hawk, you're preaching to the choir on the benefits of social media.
There difference between when you were a cadet and when I was a cadet is certainly there, but I think the difference between when I was a cadet and cadets now is even greater.
My parents traveled to Connecticut before my R-Day on July 1, 2002. We spent time with family in Connecticut. On R-Day they dropped me off and I saw them for about a minute or two before we were sent into Chase Hall. I wouldn't see them again until EAGLE pulled into Norfolk, VA. They have come up from Tennessee and I was able to hang out with them for a little while, while we were in port. I dazzled them with scary Swab Summer stories. I wouldn't see them again until Parents' Weekend.
At that point cell phones were common, but not like today. This was pre-smart phones. At the Coast Guard Academy we were only able to use our phones in designated areas (just outside of the mailroom and in phone booths in wing areas). So we couldn't use our cell phones in our rooms. Essentially our phones would charge until we needed to use them or until we got an emergency call from home. And because running around the P-ways as a 4/c cadet was especially unpleasant, we didn't make many phone calls.
Facebook and Twitter hadn't been invented at this point. We could use email, of course, or snail mail. After our 4/c year AOL Instant Messenger (AIM) was an option too. Typically AIM was used to talk to friends back home, or to communicate with other cadets.
At the Coast Guard Academy the Parents' Association was involved. It was there to allow parents to ask questions and it would provide information. There were list serves for classes so the parents could talk too. Parents made friends with other parents. It was nice. They felt like they had SOME idea of what was happening, even if it was infrequent, it was still more than the little bits and pieces they heard from their kids when they had a chance to make a call.
In all of this, there is one list serve admin or comms are person to person. I send an email to my dad, he sends an email back. The list serve admin sends an email to everyone on the list, they read it. Done.
If I had a problem and I needed to talk to my parents, I could. That conversation would stay between us, unless they wanted to talk to another parent. Cadets talked to cadets and parents talked to parents, and the overlap was a cadet talking to his/her parents.
That no longer exists. First, the very nature of social media removes that one-to-one private conversation. I don't doubt that the conversations HAVEN'T changed all that much in the last 50 years…. but the medium certainly has. It's not private. So, while one of my profanity filled calls to my parents in 2003, where I said how much I hated CGA and how dumb everything was, died then and there after I calmed down….. now, if a cadet writes something or a parent writes something on Facebook…. it echoes in eternity. There are many things I've exaggerated on the phone in the heat of the moment that would have sent parents on a witch hunt…. had they heard it…. but they didn't. Now….. it's "OH NO, MY KID CAN'T HAVE HIS MINI FRIDGE AND GOLF CLUBS IN HIS ROOM AT USAFA" or "OH NO, THE FOOD IS HORRIBLE AT USNA." Why? Because there's no cool-down and some parents are drama queens.
Next, there is no division between cadets and parents on social media. I hated some of my cadre. I did. And I'm guessing I mentioned some of the things they did to my parents. You can imagine, had my parents been helicopter parents, the wonderful opportunity Facebook could give them to confront my cadre. "How DARE you treat my little baby LITS like this!!!" There's no bottleneck to correct information before it's posted and spread throughout the Parent rumor mill world. It reminds me of videos of parents rushing a soccer field to push down a little kid that tripped their kids…. come on folks.
The Coast Guard Academy has changed so much since I graduated, and I didn't graduate all that long ago.
I think "things change, deal with it." is a wonderful piece of advice for parents. Your relationship with your child has changed. Deal with it. The amount of control you have over your child's life has changed. Deal with it. You no longer have "approval authority" in your child's daily life. Deal with it. The relationship you had with you child in the previous 18 years has changed forever. Deal with it. You are now an observer, a cheerleader and a source of support, but you're done driving this bus. Deal with it.
The helicopter parent is someone not prepared to hand over controls. But things change. Deal with it.