Automatic Hijack Thread


Jun 15, 2006
Hey, want to say something but don't think it deserves a thread. Don't want to start a new thread. Have that inspiration or thought for the day that you just have to share with someone. That stupid little tidbit of humor that you would never dare tell anyone face to face. That is what the Automatic Hijack Thread is for.
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?

How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
Build a man a fire, you'll keep him warm for one evening. SET a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.:redface:
Going to Pizza Hut in New York is like eating Taco Bell in Mexico


Why do the lockers in police locker rooms have locks on them?

If 7/11's are open 24 hours, why do the doors have locks on them?

Why is "abbreviate" such a long word?
How 'bout them Red Sox? Swept the Yankees this weekend in Fenway! Gotta love 'em!

Random thought: Chip made me hungry. Here's whats for dinner here. What are ya'll havin'?

Black & Blue Burgers

4 ounces blue cheese
4 tablespoons butter
Salt and freshly ground pepper
1 1/2 pounds ground beef or ground chuck

In a medium bowl, mash together blue cheese and butter. Salt and pepper mixture, to taste. Place mixture on plastic wrap and roll up to form a cylinder. Refrigerate until firm, about 1 hour. After cheese mixture has firmed up, divide ground beef into 4 equal portions and make an indention in the center of each patty. Slice blue cheese mixture into 4 equal parts and place in indentation in patties. Mold ground beef around the cheese mixture to cover. Cook on hot grill or in skillet to desired doneness.
How 'bout them Red Sox? Swept the Yankees this weekend in Fenway! Gotta love 'em!

Stream of consciousness thought:

Red Sox>>>Billy Buchner>>>1986>>>World Series>>>New York Mets>>> I have tickets for this entire weekend's series between the Mets and the Nationals>>>Go Mets
I think he lives in Canada now. Montana at least - somewhere really out there.
If your going to risk your life in the military why not go the extra step for the country and buy a Ford/GM/Chrysler vehicle
One Blue Angel graduated from NY Maritime Academy, one from USAFA, in addition to the narrator from USAFA. None from USNA.
If your (sic)going to risk your life in the military why not go the extra step for the country and buy a Ford/GM/Chrysler vehicle

Or really put your life at risk and get a really fast one.:biggrin:

Comment does not apply to Chrysler.:thumb:
Zap - In case you missed the Sports section today -
The Yankees lost again. Yep 4 losses in a row. Only 1/2 a game ahead of lowly Tampa Bay. George must be fuming!:yllol: :shake: :biggrin:

Chip: Except that a lot of Chevy's are made in Canada and a lot of Honda's are made in Tennessee.
But yeah - I have never owned a foreign car. I do think a nice little Beemer would look cool in my driveway though.
Zap - In case you missed the Sports section today

What's the sports section? Haven't seen one since I was a Plebe. The entire sports industry could dry up and disappear tomorrow and I'd barely notice.

Only reason I still reply to obnoxious Boston fans is because I remember my childhood days as a Yankee fan. :thumb:

So who is slated to win the Stanley Cup this year, the American League or the NFL?
The rangers really suprised me this week, WE WANT THE CUP! WE WANT THE CUP!

Sweeet caroline...
On the $ Z. A bunch of spoiled business employees whose owner - promoters are trying to persuade the gullible fan-consumer that theirs is competitive sport at its finest. Or even competitive sport. What was it Curt Gowdy used to say in introducing the Wide World of Sports? The thrill of victory. The agony of defeat? Yea, right. Maybe when they lose the big game and realize their payoff is only $500K instead of a $mill. Yea, perhaps we lived in fantasyland back in those days, but I was much happier not knowing that Mickey Mantle was an ugly drunk and lousy father. Or that Ray Charles was a heroin addict. (I know, I digress ... )

What I cannot understand is why so many are so willing to spend so much for so little.

As one Pittsburgh sports reporter recently wrote, "I challenge anyone to go into a professional lockerroom 10 minutes after the contest and try and figure out who won or lost." Maybe the World Series or Super Bowl aside. But then again, they're still out on the field, getting ready for their free ride to Disney World.:zip:
Professional team sports at the highest level has morphed from athletic contests to business entertainment. Stadiums and arenas are now designed to maximize space built for suites intended to promote deal making and customer relationships. The demand for individual performers (entertainers) produced the unintended consequence of teams seemingly built around thugs and criminals. It's becoming less a game and more of a show that's pricing itself out of the family entertainment market.

My love of baseball is no longer returned at major league ballparks. I much prefer watching the game from the friendly confines of Triple A minor league parks in such places as Des Moines, Indianapolis, Louisville, Toledo, New Orleans, etc. I can get an inexpensive seat close enough to the field to hear the umpire talking to the catcher. I have yet to see or hear obnoxious drunks fighting like I experienced every time I attended a Phillies home game. Yes, I don't get to watch pitchers throwing bullets or hitters launching monster shots like in the major leagues, but the game seems purer at the Triple A level. To me, it's close to the major league baseball I remember from my youth.