Roller coaster I: Get You (The Parents) Through Plebe Year - Class of ‘27 🎢

I feel heavy hearted for your DD and you. She is probably not alone in Tango Company. I’d also say that there are plebes, at this very moment, that are still struggling with military rates and stuff. If she could make it to Parent’s Weekend, she might see a glimpse of daylight. I enclose this article from Shipmate, the Alumni magazine, as a source of reflection and encouragement. Her decision will be major one in her very young life. Best hopes for her and the family.

Plebe Year.JPG
 
Update - sometime between the phone call on Sunday afternoon, and Monday morning PEP, DD reported back to her original company. No details on what changed her mind. She has been battling bronchitis for several weeks, and she’s normally miserable when sick, Maybe that played a role. But, her mom and I did a great job expressing our disappointment in her during the phone call. We told her:
- you’re already through the hardest part
- stick through the first semester at a minimum (her back up school would require her to reapply as a transfer for winter semester anyways) and re-evaluate
- she’d have to work if she came home, preferably at either Amazon or Wal Mart for a lesson in hard knocks
- all of her friends will be at school, while she’s home working. She’ll be miserable.
- told her lots of people delay going to college for many good reasons. A large number never go because life happens. Better to get started
- she’ll have to go to local state U and live at home unless she takes out loans (this was her plan C anyways)
- her brother will call her Navy dropout for the rest of their lives
 
BlueHen2005 said:
Update - sometime between the phone call on Sunday afternoon, and Monday morning PEP, DD reported back to her original company. No details on what changed her mind. She has been battling bronchitis for several weeks, and she’s normally miserable when sick, Maybe that played a role. But, her mom and I did a great job expressing our disappointment in her during the phone call. We told her:
- you’re already through the hardest part
- stick through the first semester at a minimum (her back up school would require her to reapply as a transfer for winter semester anyways) and re-evaluate
- she’d have to work if she came home, preferably at either Amazon or Wal Mart for a lesson in hard knocks
- all of her friends will be at school, while she’s home working. She’ll be miserable.
- told her lots of people delay going to college for many good reasons. A large number never go because life happens. Better to get started
- she’ll have to go to local state U and live at home unless she takes out loans (this was her plan C anyways)
- her brother will call her Navy dropout for the rest of their lives
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I am happy to read this!!! I have been thinking about your daughter and hoping that she made it back to her company!! it is hard to be sick during PS - my daughter (2C) is there right now and said that everyone is sick! Covid is flying around everywhere and tons of plebes and some detailers are in SIQ. she does not feel great either and is hoping it passes fast bc she has a submarine cruise next week. I am sure your phone call helped her get back to her company!! keep us posted!!!
 
I empathize with any parent who hears that their plebe may be considering dropping on request. Honestly.

This line stood out to me: “her mom and I did a great job expressing our disappointment in her during the phone call.”

Maybe I’m a jerk for thinking and expressing it but I’m going to say it anyway.

I read it this way. We are so proud of the hard choices you made, and the hard path you took to get to this really difficult experience, that is unlike any of your classmates from your childhood. We are disappointed you aren’t experiencing it the way you thought you would. We are hopeful you will consider sticking it out until at the very least PPW. We are proud of you and know that this is not easy for anyone, and plenty would want to run away. We haven’t walked in your shoes. No Google search or You Tube video can prepare a plebe for this experience in real time over time. We encourage you to remember your why and stick it out until plebe summer is over and you experience the academic year. Leaving will mean having a plan and a course of action moving forward.

OP you have always expressed pride in your kiddo and that is clearly still true. It’s so hard to be proud and also have to be the hard a$$ parent when things go south.

I’m glad she has found a way to return to her chosen journey, and possibly found her ‘why’ again.
 
It's not supposed to be easy, and not everyone makes it through. For parents that get "that call" saying that they are thinking of dropping, please support and encourage..I know a lot of people who left and went on to very successful (and perhaps happier) lives. Of course, its fine to push your DS/DD to think long an hard about the decision. It's easy to feel down, especially when sick physically. The USNA staff is pretty good about sorting out the ones that really want to leave from those that are just facing temporary setbacks....


THParent said:
I sent my DS a tube of this over Plebe Summer, knowing full well that he had a female Detailer who watched him unpack his care package
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On a lighter note, I think it was on SAF that I read of a bunch of guys sending their buddy undergoing Plebe summer a care package covered with BEAT NAVY stickers. Back in the day it was perfume scented letters that were a good way to cause the detailers to give a Plebe some extra attention.
 
Old Navy BGO said:
It's not supposed to be easy, and not everyone makes it through. For parents that get "that call" saying that they are thinking of dropping, please support and encourage..I know a lot of people who left and went on to very successful (and perhaps happier) lives.
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My company has made a concerted effort to contact companymates who started with us and did not finish and the ones who we've successfully contacted seem to have done pretty well. We've had several attend major reunions at USNA and another joins us at our Army/Navy tailgaters.
 
Roller coaster is such an appropriate title for what we are experiencing.

The letters we've been receiving have been a complete up and down read: I can't sleep. Detailer was chill today. Did I make a mistake? I want to reenact the Great Escape. What if I hate my (future) job? Today was a good day. I want this to be over. I got to play my sport today, I still got it. :)

My head is spinning.
 
Sealion II said:
Roller coaster is such an appropriate title for what we are experiencing.

The letters we've been receiving have been a complete up and down read: I can't sleep. Detailer was chill today. Did I make a mistake? I want to reenact the Great Escape. What if I hate my (future) job? Today was a good day. I want this to be over. I got to play my sport today, I still got it. :)

My head is spinning.
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Ah - Whiplash Parent Syndrome. Right on time. You are now entitled to mumble “mmm…hmmm…love you…so proud.”
 
IronmanDaremo said:
Having lived both sides, I can say it has been harder as the parent then it was as the PS kid. Even with the decision I chose.
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That is helpful, I appreciate it. As much as I tried to digest all the wisdom on this forum, I didn't realize how hard it would be on the parents. Every time I look through Thornton's pictures, I'm hoping I'll see one where she is smiling. They are rare, but when there is one I just light up.
 
And, because the question comes up every year, no, plebes do not get any time off between end of PS and Reform.

There is another week of PS after PPW. As Reform approaches, plebes move into academic year company spaces, get more stuff issued, get set up on computers, get their academic schedules, book issue, attend briefs, and before they know it, are facing the oncoming avalanche of ac year and 3 classes’ worth of upperclass companymates’ names to learn, Pro Know, etc. The pressure cooker lid gets clamped on. They will look back at PS as a time when they got quite a bit of sleep and didn’t have to organize their own schedule.
 
And I've heard various comment on this second slate of detainers (extending Freud comment). Are they harder, easier, different, varied, no one konws?
 
Sealion II said:
And I've heard various comment on this second slate of detainers (extending Freud comment). Are they harder, easier, different, varied, no one konws?
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I've read the first set of detailer's mission is to breakdown the plebes, while, the second group's mission is to build them up and prepare them for reform. Sounds like basic training: breakdown followed by building them up the way you want them to be.
 
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