Roller coaster I: Get You (The Parents) Through Plebe Year - Class of ‘27 🎢

Heatherg21 said:
@Banshee Mom . First, I feel ya'. I will never forget my first grocery shopping after leaving DS on the curb at our local airport, headed for I Day solo (Covid, 2020).

I walked into Walmart, was doing my usual routine, got to the freezer section, and dropped a box of 'uncrustables' into the cart (ooh, gross, I know but DS loved them). I took two steps and it hit me like a truck. He wasn't home, he wouldn't be home for 168 days, and I wasn't responsible for feeding him now. I couldn't feed him now, outside of leave trips home. I started ugly crying. Had to leave the cart and go sit in the car with the AC on. Just sobbed.

He ended up with dual long bone stress fractures in both legs, crutches for 8 weeks, and visits to ortho eating up time plebes don't have. He ended up ok. He was miserable going through it, but came out of it and thrived. Is still thriving and coming home tomorrow. I am busy planning food I get to cook for him while he is home. Full circle moment here.

Your DD will be okay, and your visit with her PPW will be all the more special and needed by all of you. PM me if you need to vent. And, if you haven't yet, try to locate your local parent club and get a member of an upper class midshipmen as a mentor, and a plebe parent as a battle buddy.
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One of the great things about social media and the internet even with its pitfalls , is the connections I’ve been able to make . I have made a wonderful friend from this forum, who even though we have never met face to face, has been an incredible support for me going back to when both our DDs were waitlisters. I’ve joined the NYC Parents Club and can only say wonderful things about how informative and friendly they have been . I like the FB pages for the most part . Probably doesn’t help that DD’s older sister accepted a job thousands of miles away from me also. Always raised them to have wings to fly , just kind of hard when they fly so far !
 
I've made several friends on the forum, 3 of whom I've met in person. It's a great resource. I'm glad you have people to support you in this process, it's a small group of people who can relate.

Yeah, I think we raised Artic Terns, the farthest-ranging birds on Earth. Sometimes I wish I had raised non-migratory children. 🤷‍♀️🪶
 
Thanks for all the advice and support upthread. The latest letter arrived. It was much more upbeat.

1st set of Detailers have loosened up quite a bit. Plebes received some updates to uniforms. One Plebe's embroidery was on the wrong side. A detailer pulled him out and said to the company, "Look at Smith, tell me what's wrong with him?" My daughter, "Sir, his hairline, sir" She said the company died laughing.

She's dreading the 2nd set, but hopes the screaming only lasts a few days. Fingers crossed.
 
Banshee Mom said:
How very kind of you to offer to write her ! She is very fortunate to have extended family and my friends write her and send packages. I think she is hurt that her friends aren’t , but I don’t think they understand the path she is on which is so different from their college experiences . DD is a very loyal person, but behind the tough exterior , she is also very sensitive and I think she is just hurt that her friends that she has always been there for seem to have forgotten her . Talking to parents who have traveled this USNA path , I don’t think it’s very unusual to grow apart from your high school friends , but I still think it stings a bit because if things were reversed , she would have written about ten letters by now .
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One thing we did, was had our plebes friends come over for one of the phone calls. We had our time on the phone, walked it down to the basement where the friends were gathered, and they yelled “SURPRISE”!!

IT
WAS
AWESOME

And our plebe was so surprised. We had ordered pizzas for the friends. They hung out for a bit together. After all, they are all in the friend group.

My Ensign still talks about that.

Worth a try?? You win best parents award from your plebe if you pull it off!
 
justdoit19 said:
One thing we did, was had our plebes friends come over for one of the phone calls. We had our time on the phone, walked it down to the basement where the friends were gathered, and they yelled “SURPRISE”!!

IT
WAS
AWESOME

And our plebe was so surprised. We had ordered pizzas for the friends. They hung out for a bit together. After all, they are all in the friend group.

My Ensign still talks about that.

Worth a try?? You win best parents award from your plebe if you pull it off!
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That is an outstanding idea. I have to see who is in town. Thanks!
 
Sealion II said:
Thanks for all the advice and support upthread. The latest letter arrived. It was much more upbeat.

1st set of Detailers have loosened up quite a bit. Plebes received some updates to uniforms. One Plebe's embroidery was on the wrong side. A detailer pulled him out and said to the company, "Look at Smith, tell me what's wrong with him?" My daughter, "Sir, his hairline, sir" She said the company died laughing.

She's dreading the 2nd set, but hopes the screaming only lasts a few days. Fingers crossed.
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DS developed a defensive mechanism when a detailer(s) is screaming 😱 at him: He looked them in the 👀 eyes and heard just yak yak yak yak yak yak (apply a melodic tone for maximum effect).
 
... so some of you are proud of your kid(os) as Plebe detailers. After the swearing-in ceremony, I asked DS, "how was it?" Without hesitation... with nose flared like a bull about to charge, "they're @$$....s." Up to this point he was a mild mannered kid without profanities. During PS, he used the yak yak method to tune out the screaming detailers. Recently, I asked him if he wants to be a detailer. He said, "not my leadership style." Surely the baby leadership claws and fangs are growing ever so nonchalantly.
 
severn said:
... so some of you are proud of your kid(os) as Plebe detailers. After the swearing-in ceremony, I asked DS, "how was it?" Without hesitation... with nose flared like a bull about to charge, "they're @$$....s." Up to this point he was a mild mannered kid without profanities. During PS, he used the yak yak method to tune out the screaming detailers. Recently, I asked him if he wants to be a detailer. He said, "not my leadership style." Surely the baby leadership claws and fangs are growing ever so nonchalantly.
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LOL my son said the same thing to me.

He was a detailer a year later, and CC the year after that. When I spoke to him right before CC, he said he was going to be tough. He was and they were afraid of him.

Until he wasn’t CC anymore. They liked and respected him after, and appreciated him for his small role in their development.
 
A1Janitor said:
LOL my son said the same thing to me.

He was a detailer a year later, and CC the year after that. When I spoke to him right before CC, he said he was going to be tough. He was and they were afraid of him.

Until he wasn’t CC anymore. They liked and respected him after, and appreciated him for his small role in their development.
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... was he safe in Kings Hall during Navy -Army game week?
 
severn said:
... was he safe in Kings Hall during Navy -Army game week?
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For historical reference it is "King" Hall, not Kings Hall. ;) King Hall honors Fleet Admiral Ernest J. King who served during WWII. He was known to have an ego on par with General Douglas MacArthur.
FADM_Ernest_J._King.jpg
 
severn said:
Recently, I asked him if he wants to be a detailer. He said, "not my leadership style."
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The beautiful thing about USNA is that it’s a learning lab for leadership. Mids, very few of whom have bona fide leadership experience, get to find their most effective style — the style that’s authentic to them and gets the job done. Some are better than others, but they’re all there to learn.

I’ve always told my kids: You can learn as much from bad bosses as from good bosses, e.g. what NOT to do. So your son will have a great opportunity in the coming years to test his own theories, identify his own principles, and see what works best.

While it may seem that way to a plebe, not all detailers are the same. They’re all in test-and-learn mode. Your son’s opportunity will come soon enough. 😉
 
WT Door said:
For historical reference it is "King" Hall, not Kings Hall. ;) King Hall honors Fleet Admiral Ernest J. King who served during WWII. He was known to have an ego on par with General Douglas MacArthur.
View attachment 14400
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King, Nimitz and Halsey have an entire fleet of buildings named after them. My OCS building in Newport was King Hall. Something else was Nimitz. Or else the reverse.
 
WT Door said:
For historical reference it is "King" Hall, not Kings Hall. ;) King Hall honors Fleet Admiral Ernest J. King who served during WWII. He was known to have an ego on par with General Douglas MacArthur.
View attachment 14400
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+++++++++++++++++++++
Minor est error
Humilis et humilis
Boneum diem habeas
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
 
MidCakePa said:
The beautiful thing about USNA is that it’s a learning lab for leadership. Mids, very few of whom have bona fide leadership experience, get to find their most effective style — the style that’s authentic to them and gets the job done. Some are better than others, but they’re all there to learn.

I’ve always told my kids: You can learn as much from bad bosses as from good bosses, e.g. what NOT to do. So your son will have a great opportunity in the coming years to test his own theories, identify his own principles, and see what works best.

While it may seem that way to a plebe, not all detailers are the same. They’re all in test-and-learn mode. Your son’s opportunity will come soon enough. 😉
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... so you're correct within the confines of USNA. He's above that because he grew up in a military family and community. I am sure he can identify his leadership style in a formal leadership manual. He definitely do not want a screaming nanny and/or lord chaos type of leadership. Since he was a toddler, he hangs around with me in the team room. On occasions, I would take him to the drop zone to wait for me after exiting from 20,000 feet. Every now and then, he would just tell me the crazy stuff we did together.
 
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