Over the years, every so often, burger discussions crop up - In 'n' Out vs. Five Guys, etc. Passions ignite. Factions form. Trash talk is bandied about. Photos are posted. I have been in Fort Worth the last ten days for meetings and training at the HQ for my new job (yes, finally back in the salaried work force as of 8 weeks ago). So, for no particular reason, I ate sensible and healthy breakfasts, lunched on lightly dressed salads heavy on greens and cruciferous vegetables, faithfully did cardio and lifted...and indulged in a survey of In-n-Out Burger, Five Guys, Smashburger, Whataburger. I threw in a Texas Roadhouse burger for good measure. I have never seen such a meeting place of West Coast and East Coast chains. Clearly, this was not a blind tasting. I did just get the basic cheeseburger at all test sites, with the smallest order of fries, and water. Alas, shake-testing must await another visit. Stipulated: all of our backyard burgers are the best. There are many other places good burgers can be found. I still like the super-simple menu at In-n-Out, the well-made fresh patty, toasted bun, fries cut on the spot and fried before your eyes. Five Guys - another good-tasting burger, but it always seems slightly greasier. An astonishing number of fries, as always, and more small dark crunchy ones, my favorites. Smashburger. I like the smashing which seems to produce more surface area of crust, which I like. Otherwise, okay. Whataburger. Um, okay. I didn't grow up with it, so no attachments there. Texas Roadhouse. A very fine quality burger, beautifully cooked to my requested temp. Not quite within the study guidelines but hey. I could not face Sonic or any other burger this trip. Time for beef detox. Full confession: I also hit my old favorites of Old South Pancake House (Dutch baby!) and Hoffbrau House near TCU, and Cousins' BBQ for smoked turkey. This about as off-topic as it gets, and is definitely not political, though I am sure someone will feel I have dissed Whataburger.