationships with other cadets while at USMA. The chapels are very busy graduation weekend! Some cadets steer clear of dating other cadets, as it can get very complicated very quickly. My son has stated that he would never date another cadet, as he plans to be the only officer in his future marriage. He does not want to worry about dual deployments and being posted away from each other. Not all feel as he does, obviously. Your question would be a good one to ask cadets at a WP visit.

I hear they call cadets that date one another 'Ca-Dating'.
 
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