Anxiety About Going

[strawberrygirl122]

A few months ago, I was admitted into the Naval Academy. As time goes on, I get more and more anxious about going. Before I got the acceptance I was questioning whether I actually wanted to go or not. And now, I'm scared that I can't handle the Naval Academy or Naval Service mentally. I'm constantly confused about what should I do for my college career, but I feel like I HAVE to go to the Naval Academy. As the days go on I lose motivation and gain fear. Does anyone have any advice?

 

[Old Enlisted Marine]

I will say this, you should only go to an academy if YOU want to serve and commission as an officer. Do not do it because someone else wants you to, do not do it because its tradition in the family. There is a lot of hard work involved as well as a substantial commitment. You need to answer these questions honestly to yourself, it is your life. Being nervous is ok but if you have serious doubts, that is another story. The academy is difficult for those who want to be there but even harder for those that do not.

 

[Small Team Bacsi]

It’s fear. And that fear is not totally un rational..

You are not questioning your decision as much as you are afraid and that is making for a questioning of your decision.

If you can sit down and talk to a professional as to how to deal with being afraid .

Its possible you show up for IDay get yelled at fall behind. Become unhappy. Fall behind some more wand stress as many do. And then overcome as most do. And end up graduating as most do.

Its also possible you are not cut out for this,

No one here knows which it is for you.

 

[F14Weeds83]

I would ask what your "questioning" was all about prior to the acceptance. If you received your appointment several months ago, then the admissions board was confident that you were prepared to attend USNA and succeed. The one thing they cannot see is your heart. You must have convinced your BGO that you were up to the task or he would have noted your vacillation. If you can take a deep breath and change the "I HAVE to go to the Naval Academy" into I can't imagine anywhere else, you will be fine. Most candidates here have been dreaming of nothing else for years, and while they might be nervous about the challenges, they would be excited for the chance to realize that dream. Good luck on your decision, but commit to whatever you decide.

 

[strawberrygirl122]

Prior to my acceptance, I don't really know what it was about. One thing I do know is that there was a constant desire for them to say no. It was the most odd feeling in my life, because this was a dream for so long, but it soon became a burden

 

[MidCakePa]

Anxiety is normal for anyone embarking on a big change. It affects students headed for State U or Tech U or Pricey Private, not just an SA. As a form of stress, it can be very beneficial. It can prompt you to check your motivations, prepare even more, rethink your decision — none of them a bad thing if it puts you in a better place.

Don’t feel badly about the anxiety. Instead, figure out what’s making you anxious, contemplate it and address it head-on. But know that everyone has second thoughts about big changes.

Whether or not you have what it takes to succeed at an SA? The SAs have been evaluating and accepting/rejecting candidates for a long time. They have a pretty good hit rate. They know what to look for. You received offer of appointment because they believe you have what it takes. So knock that bit of doubt right out.

 

[THParent]

A few months ago, I was admitted into the Naval Academy. As time goes on, I get more and more anxious about going. Before I got the acceptance I was questioning whether I actually wanted to go or not. And now, I'm scared that I can't handle the Naval Academy or Naval Service mentally. I'm constantly confused about what should I do for my college career, but I feel like I HAVE to go to the Naval Academy. As the days go on I lose motivation and gain fear. Does anyone have any advice?

...Thought every single candidate who ever received an Offer of Appointment. You are in good company.

The first day of Plebe Summer is exactly like any first day in any branch of the military for anyone. At some point during that day, you will ask yourself "what have I gotten myself into here?"

It is a common experience - because if you haven't been in the military before - what you expect is something akin to what you know about it from TV or movies, and that's only about 20% correct. If you are an over-achiever and have never known failure before, you will find out what failure is all about first hand and you will find that lasting success never comes without a pretty fair helping of failure.

You will be challenged. If the vetting process for candidates does only one thing, it assures that every single person (including you) selected, is capable of flourishing at the Academy. They have faith in you and they will give you most of the tools that you need to succeed while you are there and when you become an officer. I say "most" of the tools you need, because they expect you to come with a lot of grit and determination.

Do it because you want to be an officer - as @Old Enlisted Marine says above - and not for any other reason and you will do well.

 

[usna1985]

You're not the first or the last person to have anxiety about attending a SA.

There is normal anxiety -- What is it really like? Will I be able to handle plebe summer? How will I stack up vs. the other really outstanding people in my class? Can I deal with all the military stuff? Will I be OK not going to parties every night? Am I prepared academically? Is my time management sufficient? And on and on.

These are normal questions and apprehensions that most soon-to-be plebes have.

Then there is the concerns that should trigger re-evaluation. Is someone strongly encouraging you to attend a SA -- it's their dream, not yours? Are you thinking that you can't see yourself at a SA? Is thought of being in the military for the next 9 years freaking you out?

If so, LISTEN to your inner self. The #1 reason people leave USNA is that they don't want to be there. In exit interviews, most of those midshipmen say that they harbored these doubts before showing up on I-Day but they didn't want to tell their parents, friends, teachers, etc. that they didn't want to attend.

Trust me, if you decline an appointment, in a very short time NO ONE will remember or care. You will go on to college and a successful life and everyone will talk about and care about what you are doing not what you didn't do.

 

[justdoit19]

Good thought already.

My oldest dealt with questions about whether he could handle it. Bc a SA is a huuuge unknown. With a huuuuge reputation. Some true, some not. What happened with him, is he spoke with a Mid he knew from his HS, while on a visit, and that Mid said ‘you can do this…if you can do xxx high school, you can do this’.

If this is part of your doubts, know that there are ‘normal, regular’ people at a SA. Middle of the pack people. Not everyone is th academic scholar. Or the elite athlete. Or the magnificent military mind. You will be shaped and molded into a leader. And they will mold you into your best leader self. And there are lots of different types of leaders. IOW, there is great variation in the type of student/leader at a SA, just like at HS.

Agree that USNA saw something in you, your whole person, that they know they can work with and mold. They spent a lot of time looking at you, through your resume, interview, and teacher/admin input. All of that together told them you have what it takes. So rest on that in you mind. They know what they are doing!!

Also know part of your anxiety is simply leaving the nest. The only place you have been your whole life. But you will be with over 1k kiddos doing the same thing. Who you are day #1 is waaaaaaaay different than 4 yrs later. If you find it isn’t for you, you can walk away.

Echoing more of the above, if your “why”mid to appease others?? That’s a red flag. But nervousness, doubt and anxiety is completely NORMAL.

Do you have a trusted coach/counselor/teacher/priest who knows you well that you can chat with? Other than your parents? Or 2? It is so normal to doubt. But doubt shouldn’t be the reason to not go. Bc it’s too great an opportunity to forgo bc of normal jitters.

Another thing I would recommend is to put down and away social media. Like all things social media, it’s not reality. And the constant ‘in your face-mess’ of it can be distressing. Just check out of all that and enjoy your senior year.

Good luck! And both of my guys were nervous. It’s normal.

 

[Old Navy BGO]

I will say this, you should only go to an academy if YOU want to serve and commission as an officer.

^ THIS ! USNA is not a "college decision". USNA is a Service Academy , N*T College . To some extent that distinction is blurring a little from what it was in the past, but unless you are 100% committed to serving as a Naval /Marine Corps Officer , you might be right in questioning your decision.

Prior to my acceptance, I don't really know what it was about. One thing I do know is that there was a constant desire for them to say no. It was the most odd feeling in my life, because this was a dream for so long, but it soon became a burden

^ I am confused -- how can USNA be a "dream for so long" without knowing what it is about ? Think about your initial motivation for applying -- do you want to be a Navy /Marine Corps officer, or did you apply because of the prestige of going to a Service Academy ? If the latter, I can assure you the prestige wears off when a Detailer is in your face during Plebe Summer, or you are struggling through Plebe Chemistry.

Bottom line -- of course, anxiety and self doubt are natural. We have all been there, but none of us can tell you whether you made the right decision. Think about your initial motivation for applying. If your heart and mind are in the right place, you will do fine -- USNA would not have made an Offer of Appointment if they didn't think you had what it takes to graduate , and to serve .

 

[St.Katherine]

A few months ago, I was admitted into the Naval Academy. As time goes on, I get more and more anxious about going. Before I got the acceptance I was questioning whether I actually wanted to go or not. And now, I'm scared that I can't handle the Naval Academy or Naval Service mentally. I'm constantly confused about what should I do for my college career, but I feel like I HAVE to go to the Naval Academy. As the days go on I lose motivation and gain fear. Does anyone have any advice?

I’ve read your post and I have only two comments/suggestions.

1. In YouTube, there are several videos of previous Induction Days. The candidates and family are interviewed. Both expressed anxiety (some fear) and joy. So I think this is normal.

2. Parachute Jump analogy. Before exiting the aircraft, there’s always fear before the jump. But after stepping outside, it’s peaceful and quiet.

“There’s nothing to fear but fear itself.”

DS is 2026 class bound. I always advise him that we are always there for him… literally just outside the gate.

 

[IronmanDaremo]

I grew up as a Navy officer brat. I was in Boy Scouts, AFJROTC for a year and a half in high school (before my dad got transferred again to an area that didn't have JROTC), lived in Annapolis twice (once while my dad taught at the Academy, and once while he worked in DC) and graduated high school from there, joined the Army active duty and went through basic and advanced training, served in a combat zone during Desert Shield/Storm, got released from my Army contract to attend NAPS, graduated NAPS and got my appointment to the Academy. I had strived to be a naval officer all my life. It was my biggest goal.

Basically, I was about as prepared as anyone who has walked through the gates. And Plebe summer was just yet another few months of getting yelled at, memorizing crap, and doing pushups/exercising. It was really easy for me.

But my heart also wasn't in it at all anymore. And while that wasn't apparent on the exterior, it was definitely burning brighter in my head. I made a decision and dropped out before the end of the summer.

My point is, you really need to be "there" mentally, or it will have a dramatic effect on your experience and may lead you to drop out. It is totally understandable to be nervous, anxious, excited, scared, etc. by the whole prospect. But the end result in your head should be something like, "Damn this is scary, but it is what I know I want to do to get to the end result of commissioning as an Ensign or 2nd LT and serve my country!" If that statement isn't in your head, you either need to honestly get there - and not just convince yourself that it is what you SHOULD do, or really consider what it is that you want at this stage in your life.

(And, for the record, while I have built a successful life, and have a great family and four smart sons who we are trying to raise as productive, caring, and good members of society, I do regret my decision that I quit the Academy. I should have taken the advice I'm giving you now to heart, because my answer really was different than just deciding to drop out).

 

[St.Katherine]

You're not the first or the last person to have anxiety about attending a SA.

There is normal anxiety -- What is it really like? Will I be able to handle plebe summer? How will I stack up vs. the other really outstanding people in my class? Can I deal with all the military stuff? Will I be OK not going to parties every night? Am I prepared academically? Is my time management sufficient? And on and on.

These are normal questions and apprehensions that most soon-to-be plebes have.

Then there is the concerns that should trigger re-evaluation. Is someone strongly encouraging you to attend a SA -- it's their dream, not yours? Are you thinking that you can't see yourself at a SA? Is thought of being in the military for the next 9 years freaking you out?

If so, LISTEN to your inner self. The #1 reason people leave USNA is that they don't want to be there. In exit interviews, most of those midshipmen say that they harbored these doubts before showing up on I-Day but they didn't want to tell their parents, friends, teachers, etc. that they didn't want to attend.

Trust me, if you decline an appointment, in a very short time NO ONE will remember or care. You will go on to college and a successful life and everyone will talk about and care about what you are doing not what you didn't do.

“No one will remember or care.”

- So true.

 

[THParent]

I think it's a lot different if you've been there and done that and then find yourself getting yelled at by kids during Plebe Summer. There is a story about one Navy SEAL who got an appointment, and then dropped out during Plebe Summer. It wasn't that he couldn't cut it. He just didn't care to play the game with kids telling him what to do after he had in fact, been there and done that.

 

[St.Katherine]

I think it's a lot different if you've been there and done that and then find yourself getting yelled at by kids during Plebe Summer. There is a story about one Navy SEAL who got an appointment, and then dropped out during Plebe Summer. It wasn't that he couldn't cut it. He just didn't care to play the game with kids telling him what to do after he had in fact, been there and done that.

“SEAL… dropped out… during Plebe Summer.”



Is there a reference to this? Please cite sources.

 

[IronmanDaremo]

I knew of one person who had finished BUDS who was in the class at NAPS before me. He would have been c/o '95 (I was c/o '96) at the Academy. But I thought I had heard he was there still while I was in NAPS, and had a reputation of being a psycho doing all kinds of crazy crap in the queen B.

 

[Heatherg21]

So much good advice above. I can tell you our now 3/C MIDN DS wanted this since 6th grade. The idea was due to me sharing our family history with USNA, but it quickly became his. He attended STEM camp and fell in love. It became his life's mission for the next 4 years.
Fast forward to the anxiety-laden junior summer and senior first semester during the application cycle. He put pressure on himself, he wanted to get in so badly. He had a Plan B, a 4 year Tier 1 NROTC but he was 100% all-in for USNA.

A few days before IDay we held a party to shave his hair off (Covid times, so USNA asked it to be done in advance). I could see his nerves. He was trying to enjoy it but now this decision was looming.

We talked about it. I told him he could change his mind. "No one will remember or care" in a few months, at all. I told him he didn't have to have all of the answers right now, and the beauty of it is this:

IF you think you want to be a Naval officer, there is no harm in trying. USNA has been carefully selecting MIDN for 176 years and they are really good at it.

IF it turns out you actually survive Plebe Summer (and I bet you do just fine) you will settle in and find your stride, with some stumbling along the way. You will question your choice, your lack of sleep, your academic work, your PT--- but you won't question the bonds you form with other shipmates who are in your shoes (just different sizes). You will get through it together. And with a sense of humor, you will laugh your way through it all (DS has had amazing roomies and I love listening to their laughter and silliness, some a bit macabre).

Now, summer training, the good stuff. The exciting window into your future. This may be where you get bit by the bug of being an aviator, a submariner, a surface warfare officer, or a Marine. OR you could find that it isn't something you can see yourself doing. AND THAT'S OKAY.

That is why the 2/7 signing takes place at the beginning of your junior year. You get to try on Navy life and grow. You get to accomplish things you never thought you could. You may fail at many things-by design.

Wasn't it Rocky that said, "It ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward."

IF at the end of all of that time, YOU decide this is not for you, YOU get to say so. You simply don't sign your 2/7 contract. You walk away with 2 years of incredible life experiences, top-of-the-list academic courses (and transferable credits), summer training, mentors, lifelong friendships, and personal growth. AND no debt. No other college (besides SA's) can provide you with that.

Not a bad 'try on' period if ya' ask me.

All that being said, if you know now, stick with your gut. If you are unsure, the try might just be a once-in-a-lifetime.
The nerves are totally normal. And remind yourself, no 17-20 year old has all the answers, you aren't expected to know what you want your entire life to look like at this moment in your journey.

 

[St.Katherine]

I knew of one person who had finished BUDS who was in the class at NAPS before me. He would have been c/o '95 (I was c/o '96) at the Academy. But I thought I had heard he was there still while I was in NAPS, and had a reputation of being a psycho doing all kinds of crazy crap in the queen B.

Please… it’s a matter of perspectives.

I’ve trained with them, yes they party all night, and run 8 miles the Next day during PT while smoking a cigar.

Question for you my honorable friend, do you want them on your side during a firefight or you want the tree huggers who called them psychos?
So stop blubbering untruths with just hearsay… need references from Baltimore Sun or Washington Post.

 

[IronmanDaremo]

Dude. I planned on going SEAL if I had stayed at the Academy. I was literally in the process of applying for Q school for Army Special Ops when I got my orders to report for NAPS and released from my Army contract.

I wanted to BE in the front of the firefight, not critiquing on the sidelines!

 

[St.Katherine]

Dude. I planned on going SEAL if I had stayed at the Academy. I was literally in the process of applying for Q school for Army Special Ops when I got my orders to report for NAPS and released from my Army contract.

I wanted to BE in the front of the firefight, not critiquing on the sidelines!

Sorry “planned” is lightweight.
Wannabes don’t count.
Close but no cigar.