Helicopter parents and you

Romad said:
He's listened so far (but then there was the case of the Mulberry tree, the trampoline, and...) :rolleyes:

Best!
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With ours it was the nail gun and the can of silicone spray.

We try to make our advice as general and therefore as applicable to as many possible boneheaded ideas as possible. The one piece that seems to prevented the greatest amount of widespread property damage and personal injury, is "If someone asks you at some future point why you did this, are you going to have a better answer than 'because it seemed like a good idea at the time'? If not, you need to not do it."
 
Roughrider said:
With ours it was the nail gun and the can of silicone spray.

We try to make our advice as general and therefore as applicable to as many possible boneheaded ideas as possible. The one piece that seems to prevented the greatest amount of widespread property damage and personal injury, is "If someone asks you at some future point why you did this, are you going to have a better answer than 'because it seemed like a good idea at the time'? If not, you need to not do it."
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Sound advice, Amen.

:biggrin:
 
Roughrider said:
With ours it was the nail gun and the can of silicone spray.
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But you do have to admit- a nail gun and an aerosol spray can does sound cool. I'll bet it popped with a pretty satisfying noise and recoil!:eek:

Sigh- it's no fun growing up at all- all the fun ideas turn out to be hazardous :rolleyes:
 
bruno said:
But you do have to admit- a nail gun and an aerosol spray can does sound cool. I'll bet it popped with a pretty satisfying noise and recoil!:eek:

Sigh- it's no fun growing up at all- all the fun ideas turn out to be hazardous :rolleyes:
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Actually had a friend back in HS try something very similar - only with an AMC Javelin and an early Bell helicopter engine ... It didn't end well. I think ol' Mark Ziegler still has that trench running down the top of his head... :yllol:

http://www.autotribute.com/310/video-man-builds-jet-powered-ford-f-150/

Best

:biggrin:
 
Damn; I don't think I'll ever grow up. I still take aerosol cans; usually spray paint or similar, and shoot them with pistols and rifles. :biggrin:
 
Christcorp said:
Damn; I don't think I'll ever grow up. I still take aerosol cans; usually spray paint or similar, and shoot them with pistols and rifles. :biggrin:
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But I bet you don't examine them up close and personal as you do so, to get a high velocity shot of silicone spray in both eyeballs. Bet you never put an entire live toad in your mouth, either. That child's mouth was clean full of toad. One of America's future leaders.
 
Roughrider said:
But I bet you don't examine them up close and personal as you do so, to get a high velocity shot of silicone spray in both eyeballs. Bet you never put an entire live toad in your mouth, either. That child's mouth was clean full of toad. One of America's future leaders.
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Reminds me of that scene in "Parenting" where Steve Martin's kid is struggling around with a bucket or something jammed on his head while one of his friends little girl is overachieving at something...

:yllol:
 
Jcleppe said:
You have got to be kidding me.

Not that I feel the need but here is a bit of explanation for you.

Yes, my son did forward a copy of his orders to us because we were listed as his transportation to the Airport so we needed to know his flight times.

Yes, son handled his own orders, we didn't know anything about them other then when he was reporting since we live close we also were listed as the party that would drop him off at Ft. Lewis since he would be at home the month before LDAC started.

Yes again, he had it "Straightened out before he left school, at that point the orders were correct.

Your right, you don't know about LDAC or AROTC or how the orders are cut from Cadet Command.

My son had his orders taken care of before he left school. Since we live close to Ft. Lewis, where LDAC is held, he made arrangements ahead of time for us to be able to pick him up so he could spend a night at home before he flew to Ft. Bragg. His orders had him flying out of Seattle the day after LDAC. A week after he had started LDAC the HR at his ROTC for some reason decided to change his orders to have him fly out of the airport next to his school which is a 5 hour drive from where we live. The HR somehow thought this was a good idea and thought they were doing him a favor. Since the HR knew we were picking him up and were now responsible for getting him to the Airport they sent us a copy of his revised flight orders so we knew where to take him, they also sent a copy to LDAC which he would not get until a couple days before graduation. The copy of the orders were addressed to us and had a letter included asking us if this was correct and acceptable, again because we were responsible to get him there. The HR asked us to call if there were any questions. Yes I called, I talked to her and explained that the original orders were correct and that we had planned to take him to the local Airport that was listed on the original orders. The HR apologized for her mistake, thanked us for getting back to her and clearing it up. She changed the flight orders that day back to the original orders.

Now call me what you want, if that's a helicopter parent then so be it.

I'm sure someone will call it hovering because we picked him up at LDAC to spend the night at home with his family. Of course there were a lot of hovering parents, wives and husbands doing the same thing that day so it must be an epidemic.

Next time have somewhat of a grasp of things before you make a snap judgement.

Since you now seem to have a firm handle on the workings of Army ROTC battalions, Cadet Command, and how the Army ROTC handle their orders I will make sure my son checks in with you the next time he has any questions.

Now everyone can go back to competing to see who is the best parent or just how much you did things on your own. Now I know the rules, don't talk to your kid more then once a month, don't ever try and advise them on anything. and for God's sake don't offer any help, because our parents Never helped us, at least not that we choose to remember.
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Great post.
I agree, I will help all my children til the day I can no longer breathe. It is ridiculous how some of people think. I helped my son with his application, I helped with phone calls, I helped with recruiting, I helped with scheduling flights home, and many other things. I helped so much, this "helicopter parent" raised a kid that is so dependent on me, that he has the 2nd highest rank in his squadron for the coming year.
 
I support your position, Devil Dog. Every family has its own dynamic: what works for one may not for another. Douglas MacArthur's mom moved into the West Point Hotel, and he came out fine. Lloyd Fredendall's mother moved in two years later, and he dropped out of West Point twice.

I do have a question for you, though. Have you been stewing over this for the last three months, or are you a slow reader like me?
 
EDelahanty said:
I support your position, Devil Dog. Every family has its own dynamic: what works for one may not for another. Douglas MacArthur's mom moved into the West Point Hotel, and he came out fine. Lloyd Fredendall's mother moved in two years later, and he dropped out of West Point twice.

I do have a question for you, though. Have you been stewing over this for the last three months, or are you a slow reader like me?
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I just stumbled on this thread yesterday. I have not been on the parent's board in a long time, probably since before my son entered USAFA two years ago. I am not quite sure how long it has been.
 
DevilDog said:
Great post.
I agree, I will help all my children til the day I can no longer breathe. It is ridiculous how some of people think. I helped my son with his application, I helped with phone calls, I helped with recruiting, I helped with scheduling flights home, and many other things. I helped so much, this "helicopter parent" raised a kid that is so dependent on me, that he has the 2nd highest rank in his squadron for the coming year.
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That's a lot of help. Did he do anything on his own? Did he want you to help that much?
 
DevilDog said:
I don't owe you an explanation. I am his father and fortunately I had the time to help.
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Didn't think you did owe me an explanation. If it's some deep dark secret, I wouldn't recommend commenting, or boasting about how involved you have been.

I haven't seen a cadet/midshipman or an officer ever brag about how involved his/her parents have been. I'm guessing there's a reason for that... just can't imagine what it is.
 
LineInTheSand said:
Didn't think you did owe me an explanation. If it's some deep dark secret, I wouldn't recommend commenting, or boasting about how involved you have been.

I haven't seen a cadet/midshipman or an officer ever brag about how involved his/her parents have been. I'm guessing there's a reason for that... just can't imagine what it is.
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An explanation of how I helped my own son with his college plans. I think there are many parents that do this all over the country yearly. I helped my other two with their college apps, recruiting visits, and the like. I guess my kids are needier than most kids, but it is interesting how they all are going to college with a scholarship.
It is nothing to brag about, but it is a fact of life. Parents are involved and help their children. Someday when you have children, I don't know if you do or if you will, you will understand.
 
I don't doubt my having a child going through the process would affect, in some way, how I see this. My current view was, at one point, as a son who applied/attended a college, and as a cadet who witness independent kids, kids with some parental involvement, and helicopter parents.
 
Helicopter parents

DS gets frustrated with bureaucracy at times at USAFA and AF in general.

When he complains, all we have to do is offer to get involved and he will jump on it and get it done himself.

Best way we've found to do any of this is not so much to BE a helicopter parent, but to THREATEN TO BE a helicopter parent.
 
dtkdarnoc said:
DS gets frustrated with bureaucracy at times at USAFA and AF in general.

When he complains, all we have to do is offer to get involved and he will jump on it and get it done himself.

Best way we've found to do any of this is not so much to BE a helicopter parent, but to THREATEN TO BE a helicopter parent.
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Now that is funny. :biggrin:
 
LITS and Devil I think you both have valid perspectives.

I get Devil's position because for our kids, they left for school at 6-6:30 a.m. and didn't come home until 9-10 pm.
~~ DS1 was a lifeguard that ran in the house and changed into his guard uniform, worked M,T,W,F, and Sat. 4 -9 yr round. Summer hrs 9-5 M-F
~~ DS2 played football. Summer camp (mandatory) was 6 a.m. to 4 pm. School yr his schedule until Nov; could be later if they made champions was 6:30 am to 6:30 pm M-T, F 6:30 a.m. to 10-11 pm.

There was no available time to contact anyone when it came to time sensitive issues unless, we as a parent called on their behalf.

I think that you are misconstruing why Devil did what they did for their children. Trust me, I did it too. I would come home and see a blinking light on the answering machine. I knew my child's schedule and I had no problem picking up the phone and saying to that person, This is Mrs. Bullet, DS will not be home until 10 pm tonight, can I assist, or can he email/voicemail you the response when he gets home?

Sometimes it was a simple answer that we could assist, and sometimes they needed to talk to the candidate personally...i.e. email, voicemail.

I am not dogging you, because I do agree to a point, I am just illustrating the reasons why some parents that assist should not be viewed as helicopter parents. You need to understand how competitive not only the SA's are, but college and scholarships too. EC's are a big factor in their resume, thus because of that they are not hanging out at home after school playing XBOX.

I do agree with LITS, if you come into save the day, you harm your child. I took that as his point.

dtkdarnoc said:
Best way we've found to do any of this is not so much to BE a helicopter parent, but to THREATEN TO BE a helicopter parent
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+1

DS actually would vent to Bullet and I, but he would always premise DON'T DO ANYTHING!
 
I think the problem, difference, confusion, misinterpretation, or whatever the heck you want to call it is:

People have a different definition between:

1. HELP
2. DO

If you "Help" your child with applications, research, information, filling out forms, learning laundry, learning finances, etc... Then you are a "GOOD PARENT".

If you "DO" the applications, research, information, filling out forms, DO their laundry, DO their taxes, etc... then you are a "HELICOPTER PARENT".

Now; some may not agree that "DOING" for you kid is a bad thing. That's ok. No one will be able to convince you differently. Doesn't matter if the child is 6 years old; 16 years old; or 19 years old at the academy. A "GOOD" parent "HELPS" their kids. A "HELICOPTER" parent "DOES IT FOR" their kids.
 
Military Academies are "no fly zones" for helicopter parents...unless you are an aviator and really can fly those babies.
 
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