Dad Joke thread (everybody welcome)

[Devil Doc]

I had to remove the battery from my carbon monoxide detector.

The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick.

 

[ProudDad17]

 

[StPaulDad]

 

[justme]

A couple days late, but why don't mummies ever take vacations?

...

They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.

 

[THParent]

What do you call a bee from America?

A USB !

 

[Dadx4]

How does a witch control her hair?

Scare Spray

 

[Old Enlisted Marine]

 

[THParent]

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says: "What'll you have?"

"Pop", goes the weasel.

 

[usafcellist2026]

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

 

[justme]

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

Which is why skeletons make bad donors. Their hearts just aren't in it anymore.

 

[Capt MJ]

 

[2025 hopeful]

Not sure if this one was on the 16 pages, but thought it was funny when my spouse said it to my boys tonight and they eye rolled.

When is a joke a dad joke?

When it is apparent.

 

[Devil Doc]

I told a joke in class today. One student laughed.

 

[StPaulDad]

There's always somebody angling for a better grade or more allowance.

 

[THParent]

My obese parrot died today.

It's sad, but a huge weight off my shoulders.

 

[Capt MJ]

My obese parrot died today.

It's sad, but a huge weight off my shoulders.

I’m glad you didn’t use the term “wight,” as my brow would permanently furrow with a Game of Thrones Dad joke.

 

[Jarhead713]

There's always somebody angling for a better grade or more allowance.

It's only crazy if it doesn't work!

 

[Devil Doc]

Headline from DC channel 4 tonight: Big heist at bake shop.

 

[THParent]

 

[Jarhead713]

Shot my first Turkey today!

Scared the hell out of everyone in the frozen section…